You're Mine Now (21 page)

Erik had parked out of sight of the school. To be on the safe side, he’d swung by the shop and bought an evening paper so that he looked preoccupied in the event that anyone reacted. He also kept his seatbelt on like a responsible man who was just about to turn the ignition key again and continue on his way.

He looked at the clock and then checked the photograph he’d taken of Hedda’s timetable, which was attached to the family fridge with a magnet. Only a few minutes to go.

Then, as if by the touch of a wand, the place erupted with life and movement. Children on bikes and skateboards, bags and noise, hands in the air and shoving and laughter and the odd lonely child who walked with their head down.

He scanned them over the top of his newspaper, like some second-rate detective. He spotted her with a friend. Neither of them was a show-stopper, but they had each other. He waited until they were a suitable distance from the others, to avoid the risk of friends gathering round, and then drove up alongside the girls. He wound down the window on the passenger side and leaned over the seat.

‘Hedda,’ he said, appropriately strained. ‘Do you recognise me? I came to test-drive your father’s car and we took you to the stables.’

She lit up, almost proud of the attention in front of her friend.

‘Your mother called. She’s a bit caught up. I’m not sure how much she’s said to you about your gran.’

‘They don’t know where she is,’ Hedda replied.

‘Exactly. Well, something has obviously come up and your mother called and asked me to collect you.’

He opened the door. Hedda hesitated.

‘I’ll take you to her,’ Erik said.

‘But I…’

‘It’s about your gran.’

Hedda looked at her friend.

‘See you later then, okay?’

She got into the car.

‘Put the seatbelt on, please. I don’t want us to have any accidents.’

Hedda pulled on the seatbelt, happy and proud of the attention, but also the fact that she could sit in the front without having to ask.

‘Has she come home?’

‘Who?’

‘Granny. Is she back in her flat?’

‘I don’t know. Have you got your mobile with you?’

‘My mobile?’

‘I haven’t got your mother’s number saved in mine.’

‘I know it off by heart,’ Hedda told him with pride. ‘Zero, seven, three…’

‘I don’t have any battery left,’ Erik interrupted, and held out his hand to Hedda. ‘Can I borrow yours?’

She gave him her mobile.

‘Thank you,’ he said, and put it in his inner pocket.

Hedda looked at him.

‘Aren’t you going to phone?’

‘Not while I’m driving. It’s dangerous. And you don’t want us to crash, do you?’

‘No.’

Erik smiled and turned left on to the main road.

‘Are we not going to Granny’s?’

‘We’re going to Kullaberg. Have you been to Kullaberg?’

‘Loads of times,’ Hedda said, world-weary. ‘Is Granny there?’

The police sniffer dog, Nalle, a sociable Labrador, picked up the scent of body fluids and a body in both the kitchen and bathroom.

‘Are you absolutely certain?’ Karlsson asked. ‘The dog can smell it despite all the chlorine and other things?’

‘The dog doesn’t lie,’ the handler said. ‘Nalle is the best dog I’ve ever worked with.’

Karlsson sighed.

‘Well, well, we’d better call forensics then.’

‘And another dog,’ the handler said. ‘For the court.’

‘Two independent dogs,’ Karlsson said, and turned to Gerda, who was standing out in the hall counting unmade removal boxes.

‘Six,’ he said. ‘I think they’re sold in packs of ten.’

‘So four are missing?’ Karlsson calculated. ‘Do you think he carried her out in parts?’

Gerda shrugged. Karlsson went over to the window, folded his hands behind his back and looked out over the sound.

‘Trouble and strife,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with people. Oi, oi, oi.’

His phone rang. He fished it out of his inner pocket and answered.

‘Karlsson.’

He listened and mumbled short, single-syllable words to confirm that he was taking in all the information he was being given.

‘We’re on our way,’ he said, and finished the conversation.

He turned back to Gerda.

‘They’ve found her.’

‘You’d thought of knocking on his door?’ Anna asked. ‘At Mölle, had you really?’

She was sitting at her own kitchen table. Trude had ushered her to a chair and was making some tea.

‘Yes,’ she said, as she put two mugs down on the table.

‘But you’re married.’

Anna stopped herself and sighed.

‘But then, so am I.’

‘You can’t just sit in your chamber waiting,’ Trude said. ‘That way nothing ever happens. You weren’t to know he was mad. You don’t usually notice that sort of thing until it’s too late.’

‘It was the first time. And the last. Never again.’

‘I wouldn’t be so categorical. Imagine if he’d been normal. Judging by what I heard from the room, you were certainly enjoying yourselves. At that point, I mean.’

‘Your husband,’ Anna ventured. ‘What does he say?’

‘What he doesn’t know won’t harm him.’

‘But that’s terrible.’

‘A terrible burden, you mean?’ Trude said, and thought about it. ‘Yes, sometimes. The rest of the time it’s absolutely perfect. If it wasn’t for my little adventures, I’d have left him years ago. I need to feel alive, can’t bear all this sitting-on-the-sofa-watching-telly bliss. It’s not enough.’

‘But you want that as well?’ Anna asked.

‘Yes, of course. I love him more than anything else in the world. But it’s not about that.’

‘The attention?’ Anna said.

‘The sex,’ Trude replied, and took a sip of tea. ‘Sex is my hobby, all my dreams are erotic. As soon anyone says, “If you only had one month to live”, I visualise myself surrounded by gigolos there to satisfy my every desire. Or I’m just afraid of getting old. I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist.’

She looked at Anna.

‘Attention,’ she said, and snorted. ‘I get enough of that from my husband. Why, do you think I’m bad?’

Anna shook her head.

‘I’ve never thought that. I think you’re fantastic. Perhaps a bit too beautiful. You frighten off men and have to make do with the dregs.’

‘That’s fine,’ Trude said. ‘That often makes them more skilled and grateful.’

‘Do you know what my mother says?’ Anna continued. ‘She says that you should watch out for moralists as they’re usually immoral.’

She laughed briefly and then looked around, distraught. She wanted to think about something else, not venture into deep waters, but fear is like a tide, it closes in relentlessly with every wave. She looked at the kitchen clock.

‘I have to ring Hedda to see if she wants to eat here.’

‘Has something happened to Granny?’ Hedda asked.

Erik took his eyes off the road.

‘I shouldn’t think so,’ he said. ‘Why would something have happened to her?’

‘Her mobile phone was in a rubbish bin at Väla and no one knows where she is.’

‘Strange,’ Erik agreed.

Hedda nodded.

‘Can I have my phone back?’

‘But I’m going to ring your mum.’

‘You can borrow it again later.’

‘You can’t phone now,’ Erik said.

‘Why not?’

‘Because we’re talking. Don’t you know it’s rude to talk on the phone when you’re with someone else? That would mean you don’t like my company.’

He sent her a friendly, accusing look.

‘Don’t you like my company?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, I don’t think you do. Because if you did like my company, you wouldn’t need to phone anyone. Who do you want to talk to so much?’

‘Mum.’

‘But we’re going to meet your mum. I’m going to call her and she’ll come to meet us.’

He nodded to himself and only after a while did he notice that Hedda’s eyes were shiny.

‘Do you want an ice cream?’

‘It’s cold.’

‘You can still eat ice cream.’

‘I want to see my mum.’

‘I can turn in here and buy an ice cream. Would you like that?’

Hedda’s phone started to ring. Erik took it out of his inner pocket and looked at the screen.

‘I better take this,’ he said. ‘It’s for me.’

He pressed to answer.

‘Hello,’ he said, smooth and relaxed.

There was silence at the other end.

Anna looked the screen. Had she dialled the wrong number? No.

‘Hello?’ she repeated, and felt her pulse racing.

‘Hello, Anna.’

‘Who am I talking to?’

She was clutching at straws.

‘You know.’

‘Where is Hedda? I want to talk to Hedda!’

‘We’re on an outing. I’m going to show her the cliffs we went to. You remember?’

Anna couldn’t make a sound. Her voice box was simply not functioning.

‘Hello?’ Erik said.

‘Listen to me,’ Anna screamed. ‘No matter what’s happened, despite everything. Not Hedda, do you hear me? Not Hedda, for God’s sake, not my daughter.’

She had got up from the chair and was leaning over the table in an awkward position. Trude looked at her aghast, her eyes open wide.

‘You don’t need to worry, we’re having a nice time.’

‘Erik, let me talk to my daughter. Give her the phone!’

‘Say hello to Mummy.’

Anna heard her daughter’s voice faintly in the background.

‘I want to talk to her.’

‘I know, come here,’ Erik said. ‘No blue lights. If I see any flashing lights I’ll grab her hand and jump.’

He hung up.

‘Hello? Erik!’ Anna shouted.

She looked at the phone, pressed
REDIAL
.

‘Yes?’ he answered, unperturbed.

‘Erik, listen to me.’

‘No, you listen to me. Number one: don’t call me, I’ll call you. Keep the line open. If it’s engaged, I’ll take that to mean blue flashing lights. Now, do we understand each other?’

He hung up again.

‘He’s on his way to Kullaberg, he’s going to throw her off the cliffs.’

Anna was already out in the hall and Trude rushed after her.

The tyres screeched as they drove off.

‘Your phone,’ Anna said, having spotted it in the tray by the gearstick.

Karlsson and Gerda were more or less clear about the chain of events now. Everything fitted. The removal boxes that had been bought at Ikea, where Kathrine’s phone had later been found. The strong smell in the flat of the chlorine that Erik had used in a futile attempt to clean up. The chips in the enamel on the bath.

People had started to gather on the pavement and ask questions and the traffic was snarling up due to the double-parked police cars.

‘How do you tell people about something like this?’ Karlsson wondered, hunching up in the increasing wind.

‘You tell it like it is,’ Gerda said. ‘Anything else would just be worse.’

‘Yes,’ Karlsson gave in. ‘I guess you’re right.’

They were walking towards the car. Dusk was already starting to fall.

‘Is the flat guarded?’

‘Yes.’

‘What have forensics found?’

‘They’ve secured blood, hair and splinters of bone from the wastepipe. And something from the kitchen, not sure what it is. Hopefully just spillage from cooking.’

‘We might as well go to her house.’

He rang directory enquiries and was given her home address. They went out to Laröd and rang on the bell. When no one opened, Karlsson got out his mobile phone. He took a deep breath to muster himself before dialling. Anna answered on the first ring.

‘Yes?’

Karlsson regretted not having prepared what he was going to say.

‘Um, hello,’ he started, tentatively. ‘It’s Karlsson. From the police…’

‘I can’t talk.’

She hung up.

Strange. And given the circumstances, very strange indeed. What could be more important? Karlsson looked at his phone. Should he try again?

‘She hung up,’ he said to Gerda.

‘What? Were you disconnected?’

‘No, she hung up. She said she couldn’t talk and hung up.’

‘Strange.’

‘Should I try again?’

‘Yes.’

Just then, the screen on Karlsson’s phone lit up with a number that was unknown to him. He pressed
ANSWER
.

‘It’s me,’ Anna said, in a strained voice. ‘I can’t block my line.’

‘Calm down. I can hardly make out what you’re saying.’

‘He’s taken Hedda.’

‘Who?’

‘My daughter. Erik has got my daughter. He’s on his way to Kullaberg. He said no blue lights. If he hears any sirens he’ll throw her off the cliffs. Or if my phone’s engaged.’

‘Where are you?’

‘On my way there. My colleague’s driving. We’re nearly at Höganäs. If he tries to call and my phone’s engaged he’ll assume I’m talking to the police.’

‘Do you know where on Kullaberg?’

‘He showed me some cliffs up by the lighthouse. We went there when we first met. It’s right out on the edge, with only the sea below. No sirens. If he sees the police he’ll throw her over the edge. Or if he hears a helicopter. He’ll do it, I know he’ll do it.’

‘Wait, stay on the line.’

Karlsson ran to the car.

‘Kullaberg,’ he said, ‘Now, like a bat out of hell.’

He put the phone to his ear again, pulled on the seatbelt with his free hand. He was forced to tense his body when Gerda put his foot to the floor and turned on the sirens.

‘No noise,’ Anna screamed.

‘We’ll turn it off in good time. We’re in Laröd, in a civilian car. Take it easy. We’ll soon be there. Talk to him. I have to go, we need to get people.’

‘No police cars. Promise me, no blue lights.’

‘Isn’t it beautiful?’

Erik had stopped by the viewing point. Below them, Mölle lay sleeping under a damp, bluish-grey winter blanket, waiting for the short, intense flowering of summer. The wind was blowing in from the sea and dark was falling fast.

‘I want to go home,’ Hedda said in a thin, pleading voice. ‘To my mum.’

‘Your mum’s coming here,’ Erik said. ‘She’s on her way, she’ll be here any minute now. I’m going to show you something I showed her a few weeks ago.’

He shifted into gear and wound his way up past the golf course towards the lighthouse.

‘It’s fantastic,’ he said.

‘I want to have my phone.’

‘You’ll get your phone. As soon as I’ve shown you the view.’

They came to the parking place up by the lighthouse. Erik opened the door and had to hold on to it so the wind wouldn’t blow it wide open. Hedda stayed demonstratively where she was.

‘I don’t want to see the view,’ she said.

Erik closed the door and smiled, in an attempt to recapture the trust between them.

‘It’s not dangerous,’ he said.

Hedda was trembling with tears that were welling up inside. Erik gently stroked her cheek.

‘Have you seen
Titanic
?’

Hedda looked at him.

‘The film, I mean,’ Erik explained.

Hedda nodded.

‘You know the bit when they’re standing right out on the prow, do you remember that?’

‘Mm.’

‘Well, it’s like that. It won’t take long. A minute or so, then you’ll get your mobile phone back. Your mum loved it. You can stand there and scream into the wind. Everything you’ve got. It feels great afterwards, all the bad things are gone. Your mum wanted me to show you, she asked me to take you here. When she comes you can tell her that you’ve seen it already. It’s not dangerous, I’ll hold on to you.’

‘Promise.’

Erik smiled at her, stroked her cheek once more.

‘I promise,’ he said, and opened the car door again.

‘I repeat, no blue lights, no sirens.’

Karlsson was thrown against the window as Gerda took the roundabout by Viken at such speed that the car nearly lifted up on to two wheels.

‘Silent after Krapperup,’ Karlsson continued, when the car had stabilised again. ‘He’s threatening to throw the girl off the cliffs if he sees the police.’

‘Silent after Krapperup,’ the emergency switchboard repeated.

‘And nothing in the air. I’ll ring again.’

Karlsson finished the call and phoned Anna on the number he’d been given.

‘Where are you?’

‘Nearly there, we’ve passed the golf course,’ she said. ‘We’ll be there any minute.’

‘Don’t challenge him. Talk to him, get him to relax.’

‘I can see the car,’ Anna screamed.

The wind kept blowing and increased in strength when it whipped up the cliff face. It tugged and pulled at their hair and clothes.

‘Close your eyes,’ Erik said, with a steady hold on Hedda’s shoulders. ‘Don’t look. I’ll hold you.’

He guided her in front of him.

‘I’m scared.’

‘You don’t need to be. I’m here, I’ll look after you. We’ll do it together.’

He took her right to the edge.

‘And now hold your arms out like in the film.’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘Straight out, don’t be silly.’

She obeyed reluctantly.

‘Now you open your eyes,’ Erik said.

Hedda had been looking the whole time. She was standing on the very edge of the cliff. It was already dark, but she could see the waves exploding on the rocks below and throwing cascades of white foam high into the air.

‘I don’t want to,’ she said, and reversed back into Erik, who didn’t budge.

‘Can you feel the freedom?’ he asked, and held her shoulders hard. ‘It’s only when you’re here you really understand everything. How meaningless it all is. Our short lives. What we do and don’t do. How we think, everything we learn, engage in, our feelings. God, our feelings. So petty and unimportant.’

Erik turned her round.

‘We barely exist. The waves down there, they’ll continue. Long after we’re gone.’

‘I don’t want to be here.’

‘Hedda. Look at me. See me.’

She stared at him, frightened.

‘I’m talking, I’ve got something to say.’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘You’re an insignificant little girl. You listen to what I’ve got to say, do you understand?’

She nodded in terror. Erik smiled like a patient teacher who had given his student a talking to and was now generously going to take them back into the fold.

‘Do you want your mobile phone back?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then I want you to scream.’

Hedda didn’t understand.

‘Turn round, look out to sea and scream. With all your might, as loud as you can. Scream as if your life depended on it.’

‘I can’t scream.’

‘You can’t scream?’

‘No.’

‘Your mum screamed. She screamed all the time. Here and other places.’

‘I don’t dare. Please, I don’t want to. I want to go.’

‘You can go. As soon as you’ve screamed, you can go. I’ll give you back your mobile and we can go. How old are you?’

‘What?’

‘You’ve got an age. How old are you?’

Hedda didn’t understand.

‘Ten,’ she said, hesitantly.

‘Ten years old,’ Erik repeated, and nodded. ‘You’re a child. An insignificant girl of ten. Do you know why I took you here?’

‘I want to go home.’

‘Do you understand why? Do you understand what it will cost, what I’m prepared to do? What a sacrifice I’m being forced to make?’

He hit her over the cheek. Hedda couldn’t get a word out. The shock of his slap made her shake. Erik got down on his knees in front of her, stroked her skin.

‘I didn’t mean to. You…’

He hugged her hard, pressed his cheek against her stomach, looked up with pleading eyes.

‘Your mother fooled me, got me to believe. She used me. Do you know how it feels to be used? When someone pretends to be your friend, without being one? Imagine if you came home from school and your mum didn’t ask how your day was. Instead she sighed as if she thought you were just a nuisance. Would you like that? I don’t think you’d like that. That’s what it’s like for me. Just like that. Your mother sighs when she sees me. Not at first. At first she came to me. Came to my room at the hotel. To my flat in town. Everything was fine and she couldn’t get enough. Then one day it all changed. And I hadn’t done anything. She’d just got tired of me, regretted it.’

He laughed, suddenly aware that he was talking to a child.

‘You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?’

‘I don’t want to be here, I want to go home.’

Erik took her hand, held it hard.

‘Then your grandmother came. She wanted something as well. Everyone’s the same, they all want something and I’m expected to give. To always be there, to never say no.’

Hedda was crying silently, gulping in the air.

‘Always ready,’ Erik continued, with empty eyes. ‘Mum said I should be happy for what I’ve got. That there was nothing strange about it.’

He shook his head for himself, looked up at Hedda.

‘I want you to jump with me.’

‘No.’

‘I want you to punish your mother for what she’s done. Like I paid for my mother’s sins, you’re going to pay for hers.’

Hedda tried to pull back her hand. He was too strong. They both heard a noise and turned. The headlights from a car swept into the parking place and stopped with the beam pointing straight at them. The doors were thrown open.

‘Hedda!’

Anna ran towards them. Hedda tried to wrench herself free, but Erik held on to her without any problem. He swung her round towards the cliff edge and turned to face Anna.

‘One step closer and I’ll let go.’

Anna stopped, held up her hands in a submissive gesture. The light from the car shone from behind her so she looked almost saintly.

‘Please, Erik, listen to me.’

He shook his head, gave a nervous, accusing laugh.

‘You sent your mum.’

‘I didn’t.’

‘You sent your mum, she threatened me. Said that she knew and would tell. I tried to talk to her, really tried. She refused to listen.’

‘Erik. No matter what’s happened. Not Hedda. Do you understand what I’m saying? You can’t, not a child.’

Erik swallowed nervously and shifted his feet. He dragged Hedda away from the edge and held her in front of him instead.

‘Let her go,’ Anna said, gently, and took a step towards them. ‘Let her go.’

Erik didn’t know how to get out of the situation.

‘You fooled me,’ he said in an accusing tone. ‘You made me believe.’

‘I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done. But for God’s sake, not my daughter.’

She took another step towards them, and Erik backed away instinctively, his foot was over the edge and he almost stumbled before regaining his balance. Anna stood with outstretched arms and an open mouth, frozen in terror. Erik pulled himself together first.

‘Stop, or I’ll jump. Back off.’

Anna took a step back, bumped into Trude. They both moved back. Anna still had her hands out in front of her in an attempt to calm the situation.

‘Erik, I beg you. Let her go. She has nothing to do with us.’

He nodded frantically.

‘Exactly,’ he said. ‘It’s you and me. Why won’t you see that? We’re made for each other. You can’t deny that it’s us, you and me.’

Anna nodded.

‘Let her go. I’ll do whatever you want.’

‘Your mum,’ Erik said. ‘She didn’t understand, refused to see the obvious. She thought that we, you and me… A work do, she said, made it ugly. I tried to get her to understand, she laughed. She forced me, she didn’t give me any choice. But everything’s good now.’

He nodded to himself several times.

‘My mum, yours,’ he said. ‘It’s the same for both of us, the same. We can start again, you and me.’

He was talking to himself, he wasn’t looking at Anna any more, shaking his head uncontrollably.

‘Erik, listen to me. Erik.’

He looked up. Anna swallowed.

‘Let Hedda go. Then we can talk.’

Erik gave her a strange look, as if he’d just woken up and didn’t understand what she was talking about.

‘Let her go.’

Erik looked down at his arms and discovered Hedda in front of him. Almost surprised, he let go of the girl. Hedda pulled herself clear and ran towards Anna, throwing herself into her arms. Keeping their eyes fixed on Erik, Hedda and Anna backed away. Slowly to begin with, tentatively, but when there was enough distance, they turned and ran. Only when they reached the car did they see that Erik was still standing there holding his arms out towards them, in a theatrical parting.

‘Mummy,’ he cried, and fell to his knees.

He braced his hands on the ground and crawled towards the cliff. It looked like he was praying before he stood up and threw himself over the edge.