Say You'll Stay (37 page)

“What’s that?”

“He doesn’t love you.”

Presley turns and heads back toward me. We’re not done talking about anything, but I can’t let her go. My life wouldn’t work again without her.

“Screw you, Presley!” Felicia yells.

Presley turns, lifts her hand, and waves with just her fingers. “Bye, Felicia.”

I’m in so much trouble with this girl.

Presley

“W
E SHOULD TALK,” ZACH SAYS
as Felicia’s car drives off. I know we’re not okay. No matter what he said in front of her, or the way he kissed me. There’s a lot lying under the surface that needs to be said.

“I agree.” I enter his house were the lamp is knocked over and a bunch of papers are thrown around. “What the hell?”

“I was pissed.”

“I can see that.”

He closes the door and starts to pick up some things. “I’m still pissed.”

I figured he would be. “Can you let me at least explain myself?” I ask.

He sits down and clears a space for me. “Go ahead.”

My stomach churns as I try to formulate my response. “When I was sixteen, I wanted to marry you. I remember telling my mother that I was going to be Mrs. Zachary Hennington.” I smile. “I was so in love with you that I didn’t even care what that meant. I knew with you being a few years older it meant that it would be hard when you graduated before me, but my faith in us was impenetrable.” I was so young. “I thought if we loved each other hard enough, the rest would work out.”

“Do you have a clue what it was like for me to leave you, Presley?” Zach asks, leaning forward. “I was eighteen and going off to college where the rest of my team was screwing the cleat chasers while I was counting down the days till I could see you again.”

I rest my hand on his. “I know that. At least I thought I did. When you were gone and I had to be here alone, I was so depressed. Grace would come over and drag me out. I missed my prom because you had a game that week. I had nothing, Zach. I was nothing.”

I stand and pace his living room. It was so long ago, but it feels like yesterday. “When I was finally coming to Maine, all I could think about was how we’d have two years together again. I would have my other half. You proposed to me on my graduation day, and I thought this was really it. I knew your dream was to play ball. I think I kept telling myself that it would happen when we were done with school. I wouldn’t have to go through all of it by myself. Then you took that deal without even a hesitation. You didn’t even talk to me about it first.”

“If you think that it was easy to leave you.” He walks toward me. “You’re wrong.”

“I don’t think that.” I shake my head.

He runs his hand down his face. “Do you know how many times I replayed that moment? I did hesitate, Pres. I wanted to talk to you, but the manager told me if I walked away, I wouldn’t get that deal again. I wasn’t sure what to do.”

“I recognize that now. It took me a long time, but I do get it. I want to explain about the baby.” I draw a deep breath and expel it.

He closes his eyes and sits back on the couch. Once I’m seated, I dig deep and feel it all, just like seventeen years ago.

“You had left, and I was beyond depressed. I thought you’d stay. I really believed that you would’ve gotten off that bus, taken me in your arms, and we’d be together. I was crazy, but I loved you so much.” In my eyes we’re back to being kids. I can see the movie play out in my head. “I started getting really sick, but I chalked it up to you being gone. I could barely eat, and I was a mess.” I huff and roll my eyes. “I was so dumb. I mean, really—dumb. Angie finally forced me to the doctor, and I found out I was twelve weeks pregnant. I was already so far along. I hadn’t been eating, taking vitamins, anything. I think I cried worse that day than when you left.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” he asks.

The million-dollar question. “I wish I could give you a better answer than this,” I admit. I really regret this the most. “I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to have any part of my life. In my mind, you left me by choice, therefore you didn’t get a choice in my life.”

“Wow.” He sits back.

“I know,” I say quickly and move closer. “I know how bad that sounds, but I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I know how wrong I was. It was the worst thing I could’ve done. After two weeks though, it changed.”

He looks up. “I don’t understand.”

I was fourteen weeks pregnant, I remember that I felt this bubbly feeling. Todd was visiting, and I started screaming. He and I had spent the day watching television and eating whatever I could stuff in my face. Todd was next to me when I felt the first flutter, but I wanted it to be Zach. I can remember looking at him with tears in my eyes because they weren’t the blue eyes I wanted staring back.

“I knew I needed to tell you. I was building up my courage to call you. Todd had been pressing me to let you know. Things between him and me were platonic, but I could see he had feelings for me. He was adamant that you should know.”

For all of Todd’s mistakes and the pain he’s caused me and the boys, he was never cruel toward Zach. I never understood it, but it was what I think drew me to him in the beginning. The fact that he was fair. It also could’ve been that he thought I was irrational.

“Presley.” he lets out a shaky breath. “I can almost understand the shit we did when we were young. But we’ve been growing closer, making plans lately, and yet you didn’t mention it.”

“I was afraid. I had to go through it, not you. It was agony living through it once, bringing it up again is the last thing I wanted to do.”

Zach looks at me with a mixture of understanding and anger. It’s unfair to him, but losing that baby was horrible for me.

“What would you have named him?” Zach inquires.

I don’t know why that matters. “Why?”

“Do you even remember the conversations we had?”

I lean back a little, trying to recall what conversation he’s talking about. We had so many about what our life would be like. I smile, despite myself, thinking about the way we’d have name wars. The way he’d get so frustrated at some of my outlandish names. It was always entertaining. “Sadie and Colton,” I say as it hits me.

He looks at me without a word.

Oh, my God. “Zach,” I gasp. “That . . .”

“Logan and Violet.” His face gives nothing away about what he’s thinking, but I can only imagine. That’s why he looked like he was in pain when I said Logan’s name.

“I swear,” I beseech him. “I didn’t remember that. I tried to forget things because they hurt so much. Every time I thought back, I’d be thrown into a deeper depression.”

Zach steps forward. “I feel like I failed you.” His voice breaks. “I let you down, and I didn’t know I was doing it. There’s been this thing with you that I can’t explain.”

I take his hand in mine. “I didn’t want to destroy what we had. I’ve been so worried that it was going to disappear again. Being with you makes me so happy, but it is also terrifying.” I need to go deeper, but it’s going to hurt. “I was happy before, and my life collapsed. But when I’m with you, I feel like I belong. I’m free to just
be
with you.”

Zach’s fingers tighten.

“I didn’t want to lose my freedom. I didn’t want to lose you. So, I didn’t think about it. At all. I tried so hard to keep it buried because it couldn’t touch us. I was wrong, Zach. I was so wrong.” Tears fall from my eyes. “I love you so much. There are no more secrets. I promise.”

I watch for him to condemn me or admonish me. We can move forward if he’s willing.

He stands, without a word, and walks out of the room. Leaving me.

I sit as my insides implode. Every piece of me aches knowing that I’ve lost him. I truly thought we had a chance. After a few minutes without a word from him, I get myself together so I can walk out that door before he wrecks me. My heart can’t handle him telling me it’s over. I’ve done all I can, and I have to respect his wishes.

But it hurts so bad.

I stand and gather my things with tears falling. I weep quietly on the outside, but inside I’m screaming in denial.

My hand touches the cool door knob. As I turn it, I hear his voice. “Where are you going?”

“Please don’t say it,” I request.

“Say what?”

I turn. “Don’t tell me it’s over.”

“Okay,” he replies. “What do you want me to say, Presley?”

“That you forgive me. That you want me to stay.”

Zach takes two long strides before he’s close enough to touch. I step back and he follows. My back presses against the door and he cages me in. Zach’s fingers glide down my cheek as he wipes away the remaining wetness. “I don’t think I could ever stop loving you. I don’t want to live without you again,” he confesses. “We’re stronger than we were all those years ago. So.” He kisses my nose. “Say you’ll keep fighting with me for a long time. Say you’ll meet me at the creek every night. Say that you’ll fall asleep in my arms and deal with my shit. Presley Benson, say you’ll stay.” He’s holding my eyes with so much emotion in his own as he says that words.

My hands grip his shirt, holding on for dear life. “I’ll stay with you forever.”

The anger and sadness in his eyes is replaced with love and hope. Every word I said is true. He’s my forever. His lips press down on mine and he lifts me in his arms. I hold on as he carries me through the house to his bedroom. Our tongues slowly move against each other as we pour the last two days into this kiss.

Emotions flood me as I realize that this doesn’t have to end. We’re not walking away this time. He lays me down on the bed, and I begin to cry. I feel a mix of joy and relief as we give into each other. There’s nothing holding me back. Every moment feels so right, even more so than before.

All my cards on the table, and he didn’t fold. He went all in.

“Why are you crying?” he asks, concerned.

My girly emotions are probably scaring him. “I’m happy.”

He smiles. “I am too.”

“You make me happy.”

His hand brushes my hair back. “I love you.” He kisses me again. “So much.”

My hand rests on his chest. “I don’t want to lose you again, Zach.”

He leans down so our noses touch. “I won’t ever let you run. If you do, I’ll follow you” His lips touch mine. “I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth.”

I slide my fingers up his chest, reveling in every muscle that tenses beneath my touch. “I think we should do some of that makin’ up we used to be so good at.”

Zach rubs his nose against mine, kisses the corner of my mouth, and then descends to my neck. He sucks on the spot right below my ear that always makes me squirm. He hums against it, and I groan.

I love that we still fit so well together. I love that he still can turn me on in seconds and knows what I like. It’s like dating on speed—we rushed past all the awkward stuff and just fit. It could’ve gone very differently, though. That much time apart, other people, and the fact that we have a past . . . it might have changed the game.

He slides my straps down, kissing me along the way. Everything inside of me burns for him. “I’m going to make up with you for a while, darlin’.” He looks at me with hooded eyes. The passion that simmers beneath ignites into an inferno.

I grip his chin in my hand, forcing him to look at me. “I’m counting on that. Now, kiss me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

And he does. His lips move with mine as we tear at each other’s clothes. I want his skin against mine. There’s love to be made here, and I plan to spend as long as I need to until we’re satisfied.

He rolls me under him before slithering down my body. “I need to taste you,” he says with his eyes locked on mine.

Zach is always intense when we’re together. He conveys everything with his eyes. There’s so much spoken between us with only one look, and he’ll adjust his movements based on what he sees. It’s so damn sexy to watch, and it’s beyond pleasurable to be on the receiving end.

He kisses my stomach and rests his hand there. I look down at him and run my fingers through his hair. “I hope, Zachary.”

“Hope what, darlin’?”

“I hope that one day we can fulfill the plans we made.” I rub the side of his face. “I want to have all the things we said, including a baby. I’m just not there yet.”

He’s not asking me to either. But I don’t want him to think it’s not a desire. Zach is an exceptional man. He’s stepped up with Cayden and Logan without hesitation. He’s the kind of man that will be the father figure my boys need, and hopefully to our own children.

He climbs back up and pulls me toward him so we’re both sitting face to face. We’re naked and completely bared to each other. “I never got married or had children. There wasn’t anyone else in this world I wanted to do that with. Except for you.” His thumb glides across my lips. “You’re going to marry me someday, and I’ll be anything Logan and Cayden need. A friend, a father, and a protector. I’ll love the three of you with everything I have. And I know you’re not ready yet, but know I was ready six months ago.”

I smile and shake my head. “You’re that sure, huh?”

He grins back while pushing me against the pillow. “I’m sure that I’m going to marry you, and then we’re going to make a very special family.”