Diva (Jit'Suku Chronicles) (8 page)

John was floored at Maggie’s mention of the super-secret spy who had helped him and his men before. If Dalen knew enough to get a message to him through Diva, then the spy was even better than John had credited.

“Did you access it?” He tried to keep his tone gentle as he took the small disc from her hand.

She shook her head, blushing a bit. “I wanted to, but it wouldn’t open for me.”

John pulled her into his arms and hugged her. “I’m glad you didn’t see whatever’s on this disc, Maggie. Dalen runs in circles it’s best you stay clear of. In fact, it’s in your best interest to forget that name, and the existence of this disc. He took a risk using you to get to me, and I don’t like it. I don’t want you caught in the middle of this mess, whatever it is.”

“I’ve had time to think about it, John, and it must have something to do with what I saw on the Andrakian station. I questioned my crew and checked the records. That disc had to have been placed physically on board my ship—in my quarters—by hand. That means this Dalen, or someone close to him, was on board the station.”

John set her back and held her shoulders, catching and holding her gaze to impress upon her the seriousness of his words.

“You’re probably right, but honey, you’ve got to forget you ever saw this disc or ever heard the name Dalen. Promise me.”

“But I could help—”

He squeezed her shoulders. “Promise me. It’s too dangerous, and I couldn’t bear thinking about you being in danger. Please, Maggie. Do this for me.”

She gave in with grace, though he could tell she wanted to argue.

“All right, John. For you.”

His lips captured hers in a sweet salute that quickly turned to passion.

But he put her away all too soon, as she’d thought he would. Their time together was at an end. She could see it in his eyes.

“Honey, I know I said I had a week’s worth of R&R, but this…” He held up the disc with a troubled expression.

She covered his hand with hers. “I know. I thought this might happen, which is why I selfishly didn’t tell you right away, but I couldn’t, in good conscience, wait any longer. I’m sorry, John. For both of us. But I understand your duty. I understand why you have to go.”

He crushed her to him for a long, emotional hug that said more than words could express. When he let her go, they both seemed to have a little extra sparkle of tears in their eyes.

“You mean the universe to me, Maggie,” he said in that low, rumbly voice that she loved.

“Right back at’cha, Captain.” She tried with fierce determination to hold herself together. She wouldn’t fall apart in front of him. Not now. Not after the joy and pleasure they’d shared.

Her dreams had come true last night, but reality was biting them both in the ass today. As she’d thought it would. Duty called to both of them.

“Thank you for passing on this information, and I’ll be selfish and thank you also for waiting until now to do it.” He laughed and leaned down to kiss her lips, smiling. When he lifted his head again, his gaze was soft and sad. “But you know what this means. You’re a smart lady.”

“I’m guessing it means you’ll probably have to go put down an Andrakian rebellion, and I’m the one who sent you into the thick of it.” She let just a bit of her discomfort show.

“Don’t think of it like that,” he told her, hugging her close, swaying a bit from side to side. “No matter what happens, this is my job. Whether you were the conduit for the information or it came to us through more regular channels, once command hears of this, my unit will undoubtedly be sent in. It’s what we do. So it’s not your fault in any way. Remember that, Maggie. This is who I am. It’s what I do.”

She placed her hand over his heart, feeling the strong beat of it. “I know. It’s what makes you so darn attractive to me. You’re a strong man who protects others. That’s really sexy.”

She would leave him with happy memories of their last moments together, she decided. She’d tease him and remind him of the magnificent hours just past. She wouldn’t let him see her cry. There was time enough for tears when she was alone again and he was out there…fighting a war she had sent him into the middle of, no matter what he might say.

His strong hands tightened on her waist as he smiled. “Honey, you’re the sexy one in this relationship.” His gaze held hers as he seemed to realize what he’d just implied. “That is…if this is something you want to continue.”

“Are you out of your mind? Of course, I do. Whenever. Wherever. I know we’ve both got obligations, but I want you in my life, John. I hope you want the same.”

“Are you kidding?” His smile was back, and it held the force of the sun, the mystery of the moon. “I thought I showed you last night how much I want to be with you.”

“Oh, you did, Captain. You certainly did,” she agreed, reaching up to place soft kisses along his strong jaw. She was going to miss him so much. Maybe she could keep him here a little longer. “If you need a secure com station,” she whispered, “mine is top notch.”

But John pulled back, his expression turning serious again as he was reminded of his duty. Dammit. She hadn’t meant to do that, but she knew it couldn’t be helped. She was going to be late already, and he…well…she knew he had a job to do. She understood it. Hell, she even admired it.

“No, Maggie. You’ve been involved in this too much already. I’ll use military channels from here on out. Hopefully, nothing will trace back to you in any way. I’m not putting you in more danger.” He kissed her one more time, sweetly, and then stepped back, letting her go. “I hate it, but I have to go.”

She glanced at the chronometer on the wall. “So do I.” She hated to have to say it. “I’m already late.”

“You go first. I’ll sneak out a few minutes later. Just in case the hotel’s security isn’t as good as you’re paying them to be.” He gave her a lopsided smile that threatened to loose the tears straining behind her eyes.

She retrieved her bag reluctantly, then he walked her toward the door.

“I don’t want to leave,” she admitted in a small voice.

He put his arm around her shoulders, tugging her close again. “It means a lot to me to hear you say that, Maggie mine.”

She turned, clinging to him desperately for another long moment while they stood together, in front of the doorway that would separate them again…maybe forever. Fate could be cruel, she decided in that moment. To allow her to find such a man, only to rip them apart time after time.

He kissed her cheeks, softly, with a tenderness she’d known only from him. He was such an amazing man, in so many ways. But she couldn’t stay in this idyllic bubble forever. The galaxy was still out there, in trouble, and they both had their separate duties to perform.

Finding strength she didn’t know she had, she gradually pulled away from his embrace. He let her go, his eyes holding the same sadness that she felt in her heart.

She wanted to say so many things, but words were inadequate for the depth of emotion she felt. She placed her palm on his cheek, holding his gaze for one last moment before she turned and fled out the door, unable to look back.

If she had, he’d have seen the tears falling uncontrollably down her face. She didn’t want to leave him with that image, so instead, she ran down the corridor and straight into the waiting lift. Within seconds, she was out of his sight.

And in the privacy of the lift, she cried. Though, by the time she reached her destination, she’d gradually pushed Maggie’s heartbreak to the background and donned her Diva mask. It was time to go to work.

It was only much later that night, after a concert and the ensuing meet and greet period, that she returned to her hotel room. The love nest of the night before had been cleaned by the bots and returned to its ubiquitous state of impersonal cleanliness. No trace of John remained, except for the note she found on the desk, written on the old-fashioned hotel stationary supplied in the drawer of the desk.

In a bold hand, the name Maggie was written across the front of the sealed envelope. Holding her breath, she opened it and unfolded the paper, handwriting in the same masculine scrawl covering the page in a single message.

It read simply,
“I love you, Maggie mine. Until we meet again, John.”

Chapter Six

The Andrakian rebellion took months to quell. Diva watched the news reports like everyone else, knowing that John was in the center of the storm. She worried intensely about him, but she couldn’t let it show. She had to maintain the Diva aloofness at all costs.

She stuck to her grueling tour schedule, though they changed up the itinerary to give a wide berth to the Andrakian sector of the Milky Way. The Diva show stayed firmly on the other side of the galaxy from the conflict, though she did insist on occasional forays closer so she could play benefit concerts for men coming out of the hot zone.

All the while, she held that simple note, written on paper, close to her heart. John had said he’d loved her. He’d written it down, so she knew it was true. Of all the things he could’ve written, he’d wanted her to have those words to take with her into their uncertain future.

She loved him too, but she hadn’t had the nerve to tell him when they’d been together. She wished every day that she’d been able to give him that same gift.

She could only hope that fate gave her a chance to tell him…someday. If they were ever in the same place, at the same time, again. It was too precious a message to record on a holo or send via courier. No, this had to be said in person. She wanted to see his eyes when she told him and bask in the knowledge that her feelings were returned.

She kept sending messages to him, but his replies were few and far between. He was in a war zone and in danger every day. She still had to be careful about how she sent her messages and what they said, lest they be intercepted, but she wouldn’t stop sending them. He’d told her how much they meant to him, and she was determined to keep the lines of communication open, even if it was mostly one-sided these days.

On those rare occasions when he was able to get a message out to her, he was sure to tell her how much he enjoyed hearing her voice and her music. He never said the L word, but she understood he was being as careful as she was about what he said on a recording that could easily go astray.

It had been weeks since his last message, but she held out hope that any day now, she’d be hearing from him…

*

John saw it coming. He knew the moment of inattention that had probably cost him his life. Everything slowed. It might have been a cliché, but in that moment of certainty that he’d royally screwed the pooch, he saw everything in sharp detail.

The decoy round. The distraction. The real attack…and the result.

He lay in a pool of his own blood, feeling his strength drain away as the firefight raged around him. His men had formed a loose ring around his position and were killing everything in sight.

Good men.

He figured he was going to die, but it would be a good death, surrounded by his brothers. His only regret was Maggie.

At some point in time later—how much later, he would never know—he was roused by pain as someone did something to his injuries. First aid, his tired mind told him.

He opened his eyes and saw Pete applying pressure bandages and tourniquets to his legs. John couldn’t see the damage. He was flat on his back. But he saw the men gathered around. Jase was at his side, so John reached out to his best friend.

“Jase,” John used the last of his strength to grab his XO by the shirt. “If I don’t make it—”

“Don’t talk like that, Captain. You’ll be good as new as soon as the medics get through with you.”

John shook his head, fading fast.

“If I don’t make it, tell Maggie I love her.”

The medics came then, and took John off, leaving a stunned unit behind. But they didn’t remain behind for long. The men of Unit G-18 haunted the hospital wing until their captain was out of surgery and for days after.

“Who’s Maggie?” PeeWee asked after the docs broke the bad news that John was in a coma.

Silence met the question, but Jase stepped forward, speaking low. “Diva. I heard John call her Maggie when she jumped into his arms after that concert. That must be her real name.”

“We need to tell her what’s happened.” Pete suggested. They all knew about the discs that arrived by special courier for John every few weeks and the return letters he sent back, though they no longer teased him about it. They all had some sympathy for a love that could never be.

“He needs her, Jase. We’ve got to try to call her.”

The XO looked from their unconscious leader to the men and back again.

“He’ll kill us when he wakes up,” Jase observed.

“If he wakes up, I’ll gladly let him take his best shot,” PeeWee said staunchly.

Jase nodded. “You’re right. I’ll make the call. I just hope, for his sake, we can get through.”

Diva mysteriously took ill a day later and had to cancel several concerts. A day after that, a bedraggled little woman with a highly-ranked military escort arrived quietly at Sector HQ and headed straight for the hospital wing.

When she entered the critical care unit where John was being kept, Jase saw her first. This woman looked quite different from the glamorous Diva he’d met that night after her concert. For one thing, her eyes were clouded with sorrow and worry as she made a beeline for the bed, all but ignoring the men who sat vigil by their commander's side in the small room.

“John,” she whispered, stroking his face and kissing his brow. “Oh, God, John.” Tears fell from her eyes as Jase motioned quietly for the men to vacate the area. He stayed behind only long enough to be certain Diva would be all right, then left, stationing himself outside the door to assure the two left within the small room of privacy.

Maggie was devastated to see big, strong John Starbridge so pale and nearly lifeless on the hospital bed. She stroked his face and kissed his pale features, praying all the while that he would wake up and smile that roguish smile at her.