Forget Me Not (25 page)

“Please, can you use my other arm? I don’t want to wake him,” I whisper.

She nods politely and continues to check my stats. After a few minutes she writes on my notes and lets me know that all is good. She leaves me with some pain killers and exits through the curtains. When she closes them behind her, Jesse stirs and I hold my breath, hoping that he will go back to sleep.

“Is everything okay?” he asks before his eyes even have chance to fully open.

“Everything’s fine. Go back to sleep, Jesse.” I stroke his hair, but he straightens up immediately.

“Was there a nurse in here? Are you okay?”

“I’m great. She was just checking my stats and everything is fine. Stop worrying.” I smile.

He sighs with relief and rubs his hands over his eyes and through his hair, attempting to wake up. Even when he is clearly tired and his unshaven, unwashed face is tense with stress, he still looks amazing. He looks rugged and not at all like the hotshot he really is. He yawns sleepily and my heart swells at the sight of my man. My man, who through his love for me has spent the last twenty-four hours in a sea of worry. I couldn’t be any more in love with him than I am at this moment.

“Do you need anything?” he asks before standing and kissing my aching forehead.

“Some breakfast would be good. I’m starving and you need to eat.”

“I’ll sort it. I just need to go to the bathroom first, okay?” I nod as he disappears hurriedly before rushing back to kiss my hand in his special Jesse way. “Love you.”

While he’s gone I take the opportunity to text my mom, asking her if she can pick Jesse up some clothes and toiletries from a store and I will pay her back when she gets here. He has been in the same clothes for twenty-four hours straight and without showering. I can imagine he feels pretty grim. She immediately replies with her compliance and tells me that they are leaving the hotel soon so will be with me within the hour.

Reminded of my own hygiene and appearance, I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Carefully steadying myself, I stand and reach out for my bag. I take out my compact and hesitantly hold it up to my face, gasping when I see the reflection. My skin is a ghostly shade of ivory with unhealthy bruising underneath each eye. My brown eyes are dull and tinged pink with stubborn traces of mascara smeared into my matted lashes.

Immediately grateful for the overnight kit that I prepared for my night with Jesse, I retrieve a hair tie from my bag and fasten my lank locks into a pony tail, wincing at the tenderness caused by the movement. I find some wipes to remove what remains of my makeup and feel instantly refreshed. I apply some balm to my dry lips and I secure my bangs away my face. When I turn to get back into bed Jesse enters through the parted curtains and races to my side as if I am about to fall.

“Mickey, no! Let me help you,” he scolds. With his one hand holding my waist and his other hand gripping my arm he eases me onto the bed.

“I do have full use of my legs, ya’ know,” I moan.

He shakes his head in annoyance. “Just let me look after you, please.”

I roll my eyes but can’t deny the smile that ignites from his care.

“You look more like yourself,” he murmurs against my cheek as he kisses it. “I’ve ordered you some breakfast but it might be a while. They don’t normally serve food until gone eight. I went down to the gift shop but all they had left was chocolate and chips. You need a better breakfast than that. I’ve asked for the full works.”

“And that is why I love you.”

“Because I feed you?”

“Well, that and the fact that you’re amazing.” I reach for his hand and pull him nearer to me. “Seriously, Jesse, I can’t imagine getting through all of this without you. I don’t know how I am ever going to begin thanking you.” I kiss his knuckles as he has done to me countless times. He leans down and places a kiss on my lips, so cautiously, as if I will shatter under his touch.

“You can thank me by getting better and letting me look after you. When I take you home you’re not to lift a finger. Benjamin and I are planning on playing Alfred to our Batwoman for the next few days, and I want no resistance, okay?”

“You’re coming home with me?” I ask, my eyes popping wide with hope.

Pulling away enough to eye me seriously, he stares deep into my lifeless browns. “Of course I’m coming home with you. You really think I’d let you go home alone after this?”

“I wouldn’t be alone. I’d have my parents and Joanna,” I insist, and then proceed to internally kick myself for giving him any reason to stay away.

“That’s not the point. I want to be the one to look after you,” he declares.

“What about your meetings?”

“Mickey, I could have meetings set up with Obama, Oprah and Elvis fucking Presley and I’d still blow them off to be with you.” He smiles his wicked smile and kisses the tip of my nose before pulling away to sit on the bed.

“If it’s possible, I love you even more today,” I announce, nudging him with my leg.

“I love you more with every passing minute. So, let’s not waste anymore.”

Unable to answer due to the lump that has arisen in my throat, I hold up my pinky finger to him. He loops his own finger around mine and brings our hands to his mouth before blessing them with a kiss.

After a much needed shower I dress in some fresh clothes and I am more than ready to go home. My parents have arrived wanting to escort me home but I really want to ride with Jesse, and rather surprisingly, they make no attempt to change my mind. My mom has stuck to her word and brings in a change of clothes for Jesse, along with some underwear and toiletries for him to freshen up. Initially, he doesn’t want to accept them. He offers my mom money but she refuses and after stubborn insistence from her, he finally takes them. I try to pay her for them when Jesse is out of earshot but she refuses once more, stating that it was the least she could do after the love that he has shown for her daughter and family.

The car journey home takes almost double the time when Jesse insists on driving to accommodate my injuries. We argue and I give in, knowing that what he has done for me during the last twenty-four hours has secured him a lifetime of me backing down.

When we arrive home Benjamin is waiting on the doorstep for me with Joanna and Zoe. He falls into my arms and I unashamedly weep. The thought of leaving him without a mother in this world has terrified me since the crash. I know I wasn’t at deaths door, but what if I had been? The ease in which something so serious can happen is frightening. Benjamin doesn’t leave my side for hours and I don’t want him to.

After demolishing the food that Jesse ordered in for us all the rest of my family are persuaded to leave, allowing us to finally relax. Emma phoned and let me know that she was thinking of me but didn’t want to disturb me knowing that we would have a houseful of guests. I love that she knows exactly what to do or say. We arrange to catch up tomorrow instead.

Chapter 24

The next few days blur together like a sweetly edited montage titled ‘Michaela’s Recovery.’ Visitors come and go bearing gifts of flowers and fruit and I am needlessly waited on hand and foot. I’m grateful for the kindness shown to me and for the time to catch up with friends and relatives, but I’m also aware of how unnecessary it all is. I wasn’t seconds away from death and I haven’t had my spine snapped in two.

Emma is the only one to treat me normally, well, after blubbing in my arms on her initial arrival. When she finally settled down she cursed me for being a shoddy driver and proceeded to fill me in on all of the foods that have made her nauseous. Almost everything by the sound of it. She laughed but I can see that she’s lost weight. She helped me eat my fruit on insistence from both myself and Jesse.

Jesse and Benjamin have taken their nursing duties to the extreme and I am scolded if I so much as reach for my own drink. At first I enjoyed the rarity of being looked after, but by Thursday I’ve had enough. So I lie, telling them that I feel perfectly fine, that nothing hurts anymore so there is no need for them to do anything for me. I’m only half lying as my headache has completely disappeared. All that remains is a slightly stiff neck and back, but no more so than if I’d been doing intensive exercise.

My little white lie seems to do the trick and normal service resumes. I’m even able to persuade them to allow me to go to work during the afternoon. My meeting with EDDEX Records is tomorrow and I’m ridiculously unprepared. Jesse and Benjamin drop me off and pick me up several hours later after I’ve managed to produce an acceptable presentation, should they expect one.

I’m warmed by the thought of Jesse and Benji spending time together. They look so at ease in each other’s company that I have absolutely no qualms about leaving them alone.

When we arrive home, the table has been set with new candles and tableware. The room soon flickers with soft flames and an acoustic guitar strums softly through the stereo.

They
have
been busy.

I take in the sights before turning to see Jesse and Benjamin remove their jackets, revealing smart shirts and trousers. After expressing my immense appreciation I excuse myself to swap my jeans and t-shirt for a blouse and black skater skirt, purposely choosing something with short sleeves and a low neck so as to show off Jesse’s watch and ring at my neck.

On my return Jesse and Benjamin stand from their chairs at the beautifully decorated table. Witnessing such chivalry from my littlest angel causes another damn lump to form in my throat and I have to fight the urge to cry. I mean, it got me in so much trouble the last time.

Although confused as to the occasion of such a special dinner, I’m not completely surprised. I have been showered with gifts and affection since my return from hospital so I assume that this is just a continuation. Either that or it’s to help me take my mind off my meeting tomorrow. Either way I’m extremely grateful.

Jesse pulls the chair out for me and tucks it in once I’m seated. We devour the first course with ease, then, as we finish the last of the pasta, Benjamin excuses himself from the table and rushes to his room.

“What’s he doing?”

“He has a surprise for you.
We
have a surprise for you.” Jesse says through a shy smile.

“You have both done more than enough already.” I complain, shaking my head, feeling embarrassed by all of the attention.

Jesse leans in a little closer to me and lowers his head as if about to whisper me a secret. “I think we should tell him about us, about being engaged.”

My mind flashes with worry, but it is beaten back quickly by an overriding happiness. I have nothing to be worried about when it comes to Benjamin’s reaction. He loves Jesse like he has known him years. I nod my head enthusiastically, unable to vocalize my thoughts as Benjamin skips down the stairs.

In his hands is a gift box almost as big as himself. He shuffles towards us before Jesse takes pity and relieves his little arms. He places it on my lap and I’m surprised to find that it’s deceivably light.

“It’s not my birthday, guys,” I report as I roll my eyes with exaggeration.

“It’s not a birthday present. It’s actually a present for us all,” Jesse responds before nervously biting his lips into a tight line.

Both sets of eyes encourage me to tear the paper and open the box. Inside I find layers and layers of tissue paper. I remove them individually and place them on the table, not wanting to miss anything.

“Just empty the box, Mom!” Benji squeals.

In response I start emptying the tissue paper with added enthusiasm until I come to the bottom of the box. All of that fuss for a small envelope that sits at the base. They chuckle at my faint annoyance.

The envelope has already been opened and is addressed to Lee Jenner. I pick it up and hold it in front of Jesse.

“I don’t get it. It’s addressed to you.”

“Just open it, sweets.”

His excitement has almost completely dissipated. All I see now are his deep blue’s full with concern. Why would he be so anxious over a gift?

Benjamin is practically bouncing at my side as I remove the contents of the envelope. I unfold a wad of paper that is stapled together at the corner and I scan the page. I’m washed over with confusion as I realize I’m reading an advertisement for a property. The image on the front cover is that of an enormous house. One that once upon a time would have oozed grandeur but now seems a little run down. I flick through the pages unable to concentrate long enough to read anything other than the address.

It’s not in Starling.

Holding it up once more I stare down Jesse, willing him with my eyes to clarify my confusion. “It’s our new house!” Benji shouts and jumps into Jesse’s lap, unknowingly shielding him from my brewing wrath.

“You bought us a house?” I ask, incredulously.

He nods cautiously and holds Benjamin a little tighter. I put the papers down and stand up so that I can walk to the fridge. I pour myself a glass of wine, needing to gather both my thoughts and my patience in front of my son.

“I’ve bought us a house.” Jesse eyes the wine in my hand and bites his lip nervously. “Are you sure you should be drinking.”

“Yes. Very sure.”

“But…”

“But nothing. I’m not on any pain meds and I am not in any pain,” I grumble.

“Okay,” he replies, holding his hands up to gesture his surrender. “Hey, Benji, how about you go and watch some cartoons while your mom and I clear the plates and get us something for dessert.”

Benji nods and hops over to the couch so that we can commence a very heated but very hushed discussion.

With the sound of cartoons echoing from the living room the starting pistol fires in my head. “Jesse, I can’t believe you’ve done this,” I chide as I start clearing the plates.

“Why not? I don’t see the problem. You were happy for me to live with you before tonight so why the sudden change of heart?”

“Of course I want you to live with us, Jesse, but going behind my back? And besides, I wanted us to live in Starling.”

“Really?” he retorts, sarcastically. “That’s not the impression I’ve gotten lately. We’ve talked about this. You know that it makes more sense for you to be in New York. Your career needs it, my career needs it. Yes, I could spend half my time here and half my time there, but that would mean spending half of my time away from you and Benji. I can’t do that. Not anymore.”

We’re clearing the table and washing the plates with unnecessary intensity. As if the plates have wronged us in some way.

“But I’ve already told you. It’s too far, Jesse. I can’t move to New York.”

“It’s not in New York.”

I’m confused. I know that I didn’t catch the full address, but seeing that it wasn’t here was enough for me to assume. “It’s not Starling,” I say.

“No, it’s exactly half way between the two.”

“What?”

“If you could drop a pin on a map exactly half way between the two you would find our new house. Well, what I want to be our new house.”

I’m momentarily stunned. I’m trying to establish why I think this is a bad idea but I’m stumped. Exactly half way?

“So it’s…”

“About an hour and a half from here. We can come back whenever you want, every Sunday still, that wouldn’t have to change. We can even build a guest house for everyone to stay over.” He steps a little closer, still too cautious to be within touching distance though. “Don’t you see how perfect it is?”

“You’d travel that far to work every day?”

“I don’t need to be there every day, Mickey. I’m the boss. The big boss,” he insists, smiling faintly. “And besides, I need to keep an eye on my latest venture in Starling.”

I sigh, unable to determine my own emotions. “I guess, I just wish that you’d ran it by me first. It should have been something that we discussed together, not something that you decided to do as a surprise.”

“Nothing is confirmed until you’ve seen the house. I took Benji today and he loved it, but we won’t touch it unless you do too.”

“He loved it?” 

“It has enough outside space for a soccer pitch, apparently.” He smiles but hides it quickly when he sees that his joy is not mirrored in my own expression.

I turn back to washing the plates as I try to make sense of my things. He’s put so much thought into this and I can’t fault his logic. I just hate the decision being taken away from me. It doesn’t sound like anything has been finalized yet though, so maybe I can take a look and have the decisive say.

Oh God, what will my parents think of this? I can only imagine the conversation where we tell them that not only are we engaged but we are also moving away.

As I fight with the idea over and over again in my head, Jesse sits watching me intently. All the plates have been cleared and I’ve been standing here for much longer than necessary. Even with everything in my body telling me that it is too much too soon, I can’t help but feel like it is a completely natural development. I want nothing more than to live with Jesse, and Benjamin certainly seems to feel the same way. The house itself is something that I would have been drawn to if I’d have had the money, particularly the idea of a project, and the location does help with a lot of issues. I have so many questions, but inevitably they all lead to the same answer.

“Okay,” I sigh.

“Sorry?” He stands and steps closer towards my back. I refuse to turn around as I repeat myself.

“Okay, I’ll go see it. But I’m just looking, nothing is decided yet. Yes?”

“Thank you. I promise, it’s your call. I’ll arrange a viewing for next week.”

Stepping closer still, his hands wrap around my waist and his mouth presses against my hair. I turn around and move my soapy wet hands to his cheeks and tap them lightly.

“You do like to keep me on my toes,” I growl.

Lifting me gently so that I am now, in fact, on my tip toes, he leans in and just when I think that he is going to kiss me, he turns and rubs his wet cheek against mine. I cry out and laugh before grabbing his face and forcing a kiss onto his ready mouth. He pulls apart and his expression adopts a slightly sterner look.

“Nobody has ever made me feel as nervous as you do.”

“I make you nervous?” I ask, shocked.

“On a daily basis. I’m not used to it. I constantly worry about how I make you feel.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel like that.”

“Don’t be sorry, sweets. It only strengthens you’re importance to me. Nobody has ever owned me so completely. My body has been owned before but never my mind.”

I wince at the understanding. “I love you and your mind, even your stupid ideas,” I joke.

“My stupid ideas are my best ideas.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Now, shall we stop wasting any more time and speak to Benjamin?”

I inhale and exhale, wanting to calm my energy but failing. I nod my head hurriedly and push Jesse gently towards where Benji sits.

“Oh, there’s some ice cream in the freezer,” he calls back as he makes his way to the couch and falls next to Benji.

I grab the tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, smiling in the knowledge that Benji would have chose it because it reminds him of his name. Taking three spoons from the drawer I march purposely to join my little family in the living room.

Finding my seat next to Benjamin so that he is squashed between Jesse and me, I dish out the spoons and hold the carton between us all. As we tuck in, Jesse gives me an encouraging wink. I haven’t had time to think about how to approach the subject. I decide on keeping it casual and downplaying the importance of what we’re about to discuss.

“So, Benji, if we’re all going to be living together like a family, what do you think about making it official?”

“By getting a dog?” he enthuses.

“No honey, that’s not what I meant…”

“But, Emma and Tom and Lily have a dog,” he huffs.

“Yes, but Emma and Tom got
married
before they got a dog,” I hint, but his six year old brain doesn’t catch on.