His Change of Heart: Unexpected Pregnancy Romance (5 page)

  Then Avery had heard him moan. “I have wanted you since that first day I saw you on campus. And now that I have you, all of you, I’m never letting you go. You are mine now, Avery. I will never let another man have you, and I mean that in the very best way. I’m going to enjoy you, every part of you.” He had stroked her face, her arms and her legs with the back of his fingers. “Your body is to die for. It will make any man, including myself go crazy with desire. God, I want you!”

   His lips had searched for hers again, and he had kissed her greedily, nibbling gently on her lower lip, his tongue making its way into her mouth. And Avery had kissed him back with as much ardor, savoring every second, the after taste of the wine and the taste of her in his mouth.

And, lying on the bed, with Will bent over her, Avery had kept her eyes locked with his as he ripped off his shirt with mad urgency, his buttons flying everywhere across the room, one landing close to her head. Her hands had reached up, and she had unbuckled his leather belt with shaking fingers. And she had watched as he hurried out of his pants and briefs, kicking them wildly to the floor.

And she had looked at Will’s naked body in wonderment, completely mesmerized by his swollen manhood. He was surprisingly well endowed, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. Every part of him was perfect—his hair, his face, his body—certainly his body. What was happening between them was marvelous and beyond her wildest dreams. And she had dreamt about this very special moment between them many, many times, ever since she had met him.

   She had lay in bed at nights, and thought feverishly about what it would be like to be in Will’s arms, to feel his kisses on her lips, over her body, to have him make love to her. It was all she could think about—what it would be like to surrender herself completely to him—what it would feel like for him to possess her in the most intimate and loving way ever. And for the first time, in a very long time, her dream was coming true, in the most wonderful way ever.

   And trembling with desire, Avery had taken him in her hands, circling and caressing the full length of his firmness, slowly, lovingly, all the time, her eyes gazing tenderly into his. Then, she had bent and covered his manhood with soft, leisure kisses, over and over. Then, she heard Will groan as he stroked her hair. Then he had slipped his hand under her chin, and brought her head up to his, and their lips had connected again, hungrily savoring each other. And, Avery had thought that she would explode with all this new found undeniable bliss when Will’s lips left her mouth and made their way to her neck, bare chest, and all the way down to her flat stomach, his tongue moving expertly down to the small of her navel, and to the opening between her arched legs, as he explored her again, with sweet and gentle precision.

   She had moaned loudly, grabbed a handful of Will’s thick hair between her fingers and pressed his head firmly against her womanhood, gasping with delight as his tongue continued to move over every part of her. And when Will had cupped her buttocks in his hands and he had taken all of her into his mouth, passing his tongue leisurely over her, over and over again, Avery had screamed his name, sworn and begged him not to stop.

    He hadn’t. Will had lifted his head for a mere second, and he had gazed up at her with lust filled eyes, and whispered that he would never think of stopping because she was giving him just as much pleasure as she was feeling. Then he had eaten her with such tender longing that he had taken her to a peak of no return, and deluged with all the new, raw emotions racing wildly through her love starved body, Avery had shuddered and climaxed in his mouth, screaming out his name at the same time.

    And Will had responded to her cries of desire by lifting his body over hers, and entering her with a gentle sweetness that had Avery saying words she didn’t know she was capable of. She had whispered Will’s name, urging him to fill her with his firm manhood, swaying her hips back and forth to receive all of him. And as he thrust harder Avery was greeted with a sharp pain, and she had dug her nails deep into Will’s back and cried out.

    Alarmed, Will had pulled back and gazed into her eyes with concern, asking if he had hurt her, if she wanted him to stop. And Avery had responded by grabbing his firm buttocks into her hands and urging him on. She didn’t want the moment to end. Not if she could help it. And with her entire body overcome with ecstasy, a slight lingering pain and an overwhelming feeling of pleasure, she had begged him to continue.

    This feeling was new to her. It was something she had never experienced before. She had waited for a very long time for it, and there was no way she going to deprive herself of this pleasurable moment another second, not if she could help it. She didn’t want it to end. She wanted it to go on and on forever.

     And Will, still being careful, had entered her again slowly, thrusting cautiously into her, then increasing his speed when he felt she was ready to receive all of him. And, Avery had wrapped her hands around his lower back, clinging onto him for dear life, enjoying every sensation of him inside her, moaning in delight, saying his name, and every pleasantry that came to mind.

    And, Will had reached for her hand, clasping his fingers lovingly around hers, gazing passionately into her eyes as he had thrust into her. He didn’t want to hurt her in any way. He wanted her to enjoy her first time with him as much as he was. And he had delved into her, increasing his rhythm at a slow, steady pace, grabbing her firm buttocks into his hands, bringing her closer to him. And Avery had matched him with every thrust, wriggling her hips and pushing herself forward to take all of him every time he had plunged into her, surrendering herself completely to the warm, euphoric sensations that were surging through her eager body.

  She was enjoying this new found feeling of sheer bliss. This was her nirvana moment, her rapture. It was something she hadn’t known existed before now, and she was loving every last moment of it—the way she was feeling with Will inside her—the way her body was responding to him, the intense intimacy between them. He had taken her to a completely different level. And she was happy that she was experiencing this with a man she was certain she had fallen in love with.

   More importantly, she wanted to remember this pleasure filled moment for a very, very long time. She wanted every last detail of their lovemaking, especially the insatiable way Will had explored every last intimate part of her body engraved on her memory for years and years to come. She wanted to live on the sweet memories. She didn’t want to forget any of it. And as Will pushed into her one last time, she had heard herself gasped, and then she had shuddered, falling back swiftly against the covers, with Will’s body on hers.

   After, lying completely satiated in Will’s arms, her body entwined with his, her shapely legs thrown contentedly over his, she had smiled as Will planted light kisses on the top of her head and forehead before reaching for her waiting lips.

   “Why didn’t you tell me?” he had said to her, gazing down lovingly into her face, stroking her bare arm and breasts.

   “What? That I’m a twenty-three year old virgin—that I have never been fully intimate with a man before. It’s almost embarrassing. I don’t think it’s something a girl advertises, especially in this day and age when everyone around me is having wild passionate sex. All my friends are so sexually liberated that I’m embarrassed to tell them that I don’t have the same out of this world experiences with a man that they constantly boast about.”

  “Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a rarity, a treasure. You are remarkable and special.” He kissed her again, cupping her face in his hand and searching for her soft lips once more. “I feel completely honored and humbled by what just happened between us. I would always remember it. I feel extremely lucky that you chose me to be the one. And I respect you for wanting to do what you felt was morally right for you.” He stroked her face. “Do you mind me asking how you held out this long? You are an extremely beautiful and desirable woman. You are gorgeous. There must have been guys. Someone you cared about at one time or the other.”

   “Let’s say I grew up in a very conservative home. My family was very traditional. They didn’t believe in sex before marriage. I had a choice though, especially when I went away to college. But I also wanted my first time to be very special and memorable, with someone I care about. And yes, there have been guys, but no one I felt strongly enough about to sleep with. I didn’t want my first time to be with some hormone driven jerk who wouldn’t remember my name or number the next day. And hearing horror stories from my friends who have had sex with a guy they thought was the one and then got dumped right after, convinced me more than ever that I should wait for that special someone.”

  “And were you disappointed.”

   “Far from it. It was wonderful. I loved every last moment of it. Waiting was totally worth it.”

   “You still should have told me. I would have been gentle. I could have hurt you. Spoil the experience for you.”

   “I’m glad I didn’t say anything, because you were perfect. My first time is exactly how I would have wanted it to be. And I’m happy that it was with you.”

Will reached over and kissed her on the lips. Then he drew her close and wrapped his arms around her. And Avery knew right there and then that she had fallen in love with him. She had just surrendered her body completely to him, and now she was ready to give him her heart a well, without reservations.

Seven

A
very climbed out of bed hours after. She reached for her watch on the night table and glanced at it. It was just after noon. She reached for the white terry robe that had fallen to the floor next to the bed and slipped into it. Then she padded bare feet across the hardwood floor to the bathroom to wash her face. She had tried to sleep, but it had been impossible—she was too wrought-up and upset to fall asleep, even for five minutes.

    She was a mess. Her face felt like it was on fire, her eyes were red and swollen from crying, and her hair was damp from her tears and sweat, and stuck to her head like a second skin. She pulled her thick curls back into a careless ponytail and reached for the bottle of Tylenol in the medicine cabinet. She popped two into her mouth and swallowed them with warm water from the tap. She was developing a major headache. It was just what she needed at the moment—a migraine to add to her aching heart!

   She had spent the last little while after Will left crying her eyes out. And for a brief moment back there she had actually thought of calling him, and accepting his offer to go with him to Chicago, but somehow, she hadn’t been able to bring herself to make the call, because she was still so damn angry at him.

   And in spite of the rage she was experiencing, she still couldn’t help feeling that she had just lost a part of herself—and in a way she did. Will had been a constant presence in her life for the last thirteen months. She couldn’t just ignore that. They had shared so much. They had dated exclusively and done practically everything together. They saw each other almost everyday, well except for the times when Will had to travel out of town or when he was extremely busy with a case.

    They always made it a habit to speak to each other every day no matter how busy they were or where they were. They went on dates at least once a week. They arranged their schedules so that they could take vacations together. Hell, they even cooked together on weekends, trying recipes from exotic cookbooks that never seemed to come out quite right, but which they still ate ravenously with a bottle of imported wine to make it more palatable.

  There was no doubt in her heart that they had a special connection, because she knew they did. They had connected on so many different levels, especially emotionally and intimately. She thought Will was in love with her. She thought they would last for a very long time, not break up so suddenly. Was she wrong to have fallen in love with a man who clearly had commitment issues—some one who even if he cared for her, would never fully commit to her? She didn’t think she was, because she most definitely couldn’t control what she felt for him.

   So, yes, she wasn’t going to beat herself up for loving him. At this point, she was even starting to blame herself for the break up. She was wondering if she hadn’t given Will that final push out the door and out of her life. She didn’t know what else to think. She knew she hadn’t been entirely supportive of the long hours he put in at the firm, or the frequent trips he took out of town for work, especially when they had plans together. And at times, she couldn’t help feeling like she had been competing with his job.

   She finally decided to call her friend Julia, after debating for the last hour. She didn’t exactly feel like talking to anyone, but she suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of brooding sadness that she felt she needed to connect with someone—someone who wouldn’t exactly judge her because she couldn’t keep a man. She was no Taylor Swift! She knew Julia would be the last person to cast judgment on her. Besides, Julia wasn’t exactly close to Will like her other friends were. Julia had met Will a few times, and she wasn’t exactly a big fan of his—simply because he was a “rich white guy,” as Julia liked to call him.

  “Avie, sweetie, how have you been. It’s been a while. I thought you moved back to Montana.”

   “Hi, Jules. No, I’m still here. And it hasn’t been that long. A month doesn’t seem like that long.”

    “It is for me, honey. I encourage my friends to keep in touch often. That way, I will know what’s going on with them. So, how are you Avie? Are you still teaching at that school with all the rich, spoilt kids?”

  “I’m still there, Jules.”

   “I don’t know how you do it. I hope they are good to you.”

   “They are good kids. I guess I got lucky.”

     “How is Will?”

   She didn’t mean to, but she couldn’t help it—she suddenly burst into tears.

   “Oh, honey, is everything okay? It’s Will, isn’t? That rascal! What have he done? I hope he hasn’t been fooling around behind your back. I will kill him if he was. Jeez! These men will never learn that when they find a good woman they should hold onto her for dear life. And the skirts they are out there chasing, are just that—skirts!”

   “We broke up, but I’m not sure there was someone else involved.”

   “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” Avery could hear the sadness in her friend’s voice. “You are not certain he was with someone? When did this happen?”

    “This morning.”

  “Avie, sweetie, why didn’t you call me. You should have called me. I’ve been here all day. Don’t tell me you have been sitting in that apartment all alone crying your poor eyes out.”

   “It’s okay, Jules. I wanted a bit of time alone.”

  “You still should have called me. I can’t believe Will will hurt you this way. You guys seemed like the perfect couple. I didn’t see this coming.”

    “And neither did I.”

   “Are you saying he blindsided you. That rat! What possessed him to do something like that? He seemed so much in love with you.”

   “He’s talking a job in Chicago.”

    “And he didn’t think of taking you along. Don’t shed another tear over him, honey. I’m on my way over. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

   “Thanks, Jules, but I’m fine.”

   “No, you are not fine. It’s not okay for you to be alone. You will drive yourself crazy thinking about him. I have a bottle of good old scotch here. I will be there in thirty minutes.”

   “What about Greg. Don’t you guys have plans for the day?”

   “Screw, Greg! And I hope he’s hearing me!”  She heard Julia raised her voice. “What’s going on with you is more important. Greg can survive the rest of the day alone. Talk of which, he has been getting on my last good nerve lately—typical man—hopeless and helpless, can’t do anything for themselves. To tell the truth, I can do with a break from him.”

   “Okay, Jules, see you later.”

  Avery laughed and hanged up the phone. She knew she could always count on Julia to make her laugh. Julia was one of the first persons she had met when she arrived in New York. She had been standing outside the building of the apartment she had rented in Washing Heights for the landlord to arrive with the keys. And Julia had seen her standing in the late July heat, and had ushered her inside, offering her a cold drink while she waited. They had become good friends ever since, even after Avery had moved out of the building the following year. Julia was a bus driver with the transit company, and a wonderful person—someone she was always happy to have in her corner.    

    After, she racked her brain, going over every last details of the last days and weeks, looking for clues that might have told her that something was wrong, she but she came up with nothing. There hadn’t been any real arguments between them. And if she remembered, they had seen each other everyday during the last weeks, which was a record for them because of their busy schedules. Will had made certain he was there for her. And when she had asked him about the amount of time he was taking off work to spend with her, he had told her not to worry, that he had delegated some of the less important contracts and litigations to two of the other lawyers at the firm because he wanted to be with her.

   They had been standing in the kitchen, and he had wrapped his arms around her, kissing her passionately. She had been so impressed that he was making time for her. She certainly hadn’t thought anything about it when he had picked her up from work every day last week and the week before that. He would call and tell her he was on his way to get her. Then he would drive to an upscale restaurant where they would have drinks and then an intimate dinner. And there were the times in the last week when she had come home and had found him cooking dinner for her. He had met her at the door with a glass of red wine in hand. Then he had ran her a hot bath for her, and massaged her tired feet after, with a special scented lotion he had purchased at an organic shop in Soho.

    He had also spent every night at her place, even when he had to go to court early the next morning. She had found it a bit surprising at first because they usually alternate their time between his place and hers, but she hadn’t actually given it a second thought. She was just happy that he was there with her. And they were enjoying each other’s company. He had been extremely attentive to her too, hardly ever leaving her for long periods of time. Even business calls which used to take an hour or two to get through were done in thirty, forty minutes max.

    And they had done the usual things together. Will had never let on that he was planning to break up with her and move hundred of miles away. No wonder he had wanted to make love to her every night he was over. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her. God! He was having break up sex with her, and she didn’t even know it. She hadn’t thought anything about his insatiable sexual appetite because they were so sexually compatible. They made love almost every time they were together and enjoyed it. Their love life had never been a problem, neither had it been boring or forced. There were times when Will would kiss and fondle her and they would end up having sex right then and there—whether on the kitchen floor, on the rug in the living room in front of the fireplace, in the shower, or in the Jacuzzi at his place.

  And thinking about their times together made Avery missed him even more. She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the still fresh memories, as she struggled back to the bathroom. She switched on the bright light, and was greeted by the strong whiff of the organic shampoo Will used, and the after scent of his cologne. And she burst into tears again.

    It only reminded her that he won’t be coming around anymore—washing his hair in the shower the mornings he slept over at her place, or splashing cologne on his naked body with her watching him. She leaned heavily on the door and closed her eyes. Then she went and splashed cold water all over her flushed face. After, she peered at herself in the large mirror, and the face looking back at her didn’t seem like hers. Her face was tear-stained. She looked awful—beaten up and sad. She couldn’t believe her appearance had changed so drastically in a matter of hours. She also couldn’t remember the last time she had been this miserable or she had cried this much.

     And the time she had lost her parents didn’t count, because she had been too young to grasp the enormity of what it was to lose someone you loved. She had grieved her parents the best way she knew how—the way any twelve year old would. But what she was feeling now was nothing compared to back then. It wasn’t the same thing. She was experiencing full blown misery. She was still in love with Will, and her heart wasn’t ready to let go of what she was feeling for him.

     She decided to run a bubble bath. A good soak in the tub for an hour or so would probably do her a world of good. But as she stood over the tub, her hands resting on the faucets, Avery realized that getting into the large tub only reminded her of the times she had spent there with him. They had taken dozens if not hundreds of baths there together, splashing around and giggling like kids, washing each other’s bodies and hair, sipping champagne, singing along happily to whatever song was coming from the stereo in the bedroom through the opened door, and making love when they felt like it.

    Avery shook her head absently and decided to take a quick shower instead. She turned on the water at full blast and stepped inside. She stood under the hot steady flow of water for a while without doing anything. She didn’t feel she had the strength to lift her arms to reach for the pouf. She just stood there and let the water pummel her tired body. Then she began to sob. The tears just kept coming and she made no attempt to stop them. She wasn’t certain she could, even if she wanted to.

   She felt so drained, both emotionally and physically. Her body felt as if it had literally taken a physical beating, like she had been through the wringer. And she felt like crawling up somewhere and staying there forever, but that clearly wasn’t a practical option or even a solution for her right now. Life went on, including hers, whether she liked it or not. The world as she knew it wasn’t about to come to an end because her relationship was in tatters.

    The phone was ringing when she stepped out of the shower and she decided to ignore it. She knew it wasn’t Jules, because she was on her way over. She grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped her wet hair in it. Then slipped into her robe and reached for the hairdryer to blow dry her hair. The phone ran again soon after, and she still didn’t move to answer it. It could be Will again for all she knew. She glanced at the clock. Jules would be here in ten minutes. She wanted to be dressed and ready, then. And if it was Will calling her, she didn’t want to talk to him. She had absolutely nothing to say to him. He was probably calling to check up on her for all she knew. And she would die if she heard pity in his voice, asking if she was okay in a way you would a wounded puppy or a child who had fallen and bruised her knee.