A Touch Morbid (5 page)

“What’s valuable to you? We need to make this happen.”

Something about Madeline’s words hit her. She couldn’t give her false hope. If she wasn’t going to be able to take out the Siders anymore, what did it matter if everyone knew? They’d find out eventually. Better from her. Eden opened her mouth.

Az grabbed her leg, startling her. “We need to go. I need…” He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and bit his lip. “Now.” He stood and leaned into Eden, speaking low enough that only she would hear. “It’s not getting better.”

Her heart thumped hard in her chest. “Okay, we’ve got this,” she said, with a calm she wasn’t even close to feeling. She couldn’t keep the desperation from her face when she turned to the other girl. “Madeline, we have to grab a cab.”

Madeline headed to the corner, her arm raised. Eden helped Az to the curb as the cab pulled up.

“Thank you,” she said to Madeline, slipping into the car beside Az. She gave the driver the address distractedly, her attention on Az as the car drove off, leaving Madeline behind.

Eden rested her head on his shoulder, her lips against his ear. She forgot about Madeline’s offer, the cab, the world. “I’m with you,” she said to him, soft as a lullaby. “I’ll always be with you, right here next to you. I love you.”

She ran her fingers up the side of his neck, gently tilted him closer. He dropped against her shoulder, and she moved a subtle hand to his back. Under her fingers, his wings trembled.

“I am
not
leaving you,” he grated out, his arm wrapping around her. The tightness of it stole her breath. His chest heaved, and under her hand his wings flexed, straining against the ace bandage she knew would be wrapped tight to keep them hidden.

“Fight it,” she whispered. “You fight it. Don’t you dare leave me.”

His lips rose from her shoulder to her neck. He kissed her there, his hands winding into her hair. Desire ripped through her at the intensity, his skin hot against hers. He pulled back suddenly, drawing a breath.

“Shhh,” she murmured.

“They can’t make me go.” Every word came softer, trepidation in each one, as if he didn’t quite believe what he said.

“I know,” she said, running her hand through his hair. A tiny knot of dread tightened inside her heart.

Only talking about Gabe had set him off this time.

He was getting worse, getting weaker.

Az lowered his head back onto the seat, his breathing slow and even, his eyes closed, though she knew he couldn’t be sleeping. He looked younger when the tension left his face.

She pulled her phone from her pocket, careful not to jostle Az. If Luke was angry, maybe Gabe wasn’t as evil as he’d hoped. Maybe… Maybe he was still himself enough that he would help Az. She hesitated and then typed out a text to the last number that had called her.

He needs Gabe back. You need Vaughn dead. Find me Gabriel first, and then I’ll handle Vaughn
.

Eden lowered her head to the back of the seat, watching Az silently. Taking out Vaughn meant she would be sending him Downstairs. The thought made her sick. On the seat beside her, Az heaved a sigh. She ran a finger down his temple, across his cheek and chin, knowing she’d made her decision.

“Whatever it takes,” she whispered.

K
risten’s hands were freezing, curled into fists and tucked against the folds of her dress.
How did I get here?
she thought, panicked, suddenly aware of the bench she sat on, the empty park around her. She shook her head, tossing free the snow that had settled on her hair, and wrapped her bare arms around herself. Her teeth had stopped chattering. How long ago, she wasn’t sure.

Think. There has to be an explanation
.

You knew this would happen
, her mind argued.
You’re slipping without Gabe
.

Her jaw felt wired shut. For a split second, she felt the wires, hardware glued to her teeth holding her mouth shut.
Not real. It’s not real
. The feeling faded. She took in a huge stuttered gasp of air. She’d banished the hallucination. It was all the proof she needed. “I am
not
slipping.”

Not yet.

The Bound. The thought came from nowhere.

“My God,” she whispered. Gabe had been able to read her thoughts. Maybe others who were Bound would be able to put thoughts
there
. “That’s it. It has to be.”

Her breath clouded, hovering before it dissipated. Would Gabe have been angry enough to tell the Bound about the Siders? She shook her head. No, if he did, they would come after his precious Eden, too.

Gabriel had worked so hard to hide the Siders away, keep them a secret so the Bound wouldn’t have them destroyed. But maybe they hadn’t needed Gabe. Maybe they’d found her anyway. Discovered the Siders. Were tormenting her.

“Get out of my head,” she commanded. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to make me think I’m going crazy, but I’m not!”

She heard a stick snap behind her. Footsteps crunching in the snow. “Kristen?”

“No. You leave me alone.” Her voice broke. Gabriel had told her how the Bound did what they felt needed to be done. Miracles took second seat to plagues, death, and destruction. They would torture her. Use her to find out how to kill the other Siders.

If there was anyone there at all.

She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m not playing your games. I know you’re not there.”

Pressure on her shoulder. A hand.

So real.

“Kristen, open your eyes.” The footsteps rounded the corner of the bench. The rustle of fabric as someone—
no, you’re imagining this
—as she imagined someone squatting down.

“No one’s there.” She leaned forward, rocking against her knees. A touch of fingertips, a hand pushing her back, forcing her to straighten. She shuddered. It felt so real.

“Open your eyes,” the voice demanded.

“I’m not going crazy,” she whispered.

“Going? From the look of you that line got crossed some time ago, my romantic hopeless.”

She didn’t bother answering. Sane people didn’t answer voices.

“Kristen?” Tender tones now. New tactics.
Beware
, some part of her mind cried.
They’ll trick you
. When he spoke again, any semblance of kindness had disappeared from his voice. “You’re in the park. You’re also covered in snow, and it’s freezing out. Now, clearly you weren’t
batshit
when you called me—”

“I did not call anyone.” She pressed her lips together.

“It’s Luke, Kristen.” Her breath caught. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

He was only inches from her face, flakes of snow caught in his black curls. He reached out to her, and in her shock, her hand left her lap, found his. A smile flashed across his lips at the contact, satisfaction glinting in the obsidian of his eyes.

“You called,” he said. “And I came to you.” He rose off his knees in one lithe move and slid beside her on the bench.

“I…” she trailed off. “No. No, you stay away from me.” She squeezed his hand for a second, long enough to feel the bones, make sure it was real before she tossed it away. “You don’t get to talk to me ever again.”

“Today hasn’t been so good?” He said it like she’d missed her bus or misplaced her keys. She hesitated, but his smile broke her down. There was no pity in it. He took her hands again, rubbing his over them slowly to generate warmth.

She glanced around. Everything lay under at least an inch of fresh snow. The lamps along the path were lit, fooled by the cloud cover, though it wasn’t yet dark. She blinked as the wind shifted into her face. Save for herself and Luke, the park was empty. No one would see her talking to him.

Her fingers felt frozen, mottled with patches of maroon and white. Luke followed her gaze down to their hands.

“Could you go, please?” She heard the desperate plea in it, knew before he answered that it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Come on, you know I’m not going to leave you.”

She licked her lips, and they seemed to freeze almost instantly.

Anxiety flooded through her. How long had she been gone? Had anyone else seen her leave? Why couldn’t she have called Sebastian? Her face crumpled, and Luke lowered his voice. “No one has to know you let me help. It can be our secret.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” she whispered. His name already sullied too many of her secrets.

“None of this is your fault. You shouldn’t have to go through this.” She searched his eyes, waiting for some sign that he played her, malice hidden in the darkest corners, but found none.

“Kristen,” he said, slouching forward to rest his elbows on his knees. His fingers rubbed the bridge of his nose, ran across his high cheekbone to tuck his hair behind his ear. He scooted closer. “Let me inside.”

She heard a faint pop, the sound of static. Even her own diseased brain reacted in fear. She’d only let him do it once. Too easily she remembered the slippery shivers, the dangerous thrill of opening her mind to him. Fallen or not, he had the same skills as Gabe when it came to fixing her brain. “No.” Panic rose in her throat. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Kristen, stop.” He gripped her chin, forced her to face him. She kept her eyes closed, her lips pressed tight.

A giggle broke out. Kristen whimpered as she realized it came from neither of them. It grew into a laugh, echoing around in her head.
What will he do when she loses her mind in his clutches?
a small voice asked.

A ricocheting cacophony burst through her skull.
She would never Are you sure She wouldn’t dare But he has the same talents as This one crossed her, betrayed her, and she won’t make that mistake again Never let him in

Never let him in
.

“I’m asking your permission.” Luke’s voice. Louder than the others. “Kristen, you can’t make me see you like this,” he snarled, and then his voice softened as he took her hands. “Open your eyes. Let me help you. No catch.”

Her breath came in short gasps. Soon she’d be drowning in the madness. She’d never be able to hold out for Gabe.

Luke’s lying He cares nothing for her It’s all a game If she gives in he wins

“Shut up!” she screamed. She wanted to yank her hands over her ears, but Luke had her hands.

Just this once. Letting him in even a little would give her time to reach Gabe—hell, she’d go through Az if she had to—and apologize a thousand times. She swallowed hard, her heart slamming in her chest. She only needed a little help, would let Luke in for a few seconds, no more.

What if it’s a trick?
She cleared her mind as best she could. Banished thoughts of Gabe, Eden, Az. And then she opened her eyes.

“Do it quickly,” she choked out.

His fingers wound gently around the back of her head, massaging into her hair, but she was barely aware, locked into the black pupils, the absence of light concentrated in the center of his eyes.

She felt the connection take, the cool sizzle of him sliding into her skull. His breath hit her lips. The static dialed up, a scream of white noise, then again, louder.
Get him out
.

She managed to lift her arms, pushing him away as her clarity came back. “Stop,” she murmured. “Stop.”

Luke untangled from her hair when she started to resist, squeezed her shoulders. “I need to finish.”

“STOP!” she screamed.

He turned his head, and the noise snapped off. Everything dulled. Kristen blinked hard, sudden tears of relief and embarrassment caught in her lashes. Luke. She’d let Luke into her head. Again. Shame rolled over her.

“I wasn’t done!”

She jerked her shoulders out of his grasp, staggering to her feet. “Stay away from me.”

“Kristen!” he called after her, louder as she made her way out of the park. “It won’t last!”

Luke stayed where she’d left him on the bench. She quickened her steps anyway. Not to see if he’d chase, only to get her blood pumping again, to get warm. Nothing more.

She pushed the thought of him from her mind, her scalp still tingling where his fingers had pressed tight.