His Young Queen: (Steel Jackals MC #1) (5 page)

O-kay. Her mind reeled. She’d been way off.
Way
off. Painfully happy about that, she stepped closer to him. Was she
this
ex-con’s wet dream? She paused when she saw his reaction to her movement. Had he been a cat, his back would have been up, and his tail would have been in the shape of a toilet brush. Going to the left, she circled around to his side, giving him a wide berth, as one would with a spooked animal.

“So, you…like it? You like
me
?”
Do you want me? Will you take me?

He ground his jaw and made a rough sound at the back of his throat. “About as much as all your other boys.”

Heat climbed her neck, and a self-derisive laugh escaped her. “I don’t have any boys, Josh.”

His gaze flipped over to lock with hers. “Say again?”

Unsure where this conversation was going, but anxious to lead it in the direction she knew was right for them, Tish got over her reticence and grew a set.

“I don’t have any boys,” she repeated, opening her expression so he could read the truth there. She hated that she was slightly embarrassed for having morals. Though it hadn’t been her morals so much as her complete lack of interest in any male—that wasn’t this one—that had kept her from experimenting. She forced herself not to drop her eyes but continued to look up at him through her lashes—old habits die hard. “Or, I guess I could say, no boys have ever had me.” Oh, God. Did she just admit that?

“You just offered to let me fuck you because I need the release after so long inside. Plus you’re almost twenty, and you’re gonna tell me no lucky sonofabitch has popped your cherry yet?”

The flutter in her belly grew in strength as she shook her head.

“Anyone grabbed that sweet ass in his hands and held you just right so he could feast on your pussy?”

Her mouth fell open and she knew her eyes had gone wide. Her breathing changed as the act, which starred them, came alive in her mind. She shook her head.

“Played with those gorgeous tits? Sucked on your pretty nipples? Split your pussy lips open and fingered your little slit?”

“Oh, God,” she whispered, shocked to the bone to hear him speak to her like that. But at the same time lust was pouring into her body, turning that flutter into an aching clench rooted deep between her legs. She shook her head vigorously. “No. No one. Not ever. But if you have the urge to play with my body like that, I’ll let you.”

He turned and made her jump when he hammered his fist into the door three times.
“You don’t say that to a man fresh out of prison, Tish!”
he roared. “Especially a man who’s known you half your goddamn life and shouldn’t even have your tits and ass on his radar!”

She went to raise her hand but caught herself at the last minute. She wanted to pacify him even as she riled him up. The way his breaths were chuffing from his wide chest was almost alarming. It was also the sexiest thing
ever
. “But, I want to be with you
because
I know you. I’ve…” Dare she? Dare she tell him how she felt? Her decision was quick to come. “I’ve wanted you to touch me and do those things to me for so long. Now that you’re here, you can.”

“No. I. Can’t,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

Grr.
“Why?”

“Because it wouldn’t be right. You’re my best friend’s niece. He’s my VP, and you’re a little fucking girl!” He spun to face her, straightening to his full height so that he was once more towering over her. “You’re still a goddamn teenager! I’m thirty-eight. That’s plenty old enough for me to know better than to lust after a
goddamn little girl!
”

To Tish, age was just a number. She’d grown up so long ago she didn’t even know when she ceased being a child. At five, seven, at age nine when her mom had OD’d?

Struggling to take yet another “no, thanks” on the chin, she felt something begin to harden inside her. She didn’t like the way it felt, but it bolstered her pride and injected some steel into her spine. “I’ll be twenty in less than two weeks,” she reminded him flatly. His brows drew together at the change in her voice. “And I don’t think I’ve ever been a little girl, Josh. My mom never allowed for that. Anyway, my age has nothing to do with what’s happening here. Or, it shouldn’t.”

She shrugged and went over to worry the tassels hanging from the leather jacket on the stuffed bear that sat on her dresser. She focused on the soft animal and deliberately let her hands fall to her sides. Little girl her ass.

“I suppose I could always head over to the clubhouse with you. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Better than most I’ve had,” she laughed hollowly. “I’m sure while you’re banging some random groupie, one of the guys wouldn’t mind tossing a pity fuck to the naïve little girl who’d hoped to—”

He was on her before she knew what was happening. His big hands grabbed her upper arms, and he crowded her until she was stumbling. It was only her shoulders hitting the wall that stopped their progress. He pressed into her with his entire body, melding them from chest to thigh. The erotic scent of man and leather surrounded her, making her head spin and her mouth water.

“You give it up to any of my boys, and I’ll be back inside by sunrise. Only I’ll be doing life this time because I’ll kill the fucker who dares put his hands on you.”

“Don’t you fucking
dare
,” Tish said fiercely as a sickening panic battled with the pleasure arcing from the roots of her hair to the soles of her feet. God, he felt good. So much better than she could have ever dreamed. He was hard and hot and nowhere near gentle with her. So perfect, this man. Or he would be if he wasn’t such an idiot.

She fisted the sides of his cut, making the leather creak from the strength of her hold. All she could see when he made a threat like that was her returning to the barren life she’d been living without him, while he went back to existing like a caged animal.

“Please don’t ever be so stupid, Josh. You couldn’t go back to living in that place again any more than I could go back to living without you in my life. I’m not strong enough to do this alone anymore. I’m tired. I’m tired and I’m lonely, and I just want you with me. However I can have you. If you just want to be my friend, that’s fine. Just…don’t leave me again. ‘Kay?”

Her voice broke at the end, and as though someone had stuck him with a pin, the aggression slowly leaked out of him. He released the grip he had on her arms and gave her an inch to breathe, but he remained close enough for his forehead to bump against the wall when he let his head fall forward. A wave of goosebumps broke out on her arms when he rubbed his jaw on her damp hair then put his face into it and inhaled quietly. He let the air out of his lungs on a long groan.

“So fuckin’ good,” he said under his breath. “What the hell are you doing, Tish? Why are you talking to me as though we were together yesterday? I thought putting some distance between us would nip this in the bud. What the fuck did I do wrong?”

What? Was
that
why he’d refused to see her? Because he’d recognized what was happening and wanted to stop it? Nothing could stop this.

“Silly, Josh,” she murmured unhappily, hating that he hadn’t wanted the love he must have seen in her eyes every time she looked at him. “Just because I wasn’t with you, doesn’t mean you weren’t with me.” She pressed her hand to her hollow-feeling chest. “Even though you were gone, and I missed you more than you’ll ever know, you live in here, so we were never really apart.” She cringed. “Sorry. That sounded so dramatic and insane. It didn’t until I said it out loud.”

“It’s not insane.” He laced his fingers through hers and brought her hand up to press his lips to her palm.

Humor tried to surface when he didn’t include dramatic in the denial, but Tish was too upset to welcome it.

“Hearing that from you is goddamn beautiful. But you’re gifting that beauty to someone who doesn’t deserve it, honey.”

Her palm tickled from his bristles. “That’s not true. You’re a generous, caring man who deserves every obsessive feeling I have for you.”

He seemed to wilt that much more. “Fuuuck. This isn’t right. You’re gonna kill me, Tish-Tosh. Actually, Nick’s gonna be the one to do the honors when he hears about this. Holy hell. Are you even aware of the sacred rule you’re about to make me break?” His hand landed on her waist, and he squeezed as hope burst to life within her.

The rule he was about to break? Could that mean…? Her thoughts splintered when he sent his hand traveling down over the curve of her hip. He swiped his thumb dangerously close to the crease where her torso met her leg; then he was coming back up to settle at her waist again. Holy shit. Were they going here?

“Yeah, fuck that. You’re not making me. I’m just a weak motherfucker who wants what he wants and is going to take it even though he knows goddamn well he shouldn’t. Tell me to go. Tell me you changed your mind and you want me gone, Tish. You gotta do it because I can’t.”

“No. I don’t want you gone. Not ever.” As much as she hated hearing that undercurrent of self-disgust in his voice, she couldn’t do what he asked. It felt as if she’d been waiting her whole life for this moment, and she wasn’t about to throw it away.

After a long minute of nothing but them breathing and her staring at the diamond shaped patch on his cut that labeled him judge and jury, she couldn’t stand it anymore. When she spoke, she made her voice as unobtrusive as possible, terrified she was going to spook him into fleeing. “Will we do this?”

“Shh. Close that tempting mouth a little longer while I make a real effort to talk myself out of it.”

The tension left her, and she smiled when she heard her old Josh. But no way was she going to give him time to decide this wasn’t right for them when she knew damn well it was. So, feeling her nerves return, Tish, virgin that she was, attempted to seduce a man for the first time in her life. She went with instinct, rather than skill, and simply let the need she felt lead her.

She turned her head and nuzzled her cheek into the hard pillow of his bicep. “Why are you fighting this, Josh? You don’t have to.” She hesitantly lifted the hem of his shirt and placed her hands flat on the hot, tight skin of his waist. She was glad he couldn’t see her because her eyes rolled so far back in her head she was pretty sure she caught a glimpse of her own ass. “I promise to listen and do everything just as you tell me. I’ll make it so good for you. You’ll never find a better student. A more enthusiastic one.” She couldn’t even hear him breathing anymore. “You might as well take what I’m offering you because it’s already yours.”

She stretched up to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw and then followed with a few more light touches of her lips until she reached his Adam’s apple. She was tempted to let her tongue out to play, so badly did she want to taste him, but she wasn’t brave enough.

“I’m not asking for anything in return but some relief. I promise.” She fortified her nerve, then came out with the nastiest thing ever to leave her virgin lips. Never in a million years could she have imagined making such a confession to a man. But this was Josh. She pushed up onto her toes and waited until she felt his earlobe tickle her lips. “My pussy is hungry for you. And no matter how much I make myself come while thinking about you, I can never reach deep enough to satisfy that craving on my own.”

A growl came from his chest as a shudder rocked him. “You little bitch.” His fingers dug into her flesh. “You beautiful, teasing little bitch. You just fucked me. Goddamn you.” He came in to bury his face in her neck and sucked hard on the sensitive skin below her ear. He nipped at her with his sharp teeth. “No fuckin’ way am I walking away from this. Not when it’s you making the offer. So…”

When he didn’t go on but sweetly ran the tip of his nose along her neck and jaw, her frustration peaked right along with her desire, and she lightly scraped her nails across his abs, dabbling just above his belt buckle. She pulled away slightly so she could see him. “Tell me what you want me to do first,” she encouraged.

He squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t. That’ll scare you.” Down his hand went. He reached the outside of her thigh and forcefully gripped her. That didn’t scare her, she thought, as her hips felt the urge to push forward. “I’m gonna make you come with my mouth and fingers, but I won’t fuck you.” He drew back and lifted his lids to look at her when she shivered so hard her teeth nearly chattered.

“Yes, Josh,” she breathed, dying to begin. “Anything. You can do anything you want to me, and I’ll like it.” Was it possible to be a whore and a virgin at the same time?

“You gotta stop saying shit like that, baby.”

The next thing she knew, her breasts were in his hands, and she was gasping as he squeezed the tender mounds, his palms abrading her stiffened peaks. Her body went up in flames, and she had to lock her knees so she wouldn’t fall.

“Sorry. Had to. Always been a breast man, and seeing these tight little nipples is driving me fuckin’ nuts.” He brought his hips in as he spoke, and introduced Tish to what felt like a considerable erection when it ground into her navel. But what did she know? She’d never actually felt one before. He could have been monstrous, or he could have been totally average. The crazy thing was, it was Josh grinding an erection against her—one she’d given him!

He worked his knee between her legs, snugging it right up to her core. “Get out of goddamn jail and the first pussy I’m offered belongs to the one girl I shouldn’t fuckin’ touch. I swear God hates me. The fuck I can back off from you.” She moaned when he caught her right nipple between his fingers and squeezed, then made her moan louder when he bent and fed it into his mouth. He sucked at her, soaking the thin fabric of her shirt.

“Josh…” She was panting already, her heart slamming. Had she seriously been expecting a kiss on the lips first?

“Did you really think I could refuse you, Tish? You’re my one Achilles. Don’t you know that? How
the fuck
do you not know that, you blind little shit?” He grabbed two handfuls of her hair and pinned her head to the wall, and staring directly into her wide, shocked eyes, his next words sucked every lucid thought she’d ever had from her brain. “Can I tell you what I want to do to you right this fuckin’ second? What I’ve dreamed of doing to you? Don’t answer that because I’m going to tell you whether you want to hear it or not.”