Love Beyond Dreams (A Scottish Time Travel Romance): Book 6 (Morna's Legacy Series) (23 page)

She reminded him of an octopus, the strange sea dwelling creature he saw caught on one of he and Adwen’s seafaring ventures, long ago. She was wrapped so tightly around him. He hoped she wouldn’t ever let go.
 

If the secret words she whispered to him now were any indication, she didn’t mind being his wife overmuch.
 

“You want to know how I feel about you? It’s so much easier to tell you when you can’t hear me. But maybe you can, maybe in some way your subconscious will understand what I say, and you’ll feel it when you wake. That seems so much better than telling you to your face.

“I wasn’t always so cold. I used to be quite the artsy romantic. I could fall hard and fast, and I did more than once as a teenager. No one like you—they were boys not men. I have a feeling you were never really a boy.”

Oh, the lass had no idea. Just because he’d been faster at it than Adwen, it didn’t mean he wasn’t slow to mature. He’d been a boy for far longer than he’d been a man.
 

“I loved everyone, everything, and I was headed in a million different directions. I wanted to paint, I wanted to act, I wanted to be the world’s greatest chef. I just never imagined that things wouldn’t work out the way I wanted them to.
 

“And then, my Dad got sick and he died. Six months later my Mom followed him. Losing him was enough. Then I watched as my picture-of-health mother, in her mid-fifties, died of heartbreak. She should have lived for thirty more years. It angered me, it terrified me, and more than anything, it made me determined to never, ever let that happen to me.

“After that I just stopped—all of the dreaming, all of the falling fast—I just stopped everything. I stopped feeling or living past the most shallow of relationships or experiences. Anything that I really needed to feel, I put in a painting. Until now.”

He wanted to turn to her, and speak to her, but he knew she’d stop, and he wanted her to say all she needed to. He kept his eyes closed and listened.
 

“Before they died, I imagined you, I wanted you every single day. Maybe not you, per se. Even my imagination couldn’t dream up someone as handsome, but I imagined the person you are—the kind, loyal to a fault, understatedly funny, ridiculously awesome in bed, hung like a racehorse man that you are—I dreamed of you. I dreamed of marrying.
 

“After their deaths, I let the dream go. I stopped imagining anything past the end of the week. Now, I’m imagining things thirty years from now, every one of them spent with you.
 

“You want to know how I feel about you? I’m crazy about you. I love you. I know I do, but it’s so hard for me to admit. It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself to feel it, and you’re my worst fear brought to life. You could destroy me. I don’t want to become my mother.
 

He wished she had the strength to tell him all of these things at a time when he could respond—when he could turn to her and comfort her fears. But to do so now would damage the trust she’d placed in him, so he would have to go forward pretending he didn’t know, pretending that he’d heard nothing.
 

He hoped at least, she’d eased her own mind. With time, Gillian would share more with him. He knew that with certainly now. There would be a time when she would share everything she’d just told him now. He would be right there to reciprocate and listen when she was ready.
 

As if the pup knew the moment Gillian’s speech was finished, Toby latched down on Orick’s big toe causing him to jerk up in the bed at the shock of it. He admired the way Gillian lay on her back and stretched sleepily, still managing to look up at him with tired eyes.
 

“Good morning. How did you sleep?”

He leaned down to kiss her. “I’ve no slept better in my life, but I am no ready to rise from this bed just yet.”

CHAPTER 41

The next day, we made love two more times before noon. When we did finally rise, we didn’t wander far, just out onto the lawn where we played with Toby for a long while. Orick loved the little mess and would wrestle with the pup until Toby would just give out from exhaustion.
 

It was during one of his short little rests, where he plopped down on the grass and went to sleep, that Orick came over and pulled me down on the grass so that we each lay on one side of Toby.
 

“I’ve been thinking, lass.”

“Have you?” I smiled playfully at him as if that surprised me. I doubted that he ever stopped thinking.
 

“Aye, always. If ye stay with me, Gillian, we must settle some matters between us. When and where will we live? What will each of us do? I ken ye time traveling women well enough to know that ye are no content to stay idle. Ye must each have yer own purpose, and I understand. I wondered if ye’d tell me, what ye saw for us?”

I’d not placed much thought in it. I knew myself well enough to know that if I did, I’d freak myself out thinking in the long term. I knew he was right though. It didn’t matter if it freaked me out, there were many things we would have to decide, and all of that would be so much easier for the both of us if I would quit being such a pansy and be honest with him. I would have to face my own fears in order to relieve his. I could tell each time he said, ‘
if ye stay
,’ he still very much wondered if I would.
 

“Orick, I’m going to stay. I married you. While it wasn’t the ceremony I envisioned—outdoors with flowers and the sea roaring in the background—it was the ceremony that I got. And forced into it or not, I take that seriously. Besides, I’m kind of crazy about you.”

He smiled and reached to pull me near him, but I held out a hand to stop him, not wanting to squish Toby.
 

“Ye are crazy about me? ’Tis a good thing?”

“Yes, it’s one of the best things. I know you need more, but that’s all you’ll get out of me today on the feelings front.”

He shook his head and said words that took my breath away. I already knew how he felt. He showed it all the time.
 

“I love ye, Gillian. I doona care if it takes ye a fortnight or a year to tell me the same, it willna change my feelings. Ye are allowed to need time. I’m glad ye are no leaving, but ye still have no answered my question.”

“Right.” I’d gotten sidetracked. “Would you believe me if I said I hadn’t thought that far ahead?”

His eyes grew wide as he nodded as if it were no surprise to him at all. “Aye, I believe I would. It doesna matter, for I have thought much on it. May I make ye a proposal?”

I shifted to sit cross-legged so I could look at him. I wanted to pay close attention.
 

“Yes.”

“There was a time when I dinna think I would ever leave Adwen’s side. Now I ken that I canna ever go back to it. If he needs me I’ll come, but I must live my own life—a life spent with ye. I ken that we’ve still much to learn about one another, but I doona think ye are a lass suited to this life, no all the time.”

I didn’t either, but I planned to make the best out of it, to try as hard as I could for him. “I’ll try. I really will.”

Orick shook his head and reached to squeeze my hand.
 

“Ye shouldna have to. I doona think I’ve told ye, but I spent a few night’s in New York City with Adwen, Jane, and Cooper.”

“What?” For the life of me, I couldn’t picture Adwen and Orick in that concrete jungle.
 

“Aye, and do ye wish to know something else? I loved it. So many of the things from yer own time, things I should have found strange, I took great pleasure in. I think ’twould be easier for me to live there than ye here, though I hope that we could mayhap live our lives in a little of both.”

While I truly hadn’t placed much thought in it, I had never seen Orick living in my own time as an option. The thought delighted me to no end. “Do you mean it? You would do that? Live away from Adwen, Jane, Cooper, Isobel...everybody?”

“Aye. ’Tis a bonny thing about Cagair. We can live in both times and travel back and forth as we need to. ’Twould work well for the others, too.”

 
“It would, but what would you do there? I don’t think you’re one to sit idle either.”

I could see Orick’s enthusiasm at my question, and he quickly pushed himself up to sit opposite me.
 

“I’ve thought on this as well. My life has been spent in the service of others. While I am Adwen’s friend, I grew up as the MacChristy’s,” he hesitated, “I doona ken the right word for it.”

“I know what you mean. You were their man. You did whatever they needed.”

“Aye. I believe I would still like to be there for others. I’ve an idea for Cagair.”

I couldn’t wait to hear what he said. I wondered if he found me as surprising as I found him. “What is it?”

“The castle has far too many rooms for my liking. Even if we had a few bairns, many would still lay empty. ’Tis as beautiful a place as I’ve ever seen. Why doona we open our own inn?”

The moment he said it, I couldn’t believe I’d not thought of it myself. It was the perfect idea. I knew Orick birthed the idea out of care for me. He may have enjoyed his time in New York, but he was a simple man, a man who would miss many things about his life here. It would be a sacrifice for him to stay in the twenty-first century, even if we traveled back here often.
 

If he could do it for me, I could make a sacrifice for him as well.
 

“I would love that, but only if we don’t live in the castle. Let’s go forward and tell Aiden and Anne our plan, offer them residence in the castle? They can work for us, and they can be the ones to live in the castle. We will live in the stable house.”

 
He crossed his arms as if he didn’t believe me. “Gillian, I know what I said about castles, but I doona expect ye to live out here. Ye love the castle.”

“Yes, but I also love this little place. It suits you much more, I think. It’s the only way I’ll agree to the inn.”

He grinned and pulled me in close, pinching my bottom as he placed me on his lap.
 

“Aye, ye drive a hard bargain, lass, but naught could sound better to me.”

CHAPTER 42

Cagair Castle

Present Day

“Where are you going?” I reached to pull on Orick’s arm as he exited the stairwell and headed for the front of the castle. “We can just go in the back.”

He nodded. “Aye, we could, but I doona think Aiden or Anne are expecting us. I doona care to scare them.”

I actually thought it might be sort of fun to scare them, but I decided to follow his lead. I laced my fingers with his and walked up the castle’s main steps beside him. Aiden must have seen us arrive for the door swung open as soon as we reached the top of the landing.
 

“Gillian and…” he reached for Orick’s hand. “I’m sorry lad, I canna remember yer name.”

I stepped in between them and wrapped my arms around Aiden’s neck in greeting. “His name is Orick.”
 

“Aye. Orick. I dinna expect to see either of ye for a week more, at least. Is everything okay? They were no lying, were they, Gillian?”

We followed him inside. I could tell Orick planned to let me lead the conversation.
 

“Yes, everything is fine. And no, much to my surprise, they weren’t lying. Where’s Anne?”

“Ah, Anne.”

I didn’t miss how his face reddened in sheepish embarrassment.
 

“She’s only getting dressed. We took the day off, ye see.”

“Oh, okay. Don’t look so guilty.” I laughed at him and pointed up the stairs. “Go and get her. I need to talk to you two about something.”

While he ran upstairs to get Anne, Orick and I made our way into the sitting room. Orick sat down on the couch, but I wandered slowly about the room as we waited, peeking my head down the hallway, finding myself more impressed the more I looked.
 

“He’s gotten a lot done in the last week. It doesn’t look like there’s much left.”

“There’s not. He’s almost done.” I turned toward Anne’s voice as she ran toward me from the doorway, giving me a hug that nearly cracked my ribs. “I’m happy to see you, Gillian.”

I laughed and pulled loose from her, moving quickly to seek shelter at Orick’s side.
 

“I’m happy to see you too. I’m going to wait until Aiden gets seated to say anything though.”

“Oh, that kind of talk, is it?” Anne pulled her face into one of seriousness and plopped down into a chair across from us.
 

Aiden quickly joined her. “Tell us about it, Gillian. We received yer letter, and the lawyer arrived the next day. Ye need to call him now that ye are back, but he dinna mind that ye were gone.”

“Good.” I made a mental note to remember to do that as I thought on how best to approach the subject. “So, have you booked any other jobs for after you’re finished here?”

Aiden squeezed Anne’s knee, and I knew it was to comfort her. She had to worry about it all the time.
 

“No, but ’twill be alright. It may be time that I do something else with my life.”