Laura Matthews (9 page)

There was no response from his companion, whose face he could not read at all. “I would prefer, for the time being, that my mother and sister remain in the house, and I am sure that you would welcome their company. If in the future you found it a strain to have your mother-in-law resident with you, she and Julianna could move to the Dower House.”

He attempted to lighten the tone of his monologue by suggesting, “Perhaps we might travel occasionally. I think you would enjoy that. Your allowance would be generous, and I would not deny you any reasonable expenditure on your clothing or your rooms.”

Olivia saw her whole life stretching before her, dependent on her decision. At her age there was no possibility of setting up an establishment of her own—she had not the financial means nor the temerity to brave the censure of society. There were no relatives to come to her aid; she had only Sir Noah to provide for her. She could remain in his home as a guest, with the lingering stigma of the gossip about her. Years could go by without an offer of marriage to remove her from her dependence. Lady Elizabeth’s vindictiveness would forestall her entering society in London, even if Lady Lawrence were willing to see her through a season there.

But if she married Sir Noah she would never have the opportunity to know love. She did not doubt that he would take care of her, would provide her with any material object she might desire. It had long been a dream of hers that one day she would escape Stolenhurst to a husband who loved her, a home she cared for, and children to love and raise in an atmosphere far different from that which she had endured. It was a silly fantasy perhaps, but an escape from her realities at Stolenhurst. More likely Peter would have forced her into a loveless marriage by some trickery, much as he was doing now. Sir Noah at least offered her the home and children she had projected, and she had come to think of him more kindly during this trial.

Olivia lifted her head to look at him as he studied her carefully. She had intended to say that she must think on what he had said, but when she had moistened her lips she found herself declaring desperately, “You cannot wish to marry me.”

“Why not?” he asked with a grin. “You are attractive, sensible, by rights above my touch, and a charming young lady. I have developed a sincere affection for you, Olivia, and wish to make you happy. Many marriages have much less to recommend them, my dear. I think we would deal well together.” He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Your affections are not engaged by anyone, are they? If so, you must say, and I will see what can be done.”

“No, no, I have met few young men of any worth,” she replied with a fleeting thought of James Evans. She felt an admiration of Evans and was somewhat attracted to him, but there was no question of an attachment; she did not know him well enough and never would now.

“Well, I cannot claim any high standing in that regard, but I promise you I will do my utmost to prove an acceptable husband. Would you like some time to think about all we’ve discussed, Olivia?”

“Yes, if you please.”

“There’s not the least hurry. In either case you will remain here, unless you have any objections or any alternative to suggest.”

Olivia shook her head, and he left his chair to come around to her. He took her hand and pressed it encouragingly. “You may discuss the matter with my mother and Julianna if you wish, but I would advise against it. It’s your decision alone and only you can make the right choice for yourself. I would prefer that you marry me rather than merely join my household, if that is any inducement to you.”

* * * *

Since she had no wish to speak with Lady Lawrence or Julianna about the matter of marrying Noah, Olivia slipped out a side door, bundled in boots and a fur-trimmed blue mantle. The snow had melted, leaving the ground muddy, and there was a brisk cold wind, but she wandered about the grounds for several hours paying scant attention to the conditions around her.

Most of her life she had felt lonely, with her parents and grandmother all gone before she reached the age of ten. Her brothers had shown her little affection and less interest; her governess had been a consolation but no real substitute for parents or friendships. The uncles who were guardians to her as well as to her brothers had shown even less concern for her well-being than for that of the males; and when Peter came of age, she had become his ward.

Olivia found herself at a charming Gothic summer-house overlooking the coppice and brook to the east of the estate. There were elaborately carved benches placed about the small space and in seating herself she kicked against an old wooden case under one of them. Curiosity led her to pull the case out and examine its contents—a child’s treasures, much as she herself might have collected years earlier. In a youthful hand “Noah Lawrence” was scrawled inside the lid of the box, and there were broken toys, crumpled messages, rusted keys, and a cardboard windmill.

Olivia smiled at the collection and was about to replace it when she heard her name called. She responded automatically, and Noah soon arrived on horseback at the summerhouse.

He dismounted and joined her at the entrance, exclaiming, “Lord, child, you must be frozen! Jarette said you went out hours ago and had not returned.” He studied her face and was relieved to note she had not been crying. There was a courage about her, faced as she was with such a tumult in her life, that he could but admire. Her face was pinched with the cold, but her eyes were calm.

“I’ve found something of yours,” she said, ignoring his concern for her well-being.

“Here? What is it?”

Olivia beckoned him to follow her as she walked to the bench where the box still stood open, and watched him when he saw it. A slow smile spread across his face and his eyes sparkled playfully. “It’s not where I usually kept it, but I remember trying to hide it from Julianna when she found its original location.” He leaned over to pick up the rusted keys and made a vague motion toward the woods. “I had a strongbox buried there with my more valuable things. Do you suppose it’s still there?”

“Shall we look?” Olivia asked, her interest aroused.

“Yes,” he agreed with a smile. Then he shook his head. “No, I should get you to the house. You’ve been out far too long already.”

“I’m not so very cold,” she retorted stubbornly.

“Mother is expecting you for tea,” he reminded her, and touched her rosy cheek with a gloved finger. “I promise to take you with me tomorrow when I explore for it. Will that do?”

A flash of anger appeared in Olivia’s gray eyes. “I will not be treated like a child, Sir Noah. It is not necessary for you to bribe or placate me. I am eighteen and quite capable of passing up such a treat as digging up some stupid box of yours,” she said sarcastically, barely saving herself from the disgrace of stomping her foot.

“So old as that!” he exclaimed, his eyes laughing. “A woman grown.”

“Understand this,” she retorted coldly. “There is no chance that I will marry you while you treat me in such a fashion. In one breath you speak of my begetting your children and in the next you call me ‘child.’ You cannot have it both ways, sir. If I am old enough to wed you and bear your children, I deserve the status, of a woman in your eyes. I will accept nothing less.”

The laughter in him died abruptly. It was cruel to undermine her precarious dignity so, and he spoke seriously. “I don’t mean to offend you, Olivia. It’s difficult for me to forget the youngster I met three years ago when she was all arms and legs, and not so very well coordinated. Do you remember that occasion, Olivia?”

His companion flushed and turned her head slightly aside. “I remember tripping over my own feet when I attempted to make you a curtsy,” she managed to say.

“Yes, and landed in a cascade of skirts at my feet.” There was no trace of amusement in his face. “You have been on your dignity with me ever since, determined either to prove yourself sophisticated or me a wretch. And
I, well, I have felt protective toward you since then. Do not blame me for thinking of you as a child for these years, Olivia. It is merely the contrast of your innocence against all the distorted experience around you that makes you appear so. I mean it more as a compliment to your uncorrupted nature than a reference to your age. You’re a reproach to those of us who have lived our lives selfishly.”

They stood surveying each other solemnly for some moments. Olivia asked hesitantly, “If I marry you, you will not call me ‘child’ any longer? And you will treat me as an adult?”

“I promise.” His intent brown eyes remained locked on hers.

She swallowed dryly and forced herself to speak. “Then I will marry you.”

“Noah,” he prompted.

“Noah,” she repeated obediently.

“I will attempt to make you happy, Olivia. I would beg that you always be open with me so that I may never be in ignorance of your wishes and your needs.”

“And you will teach me how to please you?” Olivia did not notice his startled look, which vanished when she continued. “I don’t know you so very well, you know. Perhaps you don’t like to talk at breakfast or be interrupted when you’re doing your accounts. Peter would not allow anyone to drive his phaeton, and Charles would never ride with me if I asked him first. Samuel never takes chocolate in bed, but he does at the breakfast table. I suppose your mother and Julianna will advise me, but I hope you’ll be patient with me.”

“May I teach you something now?” Noah asked, his eyes twinkling merrily.

“Y... Yes,” she replied, dubious.

He took her hands and pressed them against his chest. “I want you to understand that I am an affectionate man,” he said seriously, though a smile lurked at the corners of his mouth. “And if you wish to please me, now that we are betrothed, you will allow me to kiss you from time to time.”

At her skeptical look he went on gravely, “It’s a very necessary preparation for marriage, Olivia. Such a small intimacy will accustom you to me, and you’ll feel more comfortable when we’re... alone after our wedding.”

He felt the fingers he held tremble and knew it was not from the cold. Instead of further urging he went on matter-of-factly, “I had thought we might spend our honeymoon near Cheltenham, if you have no preference. I have a friend there who will be going to London next month, and he has offered me the use of his home at any time I may desire it. Would that please you?” He retained his grip on her hands.

A delighted smile warmed her eyes. “In the Cotswolds? I have longed to go there, S ... Noah. You had intended we should marry so soon?”

“I think it would be wise for us to marry before your brother does. Lady Elizabeth will thereby be forestalled in her petty revenge. They do not intend to wed until June, but I would prefer that we set a date in mid-March. Tell me if you are not agreeable, Olivia.”

She bit her lip nervously and shook her head. “I have no objection.
Do you think I can go to Stolenhurst for a time, to organize my belongings? I would feel... wretched to have someone else gather them together for me.”

“I’ll write Peter of our engagement and tell him that you intend to go there for a week or so. I think my mother should accompany you.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary. I would not have her displaced on my account,” Olivia protested.

“She’ll be more than happy to do it for you, my dear. I doubt that any of your brothers will return there in the near future. Did you have any great longing to be married there?”

“I had assumed that I would be, of course, but I can see that it will not do.” Her lips trembled in spite of her efforts to control them.

Noah increased his pressure on her hands against his chest. “I can arrange it so if you wish, Olivia.”

“No, it’s not necessary.” She gulped against the lump in her throat. Darkness was coming on and a whirl of cold wind surged through the summerhouse and made her shiver.

Noah, quite unthinking, enfolded her in his arms and chastised himself, “I’ve kept you standing out in the cold after scolding you for being out so long. Come, let’s get you home. I didn’t think to bring an extra horse, unfortunately.” He released her except for a grip on one hand. “Could you ride Emperor without a sidesaddle?”

“I suppose I could, but I’ll walk, thank you,” she replied firmly, very aware that he held her hand.

He nodded and headed toward the house with her, the horse calmly plodding along behind them. When Olivia suggested that there was no need for him to walk, he merely grinned and retorted, “It would be most ungentlemanly for me to ride, my dear.” Their ambitious pace left little inclination for conversation, and they were silent until Noah had left Emperor with a groom at the stables.

“Do you wish to be the one to break the news?” he asked quizzingly.

“I’m sure you should be the one to tell your mother, but
I
should like
to tell Julianna.”

As they approached the door he released her hand and tilted her face up to his, a question in his eyes. She felt frozen with indecision, alarmed but curious. A shy, barely perceptible nod was the only sign she gave, but he acknowledged it by bending to touch her lips gently with his. It was the most fleeting of kisses, over almost before it was begun, and she felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. Noah very nearly kissed her again, he was so intrigued by her puzzled expression, but instead he hurried her into the house and ordered her to warm herself at a fire.

Tea was long since over, and she chose to obey his command in her own room where she would be undisturbed. She held her hands to the blaze and considered with some agitation that he had held her hand the whole way to the house, and that he had kissed her. Olivia searched her memory for any other time that she might have been kissed, but she could not clearly remember her parents, and her grandmother had not been particularly affectionate.

A tap at the door was followed by the arrival of Julianna, who had been concerned at her friend’s lengthy absence from the house. “Shall I have a warm bath brought for you?” she asked anxiously at sight of Olivia huddled by the fire.

“No, I’m beginning to thaw now. I didn’t mean to miss tea. Lady Lawrence was not upset, was she?”