Love on a Dime (17 page)
Lilly rose and looked for George. Unable to find him, she wove through the clusters of guests until she located Irene in the secluded picture gallery near the foyer. Irene was murmuring in Theo Nottingham’s ear. Sweet nothings, no doubt. Lilly’s satin slippers pounded across the marble floor.
“If you’ll excuse us, Mr. Nottingham, I’d like to speak to my sister-in-law.” She didn’t care that her voice carried censure.
He slipped away, leaving Lilly with the open-mouthed Irene. Her face, hard as her emerald necklace, glared with indignation. She smoothed her taffeta skirt, a brilliant green, and thrust out her chin.
“Why did you send Mr. Nottingham scurrying away when we were merely having a pleasant conversation?”
“It’s inappropriate for a married woman—”
Irene cut her off with a disdainful wave. “It’s also inappropriate for an engaged woman to allow another man to follow her around like a lovesick puppy. Don’t look so shocked, Lilly. It’s very apparent Jack is in love with you.” Irene laughed as humiliation sent a blast of heat to Lilly’s face. “It’s also very apparent you’re in love with him.”
Lilly fought the urge to escape. She swallowed hard and said in her most controlled voice, “Please tell George that Harlan refused to give me a loan. You’ll have to find someone else to pay your bills.”
Irene ’s smirk dissolved. “Did you mention the money was for George and me—for personal expenses?”
“I did not. I thought it best to keep your names out of it.”
“Hmm.” Irene flicked a sly smile. “You do love your little secrets. Anyhow, George will find another way to pay our debts.”
As Irene stepped away, Lilly touched her arm. “You must stop gambling at once. If this becomes common knowledge, you’ll bring disgrace upon my entire family.”
Irene ’s eyebrow arched. “I’m surprised
you’re
so concerned about propriety.” Her mocking laugh echoed through the dark, deserted gallery as she strode back toward the ballroom.
O
n the ride home Lilly stared into the foggy night sky from the back seat of the crowded carriage. She tried not to think of Irene ’s cutting remarks about her relationship with Jack. Was it really obvious he held a torch for her—and she for him? Or had Irene exaggerated to make her worry? She couldn’t help but wonder if others had noticed. She ’d hate to be the object of gossip and innuendo. Her cheeks warmed with heat though a chill had cooled the night air. She was grateful for the shroud of darkness.
As the horses trotted toward Summerhill and her fellow passengers recounted the evening’s entertainment, Lilly closed her eyes. With an avalanche of wedding presents arriving each day and the engraved invitations ready to be posted, it was too late for second thoughts, wasn’t it? She should have pondered her marriage long and hard weeks before. Instead, she ’d allowed events and family expectations to engulf her.
Lord, please show me what to do. I have no answers of my own
.
JACK READ ANOTHER set of manuscripts by the glow of the fireplace and the sputtering gaslight. He ’d declined tonight’s invitation in his quest for a new authoress. He strongly suspected Lilly was his dime novelist, but since she wouldn’t admit the truth or help him in his search for Fannie, he had to find another author to propel into the public arena, and quickly. A star. Preferably an attention hound. Unfortunately, none of these manuscripts were up to par.
He sighed and put down the last of the stories. Not much had gone right lately.
Footsteps sounded in the hallway before he saw Miranda at the door. She peered into the room.
“Do you mind if I join you while I look for a book? I was much too tired to dance this evening, so I decided to stay at Summerhill.” She grinned. “Actually, I don’t like dancing very much.”
“Do come in, Miss Reid.” Jack rose part way before she motioned him to sit.
She strode across the carpet, removed a copy of
Anna Karenina
from the bookshelves, and regarded Jack with pursed lips and a furrowed brow. Book in hand, she came closer. “May I speak frankly?”
“By all means.”
Miranda slid into the leather chair opposite Jack and leaned forward, her long fingers entwined on her lap. Unlike most society ladies, she wore no jewelry except a gold watch pinned to her tailored shirtwaist. “I’m not sure how to begin or if I should even broach the subject of—your relationship to Lilly.”
Jack gulped and his pulse quickened. Were his feelings for Lilly so obvious even Miranda noticed? He didn’t wish to answer, but the woman looked resolute. “Miss Reid, Miss Westbrook and I have no relationship. We did once, as you probably know, but that ended years ago.”
“Lilly and I have been friends since childhood and we do confide in each other. My point is: your presence at Summerhill upsets her and reminds her of your past together. May I be blunt?”
Jack gave a sardonic grin. “I think you’re already blunt. But yes, please continue.”
“Thank you.” She steepled her fingers and seemed to weigh her words. “If you have no romantic interest in Lilly, please leave her alone and quit playing with her emotions. Let her marry Harlan in peace, without second thoughts. She deserves to be happy, especially after the pain you caused her several years ago. She’s barely recovered from your—betrayal.”
He winced. Miranda’s words stung. “I’ve tried not to interfere with her engagement, but it’s hard to remain silent since I find them completely unsuited. Please don’t take offence, but I think your cousin Harlan is an arrogant popinjay who’ll never make Lilly happy.”
Miranda sputtered with laughter. When she sobered, she stared at him with dark blue, direct eyes. “Then do something about it. Don’t just fret. Win her back—if that’s what you actually long to do.”
Jack felt his face and neck blaze from embarrassment. Seldom had a woman spoken to him so candidly. “I do want to win her affection, but I hesitate because I failed her once—and I hate to disrupt her life again. Her parents might feel I’m not a good enough match for her—”
“Nonsense, Mr. Grail. Perhaps that was true once, but no longer. You’ve proven yourself and you’ve established your place in the business sector. The Westbrooks want their daughter’s happiness, and they believe Harlan is the right man. But I don’t really believe he is. I’ve known him my entire life so I understand his virtues . . . and his faults.” Miranda’s eyes locked onto Jack’s. “They’re a dreadful match. And more to the point—Lilly loves you.”
“Did she tell you this?” Jack felt the room spin.
“Not in so many words, but she didn’t have to. I know her well.” Miranda didn’t let her comment digest before she asked, “Now what are you going to do about it?”
Miranda’s question remained in the forefront of Jack’s mind for the rest of the evening as he waited for Lilly to come home from the dance. He heard the hall clock strike midnight, shattering the silence of the nearly empty house. Lilly might be gone for several more hours, so perhaps he should retire now and search for her in the morning. He rose from the leather chair, then dropped down again. No, he ’d stay. His anxiety would never permit him to sleep. He’d wait here in the library and listen for Lilly’s return.
Jack read Mr. Westbrook’s latest edition of the
Wall Street Journal
until his eyes blurred with fatigue. Unable to settle his mind, he paced in front of the crackling fire, threw another log on the burning wood, and watched it blaze.
"HARLAN, MAY I speak with you in private?” Lilly trailed the group, lingering in the foyer as George, Irene, and Dolly climbed the stairs to their bedrooms. “It’s important.”
Now was the time to break their engagement.
Lord, please give me strength
.
Harlan glanced over his shoulder as he paused on the first stair. “I’m tired. Can’t it wait until morning? I said all I intend to say about the matter you mentioned this evening. Just let it drop.”
Lilly’s eyes widened. The loan was the least of her considerations. “Please, Harlan. We ’re always too busy during the day. Now would be much better.”
He expelled a long exasperated sigh. “No, not tonight. We ’ll talk tomorrow, after I return from sailing.”
“All right,” she mumbled. She watched as he climbed the rest of the stairs, never looking backward. Did he have so little regard for her? Or did he fear what she had to say?
She sat on the stairs, burying her head in her hands
Jack strode into the foyer.
“Lilly, may I speak to you for a few moments?”
Looking up, she gave a weary smile. “Of course. For a few moments.” She arose and followed him into the library, her champagne-colored skirt swishing as she walked. Standing with her back to the mantle, she waited with her head tilted.
His voice grew husky. He clasped his hands behind his back and stood with legs apart. “Lilly, I’ve wanted to tell you something ever since I arrived at Summerhill, but the time never seemed right. And then you became engaged to Harlan, so I kept quiet.” Jack took a deep breath.
Her small nod encouraged him to continue.
“May I tell you now?”
“I believe so, Jack.”
“I came to Summerhill to ask for your forgiveness, even though I don’t deserve it. And I hoped you’d let me back into your life.” He paused as if looking for some hint of encouragement.
Her eyes welled with tears.
“I love you, Lilly,” he said in a hoarse voice barely above a whisper. “I should have married you long ago. I should have never left you. I should have trusted that you could make your way, alongside me.”
Lilly’s heartbeat roared in her ears. Had Jack actually admitted he should have married her? Slowly, Lilly gazed up at Jack, unsure whether she ought to let go, give in. In a flash their past love flared with life, with fire. She needed to think, not let her feelings overwhelm her. But love so filled her heart she couldn’t think clearly.
Lilly sunk into the nearest sofa. “Then why did you leave me?”
He breathed out an anguished sigh. “I was humiliated. I thought your parents would laugh at my audacity. And I felt certain that in the cold light of day you’d reconsider and turn me away. So I took the coward’s way out before either you or your father told me in polite terms that I wasn’t an acceptable match. I couldn’t face the rejection.”
Her throat constricted and she could hardly speak. “Your love was all I ever needed.” Why hadn’t he realized that?
Jack’s features pulled down with misery. “But your parents wanted so much more for you.”
Lilly pressed her hands to her forehead. “Perhaps you’re right, but you should have asked Papa anyway. I would’ve begged him for his blessing and I might have won him over.” Her argument sounded weak, but didn’t he think their love was worth fighting for?
Jack shook his head mournfully. “Your father would’ve rebuffed me. Who could blame him? If only I’d found the gumption to ask anyway.” His voice dropped as he held her gaze. “My pride wouldn’t let me accept outright refusal. I couldn’t bear hearing I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Oh Jack, I believed you proposed hastily and then regretted it.” How could she have so misunderstood his abrupt departure? “I was shy and awkward, too conventional and dull to hold your attention.” She blushed at her admission. “My family didn’t have a large fortune, so I thought you were searching for an heiress who could help you with your career. Someone more fitting for a man on the rise.”
His self-mocking laugh shocked her. “No. You were the young, beautiful heiress while I was the unworthy pauper.”
Jack leaned so close she could feel his warm breath caress her cheek. “I left you with every intention of making my fortune and returning in triumph, a rich man, if not a grand catch.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lilly stammered. “I would have waited for you as long as necessary.”
“I didn’t want to confess how inferior I felt. I had nothing but a good education and I didn’t know if I could actually use it to my advantage. It wasn’t fair to ask you to wait on the off chance I might succeed.” Jack paused. “I railed against the unfairness of life. I hated my fear of failure. I despised myself for not telling you the entire truth. I am so sorry.”
He dropped down onto the sofa beside her. He reached for her hand and this time she let it rest in his. “Do you want me to continue?” he asked.
“Yes, I need to know everything.” She’d waited for this moment for so long. Lilly knew it cost him dearly to voice his failings. She squeezed his hand and he pressed back with a warmth that shot through her.
“The day after you and your family sailed for Europe I returned to Washington Square to ask you to take me back. I decided to throw myself on your father’s mercy and leave the solution in his hands. But you’d gone for the year.” He groaned. “So I left for California, and then a few years later, Alaska.”
“Oh Jack, I wish I’d known.”
“I wanted to write to you, but it all seemed . . . insurmountable.”
She sat perfectly still, unable to speak.
“Lilly, I have no right to ask, but do you think we still have a chance together?” Jack gently touched her shoulders with fingertips that sent silky shivers down her spine.
She wanted him to crush her in his arms and feel his cheek burning her own. But as she faced him, her answer stalled. Should she follow her heart regardless of the consequences it would have on the people she loved? She already knew her answer. Yet she had to consider the dilemma of Fannie Cole.
Lilly closed her eyes. “Let me think, Jack. We can’t erase the past. Or the present. So much has happened.”
“Then let’s start fresh. I love you with all my heart.” He took a deep breath. “Will you break your engagement to Harlan and marry me, Lilly?” His smile lifted with a glimmer of hope.
Not trusting her voice, she paused, barely able to comprehend his words. “I want to say yes—but I can’t—at least not now.” Tears welled and she tried to blink them back. She ’d so often imagined Jack proposing again, but now his words seemed as unreal as a dream.
Her heart cracked in two. One piece belonged to Jack, but the other belonged to her family—and so much of their future hinged on her union with Harlan. Jack could heal the fissure and make it whole, but should she let him try? Would Jack expect her to publicize Fannie Cole’s dime novels for the sake of his publishing house?
“Before I do anything else, I must speak to Harlan.” She looked at him, hoping for understanding and patience, but instead, she caught him staring over her shoulder. She turned around to find George striding into the library. Why did her brother have to interrupt at a most inopportune time?
“Jack, please allow me a few days. I don’t wish to make another mistake. Let’s not speak of it again until I can come to a decision.”
“Of course. Take all the time you need. I won’t rush you.” His ardor had cooled, or perhaps George ’s approach had hurled Jack back to earth.
“I have splendid news,” George heralded. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”
Lilly sighed. “No, go right ahead.”
George beamed. “I just saw Papa in the billiard room. He told me that this afternoon Harlan gave him a tip about some land for sale in upstate New York. It’s the last piece Harry Morrison needs for his rail line into Quebec, but the old skinflint wasn’t willing to pay a fair price. The owner of the property wasn’t about to take anything less than he thought it was worth. So, when Harlan got wind of it, he met with the owner and they agreed on a low but reasonable price. Harlan wants Papa to make the purchase in his stead.”
“Why doesn’t Harlan buy the land himself if it’s such a bargain?” It made no sense to Lilly, though it obviously did to her brother.
George rolled his eyes as if she were an idiot. “Because he loves you and wants to help our family. When Papa sells the tracks of land to Mr. Morrison, we ’ll make a killing.”
“That’s very thoughtful of Harlan,” Lilly murmured.
George harrumphed. “He’s more than thoughtful. He ’s far beyond generous. We ’re quite fortunate he ’s joining our family.”
Jack’s crestfallen face harbored disappointment even George could detect if he were looking beyond the Westbrooks’ good luck. But loose-limbed George was jumping around like a grasshopper too excited to contain himself.