Damaged and the Beast (25 page)

“Are you okay?” he whispered as music played loudly just outside the door.

“Yes.”

“You drank too much,” he said, caressing my stomach and breasts before settling his hand flat over my belly button. “You look ready to pass out.”

“I feel fine,” I lied as my head swam. “You’re so beautiful.”

Cooper gave me a half smile and kissed my face. Then, he was kissing my lips and I worried we would have sex again. I wasn’t ready and the room wouldn’t stay in one place. I also felt like my head had been kicked in. Lying very still, I tried to make the room stop spinning. Cooper watched me as his fingers explored softly.

Loud voices startled me and Cooper sighed. “I don’t even know whose room this is?”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, closing my eyes. “I feel weird.”

“Yeah, I know,” Cooper said as he moved around on the bed. Waiting for more sex, I flinched when he touched me. “I have your panties.” Opening my eyes, I saw he was dressed and helping me put on my clothes. “Do you think you’ll be sick?”

“No, I just feel like the room is spinning.”

“Yeah, it’ll do that with enough booze. What did you drink?”

“Tequila and beer. I think the tequila did it.”

“Mixing alcohol isn’t a nerd move, Farah,” he teased, helping me put on my shirt even though I was missing my bra. “If you need to puke, let me know and I’ll hold your hair back.”

Laughing, I almost fell over, but Cooper scooped me up into his arms and picked up my sandals. As he carried me out of the room and down the hall, I nuzzled my face against his neck. While certain he would drop me, I soon rested inside a truck.

“Whose car is this?” I asked, confused and worried he might hand me off to the next guy.

“I’m borrowing it since I’m fairly sure you’d fall off the bike. Rest and I’ll get you home.”

“I’m sorry I ruined your fun,” I babbled, leaning over against him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Do you?”

Even in the dark, I could see he was unhappy. Yet, Cooper gave me a little smile. “Just rest, baby.”

“Don’t dump me,” I begged, clawing at his shirt. “I can do better. I won’t cry and I’ll be really good. I promise. Please, don’t dump me.”

Frowning darkly, Cooper glanced at me and I thought he wanted to dump me right there.

“Don’t cry. It kills me when you cry,” he whispered, giving a deep sigh.

I opened my mouth to say something really profound that would keep him interested in me. The next thing I knew, I woke up alone in my bed. The room was dark and I felt too weak to get up. Falling back to sleep, I wondered if Cooper would remember my name in the morning.

Waking up to a sick stomach and dull headache, I figured it could be worse. My hand touched between my legs and found the area slightly tender. Closing my eyes, I fell asleep for a short time before knocking at my window got me up. Cooper stood outside with a cup in each hand. Hurrying around to the front room, I opened the door and inhaled the wonderful smell of coffee.

“How are you feeling?” he asked with a sweetly concerned look on his beautiful face.

“Okay,” I said, taking the cup of coffee.

“Did you get sick last night?”

“No, I just crashed and woke up feeling kinda crappy.”

Sitting on the couch, Cooper frowned. “You’re not pissed at me, are you?”

“Why would I be?”

“You were drunk and we… You do know what we did, right?”

“I wanted to. I told you that.”

“Yeah, but I thought you might wake up and figure it was a mistake and I’m an ass.”

“I’m not mad at you. I am a little shocked you remember my name, but otherwise we’re good.”

Sighing, Cooper leaned back and draped his arm across the back of the couch. “I keep saying you’re special and not like the other girls and you keep waiting for me to forget your name.”

“I was teasing you.”

“No, you weren’t.”

Easing into a chair, I sipped the coffee. “I’m sorry.”

“Come to my house today.”

Lifting my gaze to his face, I saw Cooper waiting for me to say no.

“I’m not feeling that great.”

“I know and sitting in this tiny apartment won’t make you feel better. When my mom gets hung over, she likes to sit in the sun. We’ve got the hot tub too. It’s relaxing.”

“That sounds nice,” I said, standing up. “I’ll get dressed.”

“Don’t worry about a swimsuit. You can borrow one of Bailey’s again.”

I started for my room then stopped next to the couch. “I’m sorry I cried last night. I know that’s lame.”

Cooper glanced at me and his gaze darkened. “We both know why you were crying and you should never apologize for that.”

Nodding, I left to get dressed in shorts and a loose lavender shirt. Returning to the living room, I found Cooper looking out of the window.

“How did you get the coffees here?” I asked, making stupid chitchat.

“Brought my truck. Figured you might not feel up to riding the bike.”

“Thanks.”

As soon as I had my backpack on, Cooper reached for my hand. We walked quietly through the hot morning to his truck and I slid inside. Cooper joined me and reached for the air conditioning. I touched his hand while setting my coffee in the cup holder.

“Can we have the windows open? The fresh air will probably help.”

Cooper nodded. “Sure, baby. Just rest.”

The smell of late summer had an intoxicating effect on me and I dozed off. When the truck stopped, I figured we were at the Johansson place. Instead, I turned my head to find us parked on the side of the road and Cooper staring out the front window with an angry frown. I was just about to ask if he was okay when he pounded on the steering wheel. As the truck shook, I squirmed closer to the door, ready to run.

Cooper stopped pounding and stared out of the window again. “Last night was a mistake,” he said in a rough voice.

“Why?”

“I keep saying you’re special, but last night wasn’t special. You were drunk and we were on some guy’s bed and I should have stopped.”

“I had to be drunk or else I’d have been too nervous, but I wanted to be with you.”

Cooper glanced at me and I felt uneasy under his gaze. “You have this effect on my heart. When I think I’m losing you, my chest hurts like I’ll die. It makes me crazy and I thought I’d lost you because of last night. Then, you were all cool with it, but you should be angry. Last night was shit. You were drunk and scared and I don’t think you liked any of it. I should have stopped myself, but I felt weak and I wanted you so bad that I fucked up.”

“Cooper, if you really think I’m special and want to be with me, we’ll have other chances. The first time was probably going to be weird anyway, just because I’m weird about sex.”

Glancing at me, he frowned. “Why did you tell me you weren’t a virgin?”

“I’m not.”

Cooper eyed me angrily. “How many guys have you said yes to?”

Shrugging, I looked out the window. “Who cares?”

“If some guy fucked my sister like I fucked you, I’d kick his ass. And if the asshole told me he loved my sister, I’d tell him he was full of shit. Last night, there was a moment when I knew you weren’t ready and it was your first time and I thought to stop. I didn’t though.”

Cooper said a lot of important things, but like any girl I focused on the word we all wanted to hear from a guy. Instead of responding to the magical word though, I focused on calming his self-directed anger.

“If you had stopped, I probably would have cried anyway. I would have felt embarrassed and might not have given you another chance.”

“Don’t bullshit me. You had to get drunk to sleep with me. You actually fucking said those words and I just thought about how much I wanted you and it would all be fine.”

“It is fine.”

Sighing, Cooper started the truck. “You know what I said.”

Realizing he was talking about his feelings for me, I nodded. “Things inside me are all jumbled up.”

“I’m not asking you to say it back. I’m asking you to let me give you a better time. I don’t want last night to be your first time.”

“It wasn’t.”

Cooper smashed his fists on the steering wheel and exhaled angrily. “What happened before doesn’t count! You fucking know that, right? It didn’t count. You were a virgin last night and I fucked up.”

“Okay!” I yelled, shaking from his rage. “You fucked up! Let it go and drive me to your house or take me home. Just stop scaring the shit out of me.”

Glaring at me, Cooper didn’t put the car into drive. “Why are you with me?”

“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging as I looked out the window. “I just like being with you. I like the way I feel when I’m with you.”

“Even now?”

“Yeah, even now,” I told him, finally meeting his gaze. “If you want to make things up to me, why are you yelling and acting scary? How does that make it better?”

“It doesn’t, but you have to understand something,” he said, holding my gaze. “I’m fucking perfect.”

Despite my common sense, I laughed at the sincerity behind his words. Cooper gave me a tiny grin.

“I don’t fuck up. I don’t do stupid shit. I’m the smart one in my family. Tucker fucks up. Bailey acts emotionally. I don’t do that. It’s why I have to be the lawyer. Why my pop wants me to take over for him when he’s ready to sit on his ass and pretend he’s retired. I’m the perfect one, but there was nothing perfect about last night. I just wanted you and I lied about the rest. I knew I’d fallen hard for you and I figured that meant I could keep going and it would be fine. The perfect part of me knew I had it backwards. You were special and I needed to stop. I hate that I let myself be so stupid. I don’t want to be Tucker.”

“Who would?” I said, grinning.

Cooper laughed. “I know, right?”

Even with the urge to take my chances walking home rather than remain tied to this complicated man, I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned over to kiss him.

“You make me stupid too, Coop,” I said, grazing his lips with mine. “You make me crazy and scared, but I like you so much that it feels worth it. I wish I knew if my feelings were love. I wish I could make a declaration, but I’m not used to having nice things. No matter how much you scare me, you are a very nice thing and I never dreamed I’d have a shot at keeping you interested. I’m glad I was wrong.”

Cooper pulled me closer and kissed me hard and deep. I realized he hadn’t given me a real kiss since arriving that morning. I also realized he truly believed I would dump him and it was making him miserable. As horrible as it was, this fact made me happy. Cooper possessed so much power over me that it was a relief knowing I had power too.

“How do I make it up to you?” he asked, holding me on his lap.

“Is that a sex question?” I asked, kissing his neck.

“It could be. Baby, I need to do something special for you because last night wasn’t special.”

“There’s one thing I want, but it’s not sex and I don’t think you’ll want to do it.”

“It’s not lame, is it?”

Lifting my head from the crook of his neck, I frowned at him. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me. Even if I’ll hate doing it, I want to prove I’m not Tucker.”

“You’re not Tucker.”

“Tell me,” he said, leaning his forehead against mine. “Pretty please.”

Laughing, I sighed. “The first night you came to my apartment, you did something that felt really good.”

Cooper scowled as he replayed that evening. “I don’t remember making any especially hot moves on you.”

“I said it wasn’t sex.”

“Well, we didn’t have sex that night so I knew it wasn’t sex.”

“You won’t want to do it. Forget it. A nice day at your house will be my reward for you not being perfect.”

“Nope,” he said, holding me still on his lap. “Tell me.”

“I want a foot massage.”

“Bull.”

“No, really.”

Cooper grinned. “Why wouldn’t I want to massage you? I want you to feel good like you make me feel.”

“My feet are killing me from working and walking so much and you have talented fingers.”

“Hell yeah, I do,” he said, kissing me as his fingers explored my waist.

Cooper’s naughty fingers merely teased as I squirmed in his lap, causing him to groan.

“Let’s get to the house so you can soak up the sun and relax.”

Sliding back into my seat, I grinned while he shifted the truck into drive. As I watched him, Cooper glanced my way and smiled like he had plans for me. When I saw the wicked gleam in his eyes, I never in my life wished more to be someone else. Someone who could see that look and meet it with vigor.

Cooper parked next to his apartment. “It’s parents’ weekend as you likely know. Skye’s parents are in town and they’ll be with my parents for the day. Tucker is with Maddy and her parents. No employees around to spy on us either. We have the whole place to ourselves.”