For Love and Honor (8 page)

We love you, Raymond. We think of you every day, light church candles, say our prayers. We’re looking after Trina and your father and we want you to come home soon. Bernie sends his greetings. He’s not one for writing down sentiments but he wanted me to make sure you know that he cares for you and misses you a whole lot. He says his farm wasn’t ever as well-tended as it was when you were there in those spring and summer seasons you helped him out. He never found a grown man as dedicated, honest, and as hardworking as you were and you weren’t even old enough to drive. He calls you the hero of Pie Town.

When you get back home to Catron County, I’ll give you the recipe for the pecan pie and I’ll make you whatever dessert you like best. Trina said you like the lemon bars they serve in the army so I’ll start working on a special lemon pie recipe this week.

Hurry home.

Love,

Francine Mueller

Dear Raymond,

I send you all manner of blessings and prayers of healing with this letter. As the pastor of your home church here at Holy Family, I am writing to let you know that we lift you up in the merciful arms of God and keep you in our hearts and minds every day. I think the idea that Trina had of sending you a parcel of well-wishes is a good one and I am happy to include a handmade rosary from the Brothers at the Norbertine Hermitage Center in Albuquerque and a prayer book from the diocese office in Gallup. I have also included drawings from the children in the Sunday School class at Holy Family who are sending their prayers and greetings to you as well. I especially like Little Tillie Romero’s drawing of the church, a yellow ribbon wrapped around the entire building and a star overhead, bright and shining above it. She said it is the same star that brought the wise men to Bethlehem and if it was able to bring them to the baby Jesus, it is strong and bright enough to bring you home.

It’s been a few months since we talked about the Epiphany event and the arrival of the wise men to the stable where our Savior was born, but I guess she finds great comfort in the story and still remembers the long journey across the desert that the Magi made and is considering the deserts of Afghanistan that you have traveled across while making your return to Pie Town. She is also the one who created the bracelet made from wildflowers that is likely to wilt before completing its arrival. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her beautiful piece of jewelry, picked with great care from across the road from her house and braided together, would probably not withstand the time and rigors involved in shipping. When you find the small plastic bag with shriveled stems and petals, just know it comes with great thought and love from Tillie.

I understand that you don’t really know me and that you grew up under the care of Father Joseph here at Holy Family Church. He was a good man and a favorable and popular priest. At the time of his death, all of the members of the church attended his funeral held in Quemado six months ago. He was faithful until the very end and I know will be greeted in Heaven by the saints and angels celebrating his good service and his life of dedication. I know he would want me to send his love and care for you as well.

Of course, you have probably already heard the story of my arrival to Pie Town since I got here the very same day as Trina. In fact, as I’m sure she has told you, we drove into town together. She was quite a handful on that ride. Perhaps she mentioned to you that I was not a very experienced driver and I was unsure of where the parish was, what time I was anticipated, and what folks would be expecting in their new priest. With all these concerns, let me just say that I was not at all inclined to offer a ride to a young teenager from Texas who was arriving in Catron County with about as much information about Pie Town as I had. Even though I worked quite diligently to try and put a distance between Trina and me both in the minds of my parishioners and in any kind of relationship she thought we might have, I now recognize quite clearly my pride, arrogance, and lack of charity and count our friendship as one of my greatest gifts as a priest and as a human being. She has shown more strength of character and gentleness of spirit in the couple of years we have known each other than I could possibly ever demonstrate in a lifetime.

She is a wonderful mother even though she doubts her skills. She loves Alexandria and is very careful to attend to the little girl’s needs and desires. She is a loyal employee at the garage with your dad, knows more about an engine than I ever will; and she has become a faithful friend to many in our little town.

She tells me of your courtship, a relationship I understand that is built upon computer dates and letters and calls and emails. I asked her once how it was that she fell in love with a man she barely knew since I understood she only met you when Frank drove her back to Texas and she attended your boot camp graduation. I intended no malice with my query and although she chooses to tease me about my reasons for such a question, I think at the time she perceived it as innocent. She smiled with the question and explained that the relationship she had with you was the most honest one she had ever had. She claims there is no pretending between the two of you because of all of the difficult circumstances you both have faced. She said you helped talk her through the anxiety and worry she suffered during her pregnancy. She said you were kind and easy to talk to and that she felt you were sincere in your affections and concern.

She seems to think that because you met each other when you were both heading into new territories, journeying across unknown paths, that there is a bond connecting you and a permission to be completely yourselves. She was pregnant and a new resident in this fair village and you were fighting a war in a strange land. Although she understands the differences in what you have both faced, she said the unfamiliarity of the circumstances and the sense of suddenly being pushed into the world alone somehow connected you in a way that will last forever. I don’t claim to know much about romantic relationships but I do know that Trina is loyal and honest and a good judge of character. If she says your hearts are bound together for a lifetime, I believe it.

Your grandmother from Ramah comes to church quite often even though I know the trip is a long one for her, especially in the winter months when I know the roads are icy and difficult to traverse. And yet, she is faithful to the service of Holy Family and to the ways of the Catholic Church. She knows of our prayers for her grandson and enjoys the stories the parishioners love to tell about you while they reminisce of your boyhood times. I guess she didn’t see you all that often when you were growing up and these childhood memories seem to bring her great pleasure.

I try to minister to your father, Frank. He is a kind man and has been generous to me in the sharing of his knowledge and skills in working on the engine of my car as he never charges me for auto repairs. He has shared stories and information about your people, the Navajo, and has offered to take me out to wilderness sites that are sacred to your family and that he is sure I would find beautiful. Although I haven’t actually gone on any camping adventures with him yet, I look forward to opportunities to see the Malpais area and Fence Lake and the North Plains. I’ve heard that Frank Twinhorse is the best person to hike and track this county and I am happy that we will have that opportunity in these upcoming spring and summer months. Perhaps you will be home and well soon and can join us in these outings.

Please receive this letter and these included gifts from the church and me as signs of our love and prayers. Please also know that I am extending to you the gift of my friendship as your pastor and as a personal friend of Trina. I know it will take some time to get used to me and my ways as a priest, but I hope you will allow me the chance to minister to you when you return to New Mexico. I have heard so many lovely things about you, your commitment to hard work, your gentle ways with animals, your volunteer work in the community, and your service to the church and I look forward to the opportunity of getting to know you better.

Your choice to serve in the military is an honorable one and I thank you for your willingness to enlist and join the army while we have been at war. I hope you know your efforts, your choice, and your service is honored here at home and across the country. We pray for your healing and for your speedy return to Pie Town.

In God’s grace,

Father George Morris, Holy Family Church

Dear Beloved Raymond,

Roger and I are sitting at the kitchen table, late on a Thursday evening, sharing our concerns and love for you as we write this letter together. Roger has asked that I do all the writing because he has such poor penmanship. And if you remember all the notes he scribbled to you across the years, you will surely agree. He’s a great man, a wonderful sheriff; but he cannot write a lick. I often wonder how his deputies and secretary ever follow any of his written orders because you can’t tell whether he’s writing in Spanish or English and it wouldn’t matter anyway because I can read both languages, have lived with him for more than thirty years, and I still can’t decipher his words. (He just mumbled something in Spanish but it’s not worth translating it and adding it to this letter.)

First, just let me say that we love you and we are praying for you. I have placed your name on the prayer lists of every church in Catron County and even some in other places across the state. I also called Angel and told her about your injuries and she has promised to place your name in the prayer box at the church where she goes for weekly meetings. We ask God to heal all of your broken bones and wounds from the accident, to mend you back together and bring you home to us very soon.

Frank told me the details of your injuries and even though I haven’t worked as a trauma nurse, I do remember enough from my training to know it will be a long period of rehabilitation and recovery. I say this not as a means to depress you, as Roger is pointing out, but to let you know that if I can do anything to assist the therapists or doctors when you get back to Pie Town, I happily offer all of my services. I have many unused vacation and sick days and I’m sure that my supervisor from the nursing home would allow me to take a leave of absence if you need a private nurse. I will ask Frank to keep me posted on your recovery and if my care is needed, I will make myself available.

Roger says he is happy to drive you around when you get home as long as you don’t mind riding in the squad car. He remembers how much you used to enjoy sitting in the back seat, sirens blaring and lights flashing, and he’d be happy to oblige you those pleasures again. I just told him that you were a boy when you rode with him around the county and that I don’t think you’d be too keen on all that show and noise since you are now an adult. But now that I write that, I realize that the sirens and lights are still part of the reason Roger enjoys his job; so maybe that’s something boys just don’t grow out of!

Although she hasn’t come right out and asked us, both Roger and I get the feeling that since you may be coming home soon, Trina is thinking about moving from the garage apartment into Roger’s house. We’re not sure of what she is expecting regarding your living arrangements but we do know she would want you to be able to visit her. We are, of course, happy to make that possible. In the house, everything is all on one level, after all, and would be easily accessible if you are in a wheelchair and need those capabilities. Roger and I have talked about it and even without a wheelchair, we can’t see how you could maneuver those stairs to the apartment. If this is what she wants, we will support her in this move. It’s easy to see that she cares a great deal for you and we’re happy that the two of you found each other and have supported each other through war and birth. It took longer than it should have but Roger and I realize now how lucky we are to have each other and we both regret what was lost in our time apart. We both agree that there is nothing better than a good partner in life.

We’re still working full-time. His sheriff duties keep him very busy and even though he’s hired a couple of new deputies it seems he has to take care of something for the department every day. I asked him just now when the last time was that he took an entire day off and he can’t remember having one. We are hoping that in the spring and summer we’ll both take some vacation and go to Denver to visit Angel and have some nice time with her.

I guess you may be wondering how our daughter is faring in Colorado and we’re happy to report that we feel like she’s doing better now. After Alex died and she didn’t even show up for her own son’s funeral, we lost touch with her for almost a year. And then, out of the blue, she called and claimed she was in a good program, clean and sober, working at a coffee house, and living in a nice home with five or six other recovering addicts. We’ve seen her once or twice since that call. She came home for the holidays this year, just for a couple of days, and we met her in Santa Fe a few months ago when she caught a ride with a friend who was driving down. She’s still rail thin, but she doesn’t look so haggard any longer and even if I am her mother, I still say she’s beautiful like her grandmother and as smart as her father. All I really think that she inherited from me is her feisty temper and her way with horses. Roger just said, amen to that, by the way.

Of course, we both know it was you who taught her everything she knows about riding. I tried to show her all my tricks and ideas about horses but by the time she was six she had her own way of doing things and her own way of doing things did not include her mother. Roger and I often talk about how grateful we are to you and Frank, the way you took care of our Angel, the friendship the two of you shared as children. You really are more like brother and sister than me and Lawrence ever were and I know she misses you and I know she would want me to send her love.

Roger and I were just talking about the fact that she didn’t take much with her when she left after Alex was born. She didn’t want the furniture we bought her or any of the clothes she had made or bought with her own money. She left the gold crucifix necklace her grandfather gave her when she turned sixteen and the set of pearl earrings Roger and I bought for her when she gave birth to Alex. The jewelry her grandmother gave her, the rings and pins her boyfriends had bought her over the years, she left them all in the little jewelry box on her dresser. But the one thing I know she still has, the one thing she has never lost, left behind, given away, or put aside is that leather bracelet you made her when the two of you turned sixteen. I remember how much it meant to her when you gave it to her, how she explained to us where you found the silver charm, a bear, you bought from a silversmith at the Gathering of the Nations Pow-Wow in Albuquerque and the tiny piece of turquoise you found on one of your trips out in the Narrows, the one you polished and placed just beside the charm. As far as I know, she still wears it, the leather worn and the piece of turquoise, thin from so many years of wear and tear. Still, I like the thought that this is the piece of jewelry she keeps. I have found great comfort, especially in the years when we didn’t know where she was, didn’t know how she was, that she was wearing the bracelet that you made for her, a bracelet that promised protection from all harm. You are the best friend Angel has ever had. Your father was the best godfather a child could ever know; and I have always thanked God for having the two of you in our lives and in the life of our daughter.