The Mourning Woods - 03 (5 page)

“OK, let’s back up for a second,” I said. “I figured out the Bigfoot part already. Ed googled Alma and that’s what popped up. But you’ll forgive me if I say that makes no fucking sense.”

“Oh, please,” Sally said, then gave me one of her trademarked eye-rolls. “Like you have any clue as to what makes sense.”

“Maybe not,” I shot back, “but I do know that vampires versus Bigfoot...” I sputtered to a halt as James shot me a warning glance. I turned my head to see our waitress walking over. Thinking quick, I added, “would be a hell of a movie to see on the SyFy channel. I hear Roger Corman is producing it.”

* * *

Once our waitress had walked away, taking with her an order for yet another espresso, I continued. “I’m not following this. Why the hell are vampires in a war against a bunch of giant smelly apes?”

“Like you’re one to talk about hygiene,” Sally quipped.

“Children, please,” James said, once again echoing the conversation from nearly a year ago. “I’m sorry, Dr. Death, but you are greatly over-simplifying things. Were these Bigfeet, as you seem insistent on calling them, merely apes then there wouldn’t be an issue. You don’t see us warring against the mountain gorillas of Uganda, now do you?”

“No,” I replied. “Or at least I guess not.”

“Trust me, we’re not,” he went on. “The creatures you are referring to are far more than giant primates. They are ancient forest spirits and their somewhat brutish forms are simply how they choose to physically manifest themselves.”

“So they’re like ghosts?”

“Not quite,” he explained patiently. He thought about it for a moment before continuing. “They’re more akin to human stories about brownies, pixies, or gnomes...just a tad larger.”

“And meaner too,” I replied, remembering how one had chucked a bowling ball sized rock at me with enough force to almost crush my ribcage.

“Quite so. Even the least of their kind possesses the physical strength of a vampire several times your age.”

I considered this. I had seen James in action. The guy was practically
Superman
compared to me. The Khan had been even older, thus it stood to reason he was even stronger than James was. That being said, the Khan hadn’t exactly been a prime physical specimen. Hell, that was being generous. The Khan was a big fat fuckhead of a vampire, probably tipping the scales at five hundred easily. I looked like a Calvin Klein model next to him. Ancient vampire powers or not, I just couldn’t envision him moving with the same grace or speed I had seen James use. Still, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have been a formidable foe. For all I know, he could’ve been the
King Kong Bundy
of the undead world. If these monsters could take him down, then what kind of chance would I stand against them?

The thought of the Khan reminded me that I was probably being a rude asshole. Damn, the whole vampire lifestyle must be starting to get to me. Enough with the self-pity. At the very least, I could be considerate toward James. This guy was his vampire dad, so to speak.

“My condolences,” I said.

“Eh?” he grunted, taking another sip of espresso. Across from him, I could see Sally giving another eye-roll.

However, I wasn’t a heartless bitch like her, so I continued, “I’m sorry about the Khan. He was your sire after all. How are you holding up?”

To my surprise, he actually chuckled in response. “Thank you, Dr. Death. You’re the first person actually to ask me that. I have to admit, though, once you reach my age, feelings such as regret, remorse, or grief just don’t have the same punch as they used to. Ogedei Khan’s passing is regrettable. He was a piece of living history. Regardless, my dealings with him have been limited as of the past few centuries and truthfully we were never really close to begin with.”

“What about Gan?” Sally asked. I knew for a fact that she despised Gan. No doubt, she was asking because she knew the topic would make me squirm. Sally and I had an interesting relationship to say the least. No matter how close we might or might not be, she always took perverse pleasure in annoying the shit out of me.

“Suffice to say, I think Gansetseg will get over it quickly,” James replied. “She’s been in her father’s shadow for three hundred years. Whatever grief she might feel has been eclipsed by the opportunity it opens up. When last I saw her, she was consolidating her father’s power base beneath her, and being brutally efficient about it as well. Oh, by the way, she sends her love.” A smirk worked its way into the corners of his mouth as he said this last part.

I sighed in response and then glared daggers at Sally, who I could see opening her mouth for some kind of asshole comment. She threw me a saucy grin in return and then changed the subject. “So where have you been? Didn’t this all go down three months ago? That’s a long time to play dead.”

“Nothing escapes you, does it, my dear Sally?” he commented. “A fair question. After the Khan’s forces fell, I found myself trapped behind enemy lines. For weeks, I was forced into the position of guerilla, pun notwithstanding. I’d bury myself in the desert sands during the day, and then do my best to avenge my fallen brothers during the night. Eventually I made contact with Gansetseg’s forces and was able to get back to friendly territory.”

“And that brings you back here?” I asked.

“Not quite,” he said. “As with any war, there is diplomacy involved. I was summoned to Europe to meet with the remaining Draculas and discuss options. Open warfare is in neither of our species’ best interests. The world has changed so much since the last time we clashed.”

I listened in rapt interest. This was starting to get good. I was always up for a good monster versus monster yarn. Unfortunately, Sally had to play story cock-blocker.

“What about the Draculas?” she asked. “With the Khan dead, there’re only twelve of them. They have any replacements in mind?” The tone of her voice implied that she knew something I didn’t. Not that it was surprising. Sally seemed to be at the center of the vampire gossip circles. She was all ears. She collected information like...well, like my roommate, Tom, collected toys. The only difference was that Sally’s holdings were often worth something.

“As I said, nothing escapes you,” James replied. “What I am about to say is not public information, but I am told I am up for consideration as a new member of the Draculas.”

“WAY TO GO, JAMES!” I shouted and held up my hand for a high-five.

“So much for not making it public,” Sally sniffed. This time even James sighed. Seeing their reaction, I lowered my arm.

“Your enthusiasm aside,” he said, “it’s not as cut and dry as that. There are other candidates being considered as well. With the specter of war that’s currently hanging over us, this little competition comes at an ill-advised time. If I didn’t think it would constitute an insult of the highest degree, I would gladly back out of consideration.”

“Competition?” I asked. “What, do you all have like thirty days to see who can rack up the highest body count?”

“Nothing quite so simple, I’m afraid. Ultimately, the Draculas will make the final decision. However, as is often the case with multiple hopefuls, it would not be uncommon for a few of them to drop out of the running
permanently
.”

“I see.”

“Therein lies the problem. The Draculas hold vampires of my age to a high standard, but even they are forced to admit that trying to avert a bloody conflict while continually looking over my shoulder is a daunting task. That, Dr. Death, is what brings me here tonight.”

Oh, crap. I had gotten so caught up in James’s drama that I had completely forgotten that I was also in the Draculas’ crosshairs. This did not bode well. I remembered back to my time in Asia. Gan had been sputtering off some nonsense about how the Freewills of old used to lead the vampire armies against their enemies. Fuck! I could barely keep my D&D party from getting ambushed. I’m about as far from being West Point material as they get.

Seeing the panicky look that was starting to appear on my face, Sally did as expected. She sat back, took a long pull from her coffee, and smirked. Bitch! One of these days I was going to...oh, who was I kidding? Chances are I’d have some Sasquatch wiping me off the heel of its foot before I had a chance to even think of something appropriately Sally-worthy.

Instead, I decided to ignore her. I turned to James and said, “I know the Draculas are pissed at me for what happened to the Khan, but they’re making a massive mistake if they think that making me a general in some half-assed army of darkness is going to...”

I was interrupted by James spewing espresso at me. Ewww. He choked for a moment and then dissolved into laughter. Glad to know I was so amusing.

Finally, after a few moments, he got himself under control. “Oh, that was rich,” he said. “I do thank you for the laugh. It’s been a while. I’m sorry, but the thought of
you
standing at the head of our forces...well, don’t take this the wrong way...”

“General Patton you are not,” Sally finished for him.

“Quite true, Sally. Alas, that was never the Draculas’ intention. They can be ruthless leaders, but they aren’t insane. Your status as the Reborn Freewill grants you certain liberties, not the least of which is that our ruling coven would prefer not sending you forth a lamb to the slaughter.”

Their mockery of my abilities aside, I breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, that’s good to...”

“I’m not finished,” James interrupted, wiping his chin with a napkin. “Your status as a Freewill comes with certain downsides as well. I heard from Gansetseg about your altercation with the wizard. If they’re aware of your existence, it’s reasonable to assume other factions of the supernatural world are as well, including the Alma.”

“Is that why they attacked when I was over there?”

“No. Otherwise, you would have been a prime target. I believe that to be just a coincidence. Still, it is prudent to assume they are aware of you by now. This is where you come in.”

“I’m all ears,” I replied with a complete lack of enthusiasm.

“The Alma are a caste based society. They place great weight upon one’s station in life. Their chieftains are given all the trappings of royalty. So too are the ranks of enemies given great consideration. The slaying of the Khan was a great moment for them. Much honor has been heaped upon those responsible.”

“Yeah, but I’m just a...”

“We know,” Sally quipped.

James ignored her and continued, “The Alma are a very spiritual race as well. Great heroes and others who their legends speak of are afforded the same honors as their highborn. Once again, so too with enemies.”

“I’m not even remotely following you.”

“The First Coven has reached out to the Alma in an attempt to avert a war. The Alma in turn have shown themselves to at least be open to discussion. However, due to their victory against the Khan, they see themselves as having the upper hand. They’re willing to talk, but they insist on setting the rules for this engagement. Their first demand is that these talks take place in person between the upper echelons of both sides.”

“I see where this is going,” Sally chimed in. “The Draculas, not being stupid, aren’t about to waltz right into the lion’s den.”

“An over-simplification, but essentially true,” James confirmed. “Being that Dr. Death is the long lost Freewill of vampire legend...”