All We See & Seem (Timber Wolves) (6 page)

Jase.

And just like that, she knew that even if she’d never heard the words “Shifter” or “Seer”, she and Walker would never work out. Her heart belonged to Jase. He might not want it, but it was his. It would have been cruel to Walker to pretend otherwise.

Actually, once she thought about it, what she was doing right now was kind of cruel. She had to put an end to this charade before he got the wrong idea.

“I called Makya,” she said instead of telling him what her favorite class was like he’d asked.

The quick change in conversation didn’t seem to faze him. “I knew you would.”

“He confirmed your story.”

“I didn’t think you would be here otherwise.”

According to Walker, he had heard about her rise in rank on Facebook. Because apparently there was a Facebook group for Shifters. It seemed wrong to Talley on so many levels, mostly the ones involving putting the privacy and security of Shifters and Seers in the hands of Mark Zuckerberg. After seeing the post about the new Potential, Walker had done a bit of Facebook stalking. At first it was out of curiosity, but the more he read about her, the more interested he grew. Finally, he’d contacted Makya, one of the members of the Hagan Pack who Walker knew from Camp Sk’elep, a summer camp for young Shifters and Seers. Camp Sk’elep (or Camp Coyote as the kids all called it) was supposed to be a place for “the next generation of leaders to form friendships and alliances”. In reality, it was a place for teenage Shifters to brawl with people outside their own pack and teenage Seers to kiss as many Shifters as possible to figure which one they wouldn’t mind marrying someday. Jase, Charlie, and Talley never went. Talley used her allergies as an excuse, Charlie managed to schedule a basketball workshop every summer during that week, and Jase… well, Jase just refused to go. His biological father had died before he was born, and he had been raised by Scout’s biological father, who was a school superintendent and quite possibly the furthest thing from a Shifter in the whole world. Since Toby couldn’t exactly override Jase’s parents, Jase got away with flat out refusing a lot of things the rest of them couldn’t.

While most of the younger members of the Hagan Pack avoided Camp Coyote at all costs, Makya Hagan counted down the days until he could go every summer. Charlie said it was because he finally got a chance to be more dominant than someone else, but Talley thought it was because he didn’t have to feel like a Scout-substitute with those people like he did at any given pack function. According to Walker, Makya was pretty much the king of the camp. He was one of the most dominant Shifters in his age bracket, which meant all the other Shifters looked up to him and all the Seers wanted to date him. Talley didn’t exactly see the appeal, but then again, she was always comparing him to Jase and Charlie, who were more dominant and charismatic by far.

Walker had been surprised when Makya not only remembered him and agreed to talk to him, but was willing to dish out information on Talley. According to Walker, Makya even called him on the phone to give a verbal rundown of her many virtues. Walker declared by the end of the conversation he couldn’t not take the chance. He had to meet her and see if there was a possibility of anything happening between them.

“Listen, Talley,” Walker said, “I know I’m not the like those other guys who have come to see you. They’re all Tatum Channings, and I seem to be channeling Seth Rogen more often than not. I don’t know how to woo you, and I haven’t got money or power or a glamours life to offer you. Hell, I want to take you away from a glamorous life—”

“Take me away?”

Walker focused on the sagging unnaturally pink daisy in the middle of the table. “I don’t have any desire to join the Alphas, Talley. I don’t want to leave my pack. I want to save them.”

Talley reached across the table to where his hand rested. He turned it over without hesitation and threaded their fingers together. Anyone who looked over would think they were merely a couple showing a bit of affection, but neither person at the table was under any delusion about what was going on. Talley wanted to See, and Walker was willing to let her.

“How do you think I can help you save your pack?” Even with the muted read she got off of him, Talley could feel the desperation and hope.

“You’re a Seer. A strong one.”

“Yes.” She felt a bit conceited agreeing, but it was the truth. Denying it would have been an insult to them both.

“My pack is dying out. We’re down to my grandfather, my great-uncle, my father, and me. If I don’t repopulate our pack with Dominants, then in a generation or two, it’s all over for us. The Helkamp Pack will fade into obscurity. It’ll be like we never existed.”

Even holding onto his hand and getting a read on his emotions, Talley had no idea what he was trying to say.

“I’m sorry, but what does my position as a strong Seer have to do with you needing to father a bunch…” As she said it, it all came together in her head. “Oh. Oh!” She jerked her hand back. It kept her from Seeing, but there was no way she could continue to touch him. “You want me to be your broodmare?”

“It’s not like that.”

“How else could it be?” Talley thought she had come to terms with people wanting to use her, but this took things to a whole new level. Maybe it’s because the other guys had never even hinted at the type of intimacy needed to make babies, while Walker was sitting here telling her that making babies was his main goal. He didn’t just want to use her, but her body as well. Somehow, that made it worse. “You just said you want someone to give you a litter of Dominants, and you think I can do that because I’m a Seer.” Not that she believed that Seers gave birth to more dominant Shifters. She grew up in the Hagan Pack where none of the most dominant members had Seer mothers.

“What? No. I—” Walker raked a hand through his hair. “No, you’re right. I do want to marry a Seer and have a bunch of dominant babies. But that’s not all I want.” His brown eyes met hers and she didn’t have to be touching him to see his sincerity. “I don’t want just any Seer. I want one who is beautiful and smart and funny. I want one who is so nice and good even an asshole like Makya can’t think of a single bad thing to say about her. I want to marry someone I love, and I want to have a whole houseful of kids I can teach how to play baseball and help them with their homework. I don’t want just any Seer, Talley. I want you.”

A girl at the table next to them laughed at something her friend said, and for a moment Talley felt certain she was laughing at Walker’s declaration.

He wanted her. He thought she was smart and funny. He thought she was
beautiful
. It was written all over his face. He really did want this to happen. He wanted to fall in love with her. Talley was surprised to find that part of her wanted that too, which made what she had to do even harder.

“Walker, I’m sorry—”

“All I’m asking for is a chance. Just give me some time.”

“I can’t.” Walker started to respond, but Talley shook her head. “No, listen. Please. I’m sorry. You have to believe me when I say I didn’t have any idea that you… that it was…” She took a deep breath and realized she had lost all the feeling in her left index finger. She slowly unwound her hair from around it, and put her hands in her lap, giving herself a mental lashing for falling back on the old bad habit. “I didn’t know you had feelings.”

The corner of Walker’s mouth lifted in the saddest smile Talley had ever had the misfortune of witnessing. “Everyone has feelings, Talley.”

“I know. I didn’t mean…” She caught herself winding yet another lock of hair around her finger. “I came here under false pretenses, and I feel really, really bad about that. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Was that presumptuous? To assume that telling him she would never date him, let alone become the mother of his children, was going to hurt his feelings? “I mean, not that—”

“Please stop.”

Talley could feel the familiar stinging in her eyes and nearly burst into tears at the thought of crying in front of him and making this situation even more awkward. With a few rapid blinks and one good hard swallow she got it under control. “I’m s—”

“You’re sorry. I know.” His words were rough, but she knew the difference between pain and anger. “I’m a big boy. I’ll be okay.” He was looking at the daisy on the table like he wanted nothing more than to smash the old glass Coke bottle being used as a vase against the wall. “What do you need from me?”

“I don’t need—”

He didn’t raise his head, but his eyes cut up towards her. “Don’t. I just want to get this over with and leave. The quicker you tell me what it is you want, the faster I can go home.”

Talley was pretty sure she’d never felt more like a horrible person in her life. She considered lying and telling him that she just wanted a date with a nice guy but couldn’t consider getting serious with a submissive coyote when she was a Potential, but she knew it wouldn’t work. She was a horrible liar, and couldn’t force herself to attempt it. “I want to know why I can’t See you correctly.”

A giant gust of air whooshed from Walker’s lungs, taking all his aggression with it. “Because you’re in love with someone else?”

“What do—? How did—?” Talley’s face burst into flames. “I’m not in love with anyone.”

“Yeah, you are.” Talley started to deny it, but Walker cut her off. “It’s in the way you look at me. You’re measuring me up against him, and no matter what I do, I’m always going to come up lacking.”

There was so much blood pooling in Talley’s cheeks her eardrums began to thrum. “I meant ‘See’ with a big ‘S’,” she said, pulling the conversation back onto a track that didn’t lead straight to Jase-Will-Never-Love-Me-Back Town. “When I touch you, your thoughts and emotions are muted. I can’t get a good read off of you. I want - I
need
- to know how you’re doing it.” She realized how horrible she must seem, asking him to tell her after she had just rejected him. “I know you probably don’t like me much right now—”

“I’m trying really hard not to. Unfortunately, you’re extremely likable.”

The blood that had worked its way back to where it belonged surged right back into her cheeks. “I need to know, Walker. If there is a way my friends and family can keep me out of their heads, then I need to know.” It wouldn’t change much, but at least Jase wouldn’t be terrified of her touch anymore. “Please.”

She thought he was going to refuse, but then a tiny, defeated sigh gave her hope.

“I don’t know,” he said, chasing all that ridiculous hope away. “My grandmother was… different. I don’t remember her very well because she died when I was ten, but there was always something off about her. My other grandmother, my dad’s mom, says she was a witch.”

“A witch?” That word evoked some fairly strong emotions in Talley since her best friend was recently accused of being one.

“Yeah, a witch. Like the kind with spells, not the one you call someone when you really mean ‘hateful bitch’.”

“Was she?”

Most people would have looked at her like she was crazy for asking, but then again, most people don’t turn into a coyote under the light of the full moon. “I don’t know. I never saw her do anything witch-like. It wasn’t like there was eye of newt and magic brooms sitting around her house. But she did have a lot of plants. Like, a ridiculous number of plants. They were everywhere. They weren't weird, witchy plants, though. Just the normal stuff. Ivy. Violets. Aloe.” He trailed a finger down a petal of the flower sitting in the middle of their table. “Daisies. She had some herbs and stuff, but all I ever saw her do with them was make me lasagna.”

“So, she was just an odd lady who liked plants?”

Walker’s finger trailed down another petal of the daisy. When he got to the end he flaked of the dried out tip. “The thing is, her plants were always healthy. All of them. Even in the middle of the winter.” He looked up to make sure Talley was paying attention. “The weirdest thing to my other grandmother, however, is that she couldn’t See her memories. Anyone else in the world, Grandma Helkamp can touch and See whatever that person’s happiest memory is. It isn’t a fancy Sight, but it’s flawless. Except with Grandma Rushing. At first she thought it was because she didn’t have any happy memories, but anyone who met her knew that wasn’t true. Grandma Rushing loved life. The fact that the sun rose in the east made her happy. But no matter what she did or how many times she tried, Grandma Helkamp couldn’t See a thing.”

Talley looked at the dead bits of flower on the table and thought about what she knew about Thaumaturgics. When Talley heard the word “witch”, her mind immediately went to the movie
Hocus Pocus
, but Thaumaturgics had little in common with
Sarah Jessica Parker and black-flamed candles. According to all the information she could gather while at the Alpha’s cabin awaiting Scout’s trial, Thaumaturgics were similar to Seers. They were women born with special gifts, and just like with Seers, it was supposed to be one gift per customer. But where Seers could only See a particular something, Thaumaturgics could supposedly manipulate their one special gift. One of the Omegas claimed he once met one who could control the wind. He said that he had been young when his father had cornered her outside their home in Turkey, but he would never forget the tornado she conjured out of nowhere that leveled their house.

Talley hadn’t believed him. She hadn’t really believed that Thaumaturgics existed, although she would never admit that to anyone who might get word back to her mother. But if she could believe Walker…