Toss Up (The Toss Trilogy) (20 page)

“Can we get
Facing the Giants
?” Tyler looked up at Jim. “It’s about football.”

“If they have it, that’s what we’ll get.”

Conversation lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Jim spoke. “Tyler, would you like to listen to the radio? Turn it on—you can pick the channel.”

Tyler immediately began pushing buttons, searching for a song that he liked. Usually the incessant switching from station to station would have been hard to take, but tonight? It was a blessed relief from the tense silence. Problem solved.

It only took a quick stop at the twenty-four/seven discount store to find a DVD, and then they pulled up outside the pizza place, where Sally ran in to get the food and drinks while he and Tyler waited in the truck. The radio continued to occupy Tyler during a fast drive home. And though the music had been his idea, Jim was glad when the truck was parked in Sally’s drive, and the three of them walked to the door.

Seeing the house seemed to trigger Tyler’s memory. “Mom said the police brought a dog to smell for the burglar. Did you see it?”

“I did,” Jim answered. “It was a very smart dog. The handler said she was the best dog he’d ever worked with.”

“Then will they catch the burglar right away?”

Jim pressed his lips together and shook his head. He wished he didn’t have to disillusion the boy. “I don’t know about that, Tyler. In real life, sometimes it takes a long time to catch the bad guys. But your mom told you all your stuff was okay, didn’t she?”

“Yeah. I’m glad he didn’t take my Wii. I’ll get the paper plates out.”

“No, Tyler.” Sally forestalled him. “You and Dr. Donovan get the DVD set up. I’ll get plates and napkins out.”

She was a good mother, whatever else she may lack. The
house had been cleared by the dog, but there was no point in taking a chance of Tyler stumbling across anything that might have been missed.

They put the pizza on paper plates, and ate in the living room. Ten minutes into the movie, he and Sally left Tyler on the couch and moved to his bedroom to check through things. Without a word, Jim moved to the closet and began sorting swiftly through hanging clothes, shoes and toys. Sally did the same with the dresser and shelves. Jim checked the bed. Working together, it didn’t take long to be sure no surprises lurked in the room.

“Well, it’s clean,” Jim said.

“Thank God. The handler was sure there were no explosives, but the dog wasn’t trained to alert on notes or pictures. Thank you for helping me check.”

“I wouldn’t want Tyler to find anything.”

“I know. I appreciate that and your help.” Sally turned to face him. “Jim, we have to talk.”

He stiffened. There wasn’t anything she could say that he wanted to hear. He turned toward the door. “Let’s get back to Tyler, shall we?”

When the DVD ended, Sally left Jim and Tyler playing Mario and began going through the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator. Anything that wasn’t sealed, she discarded. Anything sealed in plastic, she exa
mined minutely for punctures or tears. She was taking no chances. Who knew what the creep might have chosen to mess with?

She tried to stay focused on her work, but her mind kept circling around Jim. He was so cold, like he would rather be anywhere but here. Even now, playing in the other room with Tyler, the camaraderie that was normal between them seemed to be missing. Jim’s enthusiasm sounded forced. She prayed that Tyler wasn’t aware of it. He wouldn’t understand.

Heck, she didn’t understand either. Why had he pulled away from her? It didn’t make sense. He’d seen Daniel kiss her Friday, and he didn’t believe she loved him…yeah, she got that. But she hadn’t loved him before, and they’d still been friends. Now they were…what?

Nothing.
Nothing to each other anymore.

Sally’s hands stilled and she felt the quick sting of tears. How had it come to this? Was it because she’d proposed? But that didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t fair. It felt as if he’d waited for her to fall in love with him just so he could hurt her.

She knew it wasn’t really that way. Jim would never… It couldn’t really be that way. She wiped her eyes with the backs of her fingers and moved to the next cupboard.

It was like spring-cleaning early. Ninety percent of what she had in the kitchen was headed to the trash bin. She loaded the dishwasher and put in a soap packet. She wasn’t going to eat from or cook in anything the intruder might have touched. As she waited for the machine to fi
nish its cycle, she got a cloth and soapy water and wiped down the empty cupboards, then began replacing the few items that remained. There would be some serious grocery shopping to do tomorrow—on the day before Thanksgiving. She shook her head.
Oh, yeah. That’ll be loads of fun.

“Mom! We just finished the Mario Championship of the World and I beat Dr. Donovan. The winner gets the bed tonight.” He giggled. “I’m going to sleep now before he steals my spot.”

In spite of her worry, Sally smiled. Jim was so good with Tyler. “Okay, honey. Brush your teeth first.”

“I will. Good night, mom.” Tyler stuck his head back into the living room. “Goodnight Dr. Donovan.”

Five minutes later, her son was in bed and she was alone.

Jim didn’t come into the kitchen.
Guess I’ll have to go to him. We are going to talk this out.
The unaccustomed coldness between them was taking its toll on Sally. She was anxious to get things worked through. After straightening her sweatshirt and finger-combing her hair, she walked into the living room to face him.

At the doorway, she paused. Why did the phrase, ’bearding the lion in its den’ keep floating through her brain? He was sitting on the couch, staring at the blank screen of the television, or possibly at the cold, unlit wood in the fireplace. He didn’t look up as she approached.

Her heart beat a nervous tattoo in her chest, and she deliberately relaxed her hands. She perched on the far end of the couch and swallowed to moisten her dry throat. “Jim?”

He turned to face her, harsh lines marring his mouth and eyes. His voice held deadly patience. “What?”

Sally grabbed her fortitude with both hands. “Jim, we have to talk. We have to straighten this thing out.”

“Why?”

She felt her throat trying to close up on her and fought to keep it open. She succeeded, but the tension pitched her voice higher than normal. “I don’t understand what’s happened. I don’t understand why, now that I finally realize I love you, you’ve turned away from me.” She swallowed hard, willing the tears that threatened to stay away. “You told me you loved me, and now…” Her throat closed and she was unable to continue. Fiercely battling down the tears, she shrugged helplessly.

Jim looked at her. He must have seen her distress—she hadn’t even tried to hide it—but there was no warmth, no comfort in his eyes. “I did love you.” His voice was cold as he emphasized the past tense. “But you
don’t want love. You want protection, you want company, you want someone to take care of you in bed. None of those things require love. You don’t want a marriage. You want to trade telling me you love me for security and a live in-lover.” His eyes were cold and intense.

Sally swallowed again, trying to speak, to deny what he accused her of.

“Well, I’m here. You’ve got your security.” He rose and moved to stand in front of her. “Do you want the rest of the package, Sally?”

She stared up at him, unable to speak, unable to move, pleading with her eyes for him to love her… just to love her.

“I wouldn’t want to shortchange you.” He hauled her to her feet and pulled her against him. His hands were like steel bands on her arms as his mouth crashed down on hers, cruelly hard, demanding a response that, even in her pain and fear, she could not deny.

He might have let her pull away, but she would never know. The need within her leapt to meet his demand, and she kissed him back fiercely, taking every bit as much as she gave, driven by the desire for him that had become an elemental part of who she was. She pressed the length of her body against his, hips arching forward as her head angled back from the pressure of his mouth.

He let go of her arms and swept her up, moving to the bedroom with swift, sure strides. When he turned the overhead light on, her eyes flashed to his face, surprised.

She saw him scan the room. It was empty, neat, the bed made up with blue sheets that he’d put on it—she hadn’t slept in here since…she shuddered. His angry glance hit her face and in one swift motion he set her feet down, holding her to him with an arm around her back and reached one long arm out to violently rip the covering sheet down to the foot of the bed. She saw the sheet below, clean and bare, as he straigh
tened, bringing her upright, and glared at her, his eyes hot and hard.

“Nothing. It’s clean. You’re safe. Now love me, damn you.”

His mouth crushed down on hers. Sensation rushed through her, immersing her in a river of fire, sweeping her away. Her body melted, no longer her own but his, crushed so close by rough hands that he surrounded her… so close she might as well be inside his skin. Her mind spun in an agonized whirlpool of shock, loneliness, and overwhelming need.

She felt no love from him; she felt no peace. There was only anger and the fury of desire. She was being taken by the demons that drove him tonight. She didn’t know why and, God help her, she didn’t care. She needed this. She wanted it, and gave herself up to his raging passion.

After an eternity of flame, he drew back and pushed her down onto the bed. She was already more than half naked, shirt and bra cast aside, jeans unzipped and gaping open where his hand had forced its way inside. Like a toy doll, she flopped back, moaning softly, wanting him still.

Pulling off her shoes and tossing them to the floor, he stripped off her jeans and thong,
then stood looking at her greedily, lust and possession burning in his eyes. Reaching down, he lifted her shoulders, and all but tossed her sideways on the bed, angling her legs toward him. He knelt on the floor at the end of the bed. Lean hands gripped her thighs, pulling her forward, opening her to him. His hot breath penetrated the soft curls at the juncture of her thighs and a flicker of satisfaction lit his eyes as she moaned again, shifting restlessly on the bed. Then his mouth pressed against her, driving her mad with tongue and teeth, the relentless sensual escalation forcing her body’s responses higher and higher until she broke and shattered. Breathing hard, he tightened his grip on her thighs and refusing to allow her respite, drove her to climax again, and again.

She was mindless and defenseless when he stood, towering above her, and stripped off his clothing. Climbing onto the bed, he straddled her and hauled her
upward toward the head of the bed, until her full length rested on the mattress. Pushing her legs apart with a knee between her thighs, he took her breasts in his hands, massaging her taut nipples with calloused thumbs. Leaning forward, he kissed her. She tasted him, tasted herself on his tongue. Deep inside her soul, something clicked into place. The two of them, together. It was right at a level deeper than just the physical, deeper than the sex they shared or the pain they both felt. She was his, and it was right.

Begging soundlessly for him to take her again, she ran her hands up his back, pulling herself closer to him. She felt his lips draw back against her mouth. Then without preliminary he entered her, hard and fast, le
tting go of her breasts and releasing her mouth as he gripped her hips to drive himself deep within her. She gasped as her body stretched to accommodate his girth.

The feel of his strength inside her jolted life back into her limbs and she matched the punishing pace he set, climaxing almost immediately, but continuing to meet him thrust for thrust. He required her total su
rrender, and she gave it, gasping her way upward once again till her body trembled uncontrollably and fire rained down, scorching her soul.

As her breathing slowed and rational thought returned, Sally hesita
ted, wondering if she dared wrap her arms around the lean body that covered hers. Jim’s fierce passion had been driven by anger and pain. She knew that, though she didn’t know why. Long minutes later, following her heart, she lifted her arms to hold him.

He rolled away from her, drawing in a harsh breath. “Well?” He stood and scooped up his clothes. “Was that enough for you, or shall I call Smith to come over again?” Hatred vibrated in his voice, but whet
her for himself or for her, she couldn’t tell.

She shrank back, fighting down panic.
Shit—but nothing happened!
“Smith? What are you talking about?”

He paused on his way out of the bedroom, turning to give her a scornful glance. “There’s no need to lie. I was here, Sally. Stupid sap that I was, I was watching your house, keeping an eye out for the stalker. I didn’t see him, but I saw you and Smith.”

“But nothing happened!”

His mouth curled into a sneer. “Didn’t you hear me? Not stupid sap that I am…stupid sap that I
was
.”

Stunned, she watched him leave the room, shutting her bedroom door firmly behind him. She raced after him, not opening the door, but pressing her ear to it, listening with dread for the sound of her front door closing, of his truck driving away. Instead, she heard the door of the guest bathroom open, and
minutes later the creak of Tyler’s door. As time passed with no other sound, her fear ebbed and pain grew in its place. She was safe from the stalker’s vengeance, but Jim’s love had protected her soul, and it was gone. Her heart lay exposed to the cold winter night.