The Whole Lesbian Sex Book (6 page)

Illustration 1. Female Anatomy (External)

How did the women of the FFWHC figure this out? In the 1970s, while researching a book on reproductive health for women, they came across the conventional descriptions of women’s sexuality, which didn’t make sense when viewed alongside their own experiences. In true ’70s feminist style, they formed a consciousness-raising group and got to work. They looked at each other’s genitals, took pictures, made films of themselves masturbating, and studied human anatomy. The result was the book
A New View of a Woman’s Body
.
³

Another researcher, working almost 25 years later, used a different strategy. Dr. Helen E. O’Connell, of the Royal Melbourne Hospital in Australia, dissected human cadavers. “The pyramid-shaped mass of erectile tissue” she saw, “far larger than previously described,” bore no resemblance to the anatomy she learned in med school.
⁴
“There were glaringly obvious defects in some books—like the book that I learnt anatomy from when I was training for my surgical exams just had no description [of the clitoris] at all.
⁵

Two of O’Connell’s ten specimens were from premenopausal women who exhibited “more extensive erectile tissue” than the typical elderly cadavers found in research settings.
⁶
“Welucked out,”she said, “one of our cadavers was 36 years old. She looked like an Amazon.”
⁷

Even
Gray’s Anatomy
failed to identify or describe the nerves and blood vessels that go to the clitoris—which are among the FFWHC’s 18 parts of the clitoris related to sexual pleasure. “For a surgeon,” said O’Connell, “that’s unacceptable.” She concluded that current anatomical descriptions of female human urethral and genital anatomy are inaccurate.

That lack of respect for women’s anatomy can have serious consequences for women undergoing radical hysterectomy and other surgeries. Men who undergo surgery for prostate cancer benefit from the “tons of studies about how to prevent impotence after radical prostectomy,” as one expert in gynecological anatomy said. “Given this beautifully detailed knowledge of the interrelationship between the female urethra and sexual organs,” the researcher continued, “it should be possible to develop similar nerve-sparing operations for women.”
⁸

O’Connell found that the crura (or legs) of the clitoris “flare backwards into the body,” extending into the vaginal wall on either side of the urethra. (Think of a wishbone, with the clitoral glans in the middle and the crura as the legs.) Called the “vestibular bulbs” in traditional anatomy texts because they sit on either side of the vaginal opening, the “clitoral bulbs” (so named by O’Connell) are analogous to the bulb of erectile tissue at the root of a penis, though, O’Connell says, “the bulbs are more prominent in females.” The clitoris, she concludes, is far larger than the tiny structure depicted in conventional anatomy texts.

But why does any of this matter to you? If you think of your clitoris as an extensive sexual organ—one that protrudes at the top of your vulva, reaches down to flank the vaginal opening, extends into the vagina, and cradles the urethra—your concept of touching your clit just might take on new dimensions!

Illustration 2. Female Anatomy (Internal)

Labia

The
labia majora
are the large outer lips of your vulva. These are what some women call their pussy lips. They’re usually covered with hair, and the skin is the same texture and color as the rest of you. Among women who shave their genitals, this is the area that’s most commonly shorn. The
labia minora
are next as we move inward. These are asymmetrical, delicate folds of tissue with the same texture as mucous membrane. Generally hairless, they become quite slippery during sex. Some women’s inner labia are long, extending outside the labia majora; others are smaller and tucked away inside the labia majora.

Vagina

The opening of the vagina sits below the clit and urethral opening, and above the perineum and anus. The vagina is made up of very elastic tissue that opens up and expands during arousal (and childbirth, of course). When not aroused, the walls of the vagina touch—we do
not
have a big “hole” in there.

The outer third of the vagina contains the most nerve endings, and most women find it to be more sensitive than the deeper areas of the vagina. The opening and G-spot are the most responsive to the subtleties of movement and touch; the deeper areas are more responsive to the pressure of thrusting. The vagina ends in the cervix, the knoblike opening to the uterus through which menstrual blood passes. Some women love to have their cervix pounded; others hate it. Be careful not to bruise or abrade your cervix.

I love my cunt, for sure—the way its lips pucker, the way it hungers to get some. My cunt and I are partners in crime! Arrest us for being too hot!

The vagina isn’t a passive receptacle. The opening of the vagina is quite muscular. Surrounded by the pelvic muscles, the vagina will contract with pleasure, gripping a finger, dildo, or hand.

G-Spot

The G-spot is named for Ernst Grafenberg, an ob-gyn—but let’s think of it as the girl spot. Since Grafenberg, Beverly Whipple, Deborah Sundahl, Carol Downer, and many others have discovered so much more about the G-spot and its role in pleasure and orgasm.

The G-spot isn’t a magic button, but rather an area of tissue that feels a bit rougher in texture than the rest of the vagina walls. You can find your G-spot by inserting a finger into your vagina and making a “come hither” motion toward the front wall of the vagina. The G-spot is actually the urethral sponge, or
corpus spongiosum
, an area of tissue surrounding the urethra, which runs along the front wall of your vagina carrying urine from the bladder to the urethral opening. (The urethral opening is located below your clit, just above your vagina.) You can also think of the G-spot as your female prostate; like a man’s, it plays a role in ejaculation.

Some women ejaculate with G-spot stimulation; some ejaculate with clitoral stimulation. Some like G-spot stimulation, but don’t ejaculate. And others find G-spot stimulation too intense to be pleasurable. (More on the G-spot and ejaculation in chapter 4, Orgasm.)

Perineum

Between your vagina and anus sits a small area of connective tissue, the perineum. A lot of women like pressure here during penetration, and licking or nibbling during cunnilingus. This tissue is also somewhat elastic—it stretches during childbirth to allow passage of a baby’s head. During her pregnancy, Susie Bright discovered that “perineal massage” recommended by her childbirth preparation teacher was much like fist-fucking. “I could see why immediately,” she wrote. “A hand going inside my pussy is a little like a baby’s head trying to move outside into the world. How exciting! For the first time I felt a surge of confidence about my chances for a successful labor.”
⁹

Anus

The anus is a very sensitive area, ripe for erotic play. In Victorian porn, it’s called the “little rosebud.” Made of delicate tissue, rich in nerve endings and blood vessels, the anus is quite responsive to sexual arousal.

The anus is guarded by two muscles—the external sphincter, which consists of voluntary muscles (you can flex them), and the internal sphincter, which consists of involuntary muscles (they seem to open and close according to their own will—like blinking—though with practice you can learn to relax these, too).

The anus is short, just an inch or two long, leading into the rectum, which is about 4 to 6 inches long, and ending in the rectosigmoidal junction, the opening to the sigmoid colon. From there, the colon leads to the intestines. The rectum offers no equivalent of the cervix; there’s no stopping point. Things really can get lost in there, so precautions are a must when inserting an object into your anus. Dildos and butt plugs must have a flanged base (bigger at the base than the top), and insertive toys, like anal beads, must be securely fastened to their strings.

The tissue of the anus engorges with arousal and is quite expansive; you can fit a finger, a dildo or penis, a butt plug, or even a whole hand inside your butt. The lining of the anus and rectum is very, very delicate, and will tear easily—another reason to be extremely careful in choosing insertive anal toys and to always use lube.

In biological males, the prostate gland, located on the front wall of the rectum a few inches from the anal opening, responds to stimulation similarly to the G-spot. You can insert a finger into the rectum and use that come-hither motion to find a partner’s prostate. Male-to-female transsexuals, both pre-op and post-op, can enjoy prostate stimulation.

PC Muscles

Finally, the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles are the set of muscles that run through your pelvic area in a figure eight. These are the muscles you exercise when you stop the flow of urine midstream—or grip your lover’s finger. Developing these muscles will heighten your experience of orgasm; prevent incontinence when laughing or sneezing, or in old age; and generally help you become more aware of sensations in all areas of your genitals. Kegel exercises (named for the gynecologist who popularized them) involve squeezing your muscles as if you were shutting off the flow of urine. Inhale as you contract your PC muscles; hold the contraction for several seconds; and then exhale as you relax. Do this ten times. Then push out ten times. Repeat. Do this daily—on the bus, in traffic, and while watching your TiVo.

Breasts

Many of us enjoy breast play—so much so that it gets its own chapter in this book. Unless you have health concerns or plan to breastfeed, you may not have sought out information on the anatomy of your breasts.

Our breasts are composed mostly of breast tissue and fat. Although the size of your breasts is genetically determined, your breast size will change as you gain or lose weight. One breast may be larger than the other. The size or shape of your breasts has no bearing on their responsiveness to sexual stimulation.

The areola surrounds the nipple; it’s darker than the rest of the breast. The areola darkens and swells in response to sexual stimulation. The nipple becomes erect when stimulated; some women’s nipples invert when aroused. (Dr. Susan Love calls these “shy” nipples.)
¹⁰

Breast sensitivity varies from woman to woman, as well as at different points in a woman’s menstrual cycle and over the course of her lifetime. PMS (premenstrual syndrome) and pregnancy can intensify breast sensitivity, and menopause can lessen breast sensitivity. Women who have cystic breasts may find breast play very uncomfortable.

Sexual Response

How do you know when you’re turned on? Does your clit throb? Can you feel a pulsing at the mouth of your vagina or at the opening of your anus? Do you feel nervous or fluttery? Do you notice small contractions of the sphincter muscles? Do you feel yourself getting wet? Do your nipples get erect? Are you aware of your nipples brushing against the fabric of your clothing? Can you smell your own juices?

You may be familiar with the Masters and Johnson model of sexual response. In the 1960s, William Masters and Virginia Johnson identified four stages of sexual response:
arousal, plateau, orgasm,
and
resolution
.
¹¹
Theirs became the standard model of describing what happens when we’re sexual. Helen Singer Kaplan added a fifth stage,
desire
; she posited that before there is arousal, there’s desire.
¹²
In the 1980s, Joann Loulan joined the chorus, adding a sixth stage:
willingness
. Loulan suggested that even if there wasn’t desire, there could be a willingness to feel desire.
¹³
Don’t worry if your sexual response fails to follow any of these models. Human sexuality varies greatly from person to person, and even from day to day.