Twin Ties 2: Twin Affairs (34 page)

Evan sipped his water. There was more air to clear, though. “You told Charlie about the twins, how Bren and I were having sex with both of them. Dad knew. It was one of the things that came out of his mouth when he found me and Bren in bed.”

“I was
concerned
,” Jimmy argued.

“Mmm,” Evan hummed skeptically. “You know, if you’re ever jealous of the people I choose to trust instead of you, you can just say so. Our relationship’s all about honesty, right, Jimmy?”

“You done?” It sounded tired, beaten down.

“Maybe,” Evan replied, feeling equally exhausted by it all.

“If you do this, and move in with them, you know how difficult and complicated that will be, right? That’s a lot for someone your age to sign up for.”

“Maybe I can handle it. Maybe all I’ve been missing is a family who won’t abandon me and need me as much as I need them.”

Jimmy just stared at him with an unreadable expression, so Evan drank his water and went back to enjoying the silence. Sometimes words did more harm than good.

Three nights had passed since Evan had gone to stay with Jimmy. For each of them, Brennan had slept with Luka in his room while Alek was left on his own. If Brennan happened to wake during the night, he usually saw Alek’s bedroom light on, across the hall. Come morning, it was clear the sleepless night had taken its toll on Alek. Each subsequent sleepless night only made things worse. Soon, he had bags under his eyes. His attention lapsed often, enough that Brennan began to worry about him driving to work, so Brennan insisted on driving him there and picking him up. His temper was short and he was never in the mood to talk.

It was close to eleven p.m. when Brennan went up to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. Luka appeared in the bathroom doorway, leaning against it while Alek shuffled past with a laptop in hand. He never seemed to cease his search for the right apartment for them. It was like he’d resolved not to rest until the task was complete.

“So look, he’s been in rough shape, right?” Luka said under his breath to Brennan, nodding in Alek’s direction. “Maybe just for tonight, I’ll sleep next to him and see if it helps, but only if it’s okay with you. I know you don’t have insomnia issues, so if you think you could get by just for one night, so Alek can get sleep….”

He sounded so hopeful, Brennan knew he couldn’t say no, as much as he didn’t like the idea of sleeping alone, either.

Nothing had been the same since Evan had left. Their foursome had been revolving around him since he was attacked at the bar, so now that they were missing him, their little group was noticeably disjointed. Alek was snapping. Luka was increasingly worried about his brother and drawing into himself. There was no lightheartedness or joy. It was just getting through the day, wasting time until Evan’s return, and it was awful. Part of Brennan had been angry since Evan left, and it was the part of him that felt he and Luka should have been able to be self-sufficient as a couple, like he once thought they were. Now, they’d become too dependent upon their brothers to feel normal alone.

“Yeah. Fine.”

“You don’t sound like it’s fine. Should we all cram into one bed?”

“No,” Brennan sighed. “You’re right. He needs you. Go on. It’s just one night.”

Luka smiled. He came up and held the side of Brennan’s face in his hand, brushing the skin gently with the pad of his thumb. Leaning in closer, Luka closed his eyes. Brennan frowned. He watched as Luka tilted Brennan’s chin up and kissed him lingeringly.

“I know what you’re doing.”

Luka straightened, letting go and looking confused. “What am I doing?”

“You’re pretending I’m him.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Why are you denying it? Just admit that you miss him!”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“Paranoid. Remember last night? I was on my hands and knees with your dick up my ass and you moaned his name.”

That stopped him. Luka flushed with embarrassment and Brennan could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to remember.

“What’s going on?” Alek demanded, looking disappointed in them for disturbing his diligent scanning of the rental listings. “Stop arguing.”

“You’re not the boss of us,” Brennan snapped.

“What’s wrong with you? What’s your problem with Luka?”

“He keeps pretending I’m Evan.”

“You’re crazy,” Luka said, trying to laugh it off.

“He called me Evan while he was fucking me.”

“When were you fucking him?” Alek asked Luka.

“Last night,” Brennan said.

“I didn’t go to bed until four in the morning. I was right across the hall, by myself, and here the two of you are, nice and cozy. Just because it’s the three of us instead of four doesn’t mean I cease to exist, you know.”

Brennan could see how hurt Alek was. It was in the shape of his eyes, the softness of his voice, and it made Brennan feel like the biggest asshole on the planet, so he pushed the bad feelings the other way, getting angry instead of going anywhere near his suffocating, intense remorse.

“Say his name. Say Evan,” Brennan dared Alek. “You haven’t even said it in, like,
days
.”

“You
are
crazy,” Alek replied, not giving in to the bait.

“It’s bad enough I see him doing it,” Brennan ranted, letting out some of the frustration that had been building inside him. “You really think I want both of you double teaming me while I’m just your stand-in for the guy you really want? I
know
you can’t fuck me without thinking about him, Aleksy.” .

“He’s not dead, he’s just
not here
,” Alek growled. “Just because we miss him doesn’t mean we don’t care about you, you know.”

“Say his name!”

“No!”

“What if he
had
died? You’d become a total psycho wouldn’t you? You’d probably ask me to dress up like him and everything.”

“He’s not dead!”

“STOP!” Luka yelled, holding his head in his hands. “Jesus H. You,” he pointed at Brennan. “Cool off. And you,” he took Alek by the shoulders and led him to bed. “Need some fucking sleep.”

A half hour later, Brennan was lying in Luka’s bed, alone. He didn’t even know why he’d said those things to Alek and Luka. He was as bad as Charlie, vomiting up shitty verbal barbs to make other people feel bad, just so he wasn’t the only one in pain.

A Popovic-shaped figure crept to the bedside over the creaky floorboards, and it took Brennan an embarrassingly long time to decide it was, in fact, Luka. He knew if the tables were turned, and one of the Popovic twins was away, he’d be tempted to fantasize once in a while to fill the huge gap left behind. He couldn’t blame them for doing the same thing.

Luka sat on the bed and leaned down to give Brennan a kiss. One of his hands cradled the side of Brennan’s head. “He’s out like a light,” Luka whispered. “Are you okay? I’m sorry about the Evan stuff.”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m fine. Go back to Alek. It’s obviously helping him to have you there.”

Luka sighed and looked longingly back at the doorway. “But you need me, too. I really am sorry if I called you the wrong name last night. It was late, and I must have just been really tired—”

Brennan groaned, blushing. “Don’t. I lied.”

“What?”

“I lied, okay? I admit it. You didn’t call me Evan, but you
have
been acting weird and—”

But Luka was already standing up and was clearly pissed off. “You
lied
? Why would you lie about that?!” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down, despite his heightened emotions.

“I just wanted you to admit you do it! That you pretend I’m him!”

“Do you pretend I’m Alek?” Luka countered.

“No!”

“Then why do you think
I’d
do it?! I don’t pretend you’re Evan!”

“At least you can say his name. That makes one of you.”

Luka closed his eyes and held up his hands. “I quit. I’m done. We’ll talk in the morning, but for now, just go to sleep. I love you, but you’re still being crazy. Good night.”

“’Night,” Brennan grumbled.

Luka left the room. Brennan continued to stare at the ceiling.

A few hours passed. Still, Brennan couldn’t fall asleep.

It was stupid, really. There was no reason for him to keep lying there like that, so he got up and slipped on one of Luka’s sweatshirts. He scrawled a note and left it on the empty bed, took a set of Luka’s keys and tiptoed out of the room, down the hall and right out the door.

Evan’s phone buzzed. He had it on silent mode, since sometimes Brennan or Alek would text him in the middle of the night about stupid shit and after it woke Jimmy the first time it happened, Evan learned to at least turn his phone’s volume all the way down.

It was Brennan. The message was strange enough to cause Evan to sit bolt-upright in bed, instantly.

‘I’m outside.’

“What the fuck?”

He climbed out of the trailer’s fold-out bed. The door was only a handful of feet away. He opened it to find Brennan, standing there in a sweatshirt that was at least fifteen sizes too big for him, in the pitch black, in the middle of the night.

“I couldn’t sleep,” was all he said, shivering.

“Get your crazy ass in here,” Evan said, waving him in before the cold blew all the way through the trailer and woke Jimmy.

“Stop calling me crazy!” Brennan hissed.

“That’s the first time I have!”

Brennan wound his arms around Evan’s neck, leaning into him, and moaned softly. “God, I’ve missed you. It’s been awful. Nothing works the way it should without you.”

“Come on. If you’re tired, then sleep,” Evan said, pulling Brennan’s arms off of him and guiding him to the bed.

Brennan kicked off his sneakers and lay down. Evan lay next to him and wrapped an arm around Brennan. It soothed an ache in Evan’s heart. Comfortable and peaceful at last, he was quickly asleep with Brennan snoring gently in his arms.

Jimmy emerged from his bedroom to a surprise. He had no way of telling when Brennan had arrived during the night, but there he was, sleeping fully clothed next to Evan, who was dressed in a t-shirt and pajama pants. They actually looked sort of sweet together, with Brennan held snugly inside Evan’s embrace like a beloved teddy bear. There was nothing obscene about it. They just looked like two young men who loved each other very much.

For long minutes, Jimmy stood there, taking in the sight of them like that. He tried to imagine how, in different circumstances, with less clothing, for instance, such a sight could make someone angry enough to scream and become violent with the boys in that bed, but he couldn’t make the leap. As much as he might have privately disapproved of their relationship, he couldn’t deny what was right in front of his eyes.

But he had to leave in order to get to the shelter before breakfast was ready to be served, so he wrote a note explaining where he’d gone and left it on the table for them, then silently slipped out.