The Light of the World (27 page)

I start the journey across the roof after I've
calmed my breathing. I clear my throat and look down. I'm still
winded and starting to feel exhausted from the adrenaline rush.

I get to the lowest point where the grass looks
lush and a bunch of old bushes sit against the house. His gardens
surrounding the conservatory are beautiful.

I don’t know how to get off the roof. I slide to
the corner where I think the downspout will be. I slide my hands
down the roof to the gutter. I grip it and let my legs fall off the
back. The metal cuts into my already sore hands. I swing back and
forth for a moment. The windows of the conservatory are empty. He
isn’t there. I reach for the downspout and kick my legs until they
reach it. I shimmy down like at Wyatt's house. When my feet touch
the ground they sting. I turn to run but standing on the grass with
his arms cross and a huge smile playing with his lips, is
Constantine.

He claps his hands and I drop to my knees.

"That was amazing my love. Really I never ever
imagined you would grow to be so resourceful. No wonder they put
you in a tower."

The first step he takes toward me brings tears
to my defeated eyes. I slump over and sob.

He stops and watches me. "Don’t cry. Please. It
breaks my heart."

I shake my head, "You don’t have a heart." I
sob.

His look is pained, "I know I don’t. I gave it
to you over seven hundred years ago and I've never asked for it
back."
I cry harder. My bitchy brain is chanting 'it's a trick' but my
heart is remembering his tender love.

I smell the ocean in the air. The Nixie are
calling me.

I look up at him. He knows my thoughts. He can
read my face.

He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms again,
"You really think you can outrun me?"

I shake my head. "I know I can't."

He walks to me and lifts me from the ground. His
fingers are soft and gentle where they touch. "I have loved you for
all of eternity Rayne."

I wrap my arms around him and kiss him,
fervently.

His lips try to keep up, but I am moving fast. I
run my hands through his thick dark hair and tug on it slightly. He
moans into my mouth. His tongue caresses mine as I suck it. He
almost drops me. I wrap my legs around him. He sits down on the
grass and lies on his back. I am on top, dry humping him. I kiss
and almost get lost in the show. He tastes like every sin I've ever
eaten all mixed into one. He is delicious. But I can't seem to eat
him. Something blocks it.

His hands are cupping me and grinding me into
him. I struggle from his grip and stand. I make like I'm about to
undo my jacket and instead I break into a run. My legs explode with
the effort and energy. The Nixie slide from the water in twitching
movements. Hundreds of them line the shores. They were waiting for
me. I could have heard them singing in the water, if I had listened
close enough.

I leap from rock to rock and push hard. I see a
blonde one first. She twitches and jerks in slow movements towards
me. They are the scariest shit I've ever seen on land. Her smile is
bright but her eyes flicker behind me. I push harder. I know he's
right behind me. I leap for the Nixie. They swarm around me
instantly and twirl. I am lost in the cyclone of them until we are
in the water again.

They swim me out fast. Constantine can swim
fast, but not as fast as Nixie can. I struggle for the surface.
When I reach it I bob amongst the hundreds of glowing heads.

He is on the shore again and laughing but I can
see he's pissed.

"Well played Rayne. Well played."

His dark eyes are red. They always turn red when
he feeds. At his feet are three dead Nixie. He licks their colorful
blood from his fingers.

He turns and leaves the shoreline.

10 Nixie have died for me.

Willow hands me the tea. I hate it. It's nettle
and Oregon grape. It tastes like cat pee smells. The mug's warmth
and the smile I get from her, make the taste tolerable.

"The Nixie are your mother's truest people. They
are the Fae. True Fae. Creatures of the earth. Water Witches. They
are the best bet for finding the sacred garden." The redhead
says.

"Why are they helping me if they know she is
going to die, when I kill her?"

The redhead shakes her head, "We don’t know. We
don’t know if they’ve helped you before or if this is a new
development."

I feel exhaustion like I've never felt, "Well I
know this is my last lifetime. This is the last time I will be
born. I've been born four other times. This is the fifth.
Apparently Constantine knew me for the last three."

The redhead frowns, "What?"

I nod, "He's known me three times. Says he loved
me all three times. Says I'm his."

This news doesn’t improver either of their
faces, "His?" The redhead, Glory, almost spits the word at me. She
looks worried, "How has he tracked you down three times? We had a
terrible time finding you. You were three when we finally did."

I'm confused, "What? I was three? Where was
I?"

Willow looks distracted, "You were in an
orphanage. The nuns said that a young girl who swore up and down
she was a virgin brought you in. She was catholic and said you
would be the antichrist being reborn."

"Antichrist? Who thinks that about their
baby?"

"A fifteen year old girl who's never had sex
before. God puts you in the place you have the best chance of
surviving the twenty-one years. He never gives you to people who
will hurt you."

Still confused, "How did you know who I
was?"

Glory shrugs, "The Nixie. They came and told us
that you had been born again and you were alone in the world. They
said you were in an orphanage. We would know you by the light in
your eyes. We can see it. We always have been able to. We searched
every orphanage until we found you. We were asked by the Nixie to
take you into our care. Lillith herself tasked it to us. Willow
volunteered and the rest is history."

"Why did you raise me like a normal kid? Why not
here where the magic is?"

Willow smiles and puts her hands over mine, "We
can't let you stay here. You weaken our magic. You bring the evil
inside of you and the evil looking for you, everywhere you go. You
taint the very earth you stand upon. This is a sanctuary."

I don’t like that answer.

"Have you ever spoken to my mother?"

Glory shakes her head, "No, only the Nixie and
other true Fae can get to her."

"How can I find her?"

Willow leans in and kisses my forehead, "We
don’t know. We know there are four types of witches and each one is
a small aspect of her. We are Fae but not true Fae. Earth Witches
guard the earth, balance the energy and care for the plants and
creatures. We heal things. The Fire Witches are the same as us,
part human and walk upon the earth. The Nixie, the Water Witches
are the only ones who are still true Fae. They have lived separate
of the humans and have remained unsoiled. We Earth and Fire Witches
have become more human than Fae. We are no longer permitted into
the sacred garden. The knowledge of the garden was lost to us ages
ago. Humans can't get to the garden, unless they are completely
pure of heart."

"I thought that the Witches were part of
Lillith?"

"We are. Lillith is an angel, she isn’t human.
We got our magic from Lillith. The Water Witches have a bit of
Lillith's blessing in them. Mostly they are Fae. True Fae means
they have no human in them. The bloodline isn’t watered down with
non magic, so to speak."

"What about the Air Witches?"

Willow points to the sky, "Opposite of the Water
Witches. Angels. Mixed Fae and angel. Mostly Angel though. Snooty.
We don’t get on with them."

The redhead crosses her arms, "The Nixie are the
only ones who know anything about the sacred garden and believe me,
they protect the secret with their lives. The Air Witches can't get
to the garden because they don’t have enough Fae. It's confusing
okay?"

I sigh and rub my temples, "Super confusing.
Yikes."

Willow looks at me with her glowing green eyes,
"You need to find the witch who handfasted you and get her to take
it off. Only a Fire Witch can handfast and only the witch who does
it can remove it. Then Wyatt can't track you." Her eyes soften, "I
believe he loves you. But better not risk it."

"You need to focus on the task of killing the
devils too Rayne. Until they die the sin is just filling up and
waiting for you to be ready. Take away the humans chance of filling
you up." Glory looks spicy.

I nod, "Okay."

I feel the dismissal lurking in the air.

"You can't stay my sweet girl."

I laugh, "What happened to the labels? You hated
labels and now you call me everything under the sun."

Willow laughs, "You called me mom. I wasn’t your
mom. I didn’t earn the title. I told you I didn’t like labels. It
was easier than explaining you were the human equivalent to an
angelic garbage disposal, who would be sacrificed if I wasn’t
careful."

I watch her eyes, "Who is it you're afraid of?
Who is coming for me?"

She flinches. She takes a deep breath and closes
her eyes. She looks like she is about to cry, "Your father."

Glory jerks her head around, "What? You spoke to
him?"

Willow nods, "I was trying desperately to divert
his attentions. He felt the change in her, like we all did. When
the Sin Eater awoke in her, he came looking for her. He told me he
had to meet with her. It was the way things were done. The way the
process worked. She needed to look upon him and know he loved her
and she was doing the world a great service. She needed to see the
martyr she was."

Glory grabs Willow's arms and shakes her, "You
spoke to Lucifer and you kept it secret."

Willow looks down, ashamed and defeated, "He
made me keep it secret."

The redhead looks crazy. She starts to cry. "No
Willow. No. What have you done?"

I'm more confused than before.

Willow looks at me as a single tear slithers
down her cheek. Her green eyes glow bright for a moment and then
fade. "I saved her." Her lips tremble as she whispers.

The light behind her eyes is gone.

She collapses on the table.

I don’t know what is happening. I reach for her
but my hands reach into a pile of daisies, instead of her. Tiny
daisies. Hundreds of them. Thousands.
"What? Willow?" I stammer and reach for the flowers. I grip them
and claw through the pile. She isn’t there. The daisies fall onto
the floor and spill off the table. I scream in a rage and panic.
Tears blind me.

"What have you done? Is this magic? Where is
she?"

I look around but Glory is on the floor sobbing.
The daisies are everywhere. Willow is nowhere.

I collapse onto the floor and sob.

Glory is rocking back and forth. I am near
screaming.

"W-w-w-what. H-h-h-happened?" I ask in sobs.

I hear noises and commotion. I hear other people
sobbing. Someone screams and thumps onto the ground next to me.

Daisies are everywhere.

"She loved you Rayne. She loved you so much. You
were always her child, in her heart you were hers." I feel hands
touching me. Rubbing my back and trying to hold me. I push them
off.

I can't listen to it.

I push myself up and stagger to the front room.
I run for the front door. I run out into the dark black garden and
down the pier. I dive off the end of it into the water. The Nixie
are there, waiting for me. They hold me and we cry together.

"Take me to my mother. Please." I whisper into
the water.

The brunette woman holding me shakes her head,
"We can't Rayne. You're not ready. You must kill the devils."

I cry into the waves, "Please. Please, I need
some help. I need someone."

They hold me and let me cry and we swim but when
I see the lights of a harbor I know they never brought me to
her.

I pull myself from the waves and look back at
the lights filling the water. I can't see much in the fog. I think
I am at Constantine's house again. It's not a harbor. It's where I
ran from. They brought me back. The house looks like his. In the
fog it does.

They must hate me for the death of Willow and
the three other Nixie. They made me come back to him. I stumble up
the rocks to the grass.

I collapse on the grass and curl into a ball.
I'm freezing. I pray for death. I know I won't be granted it, but
praying can't hurt.

I close my eyes and let the dead take me.

She is sitting making me a daisy wreath. It
feels morbid, but I let her put the crown of daisies on my head.
She smiles. The light in her green eyes is almost blinding now.

"I saw her Rayne. She thanked me. She thanked me
for loving you and being the mother she could never be."

Tears roll down my cheeks, "I'm so sorry Willow.
I'm sorry my evil killed you."

She shakes her head and wipes my tears, "No my
darling girl. You have done nothing wrong. He knew I would lie to
him to protect you. He knew it would corrupt my soul and end my
light. I was happy to protect you. When he asked me to give you to
him I lied to him. I never intended for him to take you, ever. I
told him to meet me at the house but I put the charm on the house.
He wouldn’t have found you inside the house. It was the only way to
keep you safe. I lied to him and corrupted my soul. Lying to
Lucifer means you take some of his evil. Earth Witches can't have
evil inside of them. It spreads like a weed and kills the light. My
only regret is leaving you so soon. I wasn’t ready to leave you."
Her fingers grip mine and for the smallest moment I feel the light
inside of her.

I open my eyes and wake calm as always. My heart
is broken and the pain in my chest takes a second to register.
Tears flood my eyes when I register I am in my room.