Damaged and the Beast (14 page)

Drying my face with a napkin, I shrugged. “That’s why I want to be a teacher.”

Cooper stared another minute then let out an unsteady breath. “Then, you’ll be a teacher. I can read people and I know when they’re bullshitting themselves. When you talk about it, I know it’ll happen. People like you make it happen.”

Smiling slightly, I watched him. “I’ve never told anyone that except for Tawny.”

“Aren’t you glad I bullied it out of you?”

Nodding, I smiled wider. “Yeah, actually. It felt liberating.”

Cooper leaned forward and caressed my cheek. “You have a million walls up, baby. When I saw them the first time you walked into Spanish class, I told myself you were too much effort, but I was a fool. You’re worth every ounce of trouble you give me.”

“Oh, and I give you trouble as part of my devious plan?”

“No doubt about that. There’s your finger. Here’s me wrapped around it.”

Laughing again because of his earnest expression, I felt lighter since sharing my story. Mostly, I felt like I had a stronger connection to Cooper. As if I showed him a never healing wound and he didn’t poke at it. He wasn’t what I expected and I liked how he surprised me.

The food arrived soon after I finished telling my story. Even with no proof, I knew Cooper kept them from serving us until he got what he wanted first. The food was hot though and I wondered if they had to remake it because people who came in after us were already eating.

No matter the timing, I didn’t care once I took a bite. Moaning quietly, I smiled at him.

“Best Italian in the state,” Cooper said. “Of course, it’s Kentucky so maybe that doesn’t mean much, but it’s fucking good.”

“It is very fucking good.” Cooper’s eyes locked on mine and he gave me his “jeans were too tight” look. “You have issues,” I teased. “Like maybe you need to see a doctor?”

“It’s been two weeks since I’ve had a release. You had to be so hot, didn’t you?”

“Not even your hand?” I whispered.

“Well, that hardly counts.”

“See, that’s your problem right there. You’re spoiled. Lower your standards and life will get easier.”

Cooper laughed. “Is that your way of saying I won’t get any help this evening?”

“I grant you permission to imagine me while alone with your hand. Is that the help you were looking for?”

“I’ve already done all kinds of things with you in my head. So no, that won’t be enough help.”

“I’m not having sex with you,” I said then added, “Tonight.”

Cooper leaned back and grinned brightly. “Ah, finally the disclaimer.”

“I think about you when I’m alone,” I whispered.

Cooper’s expression sent me into hysterics. Everything from horny boy to shock to joyous relief got stuck into one weird facial expression. Even after I was laughing, he seemed unable to respond.

“You’re a wicked little bitch, aren’t you?” he finally said, adjusting in his chair.

“Stop calling me a bitch.”

“I call everyone that. My sisters, my dogs even the male ones, my brother, my Harleys. I called a squirrel a bitch yesterday. To be fair, the little furry bitch had it coming.”

Laughing behind my hand, I finally settled down and returned to eating. “I don’t masturbate. What’s it like?”

Cooper spit out his soda then glared at me. “You timed that.”

“Yes, I did. It’s not fun having someone mess with you, is it?”

“Oh, it’s on. Since you asked, masturbating is a great stress releaser. You know what else is?”

“Is this going to make me vomit?”

“Probably,” he said, laughing. “Yeah, I should wait until you finish eating. Dry heaves are the worst.”

Chewing and laughing, I struggled not to choke. When I finally settled down, I took a sip of my soda.

“I’m glad you asked me out tonight.”

Cooper’s ornery expression faded into a soft smile. “I wanted it to be like this. Ever since the bullshit on Sunday, I wanted another chance and for it to be like this. It feels really good, doesn’t it?”

There was genuine need in his question and I smiled. “It feels great, Cooper. Better than I’ve felt in a long time.”

“And you haven’t even enjoyed a canolli yet.”

Grinning, we finished our pasta then sat back and waited for dessert.

“I know tonight will be no more than some very heavy petting,” Cooper said full of sincerity. “I know my hand and I will have to finish the job without you. I know all that so don’t freak out when I ask this question. Deal?”

“Ask first.”

Cooper grinned. “This weekend, I’d like you to come to my house and hang out. We have the pool and a TV the size of this restaurant. Oh, a pool table too. It’ll be fun and I’d like to spend time with you like we did tonight. You’re pretty irresistible when you’re relaxed.”

“But I’m resistible when I’m tense? I’ve been tense since we met so why do you keep asking me out?”

“Fine, you’re irresistible period, but you’re especially sexy when you let yourself be you. Teasing me like that was pretty awesome, though I think I really might need medical attention now.”

As I nearly spit out my drink, Cooper laughed. Suddenly, I wasn’t Farah Smith. I had no past or future. I was just in this single moment with this beautiful funny man who wanted me. I didn’t worry if he’d want me tomorrow or next week. At this moment, we were perfect and I embraced the feeling.

“I would like to come over this weekend.”

Cooper’s amusement faded and he studied me. “You feel it, right? It’s not just me because I can’t have it be just me.”

“I feel it,” I said softly.

“Thank God. I was going nuts thinking I’d suffered a brain injury without noticing.”

“I don’t have a swimsuit,” I lied. “I’ll need to get one.”

My swimsuit was on its last thread, having been worn going on six years. I wondered if I could find a new one under twenty dollars.

“You could just wear one of Bailey’s. She has a million and she’d share. She likes you.”

“I like her too,” I said then frowned. “Will your parents be there? Bailey said I couldn’t come into the house without them there.”

Cooper’s lack of a reaction told me Bailey was blowing smoke up my ass to get me to talk to her brother. I sighed at how they played me so easily.

“Chicks lie,” he said, shrugging. “What can I tell you?”

“If she’d let me borrow one, that would be great. There’s no pool at our apartment complex and I’d hate to buy a suit if I’m not going to use it a lot.”

“Stick with me, baby, and I’ll have you running around half naked twelve hours out of the day. You’ll be naked the other twelve.”

“I was wondering where horny Cooper went?”

“Speaking of twenty four seven,” he said, giving me a wink. “I hope the horniness will get easier after I’ve gotten a taste.”

“You’re kinda gross, you know?”

Cooper wiggled his eyebrows. “Haven’t you heard? I’m very talented at that sort of thing.”

“Who would I have heard that from?”

“Skye.”

“You and Skye?”

“No, but she knows. Ask her.”

“No way.”

“You’ll ask her,” Cooper said, glancing over my shoulder at the arriving waiter. “You’re curious now.”

“Maybe.”

The waiter set down our desserts and I took no time digging in. The food was so good that I had a physical reaction to it almost like when Cooper kissed me. My body softened and relaxed in a weird comforting way.

“Good, huh?” he said, eating half then leaving the rest for me to finish.

“Aren’t you hungry?” I asked, wanting more.

“I’ll have another dinner later.”

My heart jumped and I spoke without thinking. “You’re going on another date tonight?”

Cooper lost his smile and glanced around the restaurant. Twisting his lips, he finally settled on a grim frown. “I thought you said you felt it too. I thought you understood, but you think I’m going on another fucking date?”

Cooper’s voice was no more than an angry whisper, but other customers glanced in our direction. Lowering my gaze, I didn’t know how to answer.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “Can I still have your dessert?”

Sighing, Cooper pushed the plate to my side of the table. “If it’s just me, you should tell me. I don’t want to be a fool.”

“I told you I felt it too,” I replied in a quiet voice, avoiding his gaze.

“Like I said, chicks lie.”

“So do guys. I’m afraid I’ll be a fool believing you like me so much.”

Cooper eased back into his chair and the rigidness left his jaw. “I’ll let it go because I know you have issues. I just don’t want you pretending because it’s real for me.”

“I didn’t mean to act like it wasn’t for me. I’m just not used to attention from guys and you’re not an average guy. I feel like it’s a joke for you to like me.”

Cooper’s dark eyes studied me then a little more irritation left his face. “You have those walls up and that’s why guys don’t make a move. When you’re too tired, the walls come down a little. Like the night at the party when guys were making moves. Even with you wearing that uniform, they wanted you. I think deep inside you know they do, but you like to pretend you’re undesirable. It makes you feel safe.”

“Safe from what?” I asked, fearing his answer.

“You’re alone here. Vulnerable. You need to feel in control because you aren’t in control. When Bailey feels out of her league, she gets loud and rude. You just shut down and put up all those walls. You can’t know how hot you were when you let one of the walls come down and told me about your dream to be a teacher. I’d never seen anything more beautiful.”

Swallowing hard, I couldn’t respond. Wouldn’t respond with a trite thank you or I like you too. I just remained silent and ate the cannoli and hoped we could kiss later. I couldn’t believe I wanted to feel him against me, but I craved the closeness he promised. I also believed he wouldn’t push too far. He was waiting now. No matter his talk of tight jeans and medical attention, Cooper would wait.

“I’m glad I couldn’t go into your parents’ house the other day,” I said as a lame way to admit how much I enjoyed myself.

“Sometimes when Bailey lies, magic happens.”

“I ate way too much.”

“But it was good.”

“It was great,” I said then took a deep breath to build up my courage. “My mom won’t be home for a while. We could sit and watch TV and do the heavy petting you mentioned.”

Cooper stared at me expressionless. Finally, he shivered. “Took all of my self-control not to throw you over my shoulder and run back to your apartment. I’m good now though.”

Smiling, I finished my drink. “Whenever you’re ready, I am.”

“Girl, you know just the right things to say.”

Cooper paid the check and soon we were back into the hot evening. He wrapped an arm around me as we walked to his truck and I inched closer so I was right next to him. Even without looking, I knew he liked that gesture. His breathing came out unsteady like he was fighting for control. Once we were in the truck, he lost it.

I might have panicked at the suddenness of his kiss and how I was immediately wrapped in his strong arms. Despite his need, Cooper was gentle and I relaxed into the embrace. I understood him better now. At least, I hoped I did and wasn’t lying to myself because he was so beautiful.

Cooper’s strong hands were in my hair, pulling me closer. His passion should have overwhelmed me, but something changed in the restaurant. I felt like he knew me and this gave me power. Bravely, I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my body along his.

Moaning into my mouth, Cooper deepened his kisses. The hunger behind them intensified until my bravery felt insufficient. He wouldn’t stop and I wasn’t ready for him to take it all. He knew me and I had power, but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t in the now with Cooper, but back to being Farah Smith.

Fear shot through me and I tried to break free. Cooper knew I wanted him to let go. He felt my hands wedged between us, pushing him off, but he didn’t stop. Not right away. His kisses softened, but he didn’t let me go for another few minutes until I was nearly clawing at him to stop.

There was a moment right then between us when I wanted to jump out of the truck and run away. His gaze challenging me, Cooper wasn’t teasing or horny. He was claiming me and my desires weren’t even on his radar. Now, we were on his timetable, not mine.

Instead of running away, I put on my seatbelt and stared out the window. Cooper started the car, turned up the radio, and let it sink in how he was in charge. I’d shown him how important he was to me so he wouldn’t beg. Didn’t have to beg when I needed him more than he needed me.

Fuck him!

His friends, money, and affection were shit next to my dreams. I didn’t need him. I needed to be a teacher. I needed my sister. Being fucked by this asshole wasn’t even on the top hundred things I needed.

Arriving at my apartment, Cooper looked for a spot to park, but I undid my seatbelt once we reached the entrance.