The Sinner (20 page)

A
lex returned to the hall to find his wife’s seat empty.

“Where is Glynis?” he asked his mother.

“She said Sorcha looked tired and took her upstairs,” his mother said. “I told her I’d be happy to take Sorcha home with me, but Glynis wouldn’t hear of it.”

Damn. Damn. Damn.

“Ye can’t leave as well when we have all these guests,” his mother whispered.

“Ye invited them, Mother, so ye can entertain them.”

Alex left without a backward glance and took the stairs two at a time. He expected to find Glynis tucking Sorcha into bed or telling her a story, but the room was black.

“Glynis, I know ye can’t be sleeping yet,” Alex said.

Glynis’s voice came out of the darkness. “Shhh. You’ll wake Sorcha.”

“Then come out and talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say to ye,” Glynis said. “Sorcha is in the bed with me, so ye can make yourself comfortable on the floor.”

“I apologize for last night,” he said in a low voice. “I wanted to make it up to ye tonight.”

“To me and who else?”

“I don’t deserve that,” he said. “I haven’t even had time to do anything I shouldn’t, even if I were inclined—which I’m not.”

“I don’t believe ye,” Glynis said. “And I don’t want to talk about it tonight.”

He tried to make Glynis see sense, but it was like bailing the sea with a creel. Eventually, he tired of talking to himself in the darkness, so he lay down on the cold floor and wrapped his plaid around himself. He was tempted to tell her there were other beds in this house that he wouldn’t be turned out of. But he thought of his parents’ vicious fights and bit his tongue.

Clearly, he wouldn’t be getting his deepest desires fulfilled tonight.

After tossing and turning on the hard floor all night, he awoke abruptly to a room filled with sunlight and sat up. The bed beside him was empty.

So, for the second morning of his marriage, Alex went looking for his wife. As he was crossing the hall, his mother poked her head out from behind the screen.

“Get your father,” she said. “I must speak with the two of ye alone.”

Being trapped alone with his mother and father was the last thing he needed right now. “Later, Mother. Have ye seen Glynis?”

“It’s about her that we need to speak,” she said. “This is important, Alex, so get your father. Now.”

His father was in his bedchamber—alone, for once. A short time later, the three of them were sitting at the small table that was behind the screen in the hall. Alex would rather be boiled in oil than sit with the two of them in a small space, but here he was.

His father leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms on his chest. In the surly tone he reserved for Alex’s mother, he said, “What is it, Mòrag?”

His mother opened her mouth to shout at him, but with an effort she stopped herself.

“Fergus, ye must remove every woman from this house who our son has bedded at one time or another.” His mother made this astonishing statement in a calm and reasonable voice, as if she were saying they were out of salt or needed another barrel of wine.

Alex and his father exchanged glances, but they were both too startled to say a word.

“Are ye men such fools that ye can’t see what is happening?” she asked.

“I’ve no idea what ye are talking about, Mother.”

“It comes as no surprise that your father is wholly lacking in consideration for a new bride,” his mother said. “But, Alex, can ye no see how it hurts Glynis to have these women about?”

“What is it ye think I’ve done?” Alex felt self-righteous, which was a rather new sensation for him. “I’ve not touched a woman since I was wed.” Hell, he had not even touched his wife.

“I am relieved to hear that,” his mother said, pressing her hand to her chest. “Then it isn’t too late to mend things with Glynis and convince her to stay with ye.”

Alex felt as if the ground were shifting under him. He knew Glynis was upset, but was she planning to leave him already?

“What are ye saying, Mòrag?” his father asked.

“That the two of ye are mistaken if ye don’t think these women have found ways to let Glynis know they’ve been in Alex’s bed before—and expect to be again,” she said, and Alex had the impression she was talking about herself as a young wife as much as she was about Glynis. “Ye don’t help matters, Alex, by being an even worse flirt than your father.”

“I joke with them,” he said, lifting his hands. “It means nothing.”

“And just how is Glynis supposed to know that?” his mother asked.

“I gave her my promise.”

“Just as every philandering husband in the Highlands has done before ye,” she said, “including her first husband and your father.”

“I will no change my household to suit ye, M—”

“Ye will do it, da,” Alex said, cutting his father off. Then he left them to find his wife.

Alex found Glynis walking alone on the beach. She was barefoot, his island lass. Seeing her like this, he felt a deep longing for her that had nothing to do with salvaging his pride or needing a mother for his daughter. Alex wanted this woman at his side, and to have her look up at him with a smile in her eyes.

When Glynis saw him, she stood still and waited for him, with the wind blowing her hair and skirts. She looked so pretty, but her eyes were sad.

“Sit with me?” he asked.

She gave him a tight nod and let him take her hand. He led her up the beach to sit in the tall grass where it was dry. Still holding her hand, he told her about his conversation with his mother and father.

“I’m going to try to explain this to ye and be truthful,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, “though ye won’t like part of what I have to tell ye.”

“I want the truth,” she said.

“All right,” he said. “From the time I was a young lad, my father told me that men like us needed women like we need the sea—and that one woman would never do for us. So there were always women about my father’s house. Willing women, if ye catch my meaning.”

He glanced at Glynis. She was staring out to sea, but she was listening.

“That was just how it was,” he said. “I thought nothing I did before we wed should matter. But I didn’t realize how it might seem to ye, being here.”

Glynis was thoughtful for a long moment. Finally, she turned to him and said, “Would ye want to share a house with men I had bedded?”

“I had the impression there was only one man before me.” And if Alex had his way, that man would be weighed down with chains at the bottom of the sea. Speaking very carefully, he asked, “Have there been many?”

This, of all things, brought a smile to her face. She touched his arm, and it amazed him how the slight gesture could soften him. She had him in the palm of her hand. God help him if she ever knew it.

“There was only the one,” she said. “And he was worthless.”

Alex had the sense not to tell Glynis how much this pleased him, but he lifted her hand and pressed it to his lips. “We’ll leave for North Uist tomorrow, and we’ll make ourselves a different kind of home there.”

“For certain,” Glynis said, and gave a short laugh.

“I told my father he must change his household if he wants us to ever come here again.”

“He’ll do that?” she asked.

“I suspect my mother will do it for him.” Alex could almost hear her:
I’ll stay just until Fergus’s whores can be replaced with decent clanswomen—preferably toothless, elderly ones.
“She’s been wanting to do it for years.”

“I don’t want the women to be turned out with nowhere to go,” Glynis said.

Alex cupped her cheek with his hand. She was such a good woman—as Ilysa said, better than he deserved.

“I’ll ask my mother to send them home to their families or find husbands for them.” If Alex had to figure out how to deal with a wife, every man should.

“What about that woman, Mary?” Glynis asked in a quiet voice.

“I did bed her a few times, but I ended it before I went to the gathering at Shaggy Maclean’s,” he said. “I’m no proud of what I did, for she was married at the time, but I broke no vow.”

“I heard ye with her outside,” Glynis said, her voice still very low.

“I was asking her to leave.” He took her hand and kissed it again. “Glynis, ye are the only one I want. Are ye determined to make me suffer longer, or will ye come to bed with me now?”

Glynis looked at him with her clear gray eyes. “I will.”

Finally, he was taking his wife to bed—a place where he knew his ground.

W
hat are ye doing?” Glynis cried when Alex lifted her off her feet and started carrying her up to the house.

“I’m letting everyone know that I’m dying to ravish my wife,” Alex said, grinning at her.

Glynis felt embarrassed and pleased at the same time by his intention to proclaim to the entire household that she was the one he’d chosen, the woman he wanted. The guests who had stayed overnight cheered as Alex carried her around the hall—overjoyed, no doubt, that they would have a fine story to tell. As Alex carried her toward the stairs amid the shouts, Glynis caught a glimpse of Sorcha sitting between his parents. All three were clapping, and Alex’s parents both looked happy for once.

“Ye can put me down now,” she said when they reached the bedchamber door.

“Hell no,” he said. “I’m no risking the bad luck that lurks in doorways a third time.”

She rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help laughing when he kicked the door open and carried her through. As soon as he set her on her feet, he swung the door shut and pressed her against it. The laughter died in her throat when she saw the longing in his eyes.

“Ach, I’ve been wanting ye so much,” he said, holding her face in his hands.

Her eyes closed as his mouth met hers. For a long, long time, he just kissed her, not as a step to something else, but as if he wanted to do it forever. His fingers slid into her hair and supported her head as their tongues moved against each other in deep kisses.

Glynis felt adrift and breathless as he kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, her hair.

“
Cronaím thú,
” he said. I missed you.

His hands slid down her shoulders and arms. As they fell into deep kisses again, he held her in a firm grasp with his hands splayed over her ribs and back. Her breasts ached for his touch. Desire swept through her. She reached between them and rubbed her hand over the length of his erect shaft, drawing a deep groan from him and a sigh of her own.

“
O shluagh,
” he said, calling on the fairies for mercy.

Alex’s mouth grew hungry, feverish, devouring hers as he ground his hips against her, pinning her to the wall. His fingers dug into her hips, and still they could not get close enough. When he lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He ran his hands under her gown along the bare skin of her thighs until he cupped her bottom.

Through their clothes she felt his erection against the sensitive spot between her legs. She clung to him, urging him closer, but there was too much fabric between them. It had been days and days since he’d been inside her. She wanted to meld into his heat, to go to the dark depths of passion with him. She rocked against him, begging.
Please, please, please.

Tension radiated between them as he tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth in barely controlled violence. But she wanted to feel the full force of his desire for her, unleashed, unshackled, freed of all restraint and caution.

He had one hand on her breast, massaging and kneading, as he held her buttocks with the other. His tongue and breath were hot in her ear. “You’ve too many clothes on. I must feel ye.”

She heard the ping of buttons as he pulled her bodice down.

“Aye,” she breathed when his rough palm cupped her bare breast. Her head fell back against the door. She was lost in a haze of desire as he squeezed her nipple and dragged his tongue and lips along the side of her throat.

“I need ye now,” he said, panting against her ear. “Oh, please, Glynis, right now.”

Aye. Now.
She tugged at his shirt, but they were pressed too tightly together. His mouth covered hers again as he moved his hips away just long enough to jerk his shirt up.

“Oh!” She felt the tip of his shaft against her. When he paused, squeezing his eyes shut, she dug her fingers into his shoulders. “Now, Alex.
Now.
”

He made a strangled sound, and in one deep stroke, he was inside her. She wrapped her legs tighter around his hips. She bit his shoulder as Alex’s control broke, and he rammed against her, again and again. Her back banged against the door, and she didn’t care.

“Harder, harder,” she cried, as their bodies slammed together. She heard herself scream as he surged against her, and a shattering rapture shook her.

Alex collapsed against her, his body hot, his breathing harsh against her ear. She shivered as he ran his hands along her thigh and over her hip.

“Hold on to me,” he said, and then he carried her to the bed. With one hand, he pulled the bedclothes back and then fell sideways with her across the bed.

“By the saints, ye nearly killed me,” he said. “But it was like touching Heaven.”

He enfolded her in his arms and slung his leg over her as well. She fell sound asleep surrounded in his warmth.

Glynis didn’t know how long she had been sleeping when she was awakened by a breeze tickling her face. She opened her eyes to find Alex blowing on her.

“Why are ye doing that?” she asked with a slow smile.

“I woke up and wanted your company,” he said. “Do ye mind?”

“Nay.”

“Ye see, I’ve been lying here thinking of ways to make up for being useless the night of our wedding.” He had a devilish glint in his eyes that made the room suddenly seem warm. “I probably know a few things we haven’t tried yet.”

It would be easy to let him distract her, but Glynis had a serious question.

“Why did ye get so drunk that night?” she asked.

“I hadn’t seen Connor, Duncan, and Ian in a long while and—”

“I think it was something else,” she said.

Alex looked away and did not speak for a while. Finally, he said, “Ye know I had never wanted to marry—you’ve met my parents, so now ye know why.”

Her stomach tightened, but she had asked the question so she should have been ready to hear the answer.

“When they arrived at Dunscaith, it brought all that back to me—the bickering and fighting, the endless misery between them.” He turned his gaze back to her and touched her cheek with the back of his fingers. “It worried me for a bit, but it didn’t last.”

“I’m glad ye told me the truth,” she said. “I want ye to promise ye will never lie to me.”

“I won’t lie to ye,” Alex said. “And now I’ll tell ye what I want.”

“What’s that?” she asked.

“I am happy to fight my clan’s enemies—in truth, I enjoy it—but I don’t want to fight with you.”

“We might argue once in a while,” she said.

He shrugged. “I want things peaceful between us.”

Glynis suddenly felt uncomfortable with her gown bunched around her. She sat up on the edge of the bed and tried to untwist it. “I hope I can find a needle and thread so I can fix my gown myself. If I have to ask one of the servants to do it, they’ll be talking about us for weeks.”

“Let’s take your gown off all the way,” he said, trailing his finger over her bare shoulder. One light touch, and she was like soft butter. What this man did to her.

He sat up and unfastened the rest of the buttons down her back and then pressed soft, warm kisses down to the base of her spine. Then he pushed her gown down farther and nipped at her bottom, sending little thrills of sensation that echoed in a tightening of her womb.

“Stand up so we can get this off ye,” he said.

When she rose up, he helped her step out of her gown. Then with sure hands on her hips, he pulled her back to sit between his legs. He moved her hair to one side and kissed her neck while one hand fondled her breast and the other inched up the inside of her thigh.

“When ye said ye wanted company,” she said, “I thought ye meant ye wanted someone to talk to.”

“I do,” he said. “I want ye to tell me all the ways ye want me to touch ye.”

“This is good,” she managed to say, as he started stroking and circling between her legs. She let her head drop back against his shoulder.

“Ye are beautiful like this,” he said in a hoarse whisper, as his fingers worked their magic. “I want to hear ye keen and moan when ye find your release.”

She gripped his leg as the sensations grew stronger. His shaft was hard against her buttocks, but he seemed intent on her pleasure. When her breathing changed, he sucked on her shoulder and stuck his finger inside her. All the while, he was rolling her nipple between his thumb and finger. She arched her back as the tension grew inside her until she feared she might snap in two.

But this was Alex in control, the skilled lover who knew how to please a woman, any woman.

“Stop,” she said, pulling his hand away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She turned and pushed him back on the bed.

“I want to feel ye inside me, with nothing between us,” she said, as she leaned over him. “I want to touch ye in a way no other woman has. I want to touch your heart.”

“Glynis, I can’t—”

“I’m no saying ye have to love me right away,” she said. “But I can’t do things halfway, Alex. I’m not that sort of person.”

“Ah, Glynis, don’t.”

“I love ye, Alexander Bàn MacDonald,” she said. “I won’t say it again because I know it makes ye uncomfortable to hear it. But ye need to know that ye hold my heart in your hands.”

She straddled him and slid slowly down onto his shaft.

“Jesus, Glynis,” he said.

“It means ye can hurt me badly,” she said. “And if ye do, I won’t be able to forgive ye. Not ever.”

“I won’t hurt ye,” he said as if it were a plea, as they began to move together slowly. “I won’t.”