It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies (6 page)

Zombies yell, Undead smell, heads smashed with rocks,

Human guts swing, and hear them all scream,

Snarling and growling as the humans all run—

Now the Zombie hop has begun.

Zombies yell, undead smell, heads smashed with rocks,

Jingle bells chime in Zombie hell time.

Dancing and prancing, Zombies beware;

They’re in the frosty air.

What a virus! It’s inside us.

They’ll eat our brains all day.

Virus time is a swell time

To get the hell out of here any old way.

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet,

Zombies are on our block.

Mix and a-mingle with their shuffling feet.

Here the Zombies yell,

We’re in undead hell.

Smash their heads with a rock!

He ate Dasher, then Dancer,

Then Prancer and Vixen.

He downed Comet and Cupid

And Donner and Blitzen.

Yes, he ate them all, the most

Famous undead reindeer of all:

Rudolph, the Zombie reindeer,

Caught the virus through his nose.

And if you ever saw him,

You would even say he’s gross.

All of the other reindeer

Tried real hard to get away.

But they didn’t count on Rudolph

Eating them anyway.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,

Santa came to say:

“Rudolph, with your Zombie blight,

Who’s gonna pull my sleigh tonight?”

Rudolph instead just ate him,

Munching Santa’s brain with glee,

Rudolph, the Zombie reindeer,

You changed Christmas history!

Every body pauses and stares at me,

I’m a pile of rotting flesh as you can see.

It looks like a virus caused this catastrophe!

But my one wish on Christmas Eve is to be a Zombie!

All I’ll eat for Christmas

Is your frontal lobe,

Your frontal lobe,

With my two front teeth!

Gee, if I could only

Eat your frontal lobe,

Then more Zombies would spread around the globe.

It seems so long since I’ve been undead;

Sister Susie’s a rotting hag!

Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be,

If only there were more brains to be had!

All I want for Christmas

Is to be a Zombie,

To be a Zombie,

To be a Zombie.

Gee, if I could only

Be a Christmas Zombie,

Then I could eat you

On Christmas Day!

You better watch out,

You better not cry,

Better not shout,

Or he’ll know where you hide—

Zombie Claus is coming to town!

He’s eating a wrist

And chewing it twice;

A little fresh brain with pepper is nice.

Zombie Claus is coming to town!

He eats you when you’re sleeping;

He bites when you’re awake.

He chews if you’ve been bad or good,

So just hide for goodness’ sake!

O, you better watch out,

You better not cry,

Better not shout,

Or he’ll know where you hide.

Zombie Claus is coming to town!

Zombie Claus is coming to town!