How Do I Love Thee? (9 page)

‘Hope you like lamb,’ she said as she skirted a bench into the kitchen. ‘I’ve made cutlets with a yoghurt and cucumber dressing.’

Cade placed a glistening bottle on the counter. ‘Sounds better than the takeaway chicken I had for lunch. Margaret River chardonnay okay with that, since nobody’s driving?’

Given the distracted way she was starting to feel in his presence, she wouldn’t have risked wine even if she could, but she nodded. ‘Fine.’

She’d set the table next to concertina doors that opened up one wall on to the balcony, so they could enjoy the park view and the balmy evening air. ‘How did you spend your afternoon?’ she asked when they were seated and the food served.

‘Bought the wine. Saw a couple of friends at the local paper, went out to the cemetery,’ he said. ‘The guys at the paper told me where Noreen is buried.’

‘You went to your mother’s grave?’ She couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice.

‘It seemed like the right thing to do.’

‘You’ve never been conventional for the sake of it before.’

‘All right, I wanted to see where she was,’ he growled. ‘Happy now?’

She looked at him over the rim of her water glass. ‘More to the point, are
you
happy now?’

‘It feels like a chapter closing,’ he admitted reluctantly.

‘Even though you never got the chance to read the whole book?’

He downed a third of his wine. ‘Bit late now. I took some flowers, said my goodbyes, there isn’t much else to do.’

She didn’t miss the gruffness in his tone. ‘There is one thing. I could introduce you to a patient at the hospice,
Alice Grollier, who was Noreen’s roommate for the last few months. If there’s anything you want to know …’

‘We’ll see,’ he said shortly. ‘It’s your turn now. What have you done with yourself?’

‘Worked, saved, bought this place, wrote articles for psychology journals, travelled a lot.’

‘No love life?’ he asked, his gaze darkening.

She took a deep breath. ‘I had a holiday romance, got a tummy bug and didn’t know my contraception had failed, came home pregnant.’ His expression of shock told her it was the last thing he’d expected from her.

‘I am human, you know,’ she added quietly.

His gaze turned soft. ‘I never doubted it. Does your family know?’

‘We parted ways after my mother died and my step-father made it clear I wasn’t welcome back. He’d sworn to Mum he’d take care of me, so she left everything to him. Once he had his hands on her house and bank account, I was expendable.’

‘You can’t do this alone,’ Cade said.

Laura shook her head. ‘I don’t plan to. A couple I’ve known for years are keen to adopt the baby. They’ll make far better parents than I would.’

So he was right, she hadn’t changed. Family was still low
on her priorities. He was disappointed to find out how far down. ‘What about the baby’s father?’ he asked.

‘I found out too late that he was already married. That’s twice I’ve let myself be used. It won’t happen a third time.’

‘But adoption …’ His voice trailed off.

She gentled her tone. ‘Sometimes it’s for the best. I won’t put my baby through what I experienced, with a stepfather who only pretended to care about me until he got what he was really after. I’m surprised I have to explain it to you, of all people.’

‘It’s because of how I grew up that your decision doesn’t make sense. Raising your child alone makes better sense. At least he’d have one parent who cared—if it’s a he.’

‘It is a boy, as it happens. When I had the ultrasound I wasn’t going to let them tell me, but I turned my head at the wrong moment and it was all too obvious.’

‘Does he have a name yet?’

‘Only Beanie. His name will be up to his new parents.’

Cade braced his forearms on the table. ‘If it’s a question of money, I can help.’

‘If I wasn’t sure you mean that sincerely, I’d be offended. I’m not rolling in money, but I earn an okay living and there are social security options. We wouldn’t starve. My mother’s experience showed me there’s more to raising a child than food and a roof over our heads. Look how things worked
out for you when your mother tried to give you a male role model. What if I made the same mistake with my son?’

His sense of outrage overwhelmed his common sense and he leaned closer. ‘Then marry me.’

For a moment Laura wished the water in her glass
was
wine, for its steadying effect. ‘What?’

‘You heard me. Marry me. I’ve just made an offer on the land next to Diamond Downs. We could live there, you could work in town if you wanted to, and the boy could grow up with his own mother in a proper family. I could do most of the parenting so you wouldn’t be inconvenienced too much.’

Anger stirred deep within her. Cade hadn’t said one word about being attracted to her for herself. When they were at uni, he’d never asked her out on a real date. Study sessions in the park or the library, and later dinner parties with mutual friends hardly counted, much as she’d enjoyed his company. The depth of attraction she felt for him now made her even angrier, and she recognised the reason. Cade was her stepfather all over again, wanting her only for what she could give him, seeing this as a chance to do his own life over and make things come out right. Well, he wasn’t going to use her child, or her for that matter, as his means.

‘You have it all figured out, don’t you?’ she said. ‘Has it occurred to you that I might have life plans of my own?’

‘Now we get to the nitty-gritty,’ he stated, ice in his tone. ‘You were always ambitious. A baby would certainly cramp your style.’

‘This has nothing to do with my career and everything to do with what’s best for this child. If you can’t deal with that, you can leave right now.’

His expression hardened. ‘I’m not going anywhere. You offered me the bed, and an invitation to meet my mother’s roommate. I’m taking you up on both offers.’

She glared at him. ‘If you’re hanging around hoping to change my mind, forget it. I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth, Cade Thatcher. I consider myself a poor role model for any child, but your arrogance makes me look like an angel.’

‘You’re welcome to your opinion,’ he said mildly. ‘But my offer stands for as long as I’m here. I don’t have anywhere else to be, so that could be a while.’

‘You won’t need long,’ she flung at him. ‘The baby’s due in a couple more weeks, then my decision will be final.’

His eyes betrayed his surprise. ‘You don’t look that far along.’

She was flattered in spite of herself. ‘I haven’t gained an ounce more than I should have.’

‘Are you taking care of yourself? Eating properly?’

She indicated the remains of their meal. ‘Do I seem like I’m neglecting myself?’

He looked chastened. ‘Frankly, you look pretty amazing.’

‘For an almost nine-month-pregnant mature mother, you mean?’

He grinned. ‘I’d hardly call you mature.’

‘No, but the doctors do.’

‘Then they need their eyes tested.’

She felt warmth travel up her face. ‘Keep this up, and I’ll think you’re paying me a compliment, Cade.’

His eyes shuttered. ‘I should have done so when I first saw you again. Not many women look so great, pregnant or not. Nor do they have hair the colour of fire without help from a package.’

This was probably part of his game plan, to break down her reserves and bend her to his will, but she found herself wishing he’d go on. ‘I guess the freckles are a giveaway,’ she said before she could let herself get too carried away.

‘You don’t have freckles.’ He sounded genuinely perplexed.

She laughed. ‘Now who needs their eyes tested? If I spend too much time in the sun, I’m a real speckled hen. Make-up does wonders, but that’s the reality of my colouring.’

‘Do you think Beanie will be a redhead?’ he asked.

She lowered her gaze. ‘I don’t let myself think about such things. If I were keeping him it would be different, but as things are I can’t afford to get too attached.’

‘Afraid you might change your mind?’ he suggested softly.

‘Don’t, Cade. This isn’t fair.’

He shook his head. ‘All’s fair in love and war, remember?’

She wished she knew which he was waging. Most likely war of a kind, since he wasn’t the type to give up easily. It couldn’t possibly be love.

‘Mrs Grollier, I’ve brought someone to meet you.’

Laura led the way into a prettily decorated room with provision for dividing in two with a curtain which was drawn back for now. Cade felt a twinge as his gaze met the empty bed in the far half of the room. The near bed was also empty but a sweet-faced older woman sat in a chair beside it, crocheting something small and fine, her sight assisted by a magnifying device slung from a cord around her neck. ‘Booties for your baby, dear,’ she said to Laura.

Laura admired the handiwork. ‘It’s beautiful. You’re spoiling me.’

‘Don’t have anyone else to spoil,’ the woman said. She put the crochet down and looked at Cade through piercing blue
eyes. If not for the magnifying device, he’d have sworn she could see all the way to his soul. ‘Who’s your handsome friend?’

Cade felt his face heat as he offered his hand. ‘I’m Cade Thatcher, Mrs Grollier. I believe you knew Noreen Thatcher until she passed away recently.’

‘Cade is Noreen’s son, although they didn’t live together,’ Laura supplied. ‘He didn’t know she was here until a few days ago, and arrived too late to see her. I told him you might be able to tell him a little about her.’

Mrs Grollier gave a sympathetic smile. ‘That’s a terrible shame, Cade. Of course I’ll tell you anything I can. But call me Alice. Not often I have such a good-looking young man calling on me.’

‘I’m sure you’ve had more than your share over time,’ Cade said gallantly.

The elderly woman coloured slightly. ‘You sound like my Alan. We were married for nearly fifty years before his heart gave out.’

Cade perched on a corner of the bed, one leg swinging free. Amazed at how charming he could be when he wasn’t weighed down by the colossal chip on his shoulder, Laura moved towards the door. ‘I’ll fetch us some tea.’

He stood up at once. ‘Should you, in your condition?’

‘I’m pregnant, not sick,’ she said over her shoulder as she left the room.

Alice leaned over and patted his hand. ‘It’s hormones, dear. She’ll be fine now you’re here.’

‘But I’m not—’

‘I know you aren’t married, but nobody cares these days,’ Alice interrupted. ‘I can already see you’re good for her.’

To be in this place, Alice must be seriously ill, and Cade didn’t want to do her any harm so he let the comments go. She was also obviously a romantic, seeing what she wanted to see. ‘How well did you know Noreen?’ he asked to distract her.

She unclipped the magnifier from her neck and placed it on the bed. ‘She’d lived a hard life,’ Alice said. ‘I gather she didn’t have much luck with men, not like me and Alan. But she was a fighter right to the end.’

Caught off-guard by the sudden tightening in his throat, Cade coughed. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t get the hospital’s letter sooner.’

Alice smiled sympathetically. ‘She talked a lot about you, and how she wished you could have stayed together. Especially when she found out what was going on with you and your stepfather, but it was too late by then.’

‘How would she have found out?’

‘She told me he gloated to her about how tough he’d been with you, and said she’d get the same if she crossed him.’

Cade felt his hands close into fists. ‘I wish I’d been there to prove him wrong.’

‘Your mother was smart enough to wait until he was out cold from drink, then walked out with what she could carry. She told me she teamed up with another man who was working on an old house.’

‘Laura told me about that,’ Cade said.

‘Poor thing. Noreen went from the frying pan into the fire by moving into his house. Some people keep drawing the short straw in life and she was one of them.’

Laura came back carrying a tray with three mugs on it and Cade jumped up to take it from her. She relinquished it with a frown. ‘The coffee’s for you. I thought you’d prefer it to tea.’

‘Thanks.’ He gave a cup to Alice and pulled another chair closer so Laura could sit down. She sat on the edge as if about to take off at any moment. What was she so agitated about? It wasn’t as if he could change her mind about the baby, much as he wished he could. The little he’d already heard about his mother’s life told him Laura would also regret her decision in time. His heart ached at the thought, although whether for her and the baby, or the homeless boy he’d once been, he didn’t know.

‘Right till the end, Noreen kept hoping you’d walk through that door. You must have been a long way away.’

The thought of his birth mother waiting in vain was tempered by recalling the times she hadn’t been there for him. All the same, he couldn’t shake the heavy sensation gripping his heart.

‘I was back in Australia by the time the letter reached me. I’d been on a photographic assignment on an island north of Indonesia. Mail wasn’t very reliable in Uceh.’

Alice’s eyes brightened. ‘My goodness, I haven’t heard that name in a long time.’

His head lifted. ‘Not many people know where it is.’

Alice smiled. ‘Alan and I were aid workers with our church group in the Hamby Delta in Uceh for nearly five years.’ Sadness clouded her features. ‘My only child was born there.’

Laura paused with her cup halfway to her lips. ‘I didn’t know you had any children, Alice.’

‘Patrick died of dengue fever less than a month after his birth.’

‘I’m so sorry.’ Laura’s voice quavered. ‘That must have been hard for you.’

‘Losing a child isn’t something you forget,’ the older woman said. ‘I still think of him on his birthday every year.’

‘Is that why Noreen felt she could talk to you?’ Cade asked.

‘Probably.’ Alice brightened with an obvious effort. ‘But life’s too short for old griefs. You must tell me what Uceh is like now. I’m sure it has changed a lot since my day.’

‘Not as much as you might think or hope,’ Cade said. He was aware of Laura listening as he elaborated for Alice’s benefit, although he censored some of the grimmer details. He could see Laura was upset by Alice’s revelation. Enough to reconsider her own plans, he wondered? And why did he care so much? When he noticed Alice tiring, he stood up. ‘I should let you get some rest.’