Muse - Fighting Fate #1 (5 page)

A pang of disappointment swept through me. I d
idn’t know why. It wasn’t like I wanted anything else from him. Did I? “There’s nothing to do, Jace. It was just one night. Neither of us is ready for anything other than that.”

He blinked, a little taken aback. “And you’re okay with that?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Chapter 6

Jace

“You want to tell me what the fuck’s gotten up your ass?”

Matt’s voice drew me out of the depths of my head. I looked over
to see him smirking at me in amusement. We were half way along on our drive back to Sacramento, and I was enjoying the break from driving. Well, that was until he asked me what was up my ass. “What?”

“Don’t give me that shit. You’ve been all moody and brooding since yesterday. That’s Dean’s gig, not yours.”

Dean grunted from the back seat. “Fuck off.”

I really wasn’t in the mood to have this
conversation, but he was right. I had been in a funk. And it started right after my conversation in the kitchen with Mia.

I should’ve been relieved when she said it was only a one nighter. Real fucking rel
ieved, but the truth was, I was pissed. And the fact that I was pissed just made me even more fucking annoyed because I had no idea why I was so fucking pissed.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

I repressed the urge to glare at him. “I’ve just got something stuck in my head, that’s all. Something new I’ve been working on.”

It wasn’t a lie. I actually did have a tune that kept invading my thoughts ever since Mia had hit me with a metaphorical baseball bat.

Matt’s eyebrows went up a notch. “A new song?”

Dean leant forward in his seat, suddenly interested. “Since when?”

I shrugged. It wasn’t like I’d actually put it to paper or anything. “I guess since I was hit by an avalanche.” Avalanche Mia.

“Cool. Play us some,” Dean said. “Babe,
pass the acoustic.”

I turned to see Lila reaching over the back to grab Dean’s guitar. He fed it through to the front, so I pushed the chair back and turned sideways in my seat to make room. Somehow
I knew what chords I needed without putting too much thought into it. It’d always been like that for me. I strummed it out slowly, making sure I had it right, then ran through it a little faster, making it sound more like how I had it in my head.

By the time I’d run through it for three verses, the chorus just came at me. It was an intense tune and I could almost hear the angst the lyrics would hold
when sung with it. I almost laughed out loud when I thought it was just like an avalanche. Maybe that’s what I would call it. Avalanche. And it would be Mia’s song.

I went back to strumming the verse and looked up to see Dean with a shit eating grin. “That sounds fucking awesome
, man. You need help with the lyrics?”

Dean had written most of our lyrics. He had a way of turning our direct and crass words into lyrical poems that had depth and meaning.
I seriously doubted we would’ve made it if wasn’t for his lyrical talent. All our songs would’ve been about chicks on their knees, or bent over a table, or something just as crude.

This song
though, this song was a little different. All the previous songs I’d written had been about living life and having fun without giving a fuck. This one felt like it had a little piece of me in it, and I didn’t want to share that with anyone. I just wanted it to be my own.

“Nah, I want to give this one a go myself. This one kind of matters to me.”

“Awesome, man,” Matt said. “I can’t wait to slam it out with you. I can almost hear the beat that would tank that shit.”

I grinned. No doubt he could. Matt
was a fucking magician with his kit.

I played tunes for the next hour, until we pulled over in Reno for gas. Aiden pull
ed in behind us, and I couldn’t help watching Mia as she stretched beside the car. My dick instantly twitched. The memory of her soft little body and how it felt underneath me was still as vivid as if it only happened an hour ago.

I decided to take the opportunity to go to the bathroom
before I embarrassed myself. I had no idea why this thing with Mia was messing with my head, but I decided to put it down to guilt. Guilt for sleeping with my best friend’s sister, and guilt for taking her innocence. That’s all it was, and there was nothing I could do to change it, so I just needed to man up and get the fuck over it. If Mia could be okay with it then I sure as shit could be too.

Everyone was gathered by Aiden’s car when I managed to stride back. For some reason I felt
self-conscious, like I was an open book and everyone just knew what I was thinking. I shoved my hands deep in my pockets and lowered my head a little.

“Dean tells me you’ve got some new material,” Aiden said as I walked up.

I nodded, not really wanting to talk about it.

“Cool. We’re going to chill at Dean’s when we get back, so maybe we can play around with it a bit.”

“Yeah, sure.”

We quickly filled up and got back on the road. It was Dean’s turn to drive the next stretch, so Matt and I jumped in the back and reclined the seats, trying to grab some shut eye
for the remaining two hours of the trip.

It was almost ten by the time we pulled up at Dean’s. You would think after fifteen hours in a car we would all be ready to climb into bed, but we weren’t. Maybe it was the red bull. Maybe it was just because we knew we were finally home. Whatever it was though, we were wired.

We mucked around for a bit while Aiden took Mia home. Matt shot off a few texts, and by the time Aiden was back, the house was starting to fill up with people.

Apparently
we were having a party.

We didn’t end up mucking around with my new song. Instead, we ripped out all our
other ones, as well as a few covers for our friends.

When we decided to call it quits and just plug in Matt’s iPod, I
grabbed a beer and followed Aiden outside for some fresh air. I was there for a total of ten seconds before Kacey came sliding on up to me. I groaned internally. Maybe I just needed to do it. Maybe this was the way to get over my guilt.

Putting my hand on her lower back, I bent down and whispered in her ear. “Want to go find some privacy?”

She beamed up at me, and I was suddenly pulling her through the crowd towards the bedrooms. I took her to the closest one, which just happened to be Dean’s room, and closed the door behind us.

I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her hard. She giggled against my mouth, annoying me, so I kissed her harder, trying to shut her up. My hands found her hips and I pulled her against me. Her lips parted, her tongue seeking out mine, and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

She tasted like some sickly sweet raspberry drink she’d been having, and I had to force myself not to pull away from it. I moved my hands under her top, running them over her ribs, but instead of turning me on, it only reminded me how different she was from Mia. Kacey was too much skin and bone. I could feel every rib with ridiculous detail.

Shit. I didn’t think I could do this.

I was just about to push her away, when the door flew open. Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. “Man, you know my room’s off limits. Get the fuck out and go find somewhere else.”

He didn’t need to ask me twice. I gave Kacey a look which I hoped was apologetic in appearance before following her out
. Instead of heading for another bedroom though, I walked back towards the party. “I’m just going to grab a beer.”

She gave me a kiss with a touch of tongue before letting me go. I made for the kitchen, but instead of going to the fridge, I walked straight out the back door and kept going.

Chapter 7

Mia

Apparently
spending twelve hours overthinking a situation can turn you a little loopy, because by the time I arrived at school on Monday morning, I was completely flipping out over seeing Jace again. It was an incredibly ridiculous notion because prior to our little romp, we didn’t ever see each other at school anyway. Well, besides that one class I had with him anyway.

I was hesitant to admit it, but
it wasn’t the thought of there being any awkwardness between us. It was the thought of seeing him flirting with other girls.

Yes, I was turning into one of
those
girls.

The second Aiden pulled the car into a space, Kaeli was at my door. “Did you see it?” she
asked me quietly.

I looked over at Aiden who was smirking at me over the roof of the car. He gave me a little wave
that wasn’t a wave. “See you this arv, baby girl.”

I watched him saunter off before turning my full attention to Kaeli. “
See what?”

She looked around cautiously before speaking. “
Kacey’s post.”

Something sour turned in my stomach. She was talking about Facebook. Not knowing where my voice had gone, I gave her a look to continue.

“It more or less says she slept with Jace last night.”

Something inside me suddenly felt heavy.
I knew I had no right to feel cheated, but I did. Keeping my expression even, I shrugged. “We’re not dating, Kaeli. He can sleep with whoever he wants to.”

She frowned. “Yeah, I know, but it just feels wrong. There should be some sort of time period guys should stick to after sleeping with someone before moving onto the next. It’s called respect. I mean, I can totally see why he wouldn’t with all the other girls, but you’re different. You deserve the respect.”

I smiled at her reasoning. “And you’re a little biased.”

She huffed. “Maybe a little, but I’m also right.”

We made our way to our lockers, which were in a small group around the corner from all the other lockers (a request made by my mom to help prevent any anxiety attacks) and I grabbed my books for my first two periods.

“You sure you’re okay?” Kaeli asked quietly.

I gave her a smile I hoped was reassuring. “I’m fine. I’ll see you at lunch.”

With a little smile and a nod we parted ways, Kaeli using the halls, and me using
another one of my preventative measures by slipping out the side door and walking along the path that went around the outside of the building instead. Going that way was an absolute pain in my ass because I had to allow an extra five minutes to get to class, but it was better than the alternative.

Unfortunately
for me and my fragile peace of mind, Kacey was in my first class, and I had to sit within listening distance of her talking to Violet. About Jace.

“Oh my god. He was so good. The things that boys can do with his tongue should be outlawed,” she was saying.

I felt sick. How did that girl always seem to make me spew a little bit in my mouth?

“So, are you guys like exclusive now or what?” Violet asked her.

Kacey laughed. “God no. You know Jace. He’s a complete manwhore. No one’s getting that boy exclusively.”

“I’m going to go for it,” Violet said suddenly.

“What?” Kacey whispered.

“Jace. I’m going to get him to sleep with me at the next party.
May as well get in before he’s famous. I wish I had’ve thought of that before Josh left. Imagine the publicity I could’ve gotten if I’d had him.”

I frowned. Josh? What-

My eyes widened. Was she actually talking about Joshua Emerson?

Shit. She was!

Before Aiden and I had moved here at the beginning of our freshman year, Josh had been a part of the guy’s group of friends. When Aiden arrived, they took one look at him standing up to the school’s bully and decided he was worthy of their group. Needless to say, I was jealous it’d only taken him one day to find a place he fit, but I’d been happy for him.

I still remember
him coming home that afternoon and telling us all about them. Josh in particular. He’d been seriously impressed that Josh had wanted to be an actor, and that he’d already been doing some small bit parts in a few Disney movies.

It was about halfway
through our freshman year when Josh landed his first starring role, and his family decided it was for the best if they moved down to L.A., leaving the guys feeling a little lost without him. It wasn’t long after that that they’d decided to form the band - even though none of them had ever even picked up an instrument before.

Josh had gone on to become a big household name since then, recently wrapping up filming his
first big budget film.

“Yeah, I know,” Kacey replied.
“I’ve heard his family have moved back to town, so if there’s a chance I could happen to run into him, I’m taking it.”

Now I really did think I was going to be sick. What the hell was wrong with these girls?

When the class finally finished, I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Such a mixture of emotions was rampaging through me, I had no idea what was what. I didn’t even remember the walk to English. Mr. Hervey eyed me with annoyance when I walked in late, but I was always late because I had to walk around the building. It had taken my mom to come yell at the principal before he accepted my excuse as legitimate. I still don’t think he believed me, but he didn’t have a choice in the matter now.

English was the one class I had with Jace, and after hearing what Kacey and Violet had to say, I
really didn’t want to see him at that point in time.

I could feel him watching me as I moved towards my desk.
It was like his gaze had some sort of magnetic pull in it or something, because it took more strength than I thought it would to avoid him, but I did it.

Mr. Hervey was already handing out the results of the exam we had the week before as I took my seat. He didn’t meet my eyes when he put down my A+ paper. I think it annoyed him no end that I was an A+ student. As far as he was concerned, I was lazy because I couldn’t be bothered to show up on time. He was an idiot.

Of course because it was the one class I wanted to fly by, it dragged. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or not, but I felt like Jace’s eyes were constantly on me. I tried to distract myself by immersing myself in my work, but that only resulted in twice as many pages written than was required. Looked like I had a lot of editing to do.

By the time I met Kaeli for lunch, I was a massive ball of tension. We took our stuff out to our regular spot on the grass and sat in the sun.

Kaeli shook her head in annoyance when I relayed Kacey’s and Violet’s conversation in Biology. “What skanks. Seriously.”

We looked out across the green to where the guys were sitting, surrounded by
dozens of people, most of them girls. They all loved it though. Even Dean to a certain extent. Feeling annoyed again, I turned myself around so I couldn’t see them anymore.

We ate in silence for a while, before Kaeli murmured about something being interesting.

“What?”

“Jace. He keeps looking over here.”

My heart jumped a little on hearing that. I knew it shouldn’t, but it did. “Really?”

She bit her lip with thought. “I wonder why.”

I did too, but I wasn’t going to admit that. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t really want to talk about Jace anymore. Or any of the guys for that matter. Let’s talk about something else.”

“I was thinking about making
profiteroles for my dessert dish in hospitality,” she said quickly. It came out sounding like a question, and I knew she was secretly asking if the topic was okay.

I smiled. “What flavor
filling?”

***

The rest of the week went roughly along the same lines. Everywhere I went some girl was talking about the band and her ambition to sleep with one of the guys. On Thursday, it all multiplied out of control when a reporter from a music magazine came to run a story on them. The guys all took it in their strides of course, but all the girls that hadn’t yet realized just how well on the way the guys were seemed to come out of the woodwork.

By Friday afternoon, I was ready to gouge my eyes out with a spork and claw at my ears until t
hey bled after seeing and hearing all the slutty come-ons aimed at the guys all day. As much as I disliked Lila, I had to wonder how she put up with it.

I didn’t even have the pleasure of escaping it all when I got home that afternoon
either, because apparently our mom being away for the weekend meant party time at our house.

Yay for me. I guessed I’d be spending the night in my room.