Nice Guys Don't Finish Last (8 page)

“My name is Abdul,” his deep tone ricocheted in my head from the night at the Hippo. Picturesque of those curled lips & hypnotizing eyes locked in my deepest thoughts. The scent of his Burberry cologne stained my nose, and I could still taste it. A picture of his love penetrating me was colorful than the oceans sketched in an Augustus Jones painting.

I lied on my stomach as Abdul hopped on my back, nibbling my ears that felt like ice crystals hanging from a Christmas tree. I pulled my head back, as he wrapped his masculinity around my waist with his strong hands. My mind was resistant to this stranger, but my body unbolted to infinite possibilities beyond control.

“Delmar, you are so wet,” he whispered gently in my ear, before ripping my briefs off and sucking on my neck like a ravaging beast on the plains of South Africa. I playfully pushed him off me, but the pressure on my back would not relent as his index finger slid down the crevice of my hidden treasures burrowing deeper & deeper until ooze escaped my mouth biting down on the pillow.

“Aah,” I moaned as his tongue slid down the arch of my back and he smacked my round ass with his hands, repeatedly dragging his tongue inside of me.

“Relax baby,” he whispered with his tongue taunting every inch of my assets. The passion in the tongue was much better than any performance on stage or any song I learned as a child. He forced his tongue deeper & deeper as I bit down on the pillow, grinding in between his mouth. My thighs caught the tribal rhythm that danced alongside the birds singing outside my window. My failed attempts of pulling away excited him while he straddled me from behind. I tried to push away once again, as he grabbed my thighs & lift me in the air doing a handstand, savagely digging deeper like a raging caveman.

“You taste so damn good,” he said stroking my penis & eating me from behind, simultaneously.
I reached for the pillow laying underneath me to balance from trembling in my quadriceps. The longer he stroke & ate, it became harder & sweat dispensed down my chocolate face. In comparison to his macho man stature, my body was like a withering twig.
“I’m ‘bout to cum,” I whispered as he stroked his tongue harder alike a paint brush to a sketch easel. My body became weak still lying in between his biceps, and began to shake like a fat girl having a seizure. He pulled my waist as I strained to avoid ejaculating on the sheets, but he compressed my hands and thighs on lock stagnantly eating between.
His tongue ravaged harder & harder, stronger & stronger, forcible & fiery, deeper & deeper. Eventually, the explosion of birth & death went into overdrive!

I
sat there as Abdul interrogated me like I committed a murder. The wet towel around my neck began to draw heat to my body, affecting me to break into sweat.

“So I am going to ask you again, who is the guy,” Abdul asked standing over top of me, as I sat there in silence gazing at my bitten fingernails.

No thoughts or words would escape my mouth; laughter almost broke the silence because Abdul favors a monkey when he is upset. The abrasions on my fingernails occupied my eyes, as he stared at me with his imaginary visors.

“You can really be an asshole, man,” he yelled. “Fuck you,” I yelled back.
“I have to call you an asshole in order to get a response

out of you. I am courteous giving more than I ever receive. If you would be honest & tell me what the hell is going on, we would not have to engage in a song & dance,” he tossed his hand in the air.

“Nico, reviving shit from the dead is played out. We are not referring to me, we are talking about your conniving ass,” he yelled snatching the towel from my neck & tossing it into the hallways.”

“Are you crazy? Don’t you ever snatch anything away from me,” I yelled.
“I am still awaiting an answer,” he yelled in the hallway.
“No one, I lied to you,” I yelled watching him pace back & forth. The tension between us grew quicker than a camp-fire, as I witnessed his transition from concerned boyfriend to massive serial killer in the matter of ten minutes. For the first time, I was unaware of Abdul’s physical capabilities.
“Nico, I need you to stop lying.”
“I am not lying. Can you sit down, please? You are making me nervous.”
“How the fuck is me pacing back & forth making you nervous? Nico, shut up please.”
“Abdul, you have one more time to curse at me, and lower your damn voice,” I gritted the words through my teeth, while he clapped his hands together in prayer stance & brought them to the front of his face.
“Nico, I need you to be honest with me. Can you please tell me who the person was,” Abdul whispered as a tear formed in his right eye. The discomfort in his face crushed my world. “Was it Trey?”
“No, it was not Trey,” I answered.
“Was it Maurice?”
“Can we just drop this, please,” I asked convincingly.

I stood
in front of Nico sitting on the couch, awaiting an answer to emanate his mouth. My fingers began to shake uncontrollably; one would think I suffered an annexation. Inhaling the breath I held for ten seconds created peace within my body. But it was not long before my fist suited tighter, and my knees buckled together.

“Was it Tony,” I asked, anticipating the answer. “Why would you think it was Tony,” he asked. “Nico, for obvious reasons.”
“No, it wasn’t Tony. It was a guy I met off Facebook,”

he cried.
“So it was a random dude you didn’t know,” I said
grasping for air I held involuntarily. I turned my back towards
him as a tear kissed my cheek.
“Would the situation been better if it was someone we
both knew,” he asked.
“I hope you are not being facetious,” I said.
“It wasn’t supposed to go down like…”
“I don’t even want to hear anymore,” I said as I grabbed
the car keys & walked out of the room.
It has been a ride to Hell & back trying to get our relationship back on track, but there is a hanger for every belt.
The arguing & skeletons is draining all the energy out of me. “Abby, come here. I’m sorry,” Nico pouted reaching for
my arm, as I bit my lip down avoiding from knocking his head
through the wall, and snatched away from him.
“Yo, if I was you, I would really back the fuck up.
Because I can’t believe this shit,” I said as I continued to walk. “You can’t believe what, Abdul? We were broken up
when it happened. At least, I was courteous enough to do that
while I was single. You on the other hand screwed that boy in
our house, while we were together,” he yelled raising his left
eyebrow in the air.
“I’m so tired of you bringing this up to camouflage your
dirt. At least, I was man enough to tell you what I did.” “Tell me? You were caught, that’s different,” he said
firmly.
“And I was smart enough to use protection, unlike you.
Because if you did, we wouldn’t be in this predicament we are
in, would we?”
“That was really low,” his eyes widened as his mouth
temporarily dropped to the ground.
“Take that sensitive shit to someone else who cares to
hear it because I don’t. To be honest Nico, as far as I’m
concerned, we’re done!”

It
was around seven thirty p.m., as I waited for Jeremy to call me back. The last thing I wanted to do was contact him again because I’ve learned that most guys hate that. The night remained young, but he told me he would be here by seven. It registered in my mind that I wasn’t driving. He wants to take me out, so he’s taking me out!!!

“Delmar, who is that in my driveway honking their horn,” my mother asked while I looked outside the window & assumed it was him.

“Oh, I think that’s the guy Jeremy I’m supposed to sing with tomorrow,” I lied.
“Oh ok, I thought his name was Nicolas or something.”
“Naw, ma. He dropped out of it, but I have to get out of here. I’m running late,” I kissed her on the cheek & left out of the door.
“Bye, baby! Be safe out there, I think they’re calling for a storm tonight,” she said!
“Okay mother, love you,” I peeped at Jeremy’s 2008 black Scion & deeply inhaled before entering the car.
“Hey there, little man,” he smiled.
“Hey doc!”
“Doc? Uh oh, are you into church or something?” “How you know,” I asked.
“Because many guys I’m familiar with talk like that, and they are in to church,” he smiled gazing in the rearview mirror.
“Well yeah, my dad is a pastor & my mom is the first lady. So we’re pretty much in tact with the church.”
“Oh okay, I’m not really into religion like that. But I don’t have anything against religious people. I don’t care for people forcing it on me though.”
“So are you atheist,” I asked.
“Hell naw. I believe in God, I’m just not big on religion. I have a lot to learn.”
“Uh huh, tell me anything that sounds good,” I laughed.
“Naw really, it’s the truth man. So I was planning on taking you to Olive Garden, are you okay with that,” he asked.
“Olive Garden is good,” I focused on his groomed goatee & pink full lips. He was the epitome of the “trade” as Ty would say. Dressed in a black polo shirt, blue jeans, NY Yankees fitted & Polo boots… I was in Heaven.
“Don’t you think you need a jacket on,” I asked.
“For what? I’m a grown ass man, kiddo.”
“Oh really! I didn’t know being a certain age accounts to illness. How old are you anyway,” I asked.
“I’m 27 and yourself,” he asked.
“I’m only 19,” I cleared my throat.
“Awww, you’re just a baby,” he teased.
“There you go!”
“Naw, but it’s all good. Maybe one day you can be my baby.”

The
night grew old as I could not resist a pack of Newports from the Exxon gas station. My mind was flustered with many thoughts, and I’ve never smoked a day in my life. There’s no better way to cope with all the shit I heard tonight. What would make things better is if I had someone to vent to? Nico has his nagging mother and nosey ass friends to gain advice from. But I am a loner.

When I was a little boy, I remember crying on the floor as I witness my dad kick my mother in the face with combat boots, and beating her to the bloody pulp. Child protective services placed me in the custody of my grandmother after my father was charged in the strangulation of my mother, when I was only five years old.

Since then, I lived with my grams until she died of lung cancer on my twelth birthday. She would say “Abdul, my one & only grandson, please don’t smoke those cigarettes like I did, baby!”

When she expressed the advice, it stuck with me for the rest of my life. She’d probably turn in her grave one hundred times at my life now. She encouraged me to attend college, but I went to the Marines, instead. Grandma Louise despised how the Army scarred my dad and spun him into the Schizophrenic he died as. I guess my will to serve the country has been instilled in me.

I definitely do not know what she would do about my lifestyle, she was such a loving person, and she cheered me to attend church & start a family one day. Even at that age, I knew I was not into girls at all. I would rather play football with the guys than play footsie with a girl any day. They are beautiful creatures, but they just do not do anything for me. I remember losing my virginity to Ashley Peterson, a kid from the Stevenson foster home I was placed into in Atlanta, Georgia.

I was 14 & she was 15, she was a bit experienced than me. The smell of her vagina was a combination of tuna fish & buttermilk sweat, which turned me completely off.

“Abdul, don’t you want to eat this,” Ashley asked in her Minnie Mouse voice, while I felt the chunks grow distastefully in my mouth.

“Well, I only open when guys eat it & it makes me real wet,” she said as I wanted to cry.
I opened her legs wide crouching my head to the crevice of her vagina & became dizzy from the unbearable stench when I began licking her like a lost puppy!
“Abdul, you’re gonna have to do better than that,” she said scratching the top of her head.
“Look, I can’t do this,” I said as I pulled my pants up & left out of the room. Who would’ve known that a week later, we’d try it again and the fling resulted in the conception of Nahla.
We were both confiscated from the Stevenson residence, and lost contact with each other for several years. I assumed she aborted the baby or gave her up for adoption. But she searched me, and discovered me on base during my first year in Maryland. She informed me about my five year old daughter who mirrored me with her beautiful chinky eyes, caramel complexion & curly sandy brown hair.
For the past few summers, Nahla stayed with me & it has been one of the most difficult times in my life. Attempting to hide my lifestyle from her, but she’s eleven now and there’s no possibility fighting around that. I’ve pretended that Nico was my roommate, but I can no longer do that to myself. I just cannot allow Ashley to take my daughter away from me, it’s enough I only get to visit her during the summer.
Then I remember my first encounter with a guy, which felt right yet so wrong. He was the quarterback at Westchester High in Atlanta, and I was the right tackle man. His name was Larry Johnson and he was the best looking guy I’ve ever laid eyes on. A chocolate brotha, with pearly white teeth, at least six feet tall & muscular built. At that time, I was growing into my looks & lost fifty pounds of fat.
One day, Larry took me home from practice converse the entire ride without a mention of football. We talked about everything from 2pac to college, and he parked in front of my house joking & laughing together like any typical buddy when suddenly--- he placed his hand on my thigh. I was not aware of what was to come next. The guy every girl wanted and the guy every male wanted to be had his hand on my thigh! MY THIGH!
“You know Abdul, I really like you man.”
“Yeah, man. You’re cool too,” I said trying to swallow the bug in my throat.
“No… like… I’m really interested in you.”
“What do you mean,” I asked as my heart pounded through my chest. I wanted to kiss him so bad, but didn’t know if that is what he meant. He looked me in my eyes, and licked his lips while tapping his finger on the dashboard. My heart raced 100 mph, and sweat began to pour from my forehead.
“Why are you nervous,” he laughed rubbing the side of my face. I never knew a guy to sensually caress another guy’s face. He reached over & kissed me gripping my thigh with all his might. The adoration of his pink lips suppressed gently towards mine as he forcibly grabbed my ass with those manly hands.
“Wait, I can’t do this in front of my house,” I said.
“Is there anywhere else for us to go,” he asked.
“There’s a playground around the corner, no one is usually in the parking lot,” I said as he bit his lip & shift his gear in “drive” and pulled off from my house to reach the playground.
“Just make a left, and it is right there,” I said as he illegally cruised past the stop sign. He acted like a desperate geek ready to lose his virginity to the most popular girl in school, when it should have been me vice versa. I wonder if he got bored from always being with the girls that he wanted to try something new. But he pulled me into his world, and I never recovered from that night on.
He moved from the driver’s seat to the passenger’s to lie on top of me, as I sat there uncomfortably. However, curious to know if grabbing a male’s penis was equivalent to oral sex on a female. The guilt set in that God would strike me for looking at a guy sexually or even kissing him.
He inserted his hands inside my pants & his index finger traveled down my anus. His finger felt like a needle poking me with an unbearable notion.
“Ummm, what are you doing,” I whispered as he bit my lip & sucked the salivary glands out of my tongue.
“I’m trynna break you in, you’re tight as shit. Just the way I like ‘em, mo,” he said in his country twang forcing his finger in my rectum, while I pushed his finger back out.
“You’ve done this before,” I asked.
“Yeah I have, a few times! It feels so good to me, bruh,” he whispered kissing my neck.
“I want to fuck you,” I said grabbing his jimmy through his pants while sucking his tongue. He grabbed my head stroking his tongue back & forth in my mouth--- then the police tapped on the car window.
Well we didn’t get arrested, but the cop told us the law was to never trespass the park after ten p.m. and Larry was faced with a warning.
What an unforgettable night! It was my first sexual experience with a guy, and also made me realize being a bottom was NOT for me. I wonder what ever happened to Larry after he graduated from high school. I barely heard anything about him, and never seen him on any of the social networks. But he sure didn’t get drafted to the NFL!
“New message,” the female voice alerted as I checked my text messages.
“Abdul, please forgive me. I don’t want us to be over. This is making me feel like a horrible person, I love you so much. Come back home,” the message read.
It’s ironic that when I begged Nico for forgiveness, all he did was look down on me & say how stupid I was. He told me to stop apologizing because it was not going to retract what I did that night. I could tell him the same thing he told me, but I am better than that.
There is no trust at all, what’s a relationship without trust? I think we continue to fight for it because it is what we are used to knowing.