Authors: Charles R. Cross

Here We Are Now (16 page)

BOOK: Here We Are Now

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But sometimes even thinking about Kurt's medical problems makes me feel melancholy, simply because there's a sadness in armchair quarterbacking a life that has already been lost. I'm nearly certain that if Kurt had been treated with a medical “whole body” approachâwith all his issues tackled by a talented teamâhis drug addiction may have been easier to beat once his other problems were in check. Kurt's lifelong stomach ailments caused him the greatest physical pain in his life, and when he discovered that opiates helped block that hurt, his addiction never receded for long. There are so many what-ifs in the story of a man who dies young and tragically. There are no answers, no matter how many hours you spend pondering, no matter how long you dream. Events of history don't change just because you wonder about them, or Larry King asks a thousand what-ifs.

When you wake up from your dream, that haunting red Line One button is still flashing, still waiting for you.

And he's still gone.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Special thanks go to Carrie Thornton (who like me has Bunnymen albums next to punk-rock ones), and Sarah Lazin (pretty fine classic-album collection as well) for the steerage on this project. Other support came from Cal Morgan, Brittany Hamblin, Doug Manelski, Manuela Jessel, Heidi Metcalfe Lewis, Lorie Pagnozzi, and the rest of the staff at It Books and HarperCollins. For help with research or interviews within the world of Nirvanaâon this project and past onesâI'd like to acknowledge the assistance of Ryan Aigner, Cortney Alexander, Mark Arm, Joris Baas, Skip Berger, Jim Berkenstadt, Lauren Brown, Aaron Burckhard, Jeff Burlingame, David Byrnes, Nicole Jon Carroll, Chad Channing, Marco Collins, Stephanie Coontz, Kurt Danielson, Marie Walsh Dixon, Mike Doughty, Mari Earl, Jasen Emmons, Jack Endino, Steve Fisk, Gillian Gaar, Cam Garret, Dave Grohl, Rasmus Holmen, Mitch Holmquist, John Hughes, Robert Hunter, David Jobes, Chaz Kangas, Stephanie Kuehnert, Erica Krusen, Andrea Linett, Courtney Love, Tracy Marander, Jacob McMurray, Michael Meisel, Krist Novoselic, Harold Owens, Bruce Pavitt, Jonathan Poneman, Charles Peterson, Hilary Richrod, Pepper Schwartz, Ava Stander, Susie Tennant, Kim Thayil, Vicki Wagner, Alice Wheeler, and Mike Ziegler.

I'd also like to thank my family, including Ashland Cross, Bettie Cross, Catherine Cross, Herb Cross, Joe Guppy, John Keister, Brenda Lane, Geoff MacPherson, Carl Miller, Matt Smith, and Sarah Westbook. Thanks also go to Ken Anderson, Will Balla, Erik Bell, Julie Cascioppo, Peter Callaghan, Amber Caska, Aaron Coberly, Caspian Coberly, Mary Crandall, Paul DeBarros, Don Desantis, Melissa Duane, David Dubois, Sue Ennis, Cathy Erickson, Erik Flannigan, Wayne Foster, David French, Ray Rae Goldman, Nancy Guppy, Robert Hilburn, Josh Jacobson, Larry Jacobson, Dwight Jacobson, Eric Johnson, Bill King, Mary Kohl, John Kohl, Chris Kornelis, Gretchen Lauber, Joe Lee, Arthur Levin, Ben London, Cindy May, Summer Mayne, Norman McGlashan, Lance Mercer, Curtis Minato, Barbara Mitchell, Marshall Nelson, Mark Nuckols, Michael O'Mahony, Harley O'Neil Jr., Don O'Neill, Shannon Payne, Peter Philbin, Chris Phillips, Ed Pierson, Rebecca Polinsky, Jonathan Pont, the staff of
The Rocket
(1979â2000, R.I.P.), Bob Rivers, Craig Rosenberg, Mary Schuh (R.I.P.), Shinkle Family, Megan Snyder-Camp, Denise Sullivan, Sam Sutherland, Charley Sweet, Brad Tolinski, Mary Truscott, Ron Upshaw, Mary Anne Vance, Michael Wansley, Cynthia West, Ann Wilson, Nancy Wilson, Amely Wurmbrand, and, of course, Larry King, without whom this book wouldn't have had a beginning.

This book addressed the impact of the life and work of someone who died way too young, because of many complications. If you or someone you know needs assistance with mental health or addiction issues, there are resources are available. There are free addiction and recovery support groups in virtually every city in the United States, and the only requirement for attendance is a desire to break the habit. The MusiCares MAP Fund is one group that provides specific assistance for musicians or those in the music industry in need of addiction-recovery services (Musicares.org, 1-800-687-4227). In the field of suicide prevention, there are many resources available, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention lists many on their website (cdc.gov/violence prevention/suicide/). The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) maintains a twenty-four-hour hotline (1-800-273-TALK). Every year the AFSP holds walkathons in hundreds of cities around the United States to raise funds and increase awareness about this national health crisis. There is help.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Photo by Doug Manelski

CHARLES R. CROSS
has written nine books, including
Heavier Than Heaven: The Biography of Kurt Cobain
, which was a
New York Times
bestseller, won the 2002 ASCAP Award for Outstanding Biography, and was called “one of the most moving and revealing books ever written about a rock star” by the
Los Angeles Times.
He is also the author of the
New York Times
bestseller
Room Full of Mirrors: The Biography of Jimi Hendrix
and was the coauthor of the
New York Times
bestseller
Kicking & Dreaming: A Story of Heart, Soul, and Rock & Roll
, with Ann and Nancy Wilson. He lives in Seattle, Washington.

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www.AuthorTracker.com
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ALSO BY CHARLES R. CROSS

Backstreets: Springsteen, the Man and His Music

Led Zeppelin: Heaven and Hell

Nevermind: Nirvana

Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain

Room Full of Mirrors: A Biography of Jimi Hendrix

Cobain Unseen

Led Zeppelin: Shadows Taller Than Our Souls

Kicking & Dreaming: A Story of Heart, Soul, and Rock & Roll
(coauthored with Ann and Nancy Wilson)

CREDITS

Cover design by Gregg Kulick

Front cover photograph Â© by Michel Linssen/Redferns/Getty Images

Back cover photograph Â© by AJ Barrett/Retna UK/Retna Ltd.

COPYRIGHT

H
ERE WE ARE NOW
. Copyright Â© 2014 by Charles R. Cross. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

FIRST EDITION

ISBN 978-0-06-230821-4
EPub Edition February 2014 ISBN 9780062308245

14 15 16 17 18
OV/RRD
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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