Writing with Stardust: The Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers and writers (8 page)

It was a whirruping waterfall. At this distance, it looked like silver tear tracks on the wrinkled face of the mountain. It was tiered and plunged into the depths of a paradise-blue pool. As I began to get closer, the noise of the cataract increased. It was growling and rumbling. Then it foamed into lather at the base. The waterfall seemed to fuse itself into distinct threads of watery fabric as I approached. It was as if a loom of liquid silver was pouring down the rocks. The sound was cacophonous now. The spout was hitting the cavernous hollow of the pool like a thunderclap. It rushed down the mountain, roiling and bubbling, boiling and churning. The pool fed two other smaller waterfalls, but they were not as deafening.

I walked along the edge of the rocks, leaving the swollen noise of the large pool behind. The sounds changed to a gentler swoosh-plunk and hiss-plop. It was still a salvo of sound, but it had a gentler slushiness to it. The two waterfalls streamed into one infinity pool of bliss. From it, the last spillway flowed, as smooth and fluvial as silver dew. It spilled over the gravelly bed with the honeyed sensuality of a lover’s kiss. It was chiming as it slid, svelte and slinky, past my feet. The chinking, tinkling sound was caused by its languid slickness echoing from rock. It looked like the sleek robe of a water witch as its glassy brilliance pinged and plinked. Its edges were seamed in silver and glinted in the aureate light.

Just then, the sun came out. Its rays caught the watery slide, giving it a trance-like quality. It turned it a-glitter, like shreds of silky silver. The airy sparkling of its spray was magical. It looked like a spritz of fairy dust, flickering in the slanted light. It had the dreamy and illusory façade of a Renaissance painting and the same shimmering sorcery a mirage brings. The drizzling spray created a filmy mystique above the pool, dazzling me with its beauty. It gurgled from the depths and tinkled on the surface, swishing with a sylph-like melody.

The noise subsided as I walked away. It became a distant humming again. I ventured one look back over my shoulder. The willowy waterfall flashed silver one more time. Its soul-swelling magic followed me all the way home.

                            
SIMILES

A
simile
is a comparison of two things using the words ‘as’ or ‘like’. A comparison without those words would make it a metaphor again. A simile can be a highly effective tool when it is used properly. It is the ‘silver bullet’ in your armoury of literary techniques in many ways. This is because it enables a student to fuse two opposing or similar ideas into one sentence. That is the essence of figurative language and it can be the difference between a bland essay and a delightful one. Similes, just like metaphors, may range in complexity from a basic idea to higher ordered thinking.

A clear example of this is if you ask a mixed ability class to visualise a silver moon suspended over a calm sea. Then ask them to create the best simile they can to describe the moon’s light. Assuming they have had some experience in using the book’s formulas, you are likely to get an ascending order of thinking. It does not mean that the similes get any better. As I stated previously, in simplicity lies genius. It does mean, however, that the similes show more complexity as they move through the gears of thought. Underneath is an example.

1. Its beams hit the sea
like lines of silver fire
.

2. Its rays pierced the sea
like spears of glittering silver
.

3. Lances of light spilled across the sea
like silver tracers of fire.

4. Its ghostly light shimmered on the water, silvering the sea
like rippling aluminium
.

5. The moons wraith-like light arrowed down
as eerily as a scene from an old fable
.

6. The moon’s light was
as silver as diamond flame
, turning the sea a-glow
like melted
platinum
.

It can be seen from the examples above that there are higher levels of thought evident in sentences four, five and six. It is debatable if they are more or less impactful than sentences one, two and three. It can be argued that the last three sentences are too long and cumbersome for a lot of readers. Both sets of sentences fulfil their main function, however. They merge and meld two opposing ideas into one sentence using ‘as’ or ‘like’.

The final point is that similes are meant to be inventive. If, for example, a student was describing an old man, it would be rewarding if they could describe him in three similes like this: “The lines of life were written on his face
like a faded book
. Although his memories were
as cloudy
as his eyes,
his
desire to live burned
as bright as star flame
”. It takes a lot of time, patience and practice to reach that economy of words with a student. Once they have mastered the art of the simile, they will knit their own beauty into the tapestry of writing. The ethereal beauty of an original simile enriches us all.

                       THE FOREST

                                                
COLOUR

LEVEL 1         LEVEL 2         LEVEL 3         LEVEL 4         LEVEL 5          OTHERS

1. The bamboo-brown forest was a
leafy paradise
.

2. The teak-brown forest was a
woody heaven
.

3. The conker-brown forest was a
botanic wonderland
.

4. The beech-brown forest was a
sylvan
Shangri la
.

5. The mahogany-brown forest was an
arboreal
lotus land
.

                                                       
SOUND

1. The
aged
trees had creaking branches.

2. The
ancient
trees stretched away from the crinkly floor.

3. The
archaic
trees had clacking boughs and snapping branches.

4. The
arcane
limbs of the tree rustled and shook its crackling leaves.

5. The
antediluvian
trees dripped with delicious, phut-phutting nuts and berries.

                                               
METAPHORS

1. Trees are the castles of the
wood
.

2. Trees are the skyscrapers of the
glades
.

3. Trees are the citadels of the shady
groves
.

4. The sprawling trees are the caretakers of the
copses
.

5. The dendriform trees are the sleeping souls of the
thickets
.

                             
ANIMAL SOUNDS OF THE FOREST

1. Snuffling boar ate under
combs
of feathery moss
.

2. Scurrying squirrels searched for food under
bristles
of wispy moss
.

3. Scuttling rabbits played under
goatees
of hanging moss
.

4. Shambling badgers rooted for food under
whiskers
of whispering moss
.

5. Lumbering bears snorted and clawed under
beards
of dripping moss
.

                                           THE SHAPE OF STARS

1. Luminous petals of silver
freckled
the sky.

2. The stars were like lucid snowflakes of silver as they
sprinkled
the night sky.

3. The stars were like lambent asters of shiny silver as they
speckled
the night sky.

4. The night sky was
stippled
with stars, like luminous pin pricks of glinting silver.

5. The star-
studded
sky was flecked like lucent pentagrams of flashing silver.

                                         
EDIBLES OF THE FOREST

1. Mushrooms grew under the shady
roof
of the forest.

2. Berries lay ripening under the leafy
dome
of the forest.

3. Wild garlic dotted the floor under the
canopy
of the trees.

4. Chickweed flecked the ground under the
wreath
of leaves above.

5. Plantain sprouted up unannounced under the green
garland
of leaf and branch above.

                                              
OTHER IMAGES