UnBurdened (7 page)

“Sorry about last night I feel asleep, how was your show?”

“You know, screaming women throwing their panties at me. No
beautiful, indifferent ladies ignoring me in the front row,” he snickers.

“That girl was an idiot, she almost missed out on a chance
of a lifetime.” I reply honestly. I put him on speakerphone while I get ready
for work. We talk until I step through the doors of Mills headquarters where I
reluctantly say goodbye and step into business mode.

Soon as I power up my computer, Chase pops up. He texted me
last night to say good night but I ignored him hoping he would back off. I wish
I could brush him off but I always find myself responding to him.

Chase-me49:
r u pissed at me

KMills:
No

 Chase-me49:
  you never texted me
back

KMills:
I thought you said u would leave me
alone

Chase-me49:
  Is that what u really
want

KMills:
I don’t know Chase

 KMills:
 It’s what I should want

Chase-me49:
I missed u

KMills:
I missed ur texts too

Chase-me49:
No. I. Missed. You.

KMills:
Let’s not do this again

Chase-me49:
If that’s what u want

KMills:
Can we just b friends

Chase-me49:
I’ll try

I live off Brayden’s phone calls and Chase’s silly texts for
two weeks, craving them more than food. On Monday, almost three weeks since he
departed, he calls from his hotel room in Ohio.

“Hey, turn on your laptop.” He demands

“Why?” I ask.

“Skype me, I want to see your beautiful face.” I smile quick
firing up my laptop.

When his face pops up on my screen I feel giddy. I’m an
adolescent girl again and I don’t care because I missed his gorgeous face.

“You look as amazing as I remember,” his eyes twinkling with
excitement.

I walk around with my laptop for hours chatting to his
computer image. Mid afternoon we end our call so he can go to a business
meeting with queen bitch Mandy.  He promises to Skype me back later so I
take the time to do some laundry and organize my closet. In my rebellious years
I revolted against my mother’s strict organizational methods. We had maids and
butlers and every possible domestic worker possible but as ladies of the house
we were to keep everything tidy.

Last night I finally dared to take a trip to the Manor to
visit my mother. It was a big mistake and I wish I had kept my distance.

“I had brunch with Jeremy last week,” She began. “He’s still
willing to take you back.” She informs me in her cool matter of fact tone.

“I’m sure he is mom but I’m not.”

She huffs, “Why are you being so difficult. Is it because of
that miscreant you’ve been dallying with,” she snaps.

“No mom it’s because he banged some bimbo in my living
room.” I don’t even know why I stayed this long. I should have left soon as
Jeremy’s name came up. Now she’s insulting Brayden and I’m getting pissed.

“Kerrington darling, you’ve always been such a romantic. Men
are unfaithful by nature. You don’t leave a man over something not within their
control. You expect far too much. As long as he takes good care of you and
keeps his extracurricular activities discreet you and Jeremy can work things
out.”

A whole new light just shined on my parents’ marriage. I
won’t even let my brain venture into thought of my dad having a mistress. I
should be traumatized by this turn in events but I honestly don’t care. I
learned a little while ago that what my parents considered a perfect life would
never work for me. My mother is seriously demented and dense when it comes to affairs
of the heart. I’m seriously considering the fact that she might not have one,
or it’s at least frozen solid. I get up quietly gathering my purse and keys.

“I can’t accept your assumptions of what men and
relationship are supposed to be. I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life
than accept less than what I deserve from a man. You’re worth more than the
luxuries dad affords you; you deserve love. You just can’t see it.” I turn to
leave and collide right into my father’s solid chest. I look up into his face
as he stares at my mother.

“I’ll walk you out,” he says. The silence as we walk out the
Manor unto the front lawn is awkward. He walks me to the car, watching me
fumble with my keys.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on your mother.” He says to my
back. My hands stay at his words. “She doesn’t know how to fully accept love
from either of us.”

I feel really awful about my dad hearing what I said. My dad
has always been my life preserver in this family. As fierce as he was in
business at home he was a fiercely loving father. It’s impossible for me to
believe the man I watch coddle my mother for all these years is an adulterer.

 As a little girl we would take trips every year. Just
me and him, my mom wasn’t interested in hiking and fishing. Once we even
decided to go to Bali hoping the warm weather and beaches would entice mom but
she refused. Apparently she had previous engagements that just couldn’t be
rescheduled.

That vacation turned out to be our best. We went snorkeling,
rafting, climbing and still had time to lounge on the beach. I was sixteen and
perfectly content watching the sunset behind Pura Ulun Danu Bratan, while my
friends spent spring break on Daytona beach. He taught me what life is like
outside of the Manor. I was his little girl and he taught me that I was worth
more than anything else he had in this world.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. I’m sorry daddy,” I wrap my arm
around his back, enjoying the safety I always feel in his arms.

“I know sweetheart,” he respond placing a kiss on the top of
my head. “And for the record, I’ve never cheated on your mom. She just won’t
let her heart believe otherwise.”

He leaves me standing in the driveway watching him disappear
into the house. I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Knowing the one
man I’ve loved with all my heart my entire life wasn’t living a double life was
a relief. Thoughts of a secret family with brothers and sisters I’d never met
had begun cumulating in my mind.

******

 I finish organizing the hodgepodge that is my closet
thinking maybe my mother is on to something when it comes to tidiness. I lay on
my bed eating ding dongs with my laptop open anticipating Brayden’s call. Chase
texts me and I’m glad I’ll have something to do while I wait for Brayden.

What r u doin?

Waitin for Brayden to Skype me

Mandy keeps him busy. Skype me. I want to see ur face.

Very bad idea. I feel safe when we communicate through text.
Like I’m not crossing any lines. If I look into his face I know I’ll feel
things that I shouldn’t be. As much as I know it’s wrong once the option to see
his face is in front of me I take it.

When his face finally pops up on my screen I’m in mid bite
looking like a total pig. He shakes head and wags his finger at me in
disapproval. “How do you eat all that junk and stay so sexy?”

“I’ll have you know I do a lot of yoga and I deserve this
treat.” I stick my tongue out at him-childish. God he looks better than I
remember. His hair is sticking out in every direction and it only makes him
look hotter. I notice Brayden’s jacket hanging on the rack behind him.

“Are you sharing a room with Brayden?” I ask. He smiles at
me and looks behind him.

“I always share a room with Bray, even when he’s pissed at
me for wanting his girl.”

“You two are pretty close, huh?” I feel like shit for coming
between them.

“He’s my only family. I see that look on your face Kerri.
Brayden and I will be fine so stop thinking you’re a problem for us.” He licks
his lips in the same way Brayden does and I wonder if he would be as good with
his tongue as Brayden.

“You just got that ‘
I’m horny come fuck me’ Chase
look on your face.” He arches an eyebrow and laughs at me.

“I did not.”

“You know it would be really good right?” His smile
disappears and is replaced with a look of longing.

“What would be good?” I play dumb because I want to hear him
say it.

“It would be good when I lick you till you come then fuck
you so hard you won’t even be able to scream my name.”

Holy shit, I think my panties just caught in fire. Hot
liquid pools between my legs and I have to squeeze my legs together to relieve
some of the ache.

“We need to talk about something else Chase.” I say, I can’t
handle any more dirty talk from those sexy lips.

“Fine. Do you have scramble with friends on your phone?” he
asks, waving his phone at the screen.

“No”

“Download it now so we can play.”

“Are you serious Chase?”

“Come on it will be fun. It’s either that or I show you how
hard you made me.”

I downloaded the game quickly because if he whips his cock
out we would defiantly be crossing that line. We play for an hour before Ally
shows up and I hang up with Chase to have a girl’s night in.

******

Brayden calls me the next morning and apologizes for not
calling me back. As the front man of the band Mandy has him on a busier
schedule than any of the other guys.

“So how was your meeting?” I ask him.

“Boring, I kept looking at my watch wanting to get back here
to see your face. Then I got to thinking maybe you could come spend a couple
days on tour with me?” his eyes beg me to say yes.

“I can’t just up and leave work; I already got myself into
some deep shit for missing a couple days when you were here.” My heart aches to
scream yes and jump on a plane without a backwards glance. I know I won’t do
it. I hate to disappoint my dad.

“How about for the weekend?” Oh, this is well thought out;
how can I turn him down now. The only problem resides in me being able to
return on time. The temptation to stay with him will be insurmountable.

“So where am I meeting you up at this weekend?” I ask. A
huge grin appears on his face once he realizes he’ll see me in a few short
days.

“Washington. I get to show you my city this time.”

After hanging up with Brayden, Chase texts me a picture of
him blowing kisses at me. He’s been sending me random pictures all week. His
easy going personality is irresistible. We’ve become text buddies and I look
forward to his jokes and playful flirting. I know I should tell Brayden but I
don’t want to cause a bigger rift between him and Chase.
Beside
we’re
just friend so it’s not like I’m cheating on Brayden,
I rationalize to
myself.

I’m coming to see u guys this weekend

After sending the message I realize I said I was going to
see him too. I’m going to see Brayden and I have to stop the fluttering in my
belly at the thought of seeing Chase too.

I’ll let all the groupies know I’m off limits this
weekend. My girl is coming to town.

When he calls me his girl I get a little thrill and I know I
have a serious problem. What I feel for Chase is different from what I feel for
Brayden. With Chase it's just attraction, with Brayden my feelings are deeper.
I just feel awful for even being attracted to Chase. But what girl wouldn’t,
he’s gorgeous.

I’m not your girl

A little voice in my head says I want to be his but I turn
it off. I don’t need to stir up anymore trouble between those two guys.

Not yet but u will b

I shake my head, staring at his message. He’s so
aggravating. So persistent. So sexy. Oh god, I want Chase Baldwin. I’m tempted
to call off the weekend trip. Staying away from them would be the smartest move
right now but I miss Brayden so much there’s no way I’m missing an opportunity
to be with him.

There’s a note on my desk Friday morning to meet my dad for
lunch at noon. I work at a frantic pace hoping to flee work earlier than usual.
I was able to switch into an earlier flight and don’t want to get stuck in rush
hour traffic.

I meet my dad at our favorite café at a quarter to noon.
He’s already ordered for us knowing I always have a turkey bacon flatbread
whenever we come here.

“So how’s mom?” I ask, addressing the elephant in the room.

“That’s actually why I invited you to lunch, Sunday night
was pretty rough and there are some things I should have told you years
ago.”  He taps his fingers on the table. A telltale sign he’s nervous. I
place my hand over his stilling his fingers.

“You’ve never been nervous to talk to me dad.”

“I know but this is different. I don’t want you know how
selfish I was when I met your mother,” his eyes dart anxiously around the room.
“Your mother wasn’t always as cold as she is. When I met her she was vibrant
and full of life, a lot like you. Her beauty and her gracefulness had all the
young men falling at her feet. We became friends our second year at the
university. She was funny and kind and I quickly fell in love with her.”

The tapping has resumed but this time I don’t make an effort
to stop him.

“She didn’t return my love; in fact she told me she was in
love with someone else, a man named Richard. She knew she would marry a rich
successful man, it just wasn’t me. Her father forbid her to date him. Turns out
he was a much older associate of her fathers. Her family did a lot of business
with mine so it was quickly arranged that we would be married concluding
graduation.”

History does tend to repeat itself. My mom’s marriage was
arranged much as she wants to arrange a union between me and Jeremy.