Rossum´s Universal Robots (4 page)

Helena
Why don’t you create a soul for them?

Dr. Gall
That’s not within our power.

Fabry
That wouldn’t be in our interest.

Busman
That would raise production costs. Just think how cheaply we make them; a hundred and twenty dollars each, complete with clothing, and fifteen years ago they cost ten thousand! Five years ago we still had to buy the clothes for them, but now we have our own weaving mills and even sell material at a fifth of the price of other mills. Tell me, Miss Glory, what is it you pay for a metre of cloth?

Helena
I don’t know.. I really don’t know... I’ve forgotten.

Busman
Dear dear me, and you were wanting to establish the League of Humanity! Cloth now a days is three times cheaper, miss, the prices of everything are three times cheaper and they’re still going down and down and down.

Helena
I don’t see what you mean.

Busman
Dear lady, what I mean is that the price of labour is getting cheaper! Even with its food, a robot costs no more than three quarters of a cent per hour! It’s wonderful; every factory is buying robots as quick as they can to reduce production costs, and those that aren’t are going bankrupt.

Helena
Yes, that’s right, and throwing their workers out on the streets.

Busman
Haha, well of course they are! And while they are doing that we are putting five hundred thousand tropical robots out on the Argentine pampas to cultivate wheat. Tell me, what does a loaf of bread cost where you come from?

Helena
I’ve no idea.

Busman
There, you see; in good old Europe, a loaf of bread now costs two cents; but that bread comes from us, do you see? Two cents a loaf; and the League of Humanity has no idea! Haha, Miss Glory, you do not even know if you are paying too much for a crust. Or too much for society or for anything else. But in five years’ time, dear me, do sit down!

Helena
What?

Busman
In five years’ time, the price will be a tenth of a cent. We’ll be drowning in wheat and in everything else you can think of.

Alquist
Yes, and all the workers in the world will be out of a job.

Domin
(
standing
) Yes, they will be, Alquist. They will be, Miss Glory. But in ten years’ time Rossum’s Universal Robots will be making so much wheat, so much material, so much of everything that nothing will cost anything. Everyone will be able to just take as much as he needs. Nobody will live in poverty. They won’t have jobs, that’s true, but that’s because there won’t be any jobs to do. Everything will be done by living machines. People will do only the things they want to do, they can live their lives just so that they can make themselves perfect.

Helena
(
standing
) Do you think that’s really going to happen?

Domin
That’s really going to happen. It couldn’t possibly not happen. There might be some terrible things that happen before that, Miss Glory, that just can’t be avoided, but then man will stop being the servant of other men or the slave of material things. Nobody will have to pay for a loaf of bread with his life and with hatred. You’re not a labourer any more, you don’t have to sit at a typewriter all day, you don’t have to go and dig coal or stand minding somebody else’s machines. You don’t need to lose your soul doing work that you hate.

Alquist
Domin, Domin! You’re making all this sound too much like Paradise. Don’t you think there was something good about serving others, something great about humility? Wasn’t there some sort of dignity about working and getting tired after a day’s labour?

Domin
Maybe there was. But we can’t always be thinking about the things we lost by changing the world as Adam knew it. Adam had to gain his bread by the sweat of his brow, he had to suffer hunger and thirst, tiredness and humiliation; now is the time when we can go back to the paradise where Adam was fed by the hand of God, when man was free and supreme; man will once more be free of labour and anguish, and his only task will once again be to make himself perfect, to become the lord of creation.

Helena
Now you’re confusing me; I’m only a silly girl. But I wish, I really wish I could believe in all that.

Dr. Gall
You’re younger than we are, Miss Glory. Just you wait and see.

Hallemeier
It’s all quite true. I think Miss Glory might like to have breakfast with us.

Dr. Gall
Well of course she can! Domin, make the invitation, on our behalf.

Domin
Miss Glory, please do us the honour.

Helena
But, how can I, now?

Fabry
On behalf of the League of Humanity.

Busman
In honour of the League of Humanity

Helena
Ah well, in that case....

Fabry
That’s good! Miss Glory, please excuse us for five minutes.

Dr. Gall
Pardon me...

Busman
Dear me, I must send that telegram...

Hallemeier
Hell, I nearly forgot...

(
All hurry out, except Domin
)

Helena
Why have they all gone?

Domin
To do the cooking.

Helena
What cooking.

Domin
The breakfast, Miss Glory. The robots do the cooking for us, only, er, as they’ve got no sense of taste it’s not always, er... but Hallemeier is excellent with meat. And Gall does a sort of sauce, and Busman knows how to make omelettes...

Helena
This is going to be quite a feast! And what does Mr., er, the builder do?

Domin
Alquist? Nothing. He just lays the table and, er, Fabry gets some fruit. It’s only a very modest kitchen, really.

Helena
There’s something I wanted to ask you...

Domin
I’ve been wanting to ask you something too. (
puts his watch on the table
) We’ve got five minutes.

Helena
What did you want to ask?

Domin
No, please, you started to ask first.

Helena
Maybe it’s stupid of me, but.... Why do you make female robots when,... when...

Domin
... when they don’t have, er, when gender has no meaning for them?

Helena
That’s right.

Domin
It’s a matter of supply and demand. You see, housemaids, shop staff, typists... people are used to them being female.

Helena
And, tell me, towards each other, the male robots and the female robots, are they, er...

Domin
Simply indifferent to each other. There’s no sign of any attraction for each other at all.

Helena
Oh, that’s horrible!

Domin
Why?

Helena
It’s just so... so unnatural! You don’t even know whether you’re supposed to loathe them or... or to envy them... or...

Domin
... or feel sorry for them?

Helena
Most likely, yes! No, stop it! What was it you were going to ask?

Domin
I’d like to ask you, Miss Glory, if you would marry me?

Helena
What?

Domin
Marry me.

Helena
No! What are you thinking of?

Domin
(
looks at watch
) There are three minutes left. If you don’t marry me you’ll have to marry one of the other five.

Helena
Oh for God’s sake! Why would I marry any of you?

Domin
Because they’ll all ask you one after the other.

Helena
How would they dare?

Domin
Well I’m afraid they all seem to have fallen in love with you.

Helena
Well I don’t want them to do that! I’m leaving.

Domin
But surely you wouldn’t do that, Helena, you’d make them so sad.

Helena
I can’t marry all six of you, can I!

Domin
No, but you can marry one. If you won’t have me maybe Fabry would do.

Helena
I don’t want to.

Domin
Doctor Gall.

Helena
No, no, be quiet! I don’t want any of you!

Domin
There are two minutes left.

Helena
This is awful! Marry one of the robots.

Domin
A robot isn’t a woman.

Helena
And that’s all you want, is it! I get the impression you’d... you’d marry anyone who turned up here.

Domin
Enough have been here already.

Helena
Young?

Domin
Young.

Helena
Why didn’t you marry any of them?

Domin
Because I didn’t lose my head over them. Not till today. As soon as you took off your veil.

Helena
... I know.

Domin
One minute left.

Helena
But I don’t want to, for God’s sake!

Domin
(
putting both hands on her shoulders
) One minute left. Either you look me in they eye and say something quite repulsive so that I drop you, or else...

Helena
You’re just a ruffian!

Domin
That doesn’t matter. A man is supposed to be a bit of a ruffian, that’s part of being a man.

Helena
You’re mad!

Domin
People are supposed to be a little bit mad, Helena. That’s the best thing about them.

Helena
You’re... you’re... Oh God!

Domin
There, you see? Are you ready now?

Helena
No, no! Please let go of me! You’re crushing me!

Domin
Your final word, Helena.

Helena
(
defending herself
) Not for anything in the world... but Harry!

(
Knock at the door.

Enter Busman, Dr. Gall and Hallemeier wearing cook’s aprons.

Enter Fabry with flowers and Alquist with serviette under arm
)

Domin
Everything finished in the kitchen?

Busman
(
triumphant
) Yes.

Domin
Here too.

Act One

(
Helena’s living room. Stage left, wallpapered door to music room, right, door to bedroom. Centre, window overlooking sea and harbour. Dressing table with sundry items, table, settee and armchair, chest o’drawers, desk with standard lamp, fireplace to the right, also with standard lamp. Whole room, in detail, of modern and purely feminine character
)

(
enter Domin, Fabry, Hallemeier from left on tiptoe carrying armfuls of plants and flowers
)

Fabry
Where do you think we should put them?

Hallemeier
Ouf! (
puts down load and gives blessing in a large cross at the door, stage right
) She’s asleep, asleep! She who sleeps knows nothing.

Domin
She doesn’t know a thing.

Fabry
(
puts flowers in vase
) Let’s hope, at least, today’s not the day it happens...

Hallemeier
(
likewise puts flowers in vase
) Oh don’t keep on about it, for God’s sake! Look at this, Harry, this cyclamen is beautiful. A new species, my latest one-Cyclamen Helenae.

Domin
(
looking out of window
) No ships, no ships-it’s hopeless, lads, we’ve had it.

Hallemeier
Quiet! What if she hears you?

Domin
She doesn’t know a thing. (
Yawns, as if ill
) At least the Ultimus docked on time.

Fabry
(
leaving the flowers
) Do you think it might be today when...?

Domin
I don’t know. These flowers are lovely.

Hallemeier
(
approaching him
) This primula is one of my new ones, and this is my new jasmine. In fact I’m right on the threshold of a whole new Garden of Paradise full of new flowers. I’ve found a wonderful new way to accelerate development, and all sorts of new species! Next year I’ll be performing real miracles with flowers!

Domin
(
turning
) Next year?

Fabry
Well, let’s see what happens, anyway. Any news from Le Havre?

Domin
Quiet!

(
Helena’s voice off, right
) Nana!

Domin
Everybody out! (
everyone leaves on tiptoe through the wallpapered door
)

(
enter Nana through main door, left
)

Nana
(
tidying up
) Cor, wha’ a mess! What a bunch of ‘eathens! God forgive me if I don’t...

Helena
(
back to stage, in doorway
) Nana, come and zip me up.

Nana
Alrigh’, comin, comin. (
zips up Helena’s dress
) God almighty, they’re a bunch of animals!

Helena
The robots?

Nana
Give over, I don’t even wanna say the word.

Helena
What’s happened?

Nana
They caught another another of them. Started smashing up all the moulds and models he did, grinding ‘is teeth and foamin’ at the mouth-just went crazy. Ugh! Worse than animals, they are.

Helena
Which one was it they caught?

Nana
That, that... Christ!, it ‘asn’even got a proper Christian name! That one in the library.

Helena
Radius?

Nana
Yeh, that’s the one. God, they make me sick! Not even a spider I don’t hate as much as I hate them heathens.

Helena
Don’t you even feel sorry for them Nana?

Nana
Well you hate them, and all. What d’you bring me right out here for anyway? And why can’t any of them even touch you?

Helena
I don’t hate them, Nana, not at all, I just feel so sorry for them!

Nana
You hate them. Everyone hates them, it isn’t possible not to. Even this dog hates them, won’t take a scrap of meat from them; sticks out his tail, he does, and howls as soon as he gets the smell of them.