Right Place, Right Time (Second Chances Book 2) (8 page)

Kate

I set my phone on the coffee table and sigh. Looking up at the ceiling, I will myself not to cry. I’ve already done enough of that.

Jay is avoiding me. Two days I’ve been calling him and no response. Sometimes the voicemail picks up after only one ring, like he’s declined the call instead of letting it ring out. I left a voicemail yesterday because I’d wanted to see him again…pick up where we’d left off at my apartment the night before. Then I got the news from Casey this morning that her father had passed away. Now I simply need a friend.

I thought that’s what Jay and I had set out to be…friends. Sure, the other night may have complicated that a bit…but our attraction to one another is unavoidable and surely it was going to culminate at some point. It was to be expected. I just can’t believe he’d play the avoidance game. I thought we’d made progress as friends even before we’d gotten intimate. It’s kind of funny considering all the times we’ve been together he’s been so concerned about not being good enough for me.

Way to prove your point.

Message received.

I have an exam in one of my classes that I absolutely cannot miss and hadn’t been able to reschedule, so I’m not able to fly out for Casey’s dad’s services. It breaks my heart that I can’t be there for my friend, but I know her mother will take good care of her. She needs this time with her mom anyway. There’s been too much distance between them—physical distance. Casey hasn’t been home to South Carolina in the almost three years we’ve been here. Not that I’m one to talk. The difference is…Casey’s parents actually want her there.

But that’s a wound for another time.

The wound I’m focusing on now is the one that Jay Spencer has left on my heart. No, I’m not in love with the guy. That would be foolish considering we barely know one another. But, besides Casey, he’s been the only real friend I’ve had here in California. Pathetic, right? Considering we’ve only just reunited. I was real with him though, through my letters years ago and our recent talks. It was different from the acquaintanceships I keep with fellow students for the sake of appearances and study groups. They’re all convenience friends…convenient for the sake of school, not my personal life.

Not to mention Jay is gorgeous and sexy and the things he can do with his fingers and tongue…

I digress…

I lean back against the comforting couch cushions and close my eyes. Try as I might, I just can’t stop my thoughts from turning to Jay. The way he makes me feel…physically and emotionally…it completes me.

He
completes me.

How cliché.

But seriously…he’s everything I hadn’t known I’d been missing in my life.

I don’t know why he even moved to California if he’s going to act like a big freaking baby and hide from me when things get a little too hot for him to handle. What a chicken shit. He came here for me, for crying out loud. Then he makes the grand gesture and cowers…what the hell is that about?

I open my eyes and sit up straight. No. I’m not going to let him pull that. If he wants to back away from me and pretend that we’re nothing…not even friends…he can do it to my face. I look at the clock and see that it’s almost four. I never asked, but I assume Jay works nine to five, so I’ve got time to get to his shop and patiently wait for him to clock out so we can have a little come to Jesus meeting.

I think he’d said his boss’s name was Leroy, so I type “Leroy” and “motorcycle repair shop” into the search engine on my phone. Almost immediately I have a hit for a shop in San Jose.

“Bingo!” I jump up from the couch and grab my bag from the table by the door. I slip my feet into my flip flops and do a quick face check in the small mirror over the table. I’d been crying, so I make sure my eyes aren’t too puffy and I don’t have snot on my face. My hair could use some work, but otherwise I look okay, so I pick up my keys and open the apartment door, stepping right out into a firm, solid chest.

“What the…?” I look up and my eyes widen. Jay. Here. On my doorstep.

“Going somewhere?” he asks with a smirk.

Oh no, he doesn’t. He doesn’t get to act all cute. I lift up my chin in defiance. “Yeah, I was going somewhere.”

He takes a step back and raises his arm as if he’s letting me pass. “Don’t let me stop you.”

I narrow my eyes at him and take a step forward so we’re only about a foot apart. Then I point my finger right into his sternum. “I was going to see you.”

His eyebrows draw together. “See me? Where?”

“Leroy’s,” I tell him, giving him a smirk of my own.

His eyes widen, and he starts shaking his head. “You can’t go over there.”

“Well, obviously. Because you’re here.”

“No, Kate. I mean anytime. That’s not a good neighborhood, and you don’t need to be wandering around it.”

I roll my eyes. I’m so sick of this right side/wrong side of the tracks crap. I’ve volunteered in places as bad as or worse than what he’s trying to protect me from. “Whatever. What are you doing here, anyway?”

“I came to apologize.”

“Oh, yeah?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. Maybe I won’t have to lay it into him after all. Or maybe I still will; I haven’t decided. I let out a sigh, deflating from my tense posture and open my apartment door again. “Come in.” He follows me inside and I offer him a drink, which he declines. He takes a seat on the sofa, and I sit in the armchair diagonal to it, not ready to be next to him on
that
couch yet. I look at him expectantly, and he finally takes the hint and starts talking.

“I’m sorry for not taking your calls. I talked to Sean today, and he sort of put things into perspective for me. I wanna be a better guy…a better man…”

“You’re already a good guy, Jay,” I tell him, leaning forward in my seat.

“I know you think that—”

“I don’t think it, I know it,” I tell him, my tone not leaving room for negotiation.

“I know, Kate. I know.” His shoulders rise and fall with the weight of his sigh. “But I’ve spent the last several years being told I was a good-for-nothing, piece of shit—by my parents and myself. I need to convince myself that’s not true. I…” It pains me to hear how poorly he thinks of himself, and I hate to see him struggling so much with his words. “I need to believe in myself, Kate. The way that you believe in me. So I can be a better man. For you. I want to be a better man for you.”

My heart melts at his words. He wants to be a better man for me? He wants to believe in himself? Gosh, if he could only see what I see. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? He can’t and he needs to.

I can’t wait to show him.

I get up from the chair and walk over to where he’s sitting, certain he can see the moisture in my eyes but not giving a damn. I kneel down in front of him and wrap my arms around his body, hugging him tight. I rest my head on his shoulder and squeeze. He raises his arms slowly, then wraps them around me and lets out a relieved sigh.

“I know you already know
I
think you’re pretty amazing, but I’ll do whatever I can to help
you
believe that, too.”

He squeezes me tighter and whispers “thank you” into my hair, and I think that maybe, just maybe, everything will work out.

Jay

Things got better…easier…between Kate and me after I finally decided to take down my walls and let her in. We had a good talk that day in her apartment, and many more since. I know it sounds crazy, but I can actually feel the positivity rolling off her. She just has this energy and I’m sucking up every bit of it I can.

My sunshine. My light.

We’ve kissed some more, but that’s it. I’d told her straight out that I don’t want to go further until I’m sure my head is on straight. I’m getting there though. Which is great since she’s getting harder and harder to resist. The things she does with her mouth when we’re making out are amazing, not to mention her hot little body. I can’t wait to touch and kiss every last bit of it.

Kate’s roommate is back, and there’s some sort of ex-boyfriend or guy friend drama going on. Kate’s been pretty wrapped up in taking care of her friend the last couple days, and taking final exams—it seems like she’s always taking exams—so when I’m not at work, Sean and I have been laying down the details for our road trip to Sturgis in August. We’ve got plenty of time, but we’re not the only guys planning on riding to the rally, so we need to make sure we’ve got our route mapped and our hotel reservations in place. It would suck to land at a motel with no vacancy. The more Sean and I talk about the trip, the more excited I get about it.

“I’m thinking about leaving early, riding down to L.A., and taking Route 66 to Oklahoma,” I tell Sean, following the route on the map with my finger.

“That’s quite the detour, bro. It’s a killer idea, though. Wish I could make that part of the trip with you.”

“Why can’t you?” I ask, already knowing the answer. This trip is going to take weeks as it is, add a cross-country trip to that and Julia is sure to have a fit. She’s a cool chick and all, but what wife wants her husband to be out joyriding with his best friend for almost a month?

“Jules would have my ass if I even suggested it.” I hear him exhale and know that he’s smoking a cigarette. I wish he’d quit, but the fool has been at it since junior high. I doubt he’s going to stop now.

I laugh. “I’m surprised she’s even letting you go to Sturgis.”

“She’s not
letting
me do anything. I’m my own man. She’s got her books and shit and goes to all those things where she meets authors and people as crazy as she is…I’ve got my bike.”

“And those things where you meet bike builders and people as crazy as you are?”

He laughs. “Exactly.”

“You want to meet around OKC?” I ask him.

“I think Amarillo would be more even. And there’s more of a straight shot north to Sturgis from there, too. Through Colorado.”

I look on the old fashioned, huge U.S. map I have spread out on the table before me and see what he’s talking about. The route makes more sense than the one from Oklahoma City. “We’ll need to map out gas stations along the way.”

“We should probably grab a pull-behind or two, stow some extra shit in ‘em. Maybe some extra gas, just in case. A lot of these routes are pretty desolate and we don’t want to get screwed.”

I groan internally. Nothing badass about towing a pull-behind, but we’ve got to be practical, no matter how uncool it may be. Sean’s right. We don’t want to end up out of gas in the middle of nowhere. A planned gas stop may be closed, we could hit traffic, weather…you never know.

“Good idea. Let’s plan on that.”

“So how’s it going with Kate?”

This time I groan out loud. He’s held it in this long, I’ll give him that much. “It’s going.”

“Did you get over yourself?” he chuckles, loving how uncomfortable he’s making me. I hate talking about feelings and shit, and I about overdosed on it with him the last time.

“I did,” I admit.

“That’s my boy,” he whoops. “You gonna give it a go?”

“We’re gonna try. She believes in me.” I say that last part quietly, almost hoping he doesn’t hear me.

“Well, I like her already,” Sean says. “I can’t wait to meet her. You bringing her to Sturgis?”

I laugh out loud at that. Yeah, I can just picture Kate at Sturgis in her pastel clothes and fancy shoes. Don’t get me wrong, she’d be sexy as hell in a paper bag, but the people of Sturgis are a whole different breed. I’ve never been, but I’ve seen pictures. Half-dressed women and lots of black, leather, and denim. She’s too prim and proper for all that, and I wouldn’t change her for a minute, I love her just the way she is.

Wait…love?

No.

Maybe?

Could I love her?

I sure as hell feel something for her.

“Sean…how did you know? With Jules? How did you know she was the one?”

Sean’s quiet for a minute, and I can tell I just threw him for a loop. “You serious right now?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s different for everyone, bro. With Jules, I just knew. It was so obvious it just couldn’t be explained as anything else. It hits you like a fucking Mack truck, dude.”

“Must not be love if I had to ask then, huh?”

“Maybe, maybe not. You’ve got so much shit in your head, you haven’t allowed yourself to relax and go with the flow. I bet once you do, it’ll hit you,” he says. “If that’s what it is,” he adds as an afterthought.

“I guess.”

“So I take it Kate won’t be coming to Sturgis?”

I’m grateful to Sean for changing the subject. “Not her scene.”

“Well, I can’t wait to meet her,” he says, and I can tell he means it.

“Same here. Maybe after she graduates,” I tell him, even though I have no clue what Kate wants to do after she graduates. All I know is she plans to go to medical school, even though she doesn’t want to, but I don’t know where. Shouldn’t you know something like that about the person you’re in a relationship with? Are we even in a relationship? What if she chooses a med school in another city? Am I supposed to just follow her? I followed her here…does she expect me to now? I’m getting way ahead of myself.

“Earth to Spencer.”

I shake the thoughts from my head. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s all good. I remember when Jules and I first got together. I spaced out a lot,” he chuckles.

I frown. I hadn’t been there for that. I wish I could have seen my best friend acting a total fool in love with his girl. I’d only met Julia a handful of times before I left South Carolina. Even in those brief moments, I could tell how much Sean loved her and how much she loved him. They looked at each other with stars in their eyes and shit.

Do Kate and I look at each other like that?

“Hey, man. Sorry to cut this short but Jules just got home with dinner. We’ll talk next week?”

“Yeah. I’ll look for a pull-behind.”

“Me, too. Later, bro.”

“Later.”

I end the call and as usual, my thoughts drift to Kate. Will I ever be able to let go of my past enough to just be in the present? Will I ever be able to fully
feel
anything with her until I do?