Some Hearts (4 page)

He looked ready to argue but Caleb cut him off. “Finish up bud! I’m dying to get in the water but once we do, we’ll scare all of the fish away.”

I knelt down and tugged my brother’s suit out of my bag. I dropped it onto the blanket and then peeled off my t-shirt, revealing my red bikini. I dropped my shirt to the ground and realized Caleb was staring at me.

“Uh,” he said. “I didn’t realize you had your suit on under your clothes.” His gaze swept over me and I blushed. I realized I’d probably stripped pretty unexpectedly. He shook his head and pulled his gaze back to my face. A teasing gri
n settled onto his face. “Wow, I’ll try not to stare.”

I had no idea if he was serious. He turned away from me, peeling his own shirt off. He kicked off his flip-flops and trotted off to the river, passing Ty on his way. He didn’t slow down when he reached the water’s edge. He didn’t turn to face us again until he was waist deep. Then he grinned and motioned to us.

“The water’s amazing guys! Come on in!”

I handed Tyler his
trunks and instructed him to go change on the other side of Caleb’s truck, where he’d have some privacy. I expected him to grumble but he took one look over his shoulder at Caleb, who was already in the water, and hurried on his way.

I wiggled out of my shorts, letting them fall to the ground. I noted that Caleb made a point to look the other
direction. Tyler reappeared wearing his trunks with his clothes in his hand. Everything was inside out, crumpled into a ball. He was such a boy. He tossed them onto the dirt, next to the blanket and raced to the river’s edge.

He entered the river in the same fashion that Caleb had, running until the water slowed his momentum. I raced after him, letting out a shriek as the
cold water enveloped me. I didn’t stop until the water was nearly to my waist as well.

“Oh my gosh!” I
squealed. “This is not ‘amazing’! This is freezing! You should’ve warned me!” My breaths came in sharp, little gasps. Caleb laughed as I hugged my arms to my body, futilely hoping they would warm me.

“I think it’s nice,” he said smugly.

“You would!” I shot back at him. Without thinking, I made a fist out of my hand and dragged my arm quickly across the water’s surface, causing a tidal wave that hit him directly in the face.

He sputtered at me and Tyler laughed from a few feet away.
At least the current was slow. I didn’t need to worry about Tyler getting washed away, even though the water was to his chest near the middle of the river.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Caleb cried.

He lunged at me. I shrieked again as I tried to dive out of his way. I wasn’t quick enough and his fingers gripped me around the waist. His large hands tugged and I went under, laughing, sputtering and shrieking before I had to seal my mouth shut. He pulled me close to him in an effort to hold me beneath the surface. I struggled against his body but his grip on me didn’t budge.

It was only moments before he let me go. I broke through the surface laughing and feeling acclimated to the water
temp. It was no longer freezing.

“He got you!” Tyler cried gleefully.

Caleb and I shared a look. Then we turned our gaze back to Ty. His smile dropped and he started to back up.

“
What did you say
?” I demanded as I pushed my way through the water.

“Nothing!” he sang gleefully. He let out a shriek of laughter as Caleb lunged at him next, carefully pulling him under as well. He barely dunked him, not wanting to scare him. When Tyler reemerged he was laughing so hard that Caleb and I couldn’t help but join in.

It had been ages since I’d heard Tyler laugh like that. My heart swelled with my own happiness, grateful to Caleb for making it happen. This day was just what Tyler and I both needed. I didn’t know how I was ever going to repay him.

I was sure it had to be all in my head, but being on a college campus…it felt so grown-up. Even if it was just a good old state college. As I hurried along the web of sidewalks, I gave myself a pep talk:
This really wasn’t so bad
.

And it wasn’t. The sun was shining, which was a good thing. Each of my four classes was in a different building. I thought it would be nice to get a breath of fresh air in between. I was supposed to meet Riley outside of the
student union.

I spotted her fidgeting impatiently as I moved with the flow of the crowed.

She was trying to look cool, trying to contain her smile, but I could tell how excited she was to be starting classes. I was too but neither of us wanted to look like over-eager freshman.

“Hey,” she said as I reached her side. “I g
ot this for you in the Union.” She held out a cardboard cup wearing a cardboard sleeve.

I took it from her. The scent of flavored coffee washed over me.
Cinnamon and vanilla…yum.

“Thanks.” I glanced around, noting just how many students were carrying mugs of some sort. Ah, so this was her effort to fit in. I took a sip
as we started walking, thinking that this was something I could definitely see becoming a habit.

“I’ve heard that the Dr. Clayton can be a real prick,” she announced
quietly as we hurried along. He taught Understanding Literature, our first class of the day. The only class we had together. “We don’t want to be late on the first day. I heard that if you get on his bad side, you’re screwed. And you never know what might set him off. But I do know he doesn’t tolerate people being late so we should really try to avoid that.”

I cringed. I was sure she wasn’t trying to be accusatory, but if we were late
today, it would probably be my fault. Tyler had insisted on double checking everything in his backpack. I’d stayed behind to help him, afraid he’d miss the bus if I left him alone in the middle of excavating through his things.

“Sorry about that,” I muttered.

She shrugged as we pushed our way through the crowd clogging the hallways. We’d already walked around campus, checking out our rooms ahead of time so we knew exactly where we were going. Over-eager freshman? Yes. But at least we didn’t look as lost as some of the people we passed.

“It’s fine,” she assured me. “I think we’ll be right on time.”

We reached the room and joined the small crowd that was trickling in. The room was one of the smaller ones, not much bigger than our high school English class had been. It was also already quite full.

Riley looked at me over her shoulder and wrinkled her nose. It looked like we were going to be stuck in the front row. She didn’t look too happy about it but I tried to find the bright side. In the front, I’d have to pay attention.

I had a feeling I was going to need all the help I could get.

As soon
as Dr. Clayton strode into the room, nose in the air, grim look on his face, I knew she was right. He looked like a hard-ass and he hadn’t even spoken yet. His arms were laden with papers that he dumped onto his desk.

He turned his back to us, without acknowledging anyone in the room, and began to scribble on the board. When the bell rang, peeling through the air, he twisted around to face his. He scowled at the stragglers darting into the room.

“You. Are. Late!” he barked. “Do not let it happen again.”

I glanced at Riley. She wore a smug
I told you so
look.

I knew from here on out, I was going to have to do a better job of getting out of the house on time. Mom was going to have to help Tyler with any last minute issues. That’s all there was to it.

By the end of the day, I realized the biggest difference between high school and college was obvious. The amount of homework I had was almost mind-boggling. I was taking four courses, which was pretty average, and I had hundreds of pages to be read. As the professors each went over their own syllabus, I realized I would have dozens of papers to write and a handful of projects to complete.

Broken down, maybe it wasn’t so bad. But to think about it all at once it was a bit overwhelmi
ng. Knowing I needed straight As, if I hoped to transfer, made it even more overwhelming.

I was also determined. I could do this.

***

Riley had invited me back to her dorm. She wanted to introduce me to her roommate and
a few girls she’d met. I’d gone, but only for an hour. Then I’d headed home, hoping to get a good start on my class work.

Maybe I’d even manage to get a little bit ahead.

By the time Noah called, I was ready for a break.

“How did your first day go?” he asked.

“Good. You?”

“Good. But I’m already swamped,” he admitted.

“Same here,” I agreed. “So far, it’s mostly reading.”

“I’ve got a lot of reading for tonight too,” he said. “By the end of the week, I’ve got to start in on a group project. It’s for my Sociology class. I hate group work,” he complained. “The prof assigned our groups. And maybe I shouldn’t complain because it’s not like I knew anyone in class anyway, but you just know with group work, there’s always someone that doesn’t pull their weight.”

“I don’t have any group work. But I do have a presentation coming up.” I cringed. I hated speaking in front of people. Too bad, I supposed. Because I was pretty sure that was something I was just going to have to get used to.

“How’s your roommate?” I asked.

He groaned. “I’m actually out on the quad right now. Landon’s not too bad. I guess.

“You don’t sound very convincing,” I said. “Is he a
partier?”

“Nah, kind of the opposite. I really shouldn’t complain but last night, he wanted lights out by ten. Then he was up at seven, flipping through his textbooks. He’s already
laid down what he calls ground rules,” Noah grumbled.

“And those are?” I asked.

“No drinking in our dorm room. No girls. No friends over unless it’s a weekend. He wants lights out at a reasonable hour every night. The problem is that his idea of reasonable and mine don’t quite mesh.” He let out a sigh.

“I’m sure he’ll lighten up once the year gets under way,” I tried to assure him.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I hope so,” Noah grumbled. “It should be me and you sharing a place. Not me and this putz.”

I was sure his words were meant to make me feel better, let me know that he missed me and wished I was there. They did. But they also made me feel guilty as well. I’d messed everything up by letting my grades slip the way I had.

I had to fix this. But it was going to take time.

“I miss you, baby,” he murmured into the phone.

“Miss you too. But it sounds like with the amount of schoolwork we both have, pretty soon we’ll both be so busy we won’t have time to miss each other.”

He laughed. “Not possible. No matter what else I’ve got going on, you’re always on my mind.”

I felt the same.

We talked for another half hour or so before cutting the call so we could both get back to our homework. I knew with the call fresh on my mind, I wasn’t going to be able to dive right back into my reading.

I decided to get up and stretch my legs. I headed down to the kitchen for a glass of water and maybe some watermelon.

Mom had
her back to me as I walked in. I knew instantly that this situation could only go from bad to worse. Her movements were jerky, as if they took effort. For a moment I contemplated walking out, pretending I hadn’t seen anything.

That moment passed when the bottle she’d been holding, a bo
ttle that had been blocked from my view by her body, crashed to the floor. It shattered, spraying broken glass and red wine across the white tile and cupboards.

Despite the racket she had caused, it seemed to take her a moment to realize what had happened. Her head slowly tilted downward and I realized just how far gone she was.

“Mom,” I stated flatly as she knelt down to the broken glass.

Before I could reach her, she’d grabbed a fistful. She hissed in pain as the broken glass sliced into her palm.

“Mom!” I cried this time as I hurried over to her.

She slumped against the countertop, looking at me with blurry eyes. Her hand opened and the fistful of gla
ss she’d grabbed clattered to the floor. Blood began to flow from her palm. The sickening scent of merlot assaulted my senses. Maybe under other circumstances, I wouldn’t hate the smell so much. But the circumstances were what they were. It was a smell I associated with dozens of situations similar to this one.

“Emmmry..?” she slurred.

I wanted to be angry at her but I just couldn’t be. Not right then. I tugged the dishtowel off the handle of the stove and knelt down beside her. I gingerly took her hand in mine, careful not to step in the mess of liquid that was pooling around us.

I wrapped the towel around her hand. She blinked watery eyes at me.

She was going to cry, I realized as my heart pinched. I wanted to cry too. I just didn’t have that luxury. Not right then.

“Come on,” I said as I stood, pulling her to her feet.

She stumbled and I pulled her back, not wanting her to step in the liquid that now covered the floor.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” I said. I wasn’t sure if she even heard me. Regardless, she let me guide her toward the bathroom. Once inside, I flipped the lid down and gently seated her on the toilet.

“Sorry…
Emmmry
,” she murmured.

I said nothing as I opened up the cabinet door
beneath the bathroom sink. I rummaged around for our first aid kit. I pulled it out and placed it on the countertop.

“Baby…” Mom muttered this time.

I glanced at her and realized she was looking past me. With a twisting feeling in my gut, I glanced over my shoulder.

Ty was standing in the doorway. His hair was rumpled from sleep. A wrinkle from his pillow was embedded on one cheek. He squinted against the harsh lighting of the bathroom.

“Hey, you,” I said, trying to keep my tone light. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” I moved so that I was blocking Mom from his view. Undoubtedly he’d already seen more than he needed to see.

“Something woke me up,” he said as he tried to peek around me.

“I know,” I said as I moved toward him. “A glass broke in the kitchen. Mom got a little cut. I’m just helping her get it cleaned up.”

He gazed up at me and even though I hadn’t technically lied, glass had broken, I felt like he could see right through what I was saying. Sadly, I was sure that he could.

“Is she okay?” he asked as he tried to maneuver around me.

“She’s fine.” This time, I reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder, hoping to guide him out of the bathroom. He had other plans. He ducked under my arm and darted toward Mom.

She forced a smile for him. It looked out of place on her tear-streaked face.

He swallowed hard as he frowned at her. With her seated, they were face to face. She was holding her injured hand in her other hand. Blood was seeping through the dishtowel
and trickling down her arm. He eyed up the bloody mess warily then leveled his gaze on her again.

“Does it hurt?” he demanded.

I was pretty sure, hoping even, that he’d mistaken her tears to be tears over the cut.

She nodded as another tear dribbled down.

“It does hurt baby, it hurts a lot,” she said, forcing another brave smile.

In that moment, I was nearly overtaken by my fury. I knew that she wasn’t talking about the cut. She was talking about her loss.
Our
loss. A loss she should be helping us through. Not drowning her sorrows in.

Tyler turned to me, fear in his eyes. He was clearly asking me to do something.

I pushed down my frustration. It would be pointless to take it out on Mom anyway. She was too far gone to care…or even notice. But Tyler, he was all too aware.

“I need to fix Mom up. So how about if you go back on up to bed?” I could tell he was about to protest. “There’s not enough room in this tiny bathroom for the three of us. The sooner you scoot on out of here, the sooner I can help her. Okay?”

He gave me a small nod and I moved out of the way to make room for him to pass. I moved to Mom’s side preparing to pull the bloodied towel away. I realized Ty was still standing in the doorframe. His precious little face was etched with concern.

I wanted to drop Mom’s hand, l
et her take care of herself so I could go take care of my brother. I knew she wouldn’t. If anything, she’d probably just crumple into a ball on the bathroom floor.

I let out a sigh. “Now, Ty. Bed. I’ll check on you in a little bit.”

“Okay,” he whispered. He disappeared and I could hear his feet shuffling down the hallway.

“
I’msorry
,” Mom slurred. “
Don’tknowwhathappened
…”