The Scandalous Duke Takes a Bride (6 page)

Jessica’s maid’s face was downcast as she knelt to pick up the accoutrements that Jessica had swept to the floor in her rage to find the hat pin her mother had given her.

Jessica slid off her stool to her knees, picked up the tray that held her perfumes, and started placing random items from the floor onto the silver dish.

“I’m sorry.” Everything angered her and sent her into silly, stupid, unpredictable rages.

“It’s not a worry, my lady.”

“Why is everyone being so nice to me?” She felt tears building behind her eyes. She hated uncertainty, especially when it concerned her future. “I don’t deserve the kindness you have all been careful to dole out. I’ve been wretched these past few weeks.”

“It’s not a bother at all. We understand everything you’ve gone through, my lady.”

She wished more than anything her secret could have remained her secret alone, but it was out in the open and the past couldn’t be changed. “Too kind by far. I don’t think my late husband would agree with your benevolence.”

“He’s well and dead now, isn’t he?”

The candor in Louise’s voice brought a smile to Jessica’s lips and a few tears leaked down her cheek.

“He is. And it should be a blessing.”

“I can’t disagree with you, my lady.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So you’ve already said,” her maid pointed out.

“What would I do without you, Louise?”

“You needn’t think on it. I haven’t gone anywhere, nor do I have plans to leave, my lady.”

Jessica set the tray back on her vanity and took a deep breath as she looked at her pale complexion in the mirror. She stretched the darkened skin under her eyes, trying to make herself look livelier.

It didn’t work. Not really. It was so obvious that she was still on the mend, even though three weeks had passed since the miscarriage.

“I’m afraid you have your work cut out for you. I’m not sure you’ll be able to cover the signs of fatigue that have plagued me over the past month.”

Jessica pulled at one of the limp red curls hanging about her shoulders. Her hair hadn’t been properly set in weeks, either.

Louise placed the items she’d picked up from the floor back atop the vanity and smiled at Jessica in the mirror. “You’ll look just as you did at the viscountess’s ball two months past. No one will be the wiser that you’ve been ill. That I can promise.”

“Only because they are none the wiser,” Jessica said.

Her maid shrugged and pulled Jessica’s hair away from her face so she could put maquillage on to cover the fading signs of fatigue.

It was important that she be perfectly presentable within the hour. Hayden had sent a card—unsure of the state she’d be in, she assumed—insisting that he sit with her over tea today. He’d been specific about the insistence part, underlining it twice. And besides, he never sent a card ahead of his visits.

The first week after the miscarriage he’d come by every day, sitting with her in silence because she couldn’t speak, nor did she know what to say. He would occasionally read the paper to her, or sometimes a few verses from her favorite poets. When she’d been able to get out of bed on her own, he walked her around the house and sometimes out to the garden if the weather was decent and they’d sit in the sun and have their morning tea. Finally, when she’d had the strength to do all that on her own, she’d asked him to give her some time alone, to stop calling on her daily or she’d be constantly reminded about just how weak she was. He’d disagreed but ceded the argument in the end.

It seemed his patience had run thin, hence the calling card.

While it had only been a little over a week since she’d seen him last, she knew better than most that she couldn’t keep refusing his company. It was time she came out of the doldrums and faced life head-on. She’d handled every situation that way previously, and it was time to get back in the saddle, as the saying went.

Not ten minutes after Hayden’s note had arrived, she’d received another from Mr. Warren—the rapscallion set to inherit everything that should be hers, especially considering it was her money that had put the estate back in order.

Mr. Warren was the last person she wanted to see, and she knew without doubt that he was looking for signs that she might be increasing. He’d find no indication, not that anyone had even known she had been with child—except her husband, of course, for he’d seen fit to end it.

Her pregnancy had been her secret until Hayden had further investigated the will of the estate, at which point she’d been forced to tell him why having the next heir was impossible.

The less Warren knew, the longer she could stay in the house that had been her home these past eight years. The sad truth of the matter was that she had nowhere else to go. Who would take in society’s most debauched, reckless countess?

There was only one answer to that.

No one.

In a sense, she had dug her own grave where the
ton
was concerned. No one would allow her entrance into
respectable
society, and though it was good form to not send a widow an invitation for the first six months after her husband’s death, Jessica couldn’t recall the last time an invite had been directly sent to her and not her husband.

While that had never bothered her before, it bothered her a great deal now.

Hayden’s standing in society would only get her so far. She was in every sense of the word a pariah and had been for too many years to count.

She might not have cared before her husband’s heart had given out, but without his name behind her she was no one. To her surprise, she now cared a great deal about her standing and reputation. That bastard husband of hers couldn’t have held on for a few more months? But what would that have brought her except the humiliation of divorce? He’d threatened to do just that before his sudden death.

Jessica raised her hand to stall Louise and dropped her head heavily against the vanity with a pitiful moan. “I need another day. Another week before I see or entertain anyone.”

“You’ll always need more time. If you while away your days indoors, you’ll waste away to nothing in a matter of months. His Grace is a good, kind friend. You’ll be happy enough to see him and wonder what all the fuss was about in avoiding him once you’ve had tea with him again.”

“I don’t mind seeing Hayden nearly as much as I mind having to entertain Warren.”

“There is no reason you can’t find yourself fashionably late and with no time to spare when Mr. Warren comes by the house.”

Jessica raised her head and stared at her quick-thinking maid. “You’re brilliant, Louise. If I’ve never said it before, heed it now and gloat if you must. You are brilliant and I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”

“I wouldn’t want to work for anyone else, my lady. You have the kindest soul of any gentlewoman I ever worked for.”

Jessica brushed her hair back with her fingers and leaned in closer to the mirror to see how well the maquillage covered her pale complexion. “Now I think you’re using flattery instead of telling me the truth.”

“I wouldn’t dare, my lady. Now sit up so I can properly cover the sorrow that has assailed you these last few weeks.”

She did as asked and let Louise work her magic. Jessica closed her eyes as the makeup brush and puff slid over her skin. When Louise was done, Jessica stood from the vanity, catching sight of her mother’s hat pin in the stack of items left to be righted from her angry outburst. She pulled it from the tray.

A light rapping came at the door just before Mrs. Harper admitted herself.

The housekeeper dipped her head on entering. “His Grace has arrived, my lady. We’ve settled him in the morning parlor.”

Jessica looked at her reflection in the mirror, assessing the dark lines now covered with concealing powder. She definitely looked better now than she had the last time she’d seen her friend.

Why did Hayden always have to be five minutes early? It wouldn’t do to make him wait, either. If she did, he’d just barge into her private chambers and demand an audience; years of letting him do exactly that was at fault here.

“This will do, Louise.” She patted her fingers over her skin, smoothing away bits of loose powder.

Louise stood behind her. Her eyes were wide, her expression sincere. “He won’t notice anything amiss.”

“Yet he will know not all is well.”

“Maybe so,” the maid said sympathetically. “But he’ll know you’re on the mend, my lady.”

Jessica raised a disbelieving brow. She wasn’t so sure of that.

“That’s not to say you aren’t faring better now than when he saw you last,” Mrs. Harper corrected the maid.

“He’ll see that I’m the same as before.” Jessica stood from the small velvet stool and pressed her hands down the front of her dress. “Nothing fits right.”

“It’ll take time to heal,” Mrs. Harper said. “Marie will be sure to put some weight on you before the fall months arrive.”

Marie was the household cook and favored creamy French foods. Jessica probably would be cursing her weight gain before long.

Jessica smoothed her hands over the few loose hairs at the back of her head. Her appearance would have to do. “I had better make haste. Hayden hates to be kept waiting.”

On entering the parlor, Jessica said, “I’m sorry I took so long, darling. I overslept this morning and found myself rushing to throw together an ensemble.”

Hayden wasn’t sitting patiently; in fact, he looked as though he contemplated heading toward her bedchamber just as she entered the parlor. His hat was tossed carelessly on the sofa and his cane leaned up against a small, round side table. He approached her, his gaze assessing her from head to toe, lingering on her face as he wrapped his hands around her upper arms and held her at arm’s length to further inspect her.

“You look well,” he said, surprised.

She rolled her eyes, leaned in and kissed his cheek, and pulled away from him to fall gracefully to the sofa. “Of course I’m well. I’ve done nothing but rest for what feels like forever.”

“It was needed. Though I wish you would have let me come by sooner.”

“I needed time to myself, to think about my future.”
To heal without your ever-watchful eye.
She would much rather have been able to throw herself into the bustle of society and forget everything that had happened. Instead, in her weakened state, she’d been confined to her house.

“Sit with me, Hayden.” She indicated the seat available beside her.

He took the chair across from her, perched himself on the edge, and placed his elbows on his knees. He was still assessing her and Jessica had to fight the urge to check that her makeup was still in place.

“I can’t stay long,” he said. “I just needed to see you, make sure you were well.”

“You should have come another time, then.” Or better yet, he should have waited until she was ready to see him again. It was difficult to face him after everything she’d been through. After everything he’d
seen
and done for her. They hadn’t talked about that night. And she hoped he never mentioned it, for she needed no reminders. But it would always stand between them.

“Jess…”

She raised one brow at the shortened form of her true name. He often called her Jess when he was displeased with her. “What could I have possibly done to disappoint you, Hayden?”

“I’m worried, not disappointed.”

“I’m feeling much more myself.”

“And that’s what scares me half to death about you.”

She furrowed her brows. “Why should it? Have I always been a great disappointment to you?”

“Stop putting words in my mouth. You know that’s not true. We wouldn’t be friends if I didn’t have the highest regard and respect for you.” He sat back in the chair, his dark eyes narrowing. “I should have stopped by sooner.”

“And I can’t thank you enough for respecting my wishes by not doing so. You’re not my keeper, Hayden.”

“Someone needs to be.”

“Someone like my husband?” she asked, suddenly outraged. “I’m free of the man and it feels like everyone in my life is trying to slip a hood over my face and jesses around my ankles to keep me leashed and away from any potential trouble.”

“Jess.”

“Stop calling me that,” she snapped, smacking her hands against the cushions on either side of her. After taking a calming breath, she placed her hands over her eyes to block out the light around her. She wanted to hood herself and be blind to the outside world for eternity sometimes. “I’m sorry. I find myself overwhelmed at the oddest of times.”

The sofa dipped next to her. Hayden pulled her hands away from her face, and his comforting arms wrapped around her. “I can’t promise your life will get easier, but you never have to pretend with me, Jess.”

“It’s been easier to hide from society. I’m never one to be afraid, but when I imagine facing those who have disliked me for so long I’m filled with fear.”

“You never cared what they thought before, and I don’t think you should start. I won’t let you hide away in this smothering household for much longer.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the closeness and comfort of his embrace. They’d been much more intimate around each other ever since …

“It’s been difficult to leave. But you’ll be happy to know that I’m ready to face the
ton
again.” Why she admitted to something she wasn’t entirely sure about she couldn’t say.