Read Don't Fear the Reaper Online
Authors: Michelle Muto
Don't Fear the Reaper (30 page)
All eyes were on the minister. He looked at the teary-eyed, solemn crowd gathered before him. He cleared his throat and began. “Keely is with her sister now, and, from what I’m told, they’re telling secrets as sisters often do, and they’re holding hands as twins often do. Although we’re sorry to see Keely leave us, she is not alone. She has found comfort in the love of those on the other side, for love transcends death.”
More tiny birds flittered across the skyline before nestling into the branches of nearby trees. The melody of a few song sparrows filtered through the breeze and I remembered what Daniel said about angels and sparrows.
Jordan saw the sparrows, too. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked. “That’s all I want to know, Keely. I— I just want to know if you’ll be—”
“Okay,” I finished. It’s all I ever wanted to know about her from the moment she died. I hugged her. “I’ll be fine.”
The minister’s eulogy boomed across the cemetery, “Keely’s soul is her pilot now. It has led her to her new destination. She has heard another calling.”
A lone sparrow’s song echoed on the breeze. Gram appeared near a slant of light beaming between the trees close to where my parents stood. I smiled as she kissed them on the cheek and whispered into my mother’s ear. For a moment, both my parents looked up, as though looking for someone.
Jordan’s grip on my hand tightened. “It’s time for me to crossover.”
“Don’t be afraid,” I said.
Jordan turned and clung to me for a moment and I choked back a sob.
“Don’t you cry,” I said, clearly crying myself. “We’ll be fine. It’s just like going to different out-of-state colleges, remember?”
“Who’s going to Northwestern and who’s going to Ohio State?” she asked, her voice quivering.
“Dibs on purple and black, Buckeye,” I kidded, wiping away tears that clouded my vision.
“Yeah. You’ll see each other at
all
the rallies,” Daniel offered in his usual dead humor candor. “Ohio State? You do know they wear red, right Jo?”
“Red’s not all bad,” Jordan replied, giving him a gentle nudge.
Gram smiled as she approached, and drew me lovingly into her arms. “I love you, Keely. Don’t worry. We’ll see you soon.”
“I love you, too Gram,” I said.
“Jordan, it’s time,” Gram said softly. Jordan stepped closer to Gram. Gram hugged her, too, then turned to look at Banning.
“I’ll take care of her,” Banning promised.
Gram smiled warmly and nodded. “I know,” she said.
Jordan bit her lip. “Keep her out of trouble.” She took Gram’s hand and they walked toward silvery ribbons of light streaming in through the trees.
Ribbons. Pretty ribbons.
I almost called Jordan back. I wanted to tell her heaven could wait a little while longer. The ground fog swirled at their feet as the sparrows twittered softly.
Jordan smiled. Her eyes began to sparkle like newly fallen snow. “So...beautiful, Keely. The light. It’s...” her words failed her. How beautiful she was! It was all I needed to see. In my heart, I knew she’d be okay. But the knowledge didn’t stop my sorrow. I’d miss her so much.
Before she could read my thoughts, read my expression, I forced a smile. “Close your eyes, Jordan. Don’t look back. I’ll see you soon, okay? I’ll be fine. I promise.”
Soon, at least in the afterlife, was relative. I could see Jordan next week, or not until next year. I hoped we wouldn’t be separated any longer than that.
Tell me about heaven...
Jordan did as I’d asked, squeezing her eyelids together tightly. She bit her lip again—Jordan’s way of pushing me from her thoughts while trying not to cry. Slowly, her face, her body, her entire soul lit with an amazing brightness. Jordan waved as she and Gram began to sparkle and fade. The sparrows took to the skies.
And then, Jordan was gone.
As I stood there in the breeze, in the absence of my other self, I understood there were lessons I still needed to learn. I knew this with such force, such clarity. I had a lot to learn about the afterlife, and I had to accept that my past and present would never again be the same. But, the hardest lesson of all? That there would always be people in my world who I loved beyond everything else, people I couldn’t live without, but had to let go of.
For now.
“It’ll be okay, Keely,” Banning said, hoping to reassure me. He sighed. “Well, no, not really, will it? But it’ll be as okay as it gets.”
“Hell,” Daniel said.
We both stared at him.
“Well, of course it’ll be okay. She’s got us,” he clarified.
The minister flipped to another page. “Please join me in Psalm 23.” Everyone stood and bowed their heads.
I followed along with those who’d come to say their final goodbyes, except I changed the psalm ever so slightly.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For
they
are with me.”
Books are hard to write, and some more than others.
Don’t Fear the Reaper
was certainly that book for me. Loss is a difficult thing to express and everyone’s grief is different. While this book is dedicated to my sister, I also acknowledge that I couldn’t have done it without the memories of those I love dearly and yet, had to let go of—for now. I think about them everyday.
To my husband, who is my own personal Samson. Thanks for seeing me through the rough spots.
Thanks to my critique partners who read and reread this book: D.B. Reynolds, Leslie Tentler, and Steve McHugh. What would I ever do without you guys?
Thanks to Danielle (Danni) La Paglia, who always has faith in what I write.
Many thanks to my fellow writers over at Kelly Armstrong’s On-line Writing Group (the OWG) who read and critiqued the first few chapters of this book.
Special thanks also go to gifted book designer and fellow author Sam Torode. What can I say about the cover except - WOW! You’re truly amazing, Sam. Thank you once again.
Speaking of the cover, the original design,
Raven Soul
, is a work of art by the talented Claudia McKinney over at
PhatPuppy Art
.
And, as always, thank
you
, Dear Reader. Because ultimately, every author with a story to tell writes with you in mind.
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