Dating Impossible (7 page)

If she spoke those words, Angie would win and JJ would look
like a jealous lover instead of the other way around. The last time she stuck
up for herself, things got really ugly in
Beverly
Hills
and she’d worked at that hospital a long time. JJ
had found herself in front of the Medical Review Board for the state of
California
. Hell if she
was going to go through that shit again. She was the new kid on the block and
needed to be smarter this time.

Then you
shouldn’t have slept with your co-worker.
She squashed that line
of thought immediately.
What was done was
done. Que sera, sera
as her dad would say.

 
“I think that is for
you to discern,” she said slowly, choosing her words carefully. “You know the
inner workings of this place better than I do. Do charts and orders usually get
misplaced?”

His handsome features turned into a frown. “No,” he admitted.
“Not usually.”

“All I know is this. I examined Mrs. Hayden, found her to
have an acute abdomen, wrote orders for stat labs, and a CT scan. I told Angie
what orders I’d written. Left the chart with
Alice
. Checked the board for my next patient.
Angie confirmed I was needed for the combative drunk in exam room two and I
left the desk to take care of Ralph Hankle,” JJ said with a patience she didn’t
feel.

Just reiterating the facts pissed her off all over again. She
placed her hands on her hips. “When I went to check on Mrs. Hayden, that
jackass surgeon was there at the desk yelling at Angie and throwing his weight
around.”

Cruz smiled and JJ’s heart hiccupped against her chest.

Oh my God. Don’t
do that!
His
smile had been lethal in high school and was just as deadly now.

“That sounds like him,” he agreed. “Well, we should file an
incident report about the chart missing and the stat CT not being done just to
cover all the bases. That way the matter will be properly investigated. If I
get the director’s job, there are certainly a lot of things around here that
could be approved upon. And how we process our orders is definitely one of
them.”

Oh, shit!
JJ mentally
slapped her forehead. If Cruz became the new Director of Emergency Services, he
would be her boss. Another really good reason she needed to keep her hands to
herself.

“Err…well, good luck with that,” JJ said lamely and turned
to leave.

“Hey,” Cruz said softly, placing a halting hand on her
shoulder. “Don’t go.”

He must’ve closed the space between them because the words
were spoken near her ear and his warm breath rustled her hair. JJ’s legs turned
to a giant slush pile. She locked her knees together. All she had to do was
lean back into his solid chest and she’d be in his arms. JJ sighed. There never
could be a relationship between them.

Time to lay a
few ground rules…

She turned and faced him. The tenderness and need in his
deep gray eyes as he stared at her threw all her well intentioned words right
out the window. JJ shook her head. “Cruz…”

“JJ…” he mimicked, smiling.

He rested his forehead against hers and her schoolgirl
butterflies stirred deep within. Why, oh why couldn’t he have noticed her years
ago? Before med school. Before the disaster happened at her last job? The
reality of her tenuous situation weighed heavily upon her. She was absolutely
screwed.

Reining in all her willpower, JJ stepped back and out of his
reach, exhaling slowly. “Last night was an aberrance.”

An aberrance.
Was
that the best she could do?
Was she
fucking kidding herself right now? It was the best night of her entire life.

Cruz gazed at her thoughtfully and nodded. “Yes,” he agreed.
“I can see where you would make that assumption given our history. We’ve known
each other for years and haven’t ever thought of each other as being in any
kind of relationship.”

JJ’s heart plummeted.
Maybe
you haven’t, but I sure as hell have.
“Cruz. There is no relationship. It
was just sex.” JJ forced the words out past the anguish building within her
like a tornado before she chickened out. “We work together. Colleagues. That’s
it.”

Hurt flared across his face. “Come on. We’re more than that,
JJ.”

A determination she recognized instantly gleamed in his
smoky gray eyes. He stepped closer and she backed up. The edge of his desk
brushed the back of her ass. She held up her palms outward. The wall of his
broad chest met her hands, heat radiated under her fingertips and she
remembered how good he’d felt when she’d crushed her breasts against him last
night. But she would not be screwed out of a job, leaving her medical license
in jeopardy, ever again.

“I’m completely serious about this,” JJ said. Her
determination matched his own. Dropping her hands, she squeezed around him. “We
don’t have a relationship, Cruz,” she said, facing him from safely across the
room. She placed her hand on the door knob. “Maybe a long time ago we knew each
other. That doesn’t exactly make us friends. And I don’t date people I work
with. Period. End of discussion. Forget last night happened.” She opened the
door and stepped into the bustling hallway of the ER.

Because I
wish to God I could.

Chapter Eight

JJ poured herself a glass of her favorite merlot and grabbed
the true crime novel she’d been reading.
Distraction
.
And booze. The look of hurt on Cruz’s face earlier during their encounter in
his office today had imprinted itself on her brain. All she wanted to do was
forget his expression and, most of all, that she’d been the cause of it. Coward
that she was, she’d avoided him after that. That was easy enough to do, since
they’d seen a record number of patients come through PGH’s emergency room doors
today.

She knew she’d hurt his feelings. But damn it, why should
she care about his feelings? He’d been careless about her feelings in the past.
Not that he’d known she had a crush on him back then. So was it really his
fault? Her harsh words echoed against her skull.

“We don’t
have a relationship…That doesn’t exactly make us friends.”

She cringed. What a bitch. She’d be surprised if he ever
talked to her again.

 
You still care for him, even after all these
years.

“Yeah, I still care,” she said to her empty kitchen. Talking
to herself was a habit others found odd, but she never bothered to try and
break. After all, she considered herself the best listener.

“And, now he wants…” JJ frowned. “What the fuck does Cruz
want? It’s not exactly his #
DrAvery
MO.
He sleeps around. He doesn’t
have relationships.”

Glass of wine and book in hand, she headed outside to sit on
her patio while there was still light to read by. She plopped down in one of
her cozy loungers near the pool. If only their world was different and she was
free to explore this tentative…uh,
relationship
wasn’t exactly the word…
connection? Bond?
Rapport?
Bitter laughter escaped her.

But things weren’t different. The ugliness of her past hung
over her like the dark, oppressive cloud of shame. She kept telling herself
what had happened in
Beverly Hills
hadn’t been her fault. But after replaying the events over and over again in
her mind over the summer, there wasn’t anyone left to blame but herself. No one
had forced her to become involved with fellow emergency room doctor Mark Jacobs.
He’d been sexy, charismatic, and a fun companion.

At least at
first.
Then
things shifted and JJ could see how he manipulated those around him to get what
he wanted, including her. There was a nasty side to Mark that she didn’t want
any part of and she broke off the relationship after only a couple of months. Trouble
was, Mark didn’t take kindly to being dumped and he began to make JJ’s life a
living hell every day at work. On her days off, he would show up where she was
and inevitably make a scene. He’d become a bit physical, grabbing her arms and
leaving bruises. He’d even gone so far as to slap her once.
Once.
His brutal and stalking behavior
creeped her out and scared the shit out of her.

Finally, JJ had to file a restraining order against him and
she was able to change her work schedule to work on days he wasn’t at the
hospital. Then there had been an anonymous tip to the California State Medical
Board complaining about narcotics missing from the ER’s Pyxis medication management
system and JJ was responsible. Accused, she had to defend herself before the
board. The ensuing investigation, random drug screens she had to perform over
and over, the distrust she saw in other’s gazes…JJ shuddered at the memories, as
humiliation washed over her all over again. Worse was the betrayal when she’d
found out Mark had been the one to file the complaint. That old saying came to
mind.

Fool me once,
shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

“Doesn’t matter cuz I’m not getting my ass into trouble
again.”

JJ sipped her wine and let the warmth curl deliciously in
her belly. No more dreary thoughts. She knew her new dating rules. As long as
she kept away from Cruz, she’d be fine.

She glanced at the beautiful desert skyline as the sun made
its downward climb and relaxed the tension building up along her neck and
shoulders. So many shades of blue, pink, orange and red. A perfect blend of
colors. She sighed. The sunsets were her favorite time of the evening. Her
schedule was perfect because she was always home to enjoy this. Setting her
glass of wine down on the little glass table near her lounger, she opened her
book to where her engraved silver bookmark had been placed. There was nothing like
getting oneself lost in someone else’s problems.

The sound of a distant chime reached her.
Her doorbell?
JJ frowned as it rang
again and again, becoming more insistent. She leaned forward on her lounger and
listened intently.
It was her doorbell.
Maybe
it was Ambra. Her friend had seemed a bit troubled lately. Since JJ had left
her cell phone in her purse on the couch of her living room, if Ambra had
texted or called she was coming over, then JJ had missed it. Maybe Ambra was
ready to talk and finally spill what was bothering her.

Worried, JJ rushed to the front door. Book still in one
hand, she unlocked and opened the door with the other. “Where’s the fire? Jeeze!”
she said.

“No, fire. But this pizza is gonna be cold,” Cruz said. “You
took so long answering the damn door I thought you were ignoring me on purpose.”
He shook a bottle of red wine he held in his other hand. A slow sexy smile
spread across his face. “Peace?”

JJ’s jaw dropped. Was that a bottle of
Château Lafite Rothschild Pauillac 1996
? It was almost three
hundred dollars a bottle depending on if and where one could find it. Once
dubbed “The King’s Wine” after a French politician gave some to King Louis XV,
it became a court favorite. She shook her head, amazed.

JJ glanced at Cruz. He was dressed casually in flip-flops,
khaki cargo shorts and a short sleeved blue-and-white-striped Armani polo shirt.
His jet black hair was damp from a recent shower, and his spicy aftershave
mingled with the mouthwatering smell of the pizza. His gaze swept her from head
to toe with a deep intensity. Suddenly, she wished she had more on then her
cutoff blue jean shorts and scanty spaghetti-strap white tank top. Her stomach
grumbled even as she dug her bare toes into the carpet, speechless.

“Well, your stomach wants to let me in,” Cruz joked. Uncertainty
clouded his gray eyes. “Maybe I should’ve called…”

Heat flamed JJ’s cheeks. “No,” JJ began, hesitant. “Ah, yes,
actually. You should have, Cruz,” she said, finding her wits at last.

His jaw tightened. “You don’t want to date me because we
work together. I get it,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t share a
pizza and a glass of wine. Talk about our busy day. Does it?”

JJ’s shoulders relaxed a fraction. He was right. She didn’t
have to be a complete hard-ass. Stepping back, she opened the door wider,
allowing him entry, and smiled. “Did you know that Lafite was prescribed that
particular wine as a tonic?”

“That was random.” Cruz laughed as he swept passed her.

The deep rumble sent little quivers along her spine. Suddenly,
letting him inside seemed the worst of ideas.

“Still full of all kinds of trivia, I see. I remember when
you used to spout all kinds of interesting stuff. You made me and Jett look
completely stupid most of the time,” he said.

Her foyer opened to the high vaulted ceilings of the living
room and a large, open kitchen with maple cabinets. Cruz placed the pizza box
and wine on the granite countertop of the center island. He picked up the
merlot she’d just opened which still sat uncorked on the counter along with a Triscuit
box. “Looks like we both had the same idea.” A wicked grin lit up his handsome
face. “Except Rosati’s deep dish meat combo beats your box of crackers.”