What You See (2 page)

I put all my jealous rivalry and nasty thoughts aside and
helped Dad unload the contents of the van. The house was already starting to
look like the deserted shell it was going to be. Boxes were stacked along the
walls; the Persian rug was rolled up; and newspapers and empty boxes were
scattered everywhere.

Lucinda, the housekeeper, met me as I walked in and said,
“You must go be with your sister.” Her tone let me know things were not cozy in
paradise. “She has bad news, and your mama and papa are going to be very sad.
Oh, things are not well.” Lacy, as I always called her, was Puerto Rican and
most of the time I couldn’t understand half of what she was saying, especially
when she was excited. She walked away speaking to herself and then turned to me
and said, “Tell your mama the movers will be here first thing Monday morning
instead of Tuesday.”

I was thrown for a loop. I couldn’t figure out why there were
packing all this stuff so early. Then it dawned on me that they weren’t wasting
anytime. This move was happening ASAP. They hadn’t even sold the house and they
were already out the door.

I followed the sound of voices to the den. Mom and Claire
were seated on the couch, one of the few remaining pieces of furniture left in
the room, and Claire was crying. Mom had her arm around her, trying to lend
comfort, in a way that mothers do best.

Trying not to upset Claire further by jumping right in on the
conversation, I looked at Mom and calmly whispered, “Lacy said to tell you the
movers will be here Monday instead of Tuesday.”

To my astonishment, Claire jumped up and screamed, “Who cares
about movers? Don’t you realize my whole life is falling apart and all you can
think about are movers? Whatever happened to ‘How are you? I missed you. How
are the kids? How’s Carl?’ I can tell you how Carl is. He’s having an affair...
that’s how Carl is. It’s probably that blond bimbo who works in his office.
He’s having an affair and I’m pregnant.”

I felt like someone had just punched me in the gut. I didn’t
know what to say. This news was definitely not what I’d expected and I couldn’t
believe my sister was using that kind of language. I don’t think Claire has
ever uttered a curse word in her whole life, so this must be serious. And she
was going to have another baby! Didn’t she have enough? When is it going to be
my turn?

“Calm down, honey. I’m sure you must be mistaken,” Mom said.

I sat down on the floor, looked up at Claire and said, “I
hate to say this Claire, but if you think something is amiss, it probably is.
Have you come across any clues? He must be acting differently or you wouldn’t
suspect him of cheating. Tell us the details and we’ll try to put your mind at
ease and help you figure out what you can do about it. Where are the kids?”

“They’re upstairs taking a nap. They were so tired from the
trip, Lucinda fixed them a snack and sent them to bed,” she said, losing
herself in thought for a minute. With the stamina of a race horse getting its
second wind, she blurted out to Mom, “What about Lucinda? Is she going to stay
on with you and Dad when you move to the mountains?”

“No,” Mom replied. “She’s going to go live with her
daughter.”

“Not to beat a dead horse, but what’s the deal with you and
Carl?” I asked Claire. “Perhaps you’re mistaken. Maybe your hormones are in the
ozone. You told me on several occasions your hormones go into orbit when you’re
pregnant. Why should it be any different this time? Come back to me with proof
and I’ll help you to nail the rat.”

I laughed
out
loud
. Mom and Claire looked at me as if I had lost my mind. What can I say?
I’m not the most perfect person. I don’t have all the answers. When something
smells bad, I’ve learned that it most likely is bad. I didn’t know what to do
or say, but I did know that someone here had to get it together. Face it—people
tell lies, people steal and people cheat. That’s life, unfortunately.

“Listen, Claire,” I said in the best tone I could muster up.
“I have to get going. I need to do some paperwork, check my roommate’s dog to
make sure she hasn’t wet everything in sight, and see if Becky’s still my roommate.
Maybe she has run off again to reconcile with that jerk of a boyfriend, Tim,
like she has many times before—usually when the rent’s due. Whatever I can do
to help, let me know and I’ll be there for you. I’m not trying to make light of
what’s happening to you. I’m sorry, but until you can tell me something
concrete, I’ll have to agree with Mom. Perhaps you’re just whacked out right
now and you’re not being rational.”

“I found receipts. I wasn’t snooping or anything. I was
getting his suit and shirts together to go to the cleaners and when I went
through the pockets I found a receipt from West Florist and one from
Victoria
’s Secret. I haven’t gotten any
flowers or sexy underwear since I can’t remember when,” she stammered, tears
spilling down her cheeks. She was so upset.

“Ah, sweetie, don’t cry. Everything’s going to be fine. I
just know it will. Go home, take some time to think this over and if you still
feel this way in a couple of days, call me. We’ll go from there.”

“Oh Jesse, you think I could be wrong? Carl is a good husband
and father. He has never done anything before to make me think he was
interested in anyone but me. He’s always telling me how much he loves the kids
and me, and how happy we make him. You’re right. I’m going to do just that.”

She looked at Mom and asked, “Is it okay if the kids and I
stay here tonight?”

“Of course, it is, dear.”

“I really do have to get going. Claire, call me if you need
me. Mom, thanks for the grand tour. I love your new home and can’t wait to
visit again.”

I gave both of them a hug and kiss and said my good-byes. I
saw Dad on the way out. “Everything’s going to be fine. I’m headed home. Thanks
for the trip.” I gave him my usual peck on the cheek and yelled to Lacy, “Bye,
Lacy.” I didn’t wait for a reply.

Backing out of the driveway, I had to chuckle to myself.
Claire always had a way of blowing everything out of proportion or working her
mind into a state of utter chaos. However, that little voice inside me wasn’t
laughing.

On the way home it occurred to me that I hadn’t asked Claire
about her pregnancy. During her last two times, that was all she talked about.
She drove me nuts.

She was depressed and crying because she was fat and ugly or
she was ecstatic because she had chosen a name for the baby.

The ones I liked best were the
midnight
calls concerning her digestive tract and her ever-enlarging
breasts.

I find it tacky to call in the middle of the night and
complain about the discomfort of a B-cup becoming a C-cup. Give me a break. I
made a mental note to call her before she returned home.

Ten minutes later, I parked in my tiny parking space in front
of the duplex I shared with Becky. In actuality, Becky had shared the place
with me for the last six years. I met her when I was doing clerical work for a
moving and storage company. That was several jobs ago for both of us. As I said
before, I haven’t found my niche in life. My current job is office girl for a
company called Whitley Chimney, a small chimney sweep business operated by two
brothers, Kyle and George. They give a whole new meaning to the phrase—tall,
dark, and handsome. You know the kind—6’3", olive skin, shoulder length,
curly black hair, weighing in at 180 pounds each. Fortunately, they’re both
married, which keeps me from making the mistake of trying to mix business with
pleasure.

As I retrieved my belongings out of my ten-year-old Chevy, my
neighbor, Janet came storming out of her apartment. She had that determined
look in her eyes that I had seen on many occasions. Either our trash was
scattered all over the yard, or Becky and I had our music too loud and it had
kept her and her live-in lover up all night. What now?

“What’s going on in that house? You didn’t come home last
night and your roommate left for work Friday and hasn’t been back since. You
have to do something about that dog. You know, I could turn you in to the
landlord. We’re not supposed to have pets,” she spewed, spraying me with spit.
Some people are so nasty.

Wiping the dampness from my face in a gesture that did not go
unnoticed, I replied, “Calm down, Janet. I just got back from an overnight trip
with my parents. Let me get inside the house so I can see what’s going on.” I
brushed past her in a manner I hoped she found offensive.

I couldn’t get the key in the door fast enough. My mind was
racing with thoughts of torn clothing, half-eaten shoes, or worse, pee all over
my bed. Oh, no, my CD’s! I’ll kill that dog. Better yet... I’ll kill Becky!

I opened the door and couldn’t believe my eyes. Everything
appeared to be normal, except for the smell. I dropped my bag on the floor,
threw my keys on the coffee table and called Athena’s name. “Come here, Athena.
Where are you?” I glanced around on the floor and knew instantly the source of
the smell. Athena had done her business in at least four places that I could
see. Immediately, she burst out of the kitchen and jumped on me. I could almost
read her mind, “Feed me. Let me out... please!” I knew she was glad to see me.
Bless her heart, she’s so sweet. She’s two years old and can wreak havoc with
the best of them, considering her puppy days are long gone. I tried to convince
Becky to spend the money to have her fixed, assuring her it was best for the
dog and us, but she complained she couldn’t afford it. If it were my dog,
that’s the first thing I’d do. What about shots? Hey, what am I thinking?
That’s not my concern. I can’t get all hung up on a dog.

I gingerly walked to the kitchen, scooped out a bowl of dog
food from the bag we kept under the counter, and dumped it into her eating
bowl. She gobbled the food down like I do when I sit down in front of a pile of
steamed crabs. I filled her water bowl, grabbed a roll of paper towels and went
about cleaning up dog poop while also checking for more damage.

Amazingly, the first piles I encountered were the only ones.
The smell of urine blasting out at me would have to be dealt with, too. I
figured if I stepped on wet carpet, I would just throw a towel on it... one of
Becky’s. I cleaned up the poop, which was not an easy feat considering I’m the
type of person who gags when I see someone spit on the sidewalk. Plus, I’m not
an animal lover. When we were kids, we had a dog once. Jack was allergic to
dander, so that was our first and last pet. We never considered owning a cat
because Mom thought they were scary animals. They have talons that lash out at
you if you make the mistake of getting too close.

After spraying the house down with a can of room deodorizer,
Athena was ready to go outside and do whatever it was she missed doing earlier.
I let her out and by the time she was scratching at the door ready to come back
in, I had begun to seriously worry about Becky.

Was she all right? Where was she? I got out my address book
and looked up the listings I had under her name for people who might know her
whereabouts. I called her mom in
Hampton
,
but she said the last time she had heard from Becky was two weeks ago. My
mother would be banging down my door if she hadn’t heard from me in three days,
let alone two weeks. Next on the list was her dad. Her parents had been
divorced for several years, but tried to be civilized to each other for the
sake of Becky. Becky was an adult, but she was still their only child. That
meant they were always going to be polite to me because I was Becky’s roommate,
but they didn’t have to like me. Her father once told her that he thought I
needed to get laid more often! What a macho pig! I dialed his number. After
five rings, I hung up.

Athena walked over to me and tried to lick my face. I patted
her on the head and rubbed behind her ears. For some reason, dogs seem to love
that little show of affection. She started to get excited. I had to push her
away; she must weigh eighty pounds. German Shepherds are big dogs, and when
they jump all over you, their paws can dig nasty places in your skin. She lay
down on the floor as I propped my feet up on the coffee table, trying to decide
what to do about this situation. I knew Becky was with Tim. I refuse to let him
take over my apartment again. I will not tolerate him eating my food, controlling
my stereo and my television, leaving his clothes everywhere, making long
distance calls on my phone and not paying for them, and most importantly, I
didn’t want him in my house. All they ever do is fight. I would put my foot
down this time! The minute she got home, we’d have a serious talk, but for now,
I wasn’t going to let this get me down. I wasn’t going to worry about them.

I got up from the couch, grabbed my duffel bag and went to
the kitchen. I needed to do something to take my mind off what was obviously
going to turn into another ugly situation. I gathered my dirty clothes from the
trip and began loading them into the compact washing machine. I had purchased
the washer at a yard sale two weeks earlier for thirty dollars. This brought a
smile to my face. I no longer had to make the weekly trips to the
Wash
and Spin, or when it rained, go over to Mom’s house
and freeload off her. I hated feeling like such a user. We spent many Sunday
dinners together with me doing my laundry. Too bad our kitchen was too small to
accommodate the matching compact dryer. It would’ve saved me from having to
trudge out back to hang the clothes on the line.

I put a pot of coffee on to brew, and then went to the living
room with the intention of calling Mom, when the phone rang.

“Hello,” I answered.

“Hey, you’re home,” Becky said, her voice sarcastic as she
slurred her words. She sounded like someone who’d been drunk for two days. That
only meant one thing—she was back with him. First, she’d be in denial...
denying she was back with him. Then, I’d have a week or so of him dropping in
for long visits. She’d move out again only to return a couple of months later,
bags at her feet, cigarette hanging out of her mouth and elephant tears running
down her face.

I was hot. I could tell this wasn’t going to wait. I jumped
in and said, “Why would you go off and leave your own dog locked up without
food or water and no way of getting outside? Are you crazy? Or, is it that
you’ve been too busy with Tim to think about your responsibilities to others?”

“What others? What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to deal with this again. You have one week
left on the rent you paid this month. That should be enough time to get your
things and your dog and move in with Tim. Besides, I’ve been thinking about moving
to the mountains with Mom and Dad.” Lord, what made me tell that lie? One
minute I’m trying to lay a guilt trip on her and the next I’m telling lies.

“Can we still be friends?” she pleaded.

“Sure, we just can’t live together anymore.”

“You know you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

She was starting to get sappy and I could tell this
conversation was only going to go downhill. “Becky, I need to get off the phone
and call Mom.” I also need to think about the bad person I am for telling yet
another lie.

We agreed she would come get her stuff, we’d remain friends,
and most laughable of all, keep in touch. I knew this was the end of the line
for me. There was no more going back.

It was barely dark, but I was ready for bed. I promised
myself I would get up early in the morning and call Claire before she left. I
just didn’t want to deal with another crisis today. I left the clothes in the
machine, turned off the coffee pot, and let Athena out one last time. Five
minutes later, she was finished. She followed me to the bathroom and watched
while I brushed my teeth. As I crawled into bed in my underwear and T-shirt,
she laid down on the floor. I guess a dog wants company, too.

Sunday morning started out to be a sunny day with just a
sprinkling of white, fluffy clouds and the promise of more warm days to come. I
love the spring. I threw out the old coffee, made a fresh pot and then called
Claire. We talked our usual sister-talk and she couldn’t tell me enough about
her plans for the new baby. She didn’t mention Carl, and I didn’t ask. When I
hung up, I felt much better. Things were starting to look up. I hung the
clothes on the line to dry, took a shower, and started in on the paperwork I’d
promised Kyle and George I’d have done by Monday morning. I needed to sort work
orders, receipts and checks; get on my computer and download all this to the
computer at work; and have the bank deposit ready to deposit on Monday. Once
all that was finished, I spent the rest of the day kicked back, eating junk
food, watching TV, and walking around the apartment thinking about all the lies
and crap that flowed so easily out of my mouth yesterday. Is that what I’m down
to now? Thirty-one... no life... no man... no babies... no career... a liar...
a dumpy duplex apartment... a piece-of-junk car... and breasts the size of
plums. The worst part was, I couldn’t even get drunk. I take Zoloft, the wonder
drug of the year 2000. I don’t want to go there right now. That’s another one
of those tales I don’t want to relive just yet.