Right Place, Right Time (Second Chances Book 2) (5 page)

Kate

Hearing him say
I’m
the reason he came to California makes my pulse race. I feel like I’m on top of the world. Jay Spencer—possibly the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life—came to California because of me. Because
I’m
in California. I pretty much figured that out on my own, but it’s nice to hear him confirm it. I can’t help but smile like I’ve just won the lottery. Jay looked a little wary when he’d answered my question, but now he’s smiling back at me. And he looks relieved.

“I can’t say I’m not happy to hear that, but…” I frown, do I want to go there? We’re having a good time, chatting like the old friends we really aren’t…do I want to spoil it with talk about the past?

He reaches across the table and puts his hand over mine. “Talk to me.”

I cherish the warmth of his hand on mine. My body hums at the contact, and I hope he doesn’t let go. “What made you think coming here was a good idea? What if I’d hated you? I mean you moved across the country, Jay. If you wanted to check on me, you could have called. It’s just…the way we left things…it wasn’t good. You were mean. Like really, really mean.”

He lets go of my hand and leans back in his seat. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am about that.”

“You already told me you were sorry.”

He nods solemnly; I can see the guilt all over his face. He really wears his emotions on the outside. Jay is a beautiful man, but the years have not been kind to him. The stress and exhaustion are apparent in the dark circles under his eyes and his tight expressions. He needs to loosen up.

“I didn’t know how else to get you to stay away. It was a shitty move.”

“If you’d just asked me to not visit…” I trail off, peeling at the label on my bottle.

“I wasn’t exactly making the best decisions back then.”

I look up at him and tap the table to get his attention. He stops looking out the window and looks at me. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You’ve got a lot of faith in me,” he says dryly.

“You’ve given me no reason not to have faith in you.”

He laughs and shakes his head, a sexy smile spreading across his face. “You’re really something, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” I wink at him as I stand up to throw out my trash.

He jumps to his feet. “I got that,” he says, gathering all our trash and taking it to the receptacle across the room. As I watch him walk across the room in his plain white t-shirt and dark blue jeans, I notice I’m not the only one who has their attention on him. A few other diners are watching him, too. Only rather than looking like they want to undress him, these people are looking at him like he’s an outcast. Like he doesn’t belong. Is it his tattoos? He’s got full sleeves on each arm, I can see how they might draw attention.

I smile as he makes his way back to me, keeping a wide distance between himself and the other patrons. Is this what it’s like for him? Do people take one look at him and decide he’s no good? Just because he doesn’t look like an Abercrombie model? The way he keeps his distance and fixes his eyes on me gives me the impression that this isn’t the first time he’s been looked at like that.

“Is it always like that?” I ask him when we step outside.

“Like what?”

“People looking at you like…” I can’t finish the sentence.

“Like I’m a criminal? Like I’m bad news? Scum on the bottom of their shoes?” He quirks his brow, and I nod. “Goes with the territory,” he shrugs.

“That’s such bullshit,” I tell him, my pace quickening with my fury. I’m getting really angry, and I’m almost as angry at him for being so blasé about it as I am at those people for being so ignorant. “They don’t even know you.”

“Kate, it’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal!” I yell.

He stops walking and faces me, putting his hands on my shoulders. I look up into his silver eyes. “People see tattoos and cheap clothes and they look at me different. It’s only a big deal if I let it be one.”

I let out a huff and roll my eyes. “Whatever happened to treating people as equals?” I ask.

He laughs at me. “Yeah…I don’t think that’s been a thing for a while, Kate.”

“So you don’t care that people treat you differently because of your appearance?”

“Kate…the kind of people who judge someone by what’s on the outside aren’t the kind of people I care to be around. So no, I don’t care that they treat me differently because I don’t care about them. I look the way I want to look, the way I like, anyone who has a problem with that can just get over themselves.”

Well, when he puts it that way…

“I appreciate that you’re all set and ready to defend my honor, but there are better things you could use your energy on.”

My breath catches as my mind immediately goes to a naughty place. Yes…there are better things I can use my energy on. Him being one of them. “Like what?” I ask, looking up into his eyes, which appear heated for just a moment…such a brief moment that I’m not even sure I saw it clearly.

He drops his hands from my shoulders and nudges me to start walking again. “Like finishing school.” Dammit. Soooo not where I was hoping he’d go with that. “You really want to be a doctor?”

We walk across the street to the park, him holding my hand as we cross as per usual. I go straight for the swings, needing to feel free as a bird to have this conversation.  Instead of having to pump my legs to get some height, Jay steps behind me and pushes.

“In junior high, I was given two options. I call them ‘The Dumont Paths to Success, Tracks One and Two.’ Track One: med school. Track Two: law school. My parents both suck,” I say, surprising myself. While I’ve thought that for quite some time, I’ve never voiced it out loud before, and certainly not in front of someone else. I’ve been trained to keep up appearances and never let my guard down.

“Sounds like it. You didn’t have a choice in the matter?”

“Sure I did. I got to pick whether I wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer,” I tell him dryly. “Anyway…my parents both suck, but my dad is a little softer than my mom. So I picked med school, because I didn’t want to turn out like her.” Cold and uncaring, I think but don’t dare say. “Maybe I should have gone to law school. Maybe having a protégé would have softened her up.” Maybe she would have felt something towards me other than indifference.

“Do you like it?” he asks, repeating my earlier question to him.

“I’m good at it,” I answer, shrugging as best I can while holding onto the swing.

“You’re brilliant, I’m sure you’d be good at anything you put your mind to. I asked if you like it. Does it make you happy?”

My shoulders slump, and I lean my head against the chain. He slows the swing down and pulls me to a stop.

“Hey…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“You’re not prying,” I tell him, staring down at my sandal covered feet. They’re filthy from the dirt and dust in the park. “You asked me a simple question. Do I like what I study?”

“Do you?”

I let out a sigh and shrug. I focus all of that energy he was talking about earlier on not tearing up. No one has ever really asked me how I feel about it all, or what I want. The guidance counselors in high school had admired my drive and ambition and just assumed I was on the path I wanted to be on.

“I like the idea of being a healer, and I know it’s something I’d be good at. I know I’ll have a career where I’ll be saving lives, and I think that will be fulfilling.”

“But…,” he says, interrupting my practiced response.

“But what?”

“Where’s your passion? When you figure out the one thing you want to do for the rest of your life, you’ve got to feel passionate about it. You sound like you could take it or leave it.”

“Teaching,” I whisper.

“What?”

“I love to teach. I tutored in high school…it was my most favorite thing to do.”

“So why not teach?”

I shake my head. He doesn’t get it. No one does. “My parents would never allow that.”

“Why are you letting them dictate your future?” he says, irritation in his voice.

“Because they’re paying for it,” I snap at him.

“Kate…can’t you get loans or something? Don’t you want to do what you’re passionate about? This is the rest of your life we’re talking about. Do you really want to be doing something you just feel ‘okay’ about for the rest of your life?”

“You don’t understand,” I say, standing up from the swing and stepping around him.

“Then make me,” he demands.

I turn to face him. “I told my parents I was interested in teaching, and they made me quit tutoring. Said it was giving me the wrong ideas.”

“So do it without them.”

“I can’t. They’d completely disown me, Jay. I know that sounds petty because I’m an adult, and I already live on the other side of the country, but they foot the bill on my entire life. And they’d pull it all out from under me if I didn’t do what they wanted. My apartment, my car, my tuition…everything.”

“Okay,” he says, putting his arms around me and pulling me into his chest as a few tears break free. “It’s okay. Never mind all that.” I take a deep breath and breathe him in. He smells like leather and fresh air and maybe a little grease. Nothing at all like some of the other boys I’ve dated over the years. They’d smelled like the fragrance counter at Dillard’s.

Jay

I really wish I could get my hands on Kate’s parents and just shake the hell out of them. They’ve got an amazing daughter, and somehow they don’t think it’s enough…that she’s enough. What kind of parents would discourage their child from following their passion? Especially when her passion would lead her to a respectable career? There’s nothing wrong with teaching. Nothing at all.

Her letters are starting to make sense to me now. I remember the one where she mentioned that she’d stopped tutoring. That’s when her light seemed to have burnt out. When the tone of her messages turned sad. The one thing she had been passionate about was taken away from her. Could they not see it? If I can tell by a letter, surely they could tell just by looking at her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers against my chest.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I tell her, kissing the top of her head without even realizing I’m doing it. Her parents are the ones who should be sorry.

She sniffles as she pulls away. “I guess this isn’t exactly how you wanted to spend your Saturday.”

“I just wanted to see you,” I tell her, and it’s the honest truth. I like talking to her and seeing with my own two eyes that she’s okay.

She smiles at that. “Want to head over to my place? We can sit and watch some TV or something. Talk? Or we can stay here,” she gestures over to the table where we’d sat and talked last night.

“It feels really nice out here, why don’t we hang out outside for a while? I’ve spent so much time indoors the last few years, I love being out in the fresh air.”

She nods, and I follow her over to the picnic table. Once seated, she folds her hands on the table and looks at me. “How’s your brother?”

In my letters I’d told her about my family or lack thereof. “Mac’s good. He just made lieutenant.”

“That’s great,” she says, smiling brightly. “Is he still with the same department?”

“Yep, Richland County.” My brother being a cop has come between us once or twice, but I’m proud of him. He works hard and risks his life every day.

“I bet he misses you. Do you still talk to him?”

“Probably not as often as I should.”

“Are things okay between you two?” I had confided in Kate about the blow up between Mac and me; the one that resulted in our not speaking for more than a year. She’s actually the one who encouraged me—or told me rather—to get over myself.

“Things between us are good. He actually helped me get over here.”

Her eyes light up. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s great, Jay,” she says, putting her hand over mine and squeezing. It is great. My brother is the only family I’ve got and as much as we butt heads, I know he truly has my back and is concerned about my best interests. “What about Sean?”

I smile, surprised she remembered my best friend’s name. Then again, she has the memory of an elephant, so I shouldn’t be surprised at all. “He’s good. He’s probably going to come out here this summer for a week or so.”

“That’ll be fun. Does he have a motorcycle, too?”

“Yeah. He’s got an Indian.”

She narrows her eyes. “I don’t know what that means.”

“It’s a type of bike. A brand name, like Harley.”

She nods absently. “Yeah…okay.”

“That’s it,” I say, standing up. “I’ll be right back.”

She quickly stands and hurries after me. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get a helmet, then I’m coming back here, and I’m taking you for a ride.”

She stops short and crosses her arms over her chest. “Nuh-uh. No, you’re not,” she says, standing her ground and shaking her head. She’s adorable.

I stop walking and turn to face her. “Just a short ride around the block. I’ll go slow. I promise.” She starts shaking her head again. “Please,” I beg, holding my hands up in front of me like I’m praying. Next I’ll break out the pout, and I really hope it doesn’t have to come to that.

She wearily eyes my bike in the lot across the street.

“I’ll keep you safe. I promise.”

She looks up at me and something passes between us. I’m not sure what it is, but I want to find out. I know I should keep this girl as far away from me as I can, but I just can’t stay away. I’m drawn to her. The same way I think she’s drawn to me. I should tell myself to get on my bike, start riding, and don’t come back.

Starting something with Kate can only lead to trouble.

And that trouble is me.

***

I take the turns very slow, but Kate’s a natural. She’s glued to my back and probably cutting off the circulation in my abdomen, but she leans in on the turns and doesn’t make any jerky movements. She’s a great passenger, considering she was terrified to get on the bike. Once, on a straight stretch of road, I felt her relax a little and even lift her head from my back. Then we’d approached a bend, and she immediately latched back on.

I pull back into the parking lot of her complex and park, holding the bike steady so she can climb off.

“That was so much fun!” Kate squeals as she hops off, taking off the helmet.

“See? I told you.”

“I never said it wouldn’t be fun. I only said it was dangerous,” she points out.

She has a point. “Well I’m glad you liked it.”

“I did!” She jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck, giving me a hug. “Thank you for making me try it.” When the front of her body presses against mine, I freeze. Our eyes catch as she slides down my body and, again, that same something from earlier passes between us. My hands move from her back to her waist and stay there. I can’t seem to let go of her.

This time, I’m certain she feels it, too. I can see it in her eyes. I can feel it in the way her arms grip my biceps and her body remains pressed up against me. I’m lost in her eyes until they dart down to my mouth, and then I’m looking at her mouth…at her lips, shiny from her pink tongue having just swept across them.

I want my tongue to swipe across them.

“Jay,” she says. Her voice is husky with want, and I groan.

“This isn’t a good idea,” I tell her, knowing what she wants but still not letting her go.

“Just a kiss?” she asks, leaning up on her tip-toes and clasping her hands behind my neck. I hadn’t even realized they’d moved from my arms. I’m that lost in her eyes.

“Kate…”

I can kiss her, can’t I? There’s no harm in a kiss. If
it’s
just
a
kiss. It’s everything that comes after the kiss that’ll be trouble. My hands are still on her waist and I squeeze, pulling her firmly against me.

“Jay, please kiss me,” she begs, and my willpower breaks at the sound of her voice.

I lean my head down, briefly brushing my nose against hers before I claim her lips. They’re soft and supple and oh so sweet. I lick the seam of her mouth and she opens on a whimper that instantly makes me hard. She gasps against my mouth just before my tongue presses against hers. She tastes so incredibly sweet, and I wish we were anywhere but here…in a parking lot…where anyone can see us. Then I wish I was anyone but me…a man with a past unworthy of such a pure and perfect woman.

Reality slaps me in the face, and I end the kiss, pulling away from her. Her eyes are glazed over with lust, and her lips are swollen. I want to drag her into her apartment and have my way with her, but I can’t. I won’t. She deserves so much better than me.

“We can’t do this, Kate.” I step away from her and over to my bike, stowing the spare helmet.

“Why not?” she asks, her voice now belligerent.

I turn to look at her, and I want to smile at how cute she looks, pouting with her arms folded across her chest, but I know if I did she’d go all spitfire on me, and I can’t have that. It’ll make it harder to leave…I love it when she gets fired up. After reading those later letters from her, I’d been afraid she’d lost some of her light. But it’s still there. My sunshine is still there.

No, not
my
sunshine.

I let out a sigh. “Kate, you know why. I’m no good for you. There’s no sense in starting something that isn’t gonna be finished. You’ve got potential, and I’ll only bring you down.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!”

“It’s not bullshit. You’re a sweet girl, Kate. You’ll meet a nice guy, and he’ll be just perfect for you.” Just saying the words leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but it’s got to be done. “That guy’s not me.”

“Then why are you even here?”

“I already told you. I wanted to see you and make sure you were okay.”

“You could have picked up the damn phone. You didn’t have to
move
to California.”

I don’t have anything to say to that because she’s absolutely right. I didn’t have to move to California. I could’ve found a way to reach out to her without relocating across the country on some crazy whim like a psychopath. But I had to see for myself that she was okay. And I had to be near her light. Something about Kate just soothes me, and I’d needed to be close to her.

“You know, Jay, I’m not as innocent, or as naïve, as you seem to think I am.” She shakes her head and starts walking past me. When she’s right alongside me, she adds, “And you’re not as bad as you think you are, either.”

I watch as she walks to her building, and I keep watching as she climbs the stairs to her apartment.

“Call me when you get over yourself,” she shouts just before she slips in the door.

I shake my head. She’s not as innocent as I think she is, eh? Well, that might be the case, but I
am
every bit as bad for her as I say I am. Whether she wants to believe it or not.

Guys like me…we’re poison for girls like her.