Forever. (This. Is. Not. Over. Book 3) (21 page)

             
“No heart. He doesn’t deserve to be at the firm. You, Cadence, me. We’re Blair and Associates.”

             
“We both know Cadence is on his way out. And cut Nat some slack,” Mac says as we stand in front of the bar now, waiting on this slow-ass blond guy to come and take our drink orders. “Dena’s already driving him up the wall with her prima donna bullshit. And trust me, I have compassion for the man. We all can’t be as lucky as you,” he says as he nods towards Winnie. “His home life is a damn wreck. At least give him an office to run away to.”

“Who’s lucky?” I ask almost offensively. Mac smiles and nods at me.

“You, muthafucka. You’re happy with your wife.”

And the guilt rises again.

I shouldn’t be the lucky one. I shouldn’t be the one who looks forward to going back to his flat. I was the one who fought and screamed the most about marrying a woman for leverage and not love. Out of all of us, I, Jacob Blair, think that people should marry for love. Even
Cadence
married Lola for leverage, which eventually turned into love.
Cadence
. I was the one who nearly called off my wedding. And now look at me. I’m probably the happiest.

             
I’m in love with Winnie Blair.

             
And there’s that guilt. I’m in love with my wife, though I made a pact with myself that I would never fall in love with her. I couldn’t imagine doing that to Jasmine. It wouldn’t be fair if I fell in love with Winnie when I knew that Jasmine, as good as she was to me, was out there heartbroken. I should be in a loveless marriage where I come home miserable every day and stay in the office all night just to avoid my woman’s face. I should be Nat or Malcolm. I shouldn’t be happy.

But I am.

“Hey, handsomes,” a woman says as she slides in between Mac and me, staring straight ahead. She wants to figure out which one of us will take the bait. Tall, brunette, ample ass. She has nothing on Winnie.

But that’s never stopped me before.

“What’s going on, baby?” I say to her. She turns completely towards me and smiles.

“Nothing. What’s going on with you?”

              “Nothing much … drink?”

“An apple martini
,” she says as she smiles up at me through her lashes. I watch Malcolm steal a look over at Winnie. “What’s your name?”

             
“Peter. Yours?”

             
“Marge.”

             
“Nice to meet you, Margie.”

             
“Margie? You’ve given me a nickname already?” She smiles and bats her lashes.

             
“I have.”

             
“Okay then, Pete.”

             
“Pete? You’ve given me a nickname now?”

             
“I have.”

             
“Hmm…”

             
“Yeah … hmm.” We smile at each other before I steal another glance back over to Winnie who’s nodding along to Laura and Cadence who are almost dying laughing over each other. They seem to be having a dramatic and hilarious conversation as Lola just smiles and nods before wrapping her arm inside of Cadence’s. He takes a break from laughing with Laura to look at Lola and give her a quick kiss on the lips. Laura stops smiling.
Sweet
, I see Laura mouth before downing the rest of her Shirley Temple. I watch Winnie take a sip of her drink.

Winnie. Damn, I love her.

But Jasmine.

Jasmine was too good to me, I shouldn’t love another woman. I shouldn’t have married another woman. I shouldn’t have done that to her. I shouldn’t be in love with Winnie. Karma should have fucked me over. I shouldn’t be lucky. I shouldn’t be happy.

“What you getting into this week, Margie?” I ask as I move closer to her.

             
“I don’t know, Pete. What are
you
getting into?”

Jasmine

(
the. dream
.)

             
I’m having a dream, or at least I hope it’s a dream. Am I dreaming? God, I hope so.

             
“It’s
my
frying pan!” Pearl yells out as she and Tiffany both hold on to it in the middle of Malcolm and Danielle’s kitchen.

“No, it’s not!” Tiffany yells back. “I was about to hit
Mom with it first!”

“No,
I
was!” Did they just say they were about to hit me with it?

             
I hear a heartbeat.

             
“Ladies,” Marlon says as he appears beside me. “I need to use that pan as a paper weight. I have work to do.” He turns to me. “I think I can explain what’s going on.”

“Marlon, do something!” I scream to him.

              “You see,” he says, ignoring me, “they both want to hit you with the pan but they both want to be the first one to do it.”

             
“Do something!” I yell at him as Tiffany and Pearl’s tug of war continues.

             
“I’m turning on the stove,” Danielle says as she breezes into the kitchen, her red hair trailing behind her like fiery flames. “I need to make some tea and scones.”

             
“Danielle, do something!” I say to her as she begins turning on the stove.

             
“Like what? I’m not even talking to you.” She opens the oven door and I see a fire burning inside of it.

             
“It’s not supposed to be on fire,” Marlon says with an observant look. “But I could use the flames to burn my files instead of shredding them. The shredder is too noisy.” He turns to leave.

             
“Marlon get back here!” I say grabbing a hold of him. “Help your daughters!”

             
“I could sing for them,” Nicky says as he walks into the kitchen. “That could help.” He starts singing “Silly” by Deneice Williams.

             
“Is everyone crazy?” I ask as I look around.

“Come on.”

Did Jacob just say that? I turn to my left and see Jacob standing there, a motorcycle helmet under his arm.

“Where did you come from?” I didn’t even hear him sneak up beside me. He points to the stove and into the fire. “You came out of the stove? I didn’t see you come out of the flames.”

“Where else would I come from? Coal is used to start fires, Jasmine,” he says as he points to a stack of gleaming hot coals in the stove. Nicky is now singing at the top of his lungs.

             
“Nicky, please!” I yell out.

“So
, come on,” Jacob says again.

             
“Where are we going?”

             
“For a ride.”

             
“Where to, Jacob?”

             
“Does it matter?”

             
“It does. I have a family now. I need to know where I’m going and when I’ll be back. I need to know that I’ll be safe; my family depends on me to stay alive.”

             
“Well, I’m not sure where we’re going, Jasmine.”

             
“Well then I can’t go, Jacob.” What does he expect from me?

             
“Why?”

             
“I need to know where I’m
going
.”

             
“I can’t tell you that.”

             
“Why not?”

             
“Because I don’t know.”

             
“Then I’m not going with you, Jacob. At this point in your life you should know where you’re going and when you’ll be back.”

“Why?”

“Because of the children!” I start to hear the sound of my heart beating.
Thump. Thump
. “Can hear my heartbeat?” I ask him.

“I don’t understand what that means.” Disappointment fills my chest.

              “And you probably never will.” He looks at me in confusion. The sound of my heartbeat stops. We both stare at each other as the girls continue to fight over the pan, as Marlon continues to stand by me and watch them, as Danielle starts to gather ingredients for her scones, as Nicky starts to sing even louder.

“I hear it now
,” Jacob says as we lock eyes with each other.

             
“Huh?”

             
“I hear the heartbeats.”

I look at him like he’s crazy. The heartbeats have stopped.
“I don’t hear my heartbeats anymore.”

             
“You don’t?” he asks.

             
“You do?”

“I do.”

“No, you can’t.”

“I do.”

“I don’t hear my heartbeats anymore, Jacob.”

“I hear heartbeats, Jasmine
,” he says. And like a ghoul, Winnie climbs out of the oven and Jacob looks at her. “I do.”

“Let me help you
,” Winnie says to Danielle as she stands in front of the oven now, the flames sparking and popping around her legs. She doesn’t even flinch.

             
“Stir this,” Danielle says as she hands Winnie a bowl.

             
“I hear heartbeats,” Jacob says as he looks at Winnie.

             
“Jacob is here,” Winnie says without turning around, as if she doesn’t see us at all.

             
“Is he?” Danielle says.

“Yeah, I hear his heartbeats.” I strain my ear to listen. I don’t hear a thing.

“Malcolm is coming,” Danielle says as she turns around and looks towards the kitchen door.

“How do you know?” Winnie asks.

“I hear him.”

I look towards the door and watch Dustiny come in.

“Introducing Malcolm Blair!” he screams out before clapping wildly.

             
“Umm, thanks,” Malcolm says as he walks in.

             
“Uh-huh,” Dustiny says before he walks out.

             
“We should get going,” Malcolm says to all of us. “The play is about to start.”

             
“I’m gonna throw myself off a bridge,” Roman says as he walks into the kitchen. Wait, Pearl and Tiffany aren’t fighting over the pan anymore. I look around the kitchen and see that Tiffany’s now on the table, licking the frying pan, dancing around to “Silly”.

“Marlon! Will you help her?” I scream out.

              “I heard them,” Marlon says as he locks his eyes with mine.

             
“Heard what?” I ask as I turn to him.

             
“Your heartbeats,” he says. “I heard them.”

Jasmine

(
plays
.)

The sounds of children, like a Charlie Brown choir, can be heard from inside as
“Christmastime is Here” rings out around me.             

“Oh
, thank you for joining us!” Malcolm’s mother, Angie, says as she stands outside of my church, St. Michael’s Catholic Church, hugging senators, judges, the mayor of Boston, the governor and few a councilmembers. Jacob’s parents, the longtime Mayor and First Lady of Cambridge have just walked over, smiling as well. Jacob’s mother, Pamela, is giving royal waves for the cameras as she walks up to Angie and … oops! Oh no! Pamela accidently tripped over Angie’s foot. I hope the cameras didn’t catch that. Jacob’s dad and Malcolm’s dad hurry to help Pamela before she falls down the steps. “Careful, Pammy!” Angie says in horror, one hand on her chest. “Have you already had your mimosa this morning?” She laughs while others around her join in before smiling again for a flashing camera. Pamela looks like she’s trying to say something but Jacob’s dad is now hugging her, burying her face in his chest, rubbing her back. Oh, he looks so concerned. How sweet.

Angie Blair looks marvelous
, as usual. She’s dressed in a black mink with a matching hat, her diamond earrings
at least
three carats. Her husband Wynston has returned to her side, whispering something in her ear, looking kind of stern. Angie is casually ignoring him as she continues to wave. First Lady Eva Rossi and President Carlo Rossi are on Angie’s left; secret service is standing behind them. I could mention how everyone else looks sharp but why would I? Angie Blair is stealing the damn show. You’d think
she
was First Lady. Wynston has on his finest: a fedora graces his head, a cigar rests in his hand, a large smile fills his face now as he waves for the cameras.